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[–]Ka_Tetof99FDS Newbie37 points38 points39 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The part about it affecting other relationships in your life is so true and incredibly painful. You learn very quickly how much people prioritize, consciously or not, their own comfort and stability and normalcy, and how far they’ll go to sweep things under the rug and smooth them over to avoid having their status quo even slightly disrupted. Even if you’re rocking the boat in a positive way, it will be interpreted as stirring up trouble for no reason.
[–]Bitemebitch00FDS Apprentice26 points27 points28 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Fuck. Being an empath isn’t as cool as I thought it was.
[–]2340000FDS Disciple20 points21 points22 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It certainly is not. All my life I've had to seriously vet men and women because I cannot be surrounded by people who don't care. It's that serious. My quality of life depends on it and if they're not adding value there's no reason for them to exist in my life. It's been so lonely, but many times I've been glad that I shielded myself from most nonsense.
And for the people I'm "required" to interact with, like family, I'm done doing the emotional labor for those who feel entitled to it.
[–]dzgataFDS Apprentice26 points27 points28 points 6 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
I had a “friend” who ghosted me and slandered me to others because I told her she deserved better than a man who blocks her every other month and cheats on her during those periods. I’m just a horrible feminist bitch I guess lmao. I think what she did to me hurts far more than anything a man could do. Something about pickmeishas being traitors to their own gender that really unsettles me. Men could sweep the floor with them and they’ll slit your throat for simply pointing it out and wanting better for them. That’s why I’ve lost sympathy for them. We have a saying where I’m from that roughly translates to “the dog loves its abuser.” It’s harsh but true.
I don’t mean to put down all who have been abused. I know plenty of women who have been abused who are NOT pickmeishas or traitors. They’re completely different. I hope you guys understand what I mean. There’s a difference between a woman who is abused and wants better for others and a woman who is abused and tries to harm others and get them to be abused as well. The latter is evil in my eyes. Like take that cruel energy and apply it to your shitty man. Don’t go harming others instead. Like women who abuse their kids and let them get abused by their trash boyfriend or husband. I have no sympathy for them.
[–]woiashenseeaFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Like women who abuse their kids and let them get abused by their trash boyfriend or husband
Like my mother? Yeah that's why I have Cancelled pickme behavior in my life
[–]surviveIIthriveFDS Apprentice8 points9 points10 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Vassraptor broke it down!! Whew!
This is why it’s important to play dumb! Don’t be overt with your intentions to not coddle men! Just fake it! Be detached and give them platitudes. It is so much easier to fake it then it is to fight/argue/prove them wrong/change their perspective! Don’t save them, they don’t want to be saved! LVM or Pickmeishas. Thinking you can save them is a form of coddling/unearned emotional labor. Stop it!!
Don’t out yourself because that only puts a target on your back. Don’t go around preaching to friends and colleagues. Play dumb. Make awwwww noises and tell them what they want to hear. These days I have no sympathy to spare for pickmeishas cause they are the first ones to alienate and judge you for being a man hating feminist and tell you how picky you are and how you’re going to die alone. They have made their bed and have to lie in it! If she complains just give her a little bit of attention and change the subject! Don’t coddle her either. Don’t try to tell her she’s being used/disrespected cause she will feel judged for her choices and will resent you! She just wants to commiserate so make the superficial noises she wants to hear and move on.
Continue to be choosy about the ppl you trust and bring close to you. As for the rest, keep it cute and superficial. This includes LVM you meet online, no need to clap back and tell them about themselves and engage. Keep it cute and keep it movin’!
[–]woiashenseeaFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
GIRL I LOVE THE WAY U PHRASED IT
"Make the noises" lmfao but you're FUCKING RIGHT 💯❗ ugh I needed this exact comment today, that is blessed so thank u
[–]surviveIIthriveFDS Apprentice1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Glad to help! ;)
[–]NovemberinthechairFDS Apprentice3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
This has been my experience with my female pickmeshia cousins. I'm done.
[–]surviveIIthriveFDS Apprentice2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah I went through it with my younger sisters for years! We don’t even talk anymore. But I realized that whole time they thought I was pathetic and lonely. They loved the attention and being able to vent to me whenever they wanted but as far as my perspective they just ignored it. I realized that they loved the drama! They loved the worried attention from me. They loved the hectic lifestyle, which was completely opposite my lifestyle. It took me years to realize that I was the fool not them!
Ultimately, it’s about minding our own business. It’s so freeing!
[–]woiashenseeaFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Bruh she was dead-on about the side effects of not coddling men. Can't even add to it tbh
Edited to add!! For shits and giggles, she mentions "always offended" and "walk on eggshells," but have you heard of:
too sensitive
prone to miscommunication
misinterpreting things
not listening right
lying
causing drama
being cRaZy
[–]sarahbae03FDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Oof. I'm going to have to sit on for a while and ruminate. Thank you for pointing this out.
[–]AntiCirclesFDS Newbie[S] 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Sending peaceful thoughts your way :)
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[–]Ka_Tetof99FDS Newbie37 points38 points39 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Bitemebitch00FDS Apprentice26 points27 points28 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]2340000FDS Disciple20 points21 points22 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]dzgataFDS Apprentice26 points27 points28 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]woiashenseeaFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]surviveIIthriveFDS Apprentice8 points9 points10 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]woiashenseeaFDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]surviveIIthriveFDS Apprentice1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]NovemberinthechairFDS Apprentice3 points4 points5 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]surviveIIthriveFDS Apprentice2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]woiashenseeaFDS Newbie5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]sarahbae03FDS Newbie3 points4 points5 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]AntiCirclesFDS Newbie[S] 2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link