So /u/alphabeta49 and I were discussing in a different thread the pros and cons of certain behaviors; in this case, picking up after our wives because we want to live in an environment of order and tidiness.

I've always had a problem with my wife's messiness...she was practically raised by wolves (her parents are grade-A white trash), whereas I was raised to keep my space clean and organized.

In any case, what this boils down to is that I handle most of the chores in my house. She has gotten better with time (and many arguments), but I still do the lion's share.

It seems to me that this issue cuts both ways: on one hand, I'm taking responsibility for my own happiness and sanity, and for the conditions that I want for my environment. Whether or not she contributes is up to her, and I often express disappointment (and in the past, anger and/or rage) when she refuses to.

On the other hand, there is certainly a subservient element to coming home to a dirty house and having to clean it myself if I want it to be clean. She knows what I expect, and while she does make some effort, she falls laughably short of my standard most of the time. (I would be remiss if I didn't give credit where credit is due: she has steadily gotten better over the nearly nine years that we've lived together, but it's always been at my behest. Order/tidiness are not priorities for her naturally.)

The last thing I'll say is this: I don't do any of these things for her. I've learned that this is an important distinction. Still, I think (and /u/alphabeta seems to agree) that this is a worthwhile topic for discussion. I'm especially interested to see what the seasoned MRP veterans have to say about this.

Edit 1: for clarity

Edit 2: relevant TRM