I recently solidified a long-term theory of mine. I call it Computer Toucher Disease, and it holds back a massive portion of young men raised with the internet and our broader audience.

The Cause

Instead of actual social interaction, you get all or the majority of your interaction through social media, forums, and multiplayer video games. Moreover, you expose yourself to an endless series of ideas with no real original thought about who you are as a person. You are a mosaic of others' ideas, or worse, memes (short quippy nonsense).

This is less than a substitute - it causes active degradation of you as a man if left unchecked.

Let's be clear - moderate use of these platforms is no issue. Computer touchers rely on those platforms for BOTH quasi-social interaction and reinforcement of their false sense of self.

The Symptoms

This takes on several forms - but the consequence is always the same:

An imaginary version of yourself is created, and that imaginary self is disconnected from your actual self.

But when you go try to be that person who exists in your head, you're socially off-putting, silent, or anxiety ridden. Worse, you might not go out at all for fear of disrupting your self image.

Computer touchers develop either gigantic egos or horrific anxiety. Oddly, sometimes both! We will get into comorbidities later.

After his ego is damaged (or anxiety spikes) by in-person social interaction, the computer toucher then hamsters his way back into thinking:

  • He's better than other people (who are inferior, stupid, or just "don't get it")

and/or

  • Better than he is in real life (the imaginary provides comfort against a harsher reality)

No ACTUAL work required, because obviously you're the master race or going to be famous on instagram, or you can just b urself.

The Archetypes (core disorder(s) in parentheses)

  • The Perfectionist (Ego/Anxiety)

The Perfectionist procrastinates and fails to improve by believing that unless they can do anything at the highest level, it's either not worth doing or "they're not ready".

This type will enter "monk mode" (I hate monk mode) and use it as an excuse not to talk to women. They will go to the gym and quit because they aren't instantly benching 2 plates. They have a series of interests, hobbies, or potential professions that they talk about as if they are pursuing, but actually just have surface level knowledge hoping for ego validation.

The Perfectionist computer touches for more external information hoping for a magic pussy password, the one trick that makes them a good coder / lawyer / doctor / bodybuilder, instead of understanding that everyone they see at the top of said mountain put in the work.

Put in the work, Perfectionist. Failure is OK and necessary. Think horizontally, not vertically and try things out until one you're willing to suck at sticks.

Comorbid with The Comparison Trap.

  • The Comparison Trap (Anxiety)

The Comparison Trap sees the top of the mountain and becomes discouraged because either they aren't already there, or believes (often correctly) said top of mountain is unachievable for them. In the worst cases, the trapper may actively speak out against the top of the mountain as something that is "morally wrong".

Compare yourself only to yourself, Trapper. Treat those better than you as inspiration, not a source of discouragement. Look in the mirror and figure out what positive things you can say to that guy.

Comorbid with The Perfectionist and The LARP.

  • The Puritan/Moralizer (Ego)

The Puritan has a series of false moral values they either don't actually believe, or are simply a regurgitation of what they've read elsewhere.

Like the worst of women's dating app profiles, they assemble giant lists of what they need out of life, women, or friends that is unachievable. Worse, the Puritan's arbitrary "requirements" are typically based in straight up incorrect or impractical beliefs about others, like the false belief that all women under 25 have fucked 100 men or he doesn't need to be the outreach to make a real friend.

The Puritan, because he refuses to inspect his own flaws, expects or hopes for a flawless companion in life or love. The Puritan is socially annoying because he won't shut the fuck up about what he "believes".

Puritan, go outside and see how real life compares to your beliefs. You're probably wrong. Understand your flaws, improve where you can, and get comfortable with grey areas of life. EARN YOUR RIGHTEOUSNESS.

Comorbid with The Commodifier and The Perfectionist.

  • The Commodifier (Ego, Indifference)

The Commodifier thinks that everyone and everything is replaceable. He treats people like objects with no regard for their individuality, despite being adamant about his own.

The Commodifier fucks up friendships and relationships alike - much like the worst of women, once the other person does something he doesn't like, or even slightly distasteful, he HARD NEXTS THEM ALL BRO.

The Commodifier is a terrible listener with relatively little interest in people.

Commodifier, consider that others have given you a chance after a bad impression. Standards can be unreasonable - consider what your actual minimums are and let others who meet the minimum show you what else they've got. Then decide.

Comorbid with The Puritan

  • The Racist (Ego)

The Racist is almost always computer touching on 4chan, stormfront, and other hubs of online racist thought.

The Racist is either a gigantic pussy or bold enough to express racism in small groups. I would argue silently seething is a slightly better look than doing some edgy racism in public, but they're both a really, really bad look.

The Outward Racist, like the worst of women, believes he was born with a badge of respect / honor / value. The pussy racist wonders why people don't like him, the bold racist goes out of his way to MAKE people not like him. Both justify this nonsense with ingroup/outgroup fallacy - dividing people up and seeking or keeping only those that agree with pre-determined beliefs.

The Inward Racist flips these ideas and uses his race as an excuse to give up, or idolize what he is not.

Racists - you need to gather in-person anecdotal evidence. Understand you, despite believing you know "the truth", have simply adopted someone else's ideas. They can be unwrought the way they were wrought.

Comorbid with the Puritan, The Superiority Complex.

  • The Superiority Complex (Ego)

A special snowflake, the Superiority Complex believes nearly everyone else is stupid or inferior.

Complexers fail to understand that they dumb everything down to fit their beliefs. Their language is snark and sarcasm. They fail to see the irony in their incredibly poor communication skills. If they were so good, why are they so misunderstood?

Complexer, competition is masculinity. Go test out your might, your mental mettle. You need some losses in competition to gain the perspective required to beat your symptoms.

Comorbid with The Perfectionist, The Racist, The Puritan.

  • The LARP (Ego/Anxiety/Indifference)

This applies to the vast majority of computer touchers. The LARP likes to give advice about things he doesn't know about. The LARP prefers the idea of himself to the reality.

The LARP is utterly addicted to the external validation of someone who can't see him listening to or agreeing with him.

The LARP is and would be immediately exposed by some basic lines of questioning from a person who understands the topic he is LARPing about.

Seriously, stop LARPing. It's the worst. No specific advice required, just don't.

Comorbid with all.

The Fundamental Computer Toucher Cycle

  1. Do something harmful to the self (active or passive, e.g. be openly racist or do nothing at all)

  2. Feel negative feelings about the harmful thing

  3. Computer touch them away instead of self reflection (e.g. go to imright.com and read about why white people are superior, or go voyeur on others' lives and imagine yourself as them)

  4. Go to (1)

Conclusion

  • If any of these sound like you, it's time to look in the mirror

  • The same things that breed self harm also create a need to solve the negative emotion

  • Reality is always in front of you, and you can always conceptualize it - running away to the computer won't make it go away

  • Everything you want to be is the product of hard work. You weren't born with shit.

If you let someone else's ideas become the basis for who you "are", you will be mediocre at best.