I decided to remove sex from the equation. I am not having sex with her for 3 mos. Depending on how things go, maybe 6.

I felt like so much of our dysfunction revolved around sex and getting it or not getting it. She is damaged goods and rode the CC for so long as a way to self-soothe and to create an identity. I felt like one of the ways that she disrespected me was the belief that I had to have it. That all men have to have it. They have no control and that makes them weak. So I took her currency and made it null and void. This is something that came up in NMMNG and resonated with me.

The first day or so it seemed like a nuclear dread had just gone off. Then it got a little warmer and relaxed, then I began to see more clearly. It added to my anger and then depression.

This moves quickly especially when I lift. So driving home today, I had to LOL remembering the joke “Why do women have vaginas? So men will talk to them.” So much of what she is, the power she holds, the extra kudos that I have given her, have been so sexually related. Like I believed her shit about how smart she was.

So I’m learning. Insights about me, insights about her. Insights about us. If anybody else has experience with doing this, your help would be appreciated.

It seems like the "no sex gambit" but it also seems to be the right thing to do to help clear the deck.