I grew up in suburb of a big city and it seemed likes the general route was to graduate high school > go to college > party your ass off, experiment, hookup with tons of girls > get your degree > maybe party a bit more but you’re more focused on your career and looking for something serious > get married and live the white picket fence life.

I personally didn’t have the traditional crazy college party and I don’t feel like I’ve gotten the hookup phase out of my system yet.

I kind of feel bad for feeling this way, because I’m 26 years old and I feel as if I shouldn’t WANT to feel like I need more notches under my belt.

But I still do, even though I have had my fair share of experiences (on the lower end) but I still feel like I need to measure up to other peoples lay counts. And I don’t even know exactly how much EVERYONE has had. I just feel like I should have more to feel like I’m good enough. Good enough as a human being, good enough as a desirable man. Good enough as a man who has had his fair share.

This may throw you off as well, but I’ve been in a relationship on and off for 4 years with my girlfriend and she knows I deal with this insecurity. We have a special relationship where I could do one night stands if I want, but it has to be with someone she doesn’t know. Every weekend though, I love seeing her, I feel so content and happy being with her, and betw. cold approaching strangers at a bar/club I enjoy being with my girlfriend.

But I still feel like I need to measure up since I feel like I haven’t had enough relative to the average man.

I don’t want to want to feel like I need to measure up anymore. I just want to be content.