Cognitive dissonance

nordicpolarbear · 2016-11-30T16:27:02+00:00

This post is trash.

nordicpolarbear · 2016-11-30T16:34:38+00:00

You're fucking garbage.

You buy something out of nowhere and your wife gets pissed then like a butthurt child you say WELL LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID SEE, I HAVE SECRET BUDGET YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT YET i'M HOLDING YOU TO IT.

Archwinger · 2016-11-30T17:10:45+00:00

You're a loser.

I bought something for $80. We had a money fight and she is bitching about where is that money coming from.

If you were in control of your family's finances and had the budget in hand, and your shit was handled, your wife wouldn't get uppity about you buying something in the first place. She'd know you have your shit handled, that kind of money isn't an issue, and she'd trust that if you went out and bought something, that it wasn't going to be a problem.

That's your problem. You don't have your shit handled, or at least, she doesn't think you do, so instead of trusting that you have things handled when you buy something, she comes at you to question your judgment. And from the sound of your post, she's right to do so.

I pull up the mint account and totaled her shopping for the month of November. $541 for the month not even budgeted for.

So when your wife confronted you about an unexpected expense you chose to incur, your response isn't, "Don't worry about it. Shit's handled, as you well know because that is the normal way I've been leading our family for years." It's to immediately begin defending yourself, flinging shit at her, arguing, and rationalizing, "So what! You do it worse! Nah nah!" Loser.

I haven't brought this to her attention yet but we will be having a budget meeting tonight to reconcile her out of control spending. Plan is to give her a limit on shopping money not this willy nilly bull shit. I'm going to have to be on our finances like stink on shit from here on out.

So you haven't effectively led your family financially. She perceives that you haven't effectively planned your finances or given her (or yourself) any boundaries. That's why she's jumping your ass. Because when you don't lead your family financially, she feels like she has to.

And what's this bullshit you're doing? You've been secretly tracking her spending and were planning to have a surprise "budget meeting" to discuss this issue tonight? Why the hell didn't you nip this earlier? Why have you been slinking around tracking your wife's activities and keeping your mouth shut, hoping to surprise and bully her with spreadsheets? Because you're a loser. That's why.

I just can't get over her bitching at me for $80 yet she is spending way more a month on bull shit clothing for the kids shopping etc. what the fuck? Different standards for me I guess. Just goes to show ya. ... Well were $2700 in debt so not bad but damn what the fuck?

If you're 4 digits in debt, why are you wasting 80 bucks on bullshit? Or tolerating your wife's expenditures while you slink around gathering data for your little spreadsheet meeting?

Loser. Loser. Loser. Fuck you. Handle your shit.

ReddJive · 2016-11-30T16:28:05+00:00

I am not sure what you have learned but MRP and writing paragraphs isn't one of them.

nordicpolarbear · 2016-11-30T16:38:08+00:00

This post is shit. Here's why:

You're just bitching here and you haven't done anything about it. How does that help anyone? This community is not a soft pillow for you to scream in when your wife is acting up.
You say this is your fault, but still blame her. You're not owning your shit.
You're talking about what you need to do, not what you have done. My wife does this all the time.

If you really want to learn from this site. Learn from the guys who are going to tear you a new one for wasting their time.

Scubastyles · 2016-11-30T16:39:37+00:00

You're emotional right now; process the true source of your anger - it's probably your own cognitive dissonance or lack of action. Once you have you won't be mad at her for being a woman. Then handle the shit without of being the Fuhrer of the checkbook.

Everyone's ripping and going to rip you because you didn't do anything to handle this situation - I think you can be better than this post indicates.

2016-11-30T16:43:20+00:00

Keep talking, that'll work.

You half ass your life, and she takes advantage. Why blame her?

You're not welcome, because you haven't learned a god damned thing, name one thing you learned from any of the sidebar?

redearththeory · 2016-11-30T16:44:48+00:00

Posting on askmrp inquiring how to run that budget meeting might move you towards progress. This post is you jerking your hamster.

2016-11-30T16:45:10+00:00

LOL, I hope the mods leave this up. Every now and then it's good to make an example....

2016-11-30T16:55:07+00:00

move this crap elsewhere. I am trying to keep my chicken sandwich down

2016-11-30T16:57:41+00:00

I'd laugh if this wasn't so pathetic. I do not understand you dudes who EVER let your woman run your money. At least you have seen the error of your ways. Better change 'em.

Persaeus · 2016-11-30T17:03:48+00:00

her $$$ is her money, and your $$$ is our money

in other news, water is wet

This is my fault I'm going to stay on top of this.

That is the tactical summary. The strategic summary is your are likely not high value enough yet for her to respect you or your budget.

bogeyd6 · 2016-11-30T17:05:07+00:00

Well looks like you took a lashing before I found this. Please take the post to /r/askMRP if you want people to answer it.

Title	Cognitive dissonance
Author	nordicpolarbear
Upvotes	0
Comments	28
Date	November 30, 2016 4:23 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/5fqhme/cognitive_dissonance/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/cognitive-dissonance.199315 https://theredarchive.com/post/199315

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