I was debating with a friend recently about whether it’s better to say more in a conversion or less. He argued that you should definitely say more and that you should speak your mind a lot. But then, I picked up the book The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene and in Law 4, he says “Always speak less than necessary”.

Below are the 5 reasons you should speak less than necessary (please note that this is from a recent YT video of mine, I’ll put the link below for those interested).

1. You risk saying something foolish or offensive

The author starts off by saying that “when you are trying to impress people with words, the more you say, the more common you appear, and the less in control. The more you say, the more likely you are to say something foolish.”

Why risk saying something stupid and lose the respect others hold for you. Remember it takes months, even years to build a home, and only one day to destroy it. You can’t take back your words.

Once you have offended or made a fool of yourself, you can’t take it back. Words are nothing but symbols to relay your own thoughts into others. Simply put, you only say what you think. Once you say something offensive or stupid it's hard to argue you didn’t mean it or that's not what you think.

2. The more you speak the more common you appear

Do you know why diamonds or gold are so admired? They’re just rocks, they don’t have any intrinsic value to them. But what makes them valuable is their scarcity.

Prehistoric people didn’t care about gold, it didn’t help them in any way. But in our times, gold has value because it is rare.

So what do you do with this information? Well your words can be like gold. But only if you restrict what you say and what you say is valuable. Make people interested, but don’t tell them too much.

It’s like a hook, they have to be wanting to know more about what you have to say. So make sure that what you’re saying is concise and brings actual value to your audience. Only then, your words will be like gold.

3. Make people reveal more about themselves

Listen. Just listen. Everybody wants to talk. If you ever want to be effective at reading and influencing people, if you just want to improve your social skills; just listen.

Don’t think about what you should say next or decide to talk more. When you stop talking something amazing happens, the other person starts to talk. Sometimes I do this on purpose, I will just stop talking because I’m comfortable with silence, and funny enough, most of the time the other person fills in the blank.

Now you can know all the person's thoughts and emotions, what makes them tick. Effective leaders, smart entrepreneurs, and clever politicians always listen.

4. People interpret your words very carefully.

The less you speak the more attention people pay to your words. They have to interpret the meaning for themselves. By being vague and open ended, others will attribute their own thoughts to you. It’s actually something in psychology that we call projection. By speaking in vague terms, a person will just project their beliefs onto you, making you a more relatable figure to them.

5. The harder it is to deceive you.

How can you lure someone with what they want, if you don't know what they want. I’ll give you a quick story about King Louis XIV who was a man of few words and so no one knew how to influence him. All he would ever say was, “ We shall see.” This made him impossible to manipulate. When constructing arguments to present to the king for new policies, his subjects would go crazy stressing out on how to persuade him. And so that made him powerful for not being naive and influenced by what others say to him.

So whether you have ambitions to gain power in your career, you want to be an effective leader, or you wish to be more sociable in general. Always say less than necessary. By doing so you unlock another key to power.

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I explain this concept in depth and talk about a couple of examples with a clip from Peaky Blinders here - https://youtu.be/aY_x5vdfzB8