Last week the number of shit tests had increased in both severity and intensity. There was a specific issue with how I was handling the Honey Do list. As some of you might remember it was a compromise I made for her to channel chore play at me. The list quite frankly had gotten very long while I was traveling on business. My guess is I was failing, from her point of view, in doing what I was told to do. The real problem was getting them done because they were so complicated.

She was waiting for me to get home and we had this conversation.

Her: When are you going to weed eat the new flower beds.

Me: They are not flower beds. They are mulch beds.

Her: I put it on the list so that you would do something about it.

Me: That list is pretty long, maybe you should prioritize it for me.

Her: I'm your wife not your assistant.

Me: Want a job?

Her: See, you always act like this. When I am trying to be serious you don't take me seriously. I am tired of this bull shit.

Me: I don't smell anything.

Her: Right there, you know what you are doing. Stop it. Stop it right now or you are gonna regret it.

Me: Oh yeah?

At this point she storms out of the room. I head over to my office. To give you an idea my home is pretty large and you don't just happen over to my office by accident. Maybe 20 minutes later she decides to start cleaning that area of the house. Running the vacuum and what sounded like banging pots and pans. Really regretting I didn't sound proof my room.

I walk out of my door and casually lean against the door frame until she notices that I am looking at her. I am laughing inside but I manage to hold it together. With the sternest look on my face I manage to squeak out:

Me: You want my attention, you got my attention.

Her: Oh? I am just doing my every day chores because I don't get to sit on my ass when I get home.

Me: Step into my office right now.

At this point she actually walks in and has that I am glad I got under his skin smirk on her face.

Me: Put your hands on the desk.

Her: I know what you are doing (as she puts her hands on the desk)

You can guess what happened after this. She got spanked for being a bad girl with references to being my worst assistant, and life went on as usual. What the real problem is I can't weed eat the mulch beds because the weed eater is still broken. She might be onto something about me not doing things she asked me to do.