I can't listen to sad songs anymore—written by anyone—but particularly women. I'm aware that most breakup songs are about scrotes, and I can't help but think about how much time we waste crying and being sad about them. But I find that women aren't used to seeing us thrive out and about. They used to tell us to smile more, but women who walk with confidence are negged until they lose their power, or they are so discouraged that they stop leaving the house.

When I listen to empowering pop by female artists, I realize how original it is, how even I'm not used to hearing how a woman can pay her own rent, buy her own home, and live independently. I wait for the other shoe to drop, when she says she also has sex with however many men she pleases. Nowadays, to my relief, that's less common—women are generally fed up and starting to write a new narrative about how good life can be for us.

But I go online, and each day there is new suffering. In movies and shows, women experience trauma regularly. So many plot arcs are about sexual and childhood trauma caused by men, or husbands who gamble away their futures. Articles all over the internet are about women going missing, being sold into slavery, being murdered by their lovers. I wonder what would happen if we stopped singing breakup songs, posting online about bad dates, and broadcasting male depravity to the world. Men are exposed to female pain and suffering each day online and still create and seek out r*pe and gore porn.

It's amazing to me that even with rampant domestic violence, femicide, catcalling, sexual harassment, sexual assault, and women crying in the media, men still think there is a dearth of female suffering.