Okay have I done the right thing here?

Short version - am in process of divorcing wife, she's just like her mother - critical, nit picking, everything is always wrong, even when I bought her some flowers - she doesn't like those kinds of flowers or those colours either, etc.

I am sure her behaviour is an extreme form of non-stop shit testing (or abuse of the narcissistic kind) in order to obtain control - so that she can then for example disappear to a nightclub and not roll in til 4-30am, when she was supposed to be home at midnight.

Both phones off, snowing like hell outside, and she doesn't want to tell me who she went with - turns out it was her, another female, and 2 guys - at least one of whom is single.

Anyway, the daughter is 17 and her behaviour towards me has become just like her mothers.

Having only seen her briefly over the last 4 weeks (she's staying with her mom AND moms mother) she was supposed to be coming over and staying, and I was going to cook something nice for her.

She's a veggie, so I went shopping, got a load of ingredients and spent 3 hours cooking from scratch.

She then instead of arriving - her mom turns up with a letter about why she isn't coming - she doesn't like this about me, or that, I need to change - etc.

To me this is just manipulation and trying to turn me into a doormat, just like her mother did - the daughter is trying to control me under the threat of "if you don't do as I say I'm not going to see you".

In other words you're going to do what I say. It's emotional blackmail.

Long story short, after a text exchange where I told her I'm the parent, you're the child, you do what I say, not the other way around - she's ended up telling me to F off, so I've told her we're done, I don't want to see her, speak to her, I don't want her to email me, text me, or anything else.

Do you think that's a shitty thing to say to your daughter?

Basically after finally growing a pair and kicking out the woman who for 20 years has emotionally fucked me over on a daily basis, my self esteem destroyed, etc, - I can't fucking cope with the thought of the daughter taking over that role and my life being turned into an emotional blackmail rollercoaster again.

I've never been so happy than the last few months without her mother here, I've refound my confidence and identity and I'm fucked if I'm letting some woman, any woman (even my daughter) drag me down like that again.

Last interesting point - I always thought the ex's dad was a total douchebag, because when he left he stopped seeing or communicating with his 3 kids (3 daughters!).

Well you know what - now I can see why. After putting up with years of shit from his wife, and finally getting the fuck out, he probably had the same experience as me - the daughters take over and start giving you shit instead.

Anyway at 17 my daughter is almost an adult, and since she was the one who told me to F off (she's never talked to me like that before) and then proceeded to try and guilt shame me - I strangely, while I would prefer to have a relationship with my daughter - I'm feeling more relief at not having to put up with the shit, than not seeing the daughter.

Am I a bad man lol ?