I don't really know how to substantiate this. I had yet another friend who's now 50 randomly message me to admit that she had a crush on me for ages but distance was an issue. She also said that while she feels I'm unlucky with online dating and hookup apps etc. due to the superficiality of it all, she's surprised I don't have more women chasing me in person because of my personality which she finds attractive. She advised that I should look for 'mature' women-not necessarily older but mature, and she implied that I was seeking out emotionally immature women, or girls. (Not...girls girls, but late teen early 20s who were still psychologically girls, I suppose.) Admittedly she was drunk and the context seems to have been more a "drunk text a wholesome compliment to a friend" thing than actually asking me out. If it helps, she is in a relationship anyway and I am sort of friends or friendly with her SO. He's a great guy, she's really cool, and they're a lovely couple so I'm happy for them.

Before this I had a colleague (early 40s) who I was working on a project on confess the same. (I've since abandoned the project for reasons I don't need to go into lol, but unfortunately it meant cutting contact with her.) She would also ask me for advice with her relationship difficulties. Another friend in the same age group also admired me in this way. All 3 of these women have kids, 2 have sons or daughters of their own who are either as old as me or not much younger (late teens/early 20s). I also have 2 close male friends, one a couple of years older and another much younger, who like me. One romantically-although I haven't had to explicitly reject them since I think they realised distance was once again an issue-and the other wants to hook up. They sort of ironically try and convince me to be bicurious or just stop pursuing women entirely, sometimes it's a funny in-joke and other times it's awkward.

....but, I have NO girls, well, women in my age group who are interested or open to anything, afaik.

As to the interpretation, well I have 3.

There's the most innocent and meaningless one which is she's just trying to cheer me up and boost my confidence if/when I'm lonely on a weekend, knowing that I have social anxiety and overthink things often. NBD. As it happened, I've been out half the day at the gym then getting groceries, so not had time to feel lonely (plus, lockdown is reduced but still in effect here, so we're not socialising normally yet). She couldn't have known that though.

There's the one which is haunting me, which is TRP saying it's because of The Wall, biological clock ticking blabla. If this is the case then the reason they [referring to everybody] have a crush on me or are sort of nonchalantly hitting on me, is because they're desperate. Or picky enough to find men in their age group unattractive but not as much as they were when younger and would probably have rejected me. I feel disgusted applying this at the personal level towards friends, as it's disrespectful of their feelings and how much I care for them. At a more 'dating economics' level it sadly rings some truth, since it adds up with little interest from women in my age group and her understanding WHY I might not have much success with Tinder etc...It's because I'm not cute enough for girls in my age group, I'd only be visible when the better guys were all taken, lol. Bruised ego.

But the other extreme interpretation, which is loosely feminist bordering on female supremacist, complicates this. This assumes most young men (teens through to 20s, even early 30s) haven't matured quick enough with their peers who have their shit together, and this is a huge turn-off which leads women to pursue older men or stay single rather than deal with losers and manchildren. Now the appeal for younger men COMPLETELY lacks sense except for NSA sexytimes. I have personal beefs with a men-are-inferior approach to understanding gender inequality, socialised or otherwise, but in the interest of rejecting redpill conditioning I give it some leeway.

The problem with this, as I say, is that it doesn't add up with being advised to find mature women, or my personality being attractive mainly to women with emotional maturity. At the academic level, pretty much all the lit on this phenomenon which vetted out implicit and structural bias against women, says that women in their teens and 20s are on average socially, psychologically, emotionally and financially more mature and stable than their male peers. So statistically the likelihood of me being surrounded by immature women is low and this compliment would then amount to an ego-boost that it'd be delusional to treat it as meaningful. At the personal level, I can be seen as mature over the Internet and our online exchanges, but I substantially do NOT have my shit together, and if my Googling this and lurking AskWomen and similar places tells me anything then that is the major deciding factor as to what is real maturity. Most of these posts say, in line with the aforementioned lit, they wouldn't see a younger man as remotely a relationship prospect unless they were at the same or higher socioeconomic status, career or education level as her, as well as stage of settling (e.g. living in own place, paid off all student loans if there were any/debt free, etc.) None of this applies to me because I'm a job seeker and a forever student. So it doesn't add up. Unless she means I come across as needing some extra protection and security due to my insecurities/anxiety issues...but then why the crush? Gah.

I am equal parts flattered and frustrated by these confessions.