Those of you who've seen some of my other posts recently perhaps have read that I have issues maintaining frame with the women in my family (mom, sister, grandma, wife; though I'm actually doing better with my wife than anyone at this point).

Tonight, my mom wanted to tell me on the phone something about my cousins who I am close to without me telling them. She wanted me to commit to not saying anything to them, without knowing what she was going to say. My understanding of it was that she didn't want them to know what she thought about a certain issue going on in their side of the family, but wanted to get it off her chest and tell me.

I decided that I wasn't going to commit to that. So I told her she could tell me and then I'd decide if it was something I could keep to myself with integrity or if I felt like I'd have to tell them. She didn't say anything for almost a minute, so I asked if she was still there. She said yes, but that she didn't think she had anything to say if I wouldn't commit to keeping it to myself BEFORE she told me (like taking a job without knowing what it is?). So I just simply said ok that's fine, talk to you later, and I got off the phone without getting mad.

My rationale was the following: why should I commit to something I don't know what I'm getting into? What benefit was there to me? She wanted to use me as her girlfriend to tell about things, but it would have just burdened me with a moral or ethical issue about whether to keep it to myself or not, without giving me any benefit. I didn't argue or try to convince her to tell me, I just said ok then and got off the phone.

Did I maintain frame properly and for the right reasons?