Move in with girlfriend?

bicepsblastingstud · 2015-08-12T12:36:40+00:00

You can move in together or she can move in with you, but you can never move in with her.

Terror_of_the_Void · 2015-08-12T06:47:29+00:00

I believe there is an Iron Rule of Tomassi on this subject: http://therationalmale.com/2011/10/06/shacking-up/

Jessie_James · 2015-08-12T14:11:02+00:00

My take - this is a BIG nope. And I've gone through this a few times when i was young and dumb.

Here is why:

Only move in with her if it is NOT for financial reasons or she/you have no other options. She's moving out of her parents? This is a financial move for her. She should get her own place. She needs to get out there on her own. You can always visit each other. After she's been on her own for a year then you may want to revisit this. Therefore, this is a trap for you.

Other tips:

Only move in together if either you and she can afford to move out. That means you both have enough money to pay for 2 months rent, a deposit, and a moving truck. If not, and things go bad, you're stuck with her. Can't afford to leave? You're fucked.
If you move in, you should be on the lease, but not her. This allows you to kick her out if things do not go well.
Any place you move into should be affordable in your budget without her financial help. If you cannot afford the place on your own, you cannot break up and kick her out. The caveat is if you have a 2 bedroom place and can rent out the second room to a roommate, but that's a whole 'nother issue.
Remember if she does not have her own place, and you break up, she may start bringing other men home and fucking them. Do you really want to hear her fucking Chad while you are in your room?

I would not do it. This is how I got stuck with my ex-wife. Right out of college, we moved in to "save money" and then ... 11 years later I got out. So dumb.

If she's the right one, she will still love you in a year.

shablamman · 2015-08-12T01:48:02+00:00

In general, moving in with a women can kill attraction. If you decide to do so, keep busy. Some are completely against it: I mover in with my ex after college and we broke up because she tried to run my shit. Overall I'm happy I did it early on because I learned a significant amount and it ultimately led me to trp.

That being said when she moves out of her parents house she asked me to join her.

You need to take the lead.

bl33dingr3d · 2015-08-12T03:01:41+00:00

You know, I used to be of the opinion that you should "test drive the car before you buy it", meaning live with a girl before you commit to a long term relationship or marriage (don't do that one).

My ex-wife moved in really early in the relationship. We lived together and nothing changed after we got married...and that was part of the problem (ended up in a dead bedroom situation). Living together can KILL attraction. You gotta always be on your game, and when she sees you farting around in your pajamas one too many weekends then her sex drive can dry up. If this girl is cool, and you trust her, and you're trying to make things work long term then I say go for it. But just remember that you'll need to not spend 24/7 with her and give yourself space. Don't close off your male friendships and make sure you frame the situation as you're the Captain of the ship.

Definitely read Married Man's Sex Life Primer, even though you're not married, because it is relevant to a live-in girlfriend situation.

Doctorpepperpants · 2015-08-13T20:24:18+00:00

Moving in is alright, BUT you must not become predictable (easier said than done). The moment you relax and start falling into a routine is the moment she looses 'tingles' for you.

PeluzaHT · 2015-08-12T02:02:17+00:00

Been in the same situation. She came to live to my house. We lost all the cool things we had due to routine, so we ended our relationship a few months ago. Living together can be a pain in the ass... but do what you feel.

scrubcrusher479 · 2015-08-12T01:35:56+00:00

Hey bro. It's the red pill. Beat her if it doesn't work out, right?

Title	Move in with girlfriend?
Author	Microwaved_Lettuce
Upvotes	4
Comments	21
Date	August 12, 2015 1:26 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/3go2cj/move_in_with_girlfriend/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/move-in-with-girlfriend.152306 https://theredarchive.com/post/152306

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