The definition of Power is not financial success, status or influence over others, but the degree to which we have control over our own lives. - Rollo Tomassi

Power. Influence. Control. The ability to determine the direction of one’s own life is the source of constant struggle and distress. Some people are plagued by constant procrastination. Inability to focus. Constant fatigue. Others hurl blame at “the man”. Power is the reason people in society are obsessed with money. Money buys flexibility and flexibility (or “the degree to which we have control over our own lives”) is the core of power.

“I wanna stay broke forever, yeah that’s that shit no-one’s ever said.” - G-Eazy

However, people make the mistake of assuming the money is the only way to gain flexibility/power. You can also exercise control over your internal state, and how you react to external stimuli. To have power over one’s own life, you need to gain control of the things that motivate you, both internally and externally. Internal motivators can be described at inherent responses (based around neurotransmitters) to certain stimuli. External motivators can be described as a learned motivation to adhere to societies expectations of us. Call it agency, power, control, or whatever you like. Mastering your internal and external motivators will allow you to live the life that you choose.

Internal Motivators:

I could write pages about this, but seriously, just read this:

http://archive.is/EDMM3

External Motivators:

For this section, I will rely heavily on “The Manipulated Man”. All quotes in this section are from Esther Vila’s book. It Is a core text, and one that unapologetically calls out the widespread manipulation that has occurred to men, beginning almost from birth. Central to this text is the idea that men have been conditioned to work for and pedestalize a womens praise.

“One of the most useful factors in the conditioning of a man is praise. Its effect is better and much more lasting than say, sex, as it may be continued throughout a man's life”... The moment a male child has been rewarded by a warm smile and by the customary inane kind of encouraging adult baby talk for using his pot and not wetting his bed, or for drinking the last drop in his bottle, he is caught up in a vicious circle. He will repeat the actions which called forth praise and endearments and, if at any time recognition is not granted, he will do everything in his power to regain it. The happiness he feels when praise is restored will already have assumed the proportions of an addiction.

Indeed, look at which sex fills the clear majority of child-rearing professions. Nannies, pre-school teachers, stay-at-home-parents. These children, and men in particular, are constantly told that to succeed, they have to listen to and please their teacher, their nanny, or their parent. And which parent are they most frequently around?

Even marriage is an extension of this concept. As Esther Vila puts it in “The Manipulated Man”:

“With his many gifts man would appear to be ideally suited, both mentally and physical, to lead a life both fulfilled and free. Instead he chooses to become a slave… at the service of `mankind', man's own synonym for women, and of the children of these women…

If a young man gets married, and starts a family and spends the rest of his life working at a soul-destroying job, he is held up as an example of virtue and responsibility. The other type of man, living only for himself, working only for himself, doing first one thing and then another simply because he enjoys it and because he has to keep only himself, sleeping where and when he wants, and facing woman when he meets her on equal terms and not as one of a million slaves, is rejected by society The free, unshackled man has no place in its midst.”

(If you are concerned about finding “The One”, and fear that she may slip through your fingers, read The Rational Man by Rollo Tomassi. There is no one, and clinging onto one women because you fear you won’t find another women makes you near powerless.)

What if we were to remove our desire for approval from women and society as a whole? What if we were to free ourselves from these societal external motivators? And what if we could free our minds from the grip of dopamine addiction? Well, then we could regain control over our own lives. We could seek out activities for their own rewards, instead of the rewards society tells we should seek. We could regain power over ourselves, and become the arbiters of our own future.

Source articles/Required Reading:

It's All Dopamine:

http://archive.is/EDMM3

Screw motivation, You Need Discipline!:

http://archive.is/ipduj

The Manipulated Man – Esther Vila

The Rational Man