a practical problem - cant even start

hunterpua · 2024-03-19T16:02:45+00:00

This isn't a special problem. This is just like stage fright. Tons of guys experience this.

And like stage fright, you just gotta keep exposing yourself to it until you get over it.

Courage is not the absence of fear but the ability to act even when you're terrified.

The only thing that's making you a coward right now is the fact that you're not acting in the face of fear. You become a winner the second you stand up to that fear, even if the girl ends up rejecting you.

Don't wait until the fear is bearable before you take action because that's never gonna happen, instead keep taking action in spite of that fear until you overcome it.

DaygameCode · 2024-03-19T19:35:31+00:00

Your ego hates what it can’t control. When you see a woman, your ego thinks you will be rejected and the problem with being rejected is that your ego interprets rejection as a measure or reflection of your worth. Your sense of self-worth is important because it influenced how you perceive yourself, your value, your abilities.

If you allow your ego to dictate your perception of yourself based on external factors like rejection, it leads to a cycle of negative self-talk, inadequacy, self-doubt, and diminished self-worth which leads to self-sabotaged, avoiding risk, not pursuing opportunities.

When you however recognise that rejection is a natural part of life and doesn't define your worth, it can help you detach from your ego's expectations.

When you have a strong sense of self-worth which doesn’t depend on other people s approval, you acknowledge your intrinsic value and worthiness regardless of external validation.

To do that you need to practice self-compassion, self-awareness, humility, accepting rejection is not something shameful, and a willingness to challenge and reframe negative beliefs about yourself.

By prioritizing your sense of self-worth, you empower yourself to navigate life's challenges with resilience and confidence.

This only happens with women you like because deep down you seek approval, validation and acceptance from her and you are focused on the outcome. Deep down you hate that not everyone you pursue will like you back.

With women you don’t like, you don’t care about the outcome, you are not invested in them, and you couldn’t give two shits if they approve or validate you because you don’t like them anyways so their opinion is meaningless.

You need to accept that not everyone you like has to like you back, and that’s ok. It’s normal. It’s not something to get upset over or be ashamed. Just be humble.

You also need to see rejection as an opportunity to admit that you need to improve your social skills, that you need to learn and grow.

This isn’t something bad, this is essential towards becoming better at talking to girls, to recognise that the things you say or do might not be the best ones and that you need to try different approaches, and say different things.

You need to prioritise enjoying the journey, rather than obsessing over the destination. See approaching women as a real life video game rather than as a battle for your worth or a tribunal for how much you are worth.

But rather than acting like it’s an attack on you, just treat it as a learning opportunity to be better.

jsilsmskal · 2024-03-19T21:42:44+00:00

Yeah this is common. But you should do it anyway

epimpstyle · 2024-03-19T16:49:18+00:00

You can't start because you're not mentally ready to start, and because you don't start, the "3-second rule" is activated and the fear begins to develop. It is not difficult to understand this process.

Have you ever seen boxers before a fight? Their trainer yells at them, slaps them, pushes them, makes them angry because they have to go into a fighting mode.

Before you talk to a girl, you also have to go into a talkative mode, you have to warm up. If you are in the right mindset, you will see no problem to start talking to any girl, you won't care what she thinks, you will just focus on yourself to have fun, be friendly and cool.

You need to do a kind of "warm-up" before you talk to a girl. How do you do this? There are many ways, let me give you an example:

enter a bar to feel the vibe - VIDEO
talk to the bartender - VIDEO
talk to people in the bar or outside - VIDEO
ask a question a random girl on the street then hopefully you can talk to a woman - VIDEO

If you cannot move on to the next level, repeat the previous step until you get bored, then I bet you will want to move on because, for example, you will get bored walking around a bar like a loner and you will want to talk to the bartender. Then you will get bored talking to only bartenders/waitresses/vendors, so you will want to talk to normal people.....and so on.....you must take some baby steps.

When you enter a talkative mode, it is super-easy, you won't think that much and you will focus on the present moment (you won't care what she thinks or what other people think about you - you will forget this mindset)

For example, I approached two girls from behind - although I don't recommend this, the blonde girl almost got scarred by me, I tried to tell a joke, although they don't speak English, so they didn't get the joke. - see the VIDEO - but it doesn't matter, is about starting a conversation.

TRTGymBro · 2024-03-19T17:06:06+00:00

How do you know you want to kiss and fuck her? She's a total stranger. Maybe she just got done blowing a horse or her dog. Maybe she's a murderer or a thief. Or swallowed 5 loads behind a Wendy's dumpster for meth money.

SnooHesitations4922 · 2024-03-20T14:29:13+00:00

This is actually something that all males have hard wired into their biology.

In ancient times, being rejected could have gotten you executed or exiled by the tribe. Your dna thinks it's a death sentence and automatically tries to prevent those consequences.

Knowing that, you can disregard that survival mechanism because we live in completely different times.

That dread you feel is just mechanism, it's separate from cowardice.

Cowardice would be failure to disregard how you feel and to make excuses not to do stuff that you actually want to do.

No-Let4101 · 2024-03-20T17:51:21+00:00

I suffer from this too, this is anxiety - I would advise for you to read the book "Feeling great" by Dr. David Burns - It has helped me big deal to actually start taking the first steps towards action and beating anxiety, TBH I have improved a lot over the last few weeks by believing in Dr. Burns and his counsel

Title	a practical problem - cant even start
Author	justStop2020
Upvotes	9
Comments	11
Date	March 19, 2024 3:53 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1bink85/a_practical_problem_cant_even_start/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/a-practical-problem-cant-even-start.1428509 https://theredarchive.com/post/1428509

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