It's 4am here.. I can't sleep I'm a bit guilty. I went on second date with a girl from tinder. I admit I had feeling for her but it quickly fade when she doesn't display the intelligence I'm seeking in making conversation emotionally stimulating. So I just went along to seduce her by just escalating cuz she's kinda hot so I say why not.

Its like I'm an addict of pickup. Where I must score if not I'm not gonna be proud of myself. Along the way sending her back I kept escalating. One thing lead to another 10 mins before I reach her place I park somewhere dark and start fingering then fuck her. In a way she was enjoying, it was mutually consensual.. She even cuddle with me a bit after sex...

But as I then sending her back (she was asleep at back) i start feeling guilty.. I felt like I just used her for my own selfish gain. I mean I care for her but not that much. As I reach her home I woke her up asking "do u want to get some late night snack before u go home?" she just sleepily shook her head and went back while saying "see you".. I saw her walking tirelessly to the gate. The guilt I'm feeling deepen.

I'm feeling so guilty as I type this. Thinking of sending some text asking are u okay?... But.. I don't know my mind is a mess. Any advice..

TLdr : hookup for sake of ego... Feeling like piece of shit.