Lukewarm responses after dates

EducationalArmy9152 · 2025-10-27T11:35:40+00:00

Thanks for the info guys. I think what she said may have been a rejection but ultimately I didn’t text back because she’s kinda right while we have the tiniest amount in common I didn’t find her that interesting so there was nothing to talk about. We talked a bit about travel and moving houses etc but I took her to a proper restaurant because I don’t drink any more (again wouldn’t mind some advice around this because I’ve found the less casual / alcohol around a place the harder it is to escalate; even sitting opposite someone as opposed to next to them makes it kinda hard to feel them out). She also did mention she was going to a friends house straight after so any sealing of the deal was bound to be a non starter. Plus she was Indian so kinda conservative. The area is kinda half city half country town so couldn’t really go for a walk either

Jeetuprime · 2025-10-27T10:36:39+00:00

I guess if you post a conversational sample one could help. Besides that, ask yourself. Are you having fun? Did you escalate into a more emotionally/fun conversation rather than a barrage of questions, fun facts about yourself and small talk? I would just gauge comfort first, and try to add aspects to the date that aren’t just dinner like a walk to a desert place close by, body language says a lot. The way someone walks with you says a lot. This is just what I like to gauge with. More you statements than I statements also help encourage a more reactionary zone rather than you giving informational dumps and trying to look for acceptance. That’s my own idea of calibration at least. About the weight thing, I can’t lie man I’m a few pounds over myself right now and it makes it harder. I’ve noticed the same laugh, emotional reaction and comfort in women but there’s a little more hesitation in escalation. You can choose to play the game on hard mode but it’s easier to lose the extra weight tbh. You can still get laid being a bit over but just a bit. I recommend changing your perspective to see if the girl is good for you to hang around with rather than what you’re doing right or wrong. I’m sure there’s seasoned guys here who may disagree with what all I’ve said but this is what works for me without having to change oneself too dynamically. A good calibrator is also just ask her to text when she gets home safe, if she’s interested she’d be happy to because you’ve given her a free leg to initiate because you told her too. If she isn’t into you, she won’t see it as sweet and probably forget. Chances are also in this dating economy girls are being way more guarded and playing more games and taking shit tests because of social media and pressure from their friends, so texting first back isn’t that bad it might feel warranted on her end if you had a good time she’d want you to initiate, though if it’s dead after you initiate I’d say no point beating a dead horse. I’m not going to format or edit this because phone, cheers.

Matter_Still · 2025-10-27T10:58:25+00:00

There's an expression I heard while in Japan: "Whether the knife falls on the melon, or the melon on the knife, it's the melon that suffers."

It really doesn't matter what her motivation was. This wasn't lukewarm. It was purposefully preemptive and however moderate her tone was, there was an iron fist in that velvet glove.

Give her points for being candid with you but, again, this was not "lukewarm"; she flat-out said there was nothing to merit moving forward.

Try not to overthink this. At some point it will be you, after taking someone out, who didn't feel a connection. And don't let people who weren't there tell you failed to do this or that. Sometimes you can do everything right and you still go home disappointed.

Fair_Entrepreneur686 · 2025-10-27T11:41:32+00:00

Why are you being a clown and taking women out to dinner?

Remarkable_Outside67 · 2025-10-27T19:04:16+00:00

I’ve been on like 20 first dates this year, and honestly, I’ve never gotten messages like this before. Usually they’re like, “So, when are we seeing each other again?”

But sometimes you can tell some women are really just fishing for the “What are we?”, “How do you see me?”, “Where is this going?” talk. And that stuff just makes me doubt things even more because, come on, I don’t even know you yet. So like people always say, what’s the point of “locking it down” if there’s nothing to lock down?

Intelligent-Roll-763 · 2025-10-27T20:17:16+00:00

When you get a lot of failed dates it's either: 1. Something wrong with your vibe: fashion, grooming, non verbals

A lack of planning : just hanging out and going with the flow is not a good strategy to convert a date into something meaningful. You need to be as planned as possible.
Lack of sexuality and dominance.
Lack of boundaries aka "too nice".

Ok_Cycle_8393 · 2025-10-27T10:23:31+00:00

The advice from this community will be to “close the deal”. Thats how you get the second date. Reading what you wrote, you weren’t playful enough, didn’t escalate, and didnt have sex, hence she didn’t feel the connection.

Title	Lukewarm responses after dates
Author	EducationalArmy9152
Upvotes	5
Comments	15
Date	October 27, 2025 6:38 AM UTC (9 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1oh7e01/lukewarm_responses_after_dates/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/lukewarm-responses-after-dates.1565108 https://theredarchive.com/post/1565108

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