Strategy for Young People?

extraacct1234 · 2020-02-01T15:40:17+00:00

Well if he can't pay for an expensive dates then he needs to be planning thoughtful dates. He should be putting time and effort into you, consideration, thoughtfulness.

NecessarilyDark · 2020-02-01T15:06:40+00:00

[deleted]

miz_nyc · 2020-02-01T14:59:42+00:00

It's not about expensive dates, not all dates have to be expensive and I don't think that this sub is endorsing expensive dates only. I don't think the advice given here would be different for under 22s either. Just know if you're fine with a guy not paying for dates in the beginning don't be shocked when he doesn't want to pay later on down the line either.

venomous_g · 2020-02-01T15:07:34+00:00

As a young woman, your primary focus should be learning yourself, establishing yourself in whatever career/job you've decided on, finishing college, making connections and having fun. The guys you date have to show you respect and consideration, and you should expect them to make an effort. He'll want to make the best of what money and resources he does have to show you he values you. Oh, and don't confuse him spending a lot of money with caring about you, especially if you end up with someone a few years older (but no more than a few!) and a bit more financially stable. You'll know the difference when you see it.

Date so that you can have experience dealing with men in relationships (this doesn't have to mean sex) that you can use to better filter out bad matches in the future, but don't take it too seriously. Dating should be simple, especially at your age.

ThinkTofu · 2020-02-01T23:23:36+00:00

My friend is in grad school and is completely broke.

He still manages to treat his girlfriend like a queen.

He takes her on thoughtful dates and trips, he makes her homemade gifts, he fixes and builds things for her, works hard on side hustles to have some money to take her out.

He's been doing this for 2.5 years, no signs of letting up. It's just who he is.

Any man who doesn't go above and beyond for you is not worth your time.

half_glass_of_crap · 2020-02-02T04:59:58+00:00

I think the emphasis on money is wrong here. It's all relative to what a person can afford but being considerate, sweet, and caring is absolutely free! Is he asking you about what you want to do and making time for that? Does he remember what your favorite food is? Does he ever surprise you with something thoughtful? It doesn't take a lot of money to take someone out if you have a bit of imagination.

2020-02-02T03:55:14+00:00

I saw a post on relationships the other day that I believe I crossposted here as well, where a man was already planning a one-day wedding gift for his girlfriend, by writing letters/journal entries about his feelings for her, and taking photos and compiling them into a scrapbook. Free, but one of the sweetest things I had ever heard. I'm the kind of gal who would choose a hand-written love letter over a gift, or a thoughtfully planned picnic with my fave foods over an expensive dinner (although I would absolutely appreciate a fancy dinner!). At the end of the day it's all about effort for me. No more low-effort fuckboys of any age. ;)

Title	Strategy for Young People?
Author	NecessarilyDark
Upvotes	22
Comments	11
Date	February 1, 2020 11:13 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ex4p8x/strategy_for_young_people/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/strategy-for-young-people.683546 https://theredarchive.com/post/683546

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