I just joined this sub and was looking for some input about others’ experiences. My wife and I have been together for 16 years, married 9. The last 5 years have become and increasingly tumultuous. For the past year I’ve found myself often wondering if we’d be better off apart from each other. I tend to find myself wondering if the grass is truly greener on the other side and have seriously considered divorce.

Here are my concerns:

The emotional fallout and depression could be catastrophic. I was recently diagnosed with Parkinson’s, which amplifies depressive states and have shown a real lack of impulse control when compensating for a poor emotional state.

Finances and debt: I’ve recently needed to take a substantial loan out against my 401k to pay off the above mentioned lack of impulse control. I make a modest salary but fear that rising rent and housing costs, along with inflation will bled me dry, not to mention the cost of the divorce itself.

I feel like I’ve been caught in my own feedback loop. I’d like to hear from anyone about their experiences so I can glean insight. When did you know it was really time? What was the transition like? What were the costs involved?