Creating shifts in behavior over a long time ultimately requires discipline. People loathe change. Change, consequently, takes energy, especially in the early stages.

Most people turn to motivation in the beginning, but this energy is inherently fleeting. Like a match, it ignites a short fire of inspiration however, this abruptly comes to end, if not supported with systems (and eventually reinforced with core values/beliefs) and a strong inner dialogue.

As Jocko Willink elaborates on in his latest work, Discipline Equals Freedom, a good mental model to adopt in the face of adversity includes both logic and emotional anchors.

Constantly, in the pursuit of excellence, we are forced with distractions and the opportunity to take the easy road. Sometimes we are exhausted, emotionally drained and unable to muster the passion to pursue the activity we know will take us closer to the person we ultimately aspire to be. For instance, instead of going to the gym to improve our health and aesthetics, we will convince ourselves that we are happy the way we are and that women should accept us for our flaws.

The same is true from the logical perspective. When the going gets tough, our minds betray us and lead us to backwards rationalize unacceptable behavior. A common is example is the rationalization against approaching a woman or going out with the intent to do so. Even though we’ve been fantasizing all week about going out and meeting girls on the weekend, we’ll convince ourselves that women are too much work or, even if we went out and approached them, they wouldn’t want us anyways.

These shortcomings of both logic and emotion are inevitable. Therefore, it is of utmost importance to use these two tools in unison. Together, they must reinforce and back each other up.

When the mind starts to rationalize poor logical behavior, you should turn to emotion to remind you to shut the fuck up and do it anyways, because you’re tired of being an authentic loser. Logic can save the day when you’re too tired to continue on, providing you with reasons why your excuses are not rooted in reality and that many people have overcome situations way more dire than your current state.

Together, logic and emotion can be used as a secret weapon to keep you disciplined on the path to success. When shit inevitably gets hard and you want to tap out, turn to each or both to keep your head down and grind.

I recommend writing out the goal you want to achieve (e.g., get into the best shape of your life, build a harem of beautiful women, build a side hustle that will help you quit your shit job, etc) and writing statements of logic and emotion that speak to WHY you want to accomplish it. You must internalize these statements, so that they can be quickly recalled in moments of weakness.

In the same vein, I think it is beneficial to document the likely backwards rationalizations and negative emotions you will experience in moments of despair. By writing them down, you diminish their power and influence over you. This may sound nebulous, so I will elaborate with an example below:

GOAL: Build a harem of 3-4 plates

POSITIVE, ACTION INDUCING LOGIC:

  • Women can complement and enhance your life
  • Sex is the ultimate fuel for confidence; having it consistently will trickle down into all areas of your life (especially when having it with a variety of women
  • Rejection is often overblown in your inner dialogue and honestly doesn’t happen as much as you’d think
  • Meeting new people is ultimately energizing and will pay dividends later in life
  • The anxiety of approaching girls is only temporary, like the shock of cold water; your body adjusts quickly
  • I am a man, women like men
  • I am a badass who genuinely brings value to women, make them better than I found them
  • I am a masculine, successful, handsome man with a lot to offer, women are always looking for men like me

NEGATIVE LOGIC (shit I refuse to let myself rationalize):

  • I am self-sufficient and dependent; I don’t need women
  • Women are not worth the initial work
  • Once I have <insert excuse here>, I will start approaching more women
  • Attractive women don’t like me because of <insert excuse here>

POSITIVE, ACTION INDUCING EMOTION:

  • I am tired of being a fraud who lies to himself about my desires and sabotages himself by not doing what I truly want to do
  • I hate the feeling of loneliness and lack of companionship associated with being woman-less
  • If I want to be the best version I can be of myself, the most confident, I need to get out there and practice this skill of seduction and relationship building
  • I can’t respect myself if I constantly behave inauthentically

NEGATIVE LOGIC (shit I refuse to let myself feel):

  • I am not enough, I will never be enough to attractive women
  • Approaching women is creepy, no natural
  • It’s not worth the emotional investment rollercoaster to begin relationships with women
  • I am too tired to invest energy into developing this skill

When you start to rationalize that women aren’t worth the work or that you’ll start day gaming when you move into your apartment and not right now, you need to turn to emotion. Remind yourself how you wouldn’t be making progress towards being the most attractive, best version of yourself if you didn’t go out and meet women.

If you start to feel like you’re not enough or that approaching women is weird or that they don’t want to be approached, buck up and remind yourself that you’re a man who is fucking awesome. You’re going to make some woman’s day by hitting on her, you could even change her life.

Tl;dr Use BOTH logic and emotional anchors to reinforce discipline in times of weakness. When one breaks down, have the other on speed dial to kick you in the ass and keep you moving forward.