Q4W: Does regret change your behavior?

CatchPhraze · 2022-02-15T22:25:35+00:00

How did video guy hamster " regret seems to not directly correlate to a change in behavior for either men or woman in the students we polled"

As making woman look bad? Good intentions and regret has shown to almost never shift behavior patterns across any form of behavior like eatting habits or gambling.

Nothing about this should surprise anyone and it's certainly not female centric.

Potential_Respond224 · 2022-02-15T21:27:21+00:00

I've never cheated. I've never dipped a toe into the pond adjacent to cheating. I want my partner to feel complete loyalty and love. I don't think any of my friends have told me they have cheated which seems insane. I know women and men cheat in about equal numbers. I think it's not the kind of thing you disclose to friends. IDK. I wouldn't do it. Not worth the stress baby!!!

HOWEVER

all my exes still sent me sexy chats and I did on occasion entertain them pre-pandemic until i retired from men and I didn't feel guilty about it bc that's their karma not mine (they all left me for other women they are still with).

lonely_mixtape · 2022-02-15T23:28:40+00:00

It's an interesting video. I didn't read the study thing, so I don't know if they did the same thing with men and got different results or if they were the same too. It doesn't suprise me. People tend to repeat their mistakes all the way up until they have actual tangible consequences.

I feel like this behaviour and phenomenon applies to almost everything. The first time I smoked a cigarette I was very regretful. I still did it again, and again, again, each time caring less and less and less. Same with any other vice such as porn or alcohol. Even if I regret it, the pleasure draws me back in, and because I'm not noticing any immediate consequences, I lose that sense of regret as time goes on. I imagine casual sex would be the same way, even though I've never done it before.

The only things that triggers any real change is when I hit that realization of where my life is going. The motivation to do better doesn't come from regret, rather it comes from a desire for something more fulfilling. I stopped smoking when I realized I didn't want a life struggling with addiction. It wasn't regret, it was because I had wanted something better for myself.

I think this is very human behaviour and I find, in general, regret not to be a very powerful motivator. I agree with his very last point. Judge change by actions. When I quit smoking, I changed my lifestyle and the people I was around. I made changes and stuck with it. If I was saying "I used to smoke, but I really regret it" and I had just smoked a pack last week, there would be no real change. Maybe I do genuinely feel the regret, but I'm still going back to it. I wouldn't blame people for doubting me on my ability to stay clean.

I think that bit of judging by actions applies to everyone though, not just women. (I used smoking as an example because it's a regretful action in my own life that I felt could be provide some sort of comparison. I don't do casual sex so I can't directly speak to that)

HonestCrow · 2022-02-15T23:06:24+00:00

So I watched the video, and I’ll leave just two criticisms. 1) Like many laypeople, Mr. Grace interprets and generalizes the findings in such a way that no serious social scientist (at least one not trying to publicize a new book) would do. What he does get most correct is his statement about science being at its best where it shows us the limits of our knowledge. By example, 2) an equally reasonable interpretation of the data is that 4 1/2 months (T1 to T2) isn’t a large enough time span to see a difference in behaviour. I haven’t looked at the study itself yet, but that seems an entirely consistent and realistic result to arrive at given my experience working with clients on other life areas.

The study may be well done and interesting, but Mr. Grace is almost certainly overstating the implications.

gimpgirl555 · 2022-02-15T21:38:21+00:00

Does the above match what you see in women around you? If not, what's wrong about it?

First of all: I married the first man that I had sex with.

Second: I don't have time to read the study.

My theory: women see the carousel as a lottery: "if I ride long enough, I will eventually get Chad".

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42nanaimobars · 2022-02-15T22:57:47+00:00

I just saw the topic of regret and had to post this:

https://youtu.be/9bmxSt4xcGw

Sorry for being half off topic, but I’ve already mentioned the movie to you before. I couldn’t resist sharing the link.

RealNiceLady · 2022-02-16T19:09:53+00:00

2022-02-16T21:33:07+00:00

I mean, I would've liked the women to have been able to explain what about the experience they regretted. Do they regret it because casual sex is shameful? Do they regret it because the sex was terrible? lol

Title	Q4W: Does regret change your behavior?
Author	logiauser
Upvotes	8
Comments	47
Date	February 15, 2022 9:12 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/stdihc/q4w_does_regret_change_your_behavior/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4w-does-regret-change-your-behavior.1102114 https://theredarchive.com/post/1102114

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