Effective communication compromise?

AFPJ · 2016-09-11T23:33:55+00:00

TL;DR My LTR gal seems to want ~~all my plans outlined for her.~~ to control me

Fixed. In other breaking news, women find men they can control repulsive and the sky is blue.

PragmaticRedTruth · 2016-09-11T22:58:58+00:00

What to do?

Hold frame, that's it. Ignore, change subject, tease... And do so fucking relentlessly.

If you feel it's ample, I'd be willing to bet it is. She's trying to rope you in and bring out those beta qualities. Fuck that.

DarkisKnight · 2016-09-12T17:36:41+00:00

Other's seem to be treating this as a shit-test. It may very well be a shit-test. However, this could be a comfort test disguised as her not so subtle effort to assert some control over you.

You see women who realize they have a high value man after a while need to put the hooks in for fear of losing you. They will manipulate and wear you down to make you more predictable so they can keep tabs on your whereabouts and know that no other girls are getting your valuable attention. What they don't realize is this is the surefire way to turn you into a beta and they'll begin to lose attraction to you.

So, you can't give in to their efforts to control your time and attention in this way unless you want to get on the train to deadbedrooms or worse. But, they are trying to extract some form of commitment from you albeit in a roundabout way. Failure to recognize this for what it is will eventually lead to you losing her.

In my experience if you continually treat these types of things as shit-tests without dosing out some beta comfort now and again you'll lose the girl. This has happened to me.

What she really wants is to know that you'll be there for her and you care about her. You need to reassure her that you're not going anywhere but that you can't always reveal your plans to her. You can make something up about how you're spontaneous (even if you aren't) or that it's just not practical (insert reason here).

RPShitlord · 2016-09-11T23:11:59+00:00

Ignore everything she says about what you should change. You are the totality of traits that makes you attractive to her. Don't go changing nothing.

data_Jack · 2016-09-11T23:42:39+00:00

Thanks men. I will follow this advice accordingly.

quicklogaccount · 2016-09-12T11:57:23+00:00

Don't address it as a shit test, it has the elements for a comfort test too.
Or do, but don't "blow" it "Do I look like a man with a plan". Just ignore and if it happens again illustrate to her she has ample information.

Besides that, "plans" equals "schedule"? of she's pestering you about knowing your schedule, watch out.

Title	Effective communication compromise?
Author	data_Jack
Upvotes	6
Comments	12
Date	September 11, 2016 10:46 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/52b66f/effective_communication_compromise/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/effective-communication-compromise.111175 https://theredarchive.com/post/111175

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