So, first a bit of background: this was the first time I had ever approached a girl I didn't know and struck up a conversation with her; and definitely the first time I've asked a girl for her number.

I've been lurking on seddit for a couple of months and have also read No More Mr Nice Guy and I'm currently reading Models. I've recently got out of a 4 year relationship and need to improve what little game I have.

I was out for a few drinks with work colleagues. We'd gone to a few bars already and it was pretty quiet everywhere. By about 9:00 everyone had left (we'd been out since 4:30), except me and one other guy.

We decided to go to one last bar before getting our respective trains home (yeah, it sucks how early the "last" trains are around here).

We ordered some drinks at the bar and there's a mixed group at a table by the window. There's a pretty girl sat there who looks familiar. My friend and I just chat and we see some other people from work, so have a chat with them too. All the while, this girl and I keep catching each others eye and smiling, maintaining eye contact for a few seconds. I kept psyching myself up to go and introduce myself but then made excuses: "Oh, well now she's talking to someone so I don't want to interrupt" etc - I need to work on not making excuses and just doing it

Eventually, she comes over to the bar to order a drink and stands next to me and this is a summary of what happened, which I'll paraphrase (I promise you, it's not smooth!):

 

[she looks at me and smiles, I look at her and smile back]

 

Me: Hi.

Her: Hi.

Me: You look familiar. (move over Casanova!)

Her: Yeah, you do too.

Me: Do you work at ****?

Her: I do, do you?

Me: Me too.

Her: Oh cool, etc etc.

 

[conversation about what job she does, how long for, what brings her out tonight etc. I ask her what her name is. We have a little game of "guess my middle name", have a joke about how "common" they both are. Then I decide to try out some questions I'd read on Seddit to make it a bit more interesting]

 

Me: [linking in to talking about her job and if she enjoys it] If you could do anything, with no chance of failure, what would you do?

Her: Oh wow! [tells me about her time in Australia, wanting to own a small farm, some stuff about dancing, a whole heap of material to talk about]

 

[she mentioned that she got the ring she was wearing when she was in Australia. Perfect opportunity to take her hand and look at her ring]

 

Me: What made you pick it?

Her: When it catches the light, it reflects some really beautiful colours.

 

[slowly tilting her hand in the shitty lighting of the bar]

 

Me: Yeah, I'm not seeing it [there was some dead-pan joking around her about her ring and a bit of touching on the top of her arm to show that I was playing around]

 

[we continued to chat and then her friends got up to leave for another bar. She asks if I want to come, but I say I have to get the train (shit!), but say that it was nice talking with her and ask her for her number as it would be good to talk again *(I could have been a lot smoother at this point)*. She types her number into my phone and we walk part way to the next bar together, chatting about our plans for the weekend, until I have to head off for the station, in a different direction.]

 

Me: [As we parted ways] See you later. It was nice talking to you. (I touched her on the arm, but could have gone for a hug)

Her: [All smiles] It was nice talking to you too.

 

And that, was my first ever approach and #-close. It definitely wasn't smooth or slick, but I must have done something right. Now to figure out what to text her and set up a date. All feedback is more than welcome.

 

What went well:

  • Lots of eye contact.
  • Did some kino (I'm not really a touchy person so it felt a bit awkward at first, but seemed well received).
  • We had a joke around and good conversation (I think the question about having no chance of failure was a good one. Thanks Seddit!)
  • There were a few silences, but I didn't feel that they were awkward, and we had some good eye contact during these.
  • Having my friend there (he left about half way through, to catch his train) was good as I didn't feel that there was as much pressure on me to keep conversation rolling.

 

What I could improve on:

  • Approaching!
  • Develop my conversational skills.
  • More kino. I could have gone for a hug if I'd had more confidence
  • I could have set up a date there and then, I think.
  • Format my [FR] post a bit better!