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[–]vxStarkxv 12 points13 points14 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
First, I want to thank you for what you do. I will begin with lifestyle questions. I saw that you meditate and I would like to know what's your meditation schedule and how your meditate (there is a hell lot of various way to meditate) ? Also what's your Top3 more important habits that you have and why? Thanks, shortly the seduction questions ;)
[–]ChrisBale17 points 11 years ago [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
Straight off the bat with a meditation question...awesome :-) personally, I have meditated for about 9 years now. In this time I have went though MANY different types, BUT, i have always kept returning to the most simplistic forms, as these can in many ways be the most challenging.
Anything with too many bells and whistles in anything in life should be avoided i think. Aim for simplicity.
I now practice 2 forms of meditation. In the morning straight after waking, I practice mindfulness meditation, which is basically Vipassana. Its all about checking back in with your body and listening to whats going on, by feeling the sensations, and not labelling them. egular practice of this will change your life when it comes to understanding your behaviours, and being able to manage any levels of anxiety or nervousness, especially with girls.
I do this for 15-40 minutes
Then I usually do Yoga for 30-60 minutes in the afternoon, followed by simple breathing awarness meditation for another 15 minutes.
Just like seduction, it is important to build these habits by doing even just a tiny bit each day. Something is better than nothing.
Top 3 habits are making myself drink warm lemon water every day before eating. Yoga/meditation - it keeps me connected to reality and my purpose, and achieving my goals in any aspect of life by implementing micro steps, rather than overwhelming big picture steps.
[–]Yungclowns 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
What's important about warm lemon water if you don't mind me asking?
[–]Rakuen 10 points11 points12 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Loved you in the Machinist
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 11 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Thanks for doing the AMA. I have a question about approaching. Every time I see a hot girl, I keep thinking to myself that she knows my intent the moment I approach her, and it ends up psyching me out. I feel like she is thinking "sigh here we go" and it messes me up. Do most girls think this when being approached? Do they typically get hit on a lot, or no (I've heard both)? Does what they think really matter? Thanks.
[–]ChrisBale115 points 11 years ago [recovered] (4 children) | Copy Link
What I will say is that girls Do get hit on a lot, but VERY badly. The fact you have already showed so much internal awareness in your question is a great thing. It means you have something you can easily work on.
Let me ask...what is the problem with a girl knowing you are a heterosexual man who finds her attractive? Is it something to be ashamed of?
I had this issue before, but that was back when I used to "approach" women.
The word approach has so many negative connotations attached to it, which enduces lots of fear and anxiety. With this fear...HUGE levels of importance is attached to a specific outcome...be that not getting rejected, or be it you having sex with the girl.
The moment I released that pressure by simplifying all of it, was the day my success with girls took a huge and effortless shift.
Today, if i see a girl i am attracted to...i do NOT go over to pick her up...I do NOT go over to seduce her....Nor do i even see it as approaching, because to do so adds so much unnecessary pressure, which ultimately fucks you up anyway.
The thing about pressure is...remember a time when you were around someone who was really awkward and nervous...it even makes you feel super uncomfortable doesnt it? because you can almost feel the pain they are going through. This type of energy and vibe makes you just want to get away from the person....well its the same with girls being approached by pick-up guys.
The pick up guy sees a girl....he reminds himself he has a job to do, to go over and make her like him. That creates large amounts of tension inside you. This is how you make first contact with the girl, looking to get something from her like a sleazy salesman.
Even if a girl cannot define it...its what she feels and she wants to get away...hence the guys who get shrugged off the second they open or try to stop a girl.
The below is built on the foundation that i dont take ANY of this seriously... This is a breakdown of what happens in my head when i see a girl i want to talk to.
1 - see girl 2 - feel attraction 3 - repeat the intention in my head "theres something about you i like...i want to meet you" 4 - put one foot infront of the other (not thinking about what i am going to say)
At this point I arrive at the girl and say something along the lines of excuse me, or hey.
In terms of what to actually say...i will usually use something observational that i have noticed about her, the situation, the enviornment around me.
An example of a girl i spoke to yesterday "Hey...I have the same dress at home"
When i open a woman....My job is to keep it light, playful, and sexual with my vibe, presence and eye contact etc.
This article goes into great detail for you: http://www.masculineintent.com/stop-complimenting-women/
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Thanks a bunch dude.
[–]neoleaktyler 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I know, this may be waayy late but when you say:
i do NOT go over to pick her up...I do NOT go over to seduce her....Nor do i even see it as approaching,
then, you see it as what?
[–]mermaidlyf 4 points5 points6 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Hi chris, I'm not a man but I am a lady who is currently trying to get out of crippling depression, low self esteem and a dating rut. Do you think your ideas could be beneficial to women as well or are men and women to different?
[–]gyutto2 points 11 years ago [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
Hello,
I'm attracted to a 9, at our first meetup I got alpha'd by another dude, he asked her for her number and did basically everything right, while I failed big time ( Shy, low self confidence and so on ) I'm glad that I learned how not to love girls immediately when they seem perfect but since she is so perfect I'm on the edge of loving her currently. I have no way to contact her, my only chance is a party in a few weeks which we both will attend, can you give me some advice how I can approach her and maybe date her later and where? I'm pretty bad at choosing dating places and general dates.
[–]ChrisBale116 points 11 years ago* [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
Firstly, I would encourage you not to rate women on a number scale. The fact that you know nothing about her as a person, but you rate her a 9, tells me a lot about you, and where you are currently at.
From my experience, I have spoke to lots of 9s and 10s in terms of physical beauty, and trust me mate, some of them had smellier farts than me. There is no such thing as perfect. Also, 9s and 10s can also be horrible people who are crazy that will make your life a living hell. Just like a 2, or a 5, or anyone for that matter.
Throw the number ratings away and only decide someone is worthy of your desire, time and affection after you have gotten to know parts of her.
Hot women know they are hot. Seduction is 3/4s curiosity. It is one of my most powerful traits when it comes to connecting deeply very quickly...BEING CURIOUS ABOUT HER! This should be coming from a genuine place, and it shows that you do not want her simply to be a masturbatory aid for your penis.
Women long to feel significant, like they matter, and that they are special, not for being hot, but for being herself, specifically.
Choosing her because of the things she has worked at impresses you, is MUCH more powerful than handing out 5000 compliments on how gorgeous her ass is. She has a club full of guys that she is not sleeping with to remind her of that.
What i'm trying to say is, You are not bad with women, right now, you are bad with yourself. You need to realise that the very fact you are placing SO MUCH IMPORTANCE on this one girl, while at the same time putting yourself down, is enough to repulse her from you.
You are awesome! You have just been trained, brought up, or brainwashed to assume otherwise. Like you must do something special to get someone to like you. Or you must learn all these pick-up techniques to trick her into liking you! These are not the traits of a man who will be loved.
Girls want a man who is good to himself first and foremost and is focused on bettering himself and going for what he wants.
Being shy is fine. I am very introverted naturally, so I push myself at times when I need it.
If i were you, I would stop focusing on how shit at things you assume you are, and start focusing on finding out things about her with genuine interest to see if she is someone YOU want to date. Not convincing her that you are good enough for her.
Its your world dude. We'r just all in it! Do and say what you want when you want....and for the love of god....speak to pretty girls...a lot!
Stop complimenting this. If you like her, and you are confused...say "Hey, lets go get a drink so we can hit on each other"
[–]richterisms 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
New to the whole seduction world! I've been trying to gradually push the edges of my comfort zone little by little each day. Yet, I've noticed I have sticking points when it comes to conversational kino! I've heard that it should be natural, yet I always freeze up or begin to freak out in my mind! I'm sure this is normal, yet I was wondering if you had any advice on this. Thanks man!
[–]ChrisBale15 points 11 years ago [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
The point you notice you are starting to freak out...say it. Tell her. an example of this would be something like "iv just realised im hitting on you, i think im getting nervous now, hold my hand"...and take her hand and start walking.
Works like a charm, and being vulnerable is super endearing to girls, while you combine it with escalating.
[–]richterisms 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Whoa! You totally blew my mind on that. I had never thought of that, yet now that makes complete sense! Thanks Chris :D
[–]Psychocist 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I like your sense of humour. It reminds me of my own sense of humour if I had the balls to express it. It's just so.. honest. Thanks for your AMA. I really dig your attitude towards seduction.
[–]Jamie_Alexander_Trea 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Is there any recommended articles or guide you can suggest about COLD APPROACH? if not , what are the basic things you can tell a guy about COLD APPROACH ?
[–]ChrisBale13 points 11 years ago [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
It depends what do you want to know? Also, i do not "approach"... that is going over to take. You only approach things which are dangerous. Start seeing it as you seeing a girl you are attracted to...and you find something interesting about her...so you want to meet her....then be normal...like a human being (not a pick up artist) and walk over, and meet her. "Hi, how are you/whats your name"...or make an observational comment...like what i did in a bar last night...2 gorgeous 18 year old german girls, sitting alone, looking bored. so i walked over and said "you guys...look so bored"...4 hours later we are on random sexy adventures around Barcelona.
Basically change "approaching" to simply starting a conversation. Stop taking this all so seriously! Because that creeps girls out. Keep it flirty and light.
[–]Jamie_Alexander_Trea 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
That's really not what you read in your everyday pick up stuffs , like its a new way of thinking about meeting girls . i just read your first article " The renaissance man" , the content was really rich and new i really liked it , but you keep dissing pick up artists. nevermind them mate and keep up the good work .
[–]pinkdawg99 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
What do you think was key to developing that flirty fun attitude you have?
[–]ChrisBale12 points 11 years ago [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
My key was changing my mindset. I chose to stop taking any of this seriously which allowed me to stop "approaching" and allow me to just be much more humourously observant in life and the situations.
This allows me to speak or say anything to anyone without placing much importance on it!
[–]CptMaury 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
How do you actually stop taking things so Sirius?
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Who's more handsomer? me or you?
[–]vxStarkxv 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
So like I said, her ewe go with the seductions questions The most important for me is what colour socks are you wearing ? ;)
Beside of that very important question, I didn't really understood how you project your masculine energy. What are the traits that you see when a man project his masculine energy to a woman. The same question with polarization. How do you put sexual tension in the interaction ? I have difficulties to physically escalate and because it's not naturally to me, when I try it, women sees it. And finally how to you keep the interaction foward ? After the initials talks about what your life is about, what we like etc... I found it very difficult to find new subjects of conversation
Oh and I remember that you talk about a breathing technique in one of your articles. If you put your conscious in your breathing, you are not anymore fully present, am I wrong ? And if your have other techniques like this one ...
Thanks, that's all for the moment. If I have others question I will come back ;)
In terms of projecting your masculine energy and sexual intention...this is fundamentally everything that seduces for you on a non-verbal level.
The way you should view this....is if you want someone else to feel an emotion around you...you first must generate and feel this emotion in yourself.
So with that said...If you want a woman to feel aroussed and turned on, you must go there first. Once you are feeling it and really in it...this is projected from you and your vibe drips in it, which then turns her on. That is sexual intent at its core.
Luckily this is very easy to do, because like me...you find sexy girls, well, sexy.
I allow myself to feel sexual around them by looking her directly in the left eye and imagining what it would feel like to be kissing/having sex with her.
The beauty of this is once you allow the intense feelings to rush through you without embarassment or shame, or even trying to control them...the sexual vibe spreads to your eye contact, your voice tone, and how you move.
You become completely congruent.
Sexual tension is built with all these body language elements, along with deep eye contact while thinking sexy thoughts, slowing and lowering your voice, leaving lots of pauses and silences while still holding eye contact.
This is something you MUST start doing, and everything else will fall into place. Its not about what you say...its about how you say it.
[–]Zwingel 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
We still dont know your socks colour
[–]SerThrowalat 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Long term watcher on this sub....
As a 20 year old who has never had a long term relationship. What would you recommend I do to break out of my rut, I am not bad at talking with girls and I end up finding out that alot of girls I know do in fact fancy me. Though I am awful at escalating things and breaking out my bubble, always flirting but never committing to anything more...
2.With a view for the long term both in the arena of one-night stands and long term relationships, what can I do to make myself attractive and approachable to women.
Thanks!
[–]LegitAnswers1 points 11 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
Do people mistaken you for Christian Bale? lol
[–]sedditz 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Hi Christian,
Thanks for taking the time to do this AMA.
I have been day gaming for 2 months. I have made significant progress and had a lot of fun. My progress has consisted of fun interactions and a few number closes. No dates so far.
These past few weeks have been a little tough. I am finding that I am losing the ability to approach and AA is appearing again. Overall my skill has been very volatile these past few weeks. Its tough and I try my best to push through, but these days I feel I am at square one. Do you have any suggestions to get past this rut? It's very hard to keep pushing when you start to feel like youve lost all of your gains. Thanks again buddy.
[–]vxStarkxv 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I remember that you talk about a breathing technique in bed in one of your articles. If you put your conscious in your breathing, you are not anymore fully present, am I wrong ? And if your have other techniques like this one ... The same question when you think in your mind you are having sex with her. It's difficult to think that and be fully present at the same time.
[–]ChrisBale12 points 11 years ago [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link
I feel as though you are jumping to conclusions without having really tried it(the feeling like you are having sex with her)
The breathing technique is called triangular breathing and its to control premature ejaculation. Breath in for 7...hold for 7...exhale for 7. You got it mixed up...it makes you MORE present with her.
Also when I am looking at a woman in the eye...i am not imagining having sex...I am attempting to physically feel it, which turns me on and draws me into the moment more, with a VERY powerful and distinctive presence that will seduce for you.
Understand that a woman doesnt even have to like you to sleep with you, all you have to do is inspire enough horniness in her to want to release it. Thats not from manipulation...but from feeling your masculine energy engulf her in a sense.
This, again, is the power of masculine intent.
[–]vxStarkxv 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
Ok I thought it was more about imagining than feeling. So you never visualize having sex with her but you are feeling like if your were having sex with her.
[–]ChrisBale11 points 11 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
No...feel it!
[–]santisabor29 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Hi Chris, I'm a big fan and I've been following your stuff for a while and I love them, so here goes the questions..
Im a teenager(17) who try to get his shit handled I started meditation, reading and doing exercise but I still need to handle the part of my life that involves womans , so what would be your advice for someone as young as me... also a good way to put it is what would be your advice to your younger self? What are the things that you wish that you know earlier?
Final question: I'm commit to this so what would be a good roadmap to start approaching womans? Could you give some task that increase the difficulty to desensitize myself of the fear of approaching?
Thanks for all the content you have already put out, take care.
[–]artjimmerson11 points 11 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
Anytime I try to use masculine intent I am called a "fuckboy" by girls (they only tell me in retrospect when I ask them why I was not given a second date)
"fuckboy" is a term used to denote a guy who is a player.
[–]moonsidian 1 point2 points3 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
What's your opinion on /r/NoFap with regard to seduction?
[–][deleted] 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[permanently deleted]
[–]TheSicilianDude 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
What do you think are some good (or even some unusual) places to meet women BESIDES nightspots? I still love meeting girls while out at the bars but I think it gets old sometimes. I'm not always trying to pull girls home for a ONS. I find it a bit overrated, honestly.
Also, do you take on a different approach to girls in different settings? Like meeting girls at coffee shops versus music festivals versus sporting events, etc.
[–]Madafaka_Jones 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Hey Chris, I've noticed you mention meditation a lot when you talk about changing your day to day and improving yourself. In what ways has meditation changed you, and how can I start to explore it?
[–]ChrisBale12 points 11 years ago [recovered] (4 children) | Copy Link
Wow! where do I start.
I was crippled with social anxiety right up until the age of about 22. The level of anxiety I felt to even leave my house and have to go to the shop was terrifying, because I knew there was a possibility i would bump into someone i knew in the shop and get really embarrassed and awkward, plus I would of had to speak to the cashier person.
Seriously, i was super confused and weak in who i was. My full story is on my website.
The stress i felt used to make me physically sick, where i would have swollen glans in my throat each week.
Once I started to practice meditation, all those issues slowly began to come to the surface and resolve themselves, combined with practical fear facing and changing my over all lifestyle. Making my own decisions and owning myself.
Meditation was one of the most important catalysts in changing my life, and is an underlying principle within my seductions and coaching.
It made me so god damn chill.
If i were you, do a meditation like Anapana(sp). Its nostril breathing. Look it up online and do 10-20 mins a day every day or how ever you are instructed to.
If you are serious about it though, take a 10 Vipassana mediation retreat.
[–]BarronVonSnooples 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
What he says about the nostril technique is legit, you guys need to be doing it. It will obliterate your anxieties.
[–]Madafaka_Jones 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Thanks man I am serious about starting so I will look it up.
[–]vxStarkxv 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Will you ever post some infield videos to show us how you interact with women ?
[–]threwout123451 points 11 years ago [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
I would like to thank you for taking the time to do this AMA. I would like to begin with questions regarding my height. I have found that as a 5'6, 22 years old male, I am a bit on the shorter side. I am not normally self-conscious about my height but I have found it does give me a significant disadvantage for my success with girls. I witnessed this the past couple of weeks the hard way (my taller friend who was in a relationship for years and never gamed girls at a party went out with me one night to a party and didn't even approach and managed to get a pretty cute girl to dance and make out with him first while I approached and got nothing out of it). This has made me think that there is no point in me going out to clubs and night life in general to meet girls, as these places are venues that are superficial by nature, places where girls size you up in 5 seconds and if they don't like what they see, you have no chance. That being said, I do think my strengths lie in day game and interactions requiring conversation as I think I can converse to the point where girls can get comfortable with me. Am I overthinking this height issue or are my concerns rational? It's not as if I am not displaying confident body language (I work out and I try to maintain great posture at all times), but going out to these loud clubs with my friends who seem to have better successes with girls has discouraged me. If my concerns are not rational, what can I do to improve my future interactions at these venues?
Second, I do not have too much experience with girls in my past and I think that has translated to my complete lack of knowledge of what to do when I want to attract a girl, particularly conversation. In the past, I have had problems interviewing girls and asking too many questions, but even knowing that this isn't optimal, I do not know how to carry conversations with girls now. How do I form that emotional connection with girls that make me more attractive to them? I thought it was all about getting girls to open up and making them feel comfortable. Yet, I talked to a random girl once for 40 minutes while smoking a cigarette with her and felt we were pretty comfortable with each other, but when it was time for me to go, she refused to give me her number to my surprise. Would you recommend using FORD to connect with girls on a more emotional level? What should I be thinking about when I talk to girls to get them to open up?
Finally, I tend to be one of those people who tend to overanalyze and overthink relationships in general. While this can be good at times, particularly when I give close friends and family advice, it is a game killer when I try to talk to girls. How can I stop thinking so much and being more confident in the things I do? Can I balance thinking about the things I do before I do them and just going for whatever my instinct tells me to go for at the time?
Thanks, I apologize if the post was a bit too long.
[–]ChrisBale11 points 11 years ago* [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
If my concerns are not rational, what can I do to improve my future interactions at these venues?
I had a friend who was just shorter than you...and he used to do amazing with girls. He was actually the first guy that i ever classified as a natural.
The difference between him and other guys his size, was he accepted it, and used it to his advantage. he would get away with being WAAAY more sexually playful than anyone else i knew at the time which i think was because of his height.
On first glance he was not in any way threatening to girls which allowed him to easily approach girls anywhere and open them most of the time without any stress.
I vaguely remember him stopping a girl in a mall when we were shopping for beer and saying "Yo...have you ever got drunk with a sexy leprachaun(he was Irish and tiny)"...Now this guy was not into pick up or anything...BUT, he emminated what i now teach in guys which is owning who you are and your situation, and most importantly NOT taking any of this, or yourself too seriously.
Sure the big tall handsome guy might get the girl...but Danny had an amazing ability to make the girl so comfortable with him so quickly that he would be hitting on her blatantly without shame.
I dont care how you look or how tall you are...that vibe is attractive!
I think the issue for you lies in the same way it does for most people who have a preconceived limiting belief...they wear it as a filter in every interaction, and their action are congruent with it, so you may actually be rejecting yourself.
If you feel like something is an issue...then just call it out. It doesnt matter, and will only serve to empower you.
To answer the other 2 questions...this article will serve you well my friend:
http://www.masculineintent.com/how-to-hold-a-conversation-like-a-man/
In general, be bolder and realize that you are a sexual being and you can and will make the women in your life feel amazing, unique, and special by how you give them what they ACTUALLY desire, oppossed to what we assume they desire. I hope this helps mate
[–]donutsilovedonuts1 points 11 years ago* [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
Hi Chris,
So I'm a senior in college, 22, and I'm still a virgin. It sucks and it has caused me a great deal of frustration and anger. It wasn't until the last month or two that this has come to the forefront of my mind as something I need to get through, since I'm five weeks from graduation. I've had two opportunities to get laid, once in high school but I didn't feel like I was ready for the girl, and then once this last summer but she was a pretty unattractive girl I met on Tinder and I didn't feel like wasting my virginity on her. At this point, I've built up so much pressure around losing my virginity that I don't know whether to just have sex and treat it like its not a big deal or to wait until I meet a girl I really like. And the latter doesn't really seem possible for a guy who's about to graduate. Anyway, any words of wisdom will help. For the record I'm in decent shape and I'm at least decent-looking. I'm pretty torn about what I want right now and I guess I wanted to hear your thoughts.
Thanks for what you do. Also, good to hear you are meditating. I started practicing a few years ago but I gotta say it hasn't really helped me with the lady stuff thus far.
edit: I should also say that I'm most interested in the long-term, cause-rather-than-symptom approach, but it doesn't seem possible to accomplish all that in my limited time left here.
[–]ChrisBale13 points 11 years ago* [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
Hey man.
Its funny, I only spoke to a guy with a similar situation as yours a few days ago. Realistically, there is a lot I want to say to you and share with you so you can sort this in your own and empowered way, owning your decision and not having it come from peer pressure, or social pressure.
I told myself I was going to offer a free skype session to someone in this AMA...and I would like it to be you, if you want to go ahead with it. 30 mins, free of charge. If you are interested in this hit me up at [email protected] and we can arrange to have a chat on one of my self granted days off.
I would like to write a detailed response here, but there is so much to take into account, which is why a short skype chat is much more effective.
Chris
[–]Elfclan30 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
So you are from spain I guess. What do you about the spanish ¨player¨ Mario Luna?
[–]zserjk1 points 11 years ago [recovered] (2 children) | Copy Link
Hi there, not sure if i am late, but i am guessing you are traveling a lot in new places.
How do you set up new social circles around there, aside from the ones you work with. I have found my self in a reseted enviroment lately, and i am pushing myself into going out solo etc. I 've met some people others i find they have value others dont, how do you befriend them even more without being annoying.
Also second question. I find approaching easier if i have a good "trickjoke" to tell, cause immediately it sets a positive vibe in the interaction. I 've been using the one with the "93% masturbate at bath the other 7% sings a particular song" joke. But after many repetitions it getting boring for me, are you aware of others?
Thanks in advance.
[–]ChrisBale12 points 11 years ago* [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
By being friendly with everyone you meet and show interest in them as a human being. Such as going to a coffee shop or a bar and chatting with the bar man or barista and asking them about themselves/where is good to go, explain you are here alone and looking to find out more. I often get girls to give me tours of the places I am in, which is also a great way to seduce.
Just be friendly and social man. For me, this is the hardest part as i am a very introverted persona, and prefer hanging out with pretty girls and having sex rather than a load of dudes in a bar playing beer pong.
To answer your question about approaching with a trickjoke(whatever that is)...there is no need. The reason you like this, is because you are not comfortable with displaying your attraction for them.
If thats currently what you are hiding behind then I advise changing it.
The most common "opener" i use is something simple along the lines of "Hi...How are you/who are you?" and simple go from there. Your reason for being there should be direct, so what you say is not all that important. Less bells and whistles, as the guys who use this stuff are basically overcompensating for their lack of comfort owning their sexuality.
Actually, if you were under my wing, i would give you that mission. Lose the shit. "excuse me...hi...whats your name". In every way that is more bold/confident, and direct than anything else. You know why your there, you find her attractive and you want her to some degree. She knows that. If she doesnt...then tell her!
Let me know how it goes at [email protected]
[–]moonsidian 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I just read your "French Hostel Beauty" article on your site. What does "wanna come beat up some midgets?" mean? Haha
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
What was the lowest point of your life? How did you get out of it?
Hey, hello I have finally found a way to ask you the question without sounding creepy. I read that atracction has limited time, but what about those girls that actually fall in love with a guy(and and most of the time the guy has never talked to them) for YEARS! and feel nervous and all of those stuff when the guy is around. Basically how to make a girl fall in love with you(is different of: how to attract them, becuase the atracttion will fade away quite easily if you do not make a move).
[–]hippoontoast 0 points1 point2 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Hey chris, not sure if you are still reading these but boy could i use your help.
i am 22, pretty tall, naturally have wide shoulders and work out a bit, so my physique is decent (not great). my face is not great, but i have received compliments on occasion from women. i live in germany in a college town with a large amount of women. i am ok at opening women and i can usually make them laugh. i was horrific at game up until last year when i figured out how to kiss girls and sometimes take them home (basically i would just grab their waist and then go for the kiss, allthough i have also been rejected doing this a few times) i have an additional problem which is that since i was 18 i have suffered from back pain and then when i was twenty even worse, pelvic pain. it took me a long time to figure out that these pains were psychosomatic (or mindbody) pains, they were life destroying but caused by my thoughts. there was nothing wrong with me physically. i still get these pains sometimes when i am nervous, mainly in night clubs. if you don't know what i am talking about, google dr sarno, a doctor who specialises in these things and whose books saved my life.
at the start of the year this was supposed to be the year i finally figured shit out with women. i have (maybe had) the ability to get women interested and my phone is full of beautiful women who i have flirted with. here is the problem: i can not fuck them. and if i really like them i can also not kiss them.
my problem is i can not build sexual tension and i can not pull the trigger. i can't dance with them, i can't touch them and i can not mask the fact that i am often uncomfortable. people keep telling me to smile when i am at a club. it is not really that i don't know how to do it, it is that i literally can't. i can not bring myself to do it.
this is a bit of a ramble, and i am a bit drunk after a night out with some friends (where agian, i attracted a girl, got her to come with us to the club in a bar beforehand, before doing nothing and my friend danced and made out with her).
i really need your coaching but i am skint. i guess my question is what can i do to a) get out of my head (meditation?) b) learn to really build sexual tension and c) pull the trigger?
i feel like i have wasted and am wasting my life, i need a change quickly.
hope you read this, love your stuff.
[–]Elfclan30 -2 points-1 points0 points 11 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
How do you make a girl ¨emotional-dependient¨for you. Like connect in a deep way that she basically cannot live without you.
P.S. just interested in the theory I do not want to do that.
[–]ChrisBale18 points 11 years ago [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link
Eh....really weird question. Not sure where its coming from.
I have done such things in the past...and I would never do it again. Why on earth would you want someone emotionally dependant on you....its horrible.
This is the first question so far I shall not answer.
[–]Elfclan30 -3 points-2 points-1 points 11 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Is science bro. When a scientist ask itself : what would happen if a human is forced to drink X amount of water. I am just curios of the Answer, I respect your desicion, though
[–]7relos 2 points3 points4 points 11 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
You sound like a manipulating skeezeball. Seduction is not about enslaving women, its about empowering them so they can empower you in return. Asserting dominance through confidence and charm is not the same thing as "owning" a woman.
[–]Elfclan30 -1 points0 points1 point 11 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Do I have not the right to sastify my curiosity?
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