Asking for advice.

All_Lurk_No_Post365 · 2021-02-20T08:04:42+00:00

If you're on meds I assume you're already in therapy so that part is handled. I suggest you focus on finding activities to do that involve socializing with people and building from there. Second if your body is worn out try some self care and also try eating healthier and going for walks daily that will work wonders. Also please don't morph yourself into what each guy wants, I'm a guy trying to stop doing the same when going after women so I know where you're coming from no judgement from me.

spotted_kat · 2021-02-20T12:00:36+00:00

It’s hard to be authentic if you don’t know who you are or what you want. You are in the age bracket where a lot of that self discovery happens, and it may mean you spend time “trying on” different interests, ideas, ways of being until you find what fits for you. This can manifest itself in healthy ways and not so healthy ways. It sounds like you acknowledge you don’t have a grounded sense of self to bring into romantic relationships, so maybe the starting point for you is to develop and refine more of what’s unique and core to YOU. What are your aspirations? What vision do you have for your life? What are your hobbies? What skills would you like to develop? Very generally speaking these don’t change based on the men you date (although may influence and show you) unless you have a very codependent attachment style and that is a separate issue you will want to work through if it’s true for you. You don’t have to know the answers to those questions (give yourself permission not to!) but have a general sense of what you want to explore to find out the answer in the long run is helpful. Journaling, writing and treating everyday as a new source of information and clues for your journey of self discovery helps!

Feelings are just messengers, and so it helps to remember whether they’re anxious ones or depressed ones that they’re just trying to tell you something. It is good to practice tolerance of negative emotions whether there yours or others. Accept them, acknowledge them, ask yourself how those feelings are impacting your thoughts, and IF you rationally agree with with those thoughts, (you don’t have to agree with how you feel or the all the thoughts you have), this is the basis of all cognitive behavioral therapy) and go through your day accepting that these negative emotions may tag along but at some point will usually fall away.

Anxiety is usually fear and insecurity based, how well do you understand what is causing those emotions for you and why? It’s hard to manage them (whether you take medication or not) without exploring them so hopefully you are doing that work with your therapist. For some people, coping and managing their anxiety is a lifelong skill worth pursuing.

Depression is usually life’s way of telling you you’re not content with the quality of your life, that could be your environment, your achievements/pursuits or your relationships. Give yourself permission to build your life, you are still working towards what you want and you’ll get there. Medication, exercise and behavioral interventions are usually the path out but this is really something to explore with your therapist as there’s just not enough information in your post to guide you. We also don’t know what the quality of your relationships with others, family and friends are like.

Lastly, treat yourself like someone you care about. Make a commitment that everyday you will prioritize your well being. That may mean ensuring you go through a check-list of self-care: - wash your face, eat food that will give you energy, get dressed and do your hair and make up, go for a daily walk, take your medications, write in your journal for 30 minutes, clean your room, hang up your laundry, do one friendship or socially related thing. Don’t neglect this regardless of how you feel. It’s okay to struggle and have imperfect days. Have a check list for migraine days, and do your best to cope and manage and take care of yourself when those days happen. Respect yourself and your limitations on those days.

paradigmarson · 2021-02-21T02:18:16+00:00

I think it would be good if you could try and discover a core identity you can keep stable, and then other bits of your identity you could adopt as 'this is my thing at the moment, I'll try and stick with it as long as possible'.

It sounds like you've got a pretty decent idea of what men want and different types of men and women. Don't let anyone replace this with goody-two-shoes stuff. Sex kitten vs tradcon housewife is a good dichotomy, also look into K-strategist vs. r-strategist. I expect you find yourself being more tradcon for the gentler, more pro-social guys, and more sex kittenny for the alpha business cats etc. guys? Changing yourself for men is a normal female strategy and probably helps. However if you're changing your relationships lots then it could be destabilizing.

I think it would make sense for you to continue to consume the highest quality red pill and pickup content (stick to high-status and high-vibe stuff, look for markers of social class, good genes, intelligence and positivity -- no incel-adjacent chump shit for low-functioning autism lol). Also look into evolutionary psychology and check out Ed Dutton on YouTube. You should try and understand life and sexual strategy ASAP while you're young because you'll be undesirable when you're in your 30's. You should try and get the best possible man and make babies while you're in your prime because using your now-rapidly-fading (at 21) youthful beauty will get you a better man. 21 is optimal; it's all downhill from there. By 30, you will be significantly less attractive and more messed up. Make sure to date lots of men, but don't fuck them -- the more you fuck, the more fucked up you get. Women lose the ability to pair-bond with every new partner. Going through lots of relationships takes its toll. Also, men become less interested.

You'll want to figure out whether you want to chase the best sperm, trade up for better partners, keep beta cucks and extract resources from them, etc; or if you want to do the tradcon thing. They're basically incompatible, although it is possible to find like a billionaire and be one of his harem quasi-concubines; this might secure a very very high quality man with good genes and these kinds of men are often able to take care of multiple women. Andrew Henderson (Nomad Capitalist) is an attractive and wealthy man with multiple homes all over the world on YouTube -- there are lots of men like this and I think some of them are poly. Poly only makes sense if you're getting the very best seed, otherwise it's trash. Avoid BDSM like the plague; it's set up to take nice girls like you and turn you into slaves for the most unworthy otherwise failed r-strategists, psycho losers who should have slipped down their mother's leg. If you're going to do r-strategy, learn to discern for the best men -- successful alpha-males who can take care of others, not mere psychos.

If tradcon feels right to you, you could stay especially pure and go for it fully. See Mrs. Midwest on YouTube for inspo. It sounds to me like you're not a full-blown tradcon, but it might be worth incorporating tradcon elements and avoiding pointless relationships. Being a caring, nurturing housewife is a great way to offer value to a man and there's no reason you shouldn't do it -- just make sure you get a worthy man and don't become a tragedy falling for a male-centric discourse. Tradcon is basically an ideology invented by beta males to control women's sex and make sure they can pass on their (mediocre but at least pro-social) genes. It keeps civilization ticking over, it keeps pro-social men reproducing for civilization, it keeps men from killing each other... but it isn't the most... intelligence-selecting, stability-selecting, you get what I'm pointing at, of... selection régimes. This is esoteric / compressed / encrypted stuff, make sure you can undress it because the edgiest things are unsayable (indeed, most of this post I couldn't write elsewhere). Tradcon can also elevate fertility these days since r-strategy sometimes results in contraception or what I call retard sex. It's retarded because it's completely maladaptive and missing the point.

That gives me a thought: maybe you're just very well-adapted and want the best seed, and you're only attracted to tradcon because you want to settle down and have babies. Also neuroticism is pretty normal for young women so you might well not be BPD-leaning at all. Either way, figure out what you want to do. It's likely you should be trying to have babies. I know this is repeating but do try and do that young. You're at peak and it's all downhill from here. The older you get, the more messed up you get. You should use your maternal instincts and youthful energy to have as many babies you can. Life for women is not about career, well done for being both smart enough AND instinctive enough (so low in mutational load, a very important aspect of genetic quality) to figure this out relatively young. In the West contemporary ideology is scrambling the minds of intelligent young people, reducing their instinctiveness and inserting maladaptive stuff to make them not have babies. Make sure you're avoiding blue-pilled goody-goody nonsense and even more importantly, make sure that the red-pilled naughty stuff is the quality stuff for people of your IQ level and General Factor of Personality (GFP) level, and not the vulgar forms of The Right. The Right is little/no better than the Left most of the time; it tends to just be a reactive knee-jerk hissey fit from unfashionable, low-status, low-IQ low-GFP people. You need to transcend both. Avoid excessively political content; that's for losers to express, but not heal, their maladaptive loser issues. Only listen to / read content that's 100% grass-fed. Also prefer Amazon to YouTube. And if any of the scientific terms I've mentioned here are unfamiliar, look them up (Wikipedia will do): this will get you attracted to and able to have fun with the useful, intelligent discourses that will help you.

Also be warned that this comes from my consumption of red pilled content as an exceptionally high-IQ and honest, but isolated loser (I'm doing this as a charitable service towards other people with good genes, and to improve my own clarity so I can become successful). It hasn't been verified by experience; it comes from having a very clean information diet and the kind of tough-mindedness and non-defensiveness that lets me suggest things that would be deeply offended to most men, but I can say and feel comfortable with because I'm operating on a completely savage and heartless red-pilled paradigm. Probably better than most Internet advice you'll get, but it would be better still to pay for a consultation with some Jew like Rian Stone / 4R Consulting, love that guy (make sure to listen to some rabbis too, those guys really know their stuff, but of course be aware it's often tradconny as with Christianity so be aware of the dangers of that). Actually, you might be able to get advice for free if you go on his channel, hit him up and talk to him.

Sorry, I didn't understand the bit where you said something was your responsibility since you go to uni... what's your responsibility, being the independent cool girl and high achiever? If this is what you mean that sounds fair enough. I mean uni's an unusual opportunity to get socially skilled, well-connected and achieve stuff for career and status (even if that isn't your preferred direction) so I think you might as well make use of these oppprtunities to build resources while you're there. The upside of being educated and connected as a woman is it gives you high standards, useful for chasing the best seed (fast life history, r-strategy). The downside is that it can increase your standards so high it makes it harder to form relationships and destabilise relationships since you expect men to be as high-status as you or better -- this interferes with K-strategy. The good news is that the red pill teaches us that you can always get a beta cuckold / sugar daddy / alimony benefactor / government handouts and get the better seed from more attractive men. Some people might think this is unethical -- myself, I haven't made my mind up. Selection pressures for desirable traits are very important!

Notes to make sure I'm reading and responding relevantly and addressing what you've actually written rather than BPD-sperging off with my own trauma:

down failed relationships body worn out school anxiety meds migraines unablanced mentally trying for success and coolness at uni, feels crappier homey traddy what's your responsibility? changes herself to get men to like her sex kitten vs sweet virginal mirrors interests disrtorting self-image

TranslatedSky · 2021-02-21T10:02:32+00:00

Read or google the summary for The Six Pillars of Self Esteem. It’s not necessarily that you don’t have a core personality, rather you may have issues with self esteem that you try to fill with validation from male figures. The ability to be authentic requires being comfortable with yourself, so your focus should be on building self esteem.

Title	Asking for advice.
Author	softshadesofcream
Upvotes	6
Comments	8
Date	February 20, 2021 4:11 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/lnyv4h/asking_for_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/asking-for-advice.747998 https://theredarchive.com/post/747998

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