Boyfriend Update

HappilyMrs · 2021-09-03T18:28:55+00:00

Therapy for you, and a talk with his doctor for him to get help with his drinking and underlying mental health?

Ethman2k9 · 2021-09-03T18:53:51+00:00

Agreed. Therapy can help you. Alcoholism is genetic, you either have the gene or you don’t. Not that everyone with the gene will be an alcoholic but for many people it’s not nearly the same risk it likely was for your father. You’re right, it isn’t fair to judge him based on your past experiences. Have him talk to someone, help him through his work stress and the alcohol will likely take care of itself.

DelicateDevelopment · 2021-09-03T23:51:44+00:00

If you want to go through that with him, then I would suggest what I wrote below. Give yourself some days to process the shock before you make a decisions. You will need that time to sort yourself and know what you want to do.

Read about co-dependence and how it starts. You already had the attitude of acting overly motherly with respect to points where he did not take care of himself.

Stop that. Step back and give him the space he needs to get back on his feet. You can only keep him company and believe in him while he is on his way. Try to take as good care of yourself as possible. He will thank you later that he did not additionally drag you down as well. He will be happy to see that you continue a good path. It will also inspire him to sort things out.

Don't take over any responsibilty for what he does by nagging or telling him what you think he should do. He has to that himself, knowing that you are caring about yourself so that he can fully concentrate on whatever he needs to go through.

We cannot save people we can only stay in their reach and be empathic and non-judgemental with the darkness that they are going through.

But this will be his anchor and this will give him the strength and safety that he needs to get back on his feet. But by all means don't provide advice, don't preach. Women cannot help men by preaching! That weakens them because it erodes their ability to take charge. See how the female "helping" attitude is related to co-dependence and can actually make things worse.

Cook for him whenever you can, preferably fatty meat, liver, plenty of eggs, also raw in a cup of milk and a tiny heap of sugar, heavy healthy stuff, bone broth, but few to no carbs.

Add B Vitamins, particularly Niacin, Thiamine, Zinc. Understand that if he is eating mostly crappy fast food, then despite the weight his body is in a state of hunger and nutrient deficiency (because fast food is not food!), but if he then feeds this hunger with fast food it just continues the process. This is why it happens often to people who work a lot and then don't find time to meal prep and ressort to fast food.

There is a strong relation between niacin, eating disorders (overeating!) and addiction. B Vitamins are also used when people go through withdrawal because the alcohol drains the body of vitamins and leads to people feeling worse and makes it more difficult to quit that habit.

The body needs Thiamine and Zinc to process alcohol and sugar (all types of sugar, chemically alcohol is also a type of sugar).

thornsandlace · 2021-09-04T03:33:24+00:00

I would encourage you to find an Al-Anon group for yourself. Their meetings were instrumental in helping me handle my father’s (and my ex’s) addictions. Nowadays you can even find discord or zoom meetings. Having the support of people who’ve been there can make all the difference for your ability to handle a difficult situation.

Title	Boyfriend Update
Author	saltlamp67
Upvotes	6
Comments	12
Date	September 3, 2021 5:48 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/pha61p/boyfriend_update/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/boyfriend-update.1067076 https://theredarchive.com/post/1067076

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