I'm really proud of this one.

Ok here goes: So there is a bar/restaurant near my house that a lot of people pregame at before they go out. I know the manager and some other people that hang out there, so I decide to go have dinner there before I go out that night.

I sit at the bar and order dinner. I end up sitting next to Billy, a guy I know. Now Billy is a nice guy, but he's one of these douches that is always in the club trying to get laid. He is always with some pretty girl, but I can't tell if he's banging them or not. I learn in this story that his game is wack.

So I'm sitting at the bar waiting for my food and I start chatting with Billy. After some discussion of where we are going, Billy says "Oh my fucking God, look at those girls." I turn around and literally 2 of the hottest girls I have ever seen are standing behind us. Like, supermodel status. I'll call them "supermodels." They are easily 9s.

I immediately dismiss the supermodels in my head because

1) they're way too hot for me 2) I'm here just to pregame 3) I'm waiting for my food and I don't want to eat and try to mack on hos

But I also kind of wanted to show off my PUA skills to Billy, so I turn around to try to talk to the girls. I figure out that even if I get shut down, Billy would still respect my steez because those girls are so hot they are out of both our leagues. I see them looking around so I ask "are you guys waiting for friends." They answer "yeah." I say "are you guys planning on going out tonight" they say "yeah, but we don't know where." So I start talking about places to go in the area, blah blah blah, and invite them out. Meanwhile, my anxiety is through the roof because I can't even believe that these girls are talking to us. After the while I kind of feel them losing interest so I go back to my food.

Billy then leans over to me and says "aren't you going to buy them drinks"? I say "no, I don't buy hos drinks." He starts to laugh and goes back to what he was doing. I realize that I don't buy hos drinks, but Billy can. So I say to Billy, "do you want to buy them drinks"? He says, "yeah." So I turn around to the girls and say "do y'all want drinks" They of course say yes and I order everyone drinks on Billy.

The girls take their drinks and go sit down on a couch, basically having played Billy for his drinks. I'm still eating. As I'm eating, 2 new girls (ghetto hos) stand next to me and order drinks. We start chatting and these girls are waaay into me. I consider pursuing, but I feel I can do better that night. After I finish my food, I decide to go look for Billy. By that time, the 2 supermodels' friends had shown up (2 hot girls, not as hot as the supermodels, but still really hot) and Billy had gotten them a dinner table and was now buying them DINNER! Meanwhile, a bunch of Billy's douchebag friends were now sitting at the table because they wanted to mack on these girls. So I'm sitting at this dinner table, 4 guys, 4 girls, and the guys are all trying to out-alpha the girls with some story about their life. One guy claimed to be a stuntman in the movies; one guy (the manager of the bar) was talking about how he had an exclusive deal with Moet and Chandon. All I heard was blah blah blah. I was quiet the whole time.

I realized I needed to give this party a kick in the pants. So I interrupt everybody and loudly say "what song should I request from the DJ"? Of course, nobody has an answer cuz nobody would even think of doing that so I answer myself "the new Justin Timberlake." The girls of course, love it, and we start talking about Justin Timberlake, and I successfully out alpha-d all the other douchebags.

So I leave the table to go to the DJ booth. Right in front of the DJ are sitting 2 hot strippers from the nicest strip club in town. This strip club is known for having Playboy playmates, Cowboys cheerleaders, etc... These girls are pretty hot too, but they're not nearly as hot as the supermodels (they are like 7-8) and they are dressed in jeans and t-shirts while the supermodels are dressed very nice. I say to the strippers "excuse me guys, I have to request some justin timberlake." Turns out the strippers love justin timberlake and after I make my request we start chatting. Turns out one of the strippers just broke up with her boyfriend and is looking for a new man. Cha-ching!! We chat for like 20 minutes but then I realized that the supermodels are back at the dinner table with Billy. I think about getting the strippers' numbers and leaving, but then I think of a brilliant plan - "Hey do you guys want to come meet my friends"? The strippers are like "yeah, awesome!"

So I take the strippers back to the dinner table where the models are hanging out with the douchebags. The models are of course surprised there are new girls, and the strippers are totally intimidated by the models. And of course the douchebags are just excited that there are more girls. When the models finish dinner everybody goes to the club next door. On the way to the next club I take a stripper on each arm and one of them whispers in my ear "Your friends (i.e., the supermodels) are so fucking hot, I feel intimidated by them." I just say "don't worry, they're nice" - I never say "I just met them and they're not that interested in me."

So we show up to the club - 6 chicks, 4 dudes. I'm hanging out with the strippers and Billy and the other douchebags are hanging out with the supermodels. Of course, Billy's game is wack so the supermodels leave. After that, the strippers say to me "hey your friend Billy is being aggressive and creeping us out. We want to go somewhere else." So I leave with the strippers (we go eat somewhere and I get their numbers, one of them is sober and the other is throwing up so nobody is closing). Billy blows up my p hone with multiple texts which I ignore. I text Billy the next day to see if he got the supermodels' numbers. He didn't. He fucked up. I fucked up because I should have just asked and gotten them. Whatever.

Long story short, I am now dating one of the strippers.