This past weekend I was up at my alma mater for graduation (I am a year out). I have great social proof there --- it is a very small school and EVERYBODY knows me. Anyway, on a previous visit up I started noticing some IOIs from this one girl M, so I decided I would try to sleep with her.

Come saturday night, a bunch of people are just hanging out in a room, getting together to drink and have some fun. I start up some pandora music and start ordering people to take shots, and become the de facto leader of the party. I text M to come over to the dance party, she asks which room, I say "upstairs in blah dorm, follow your ears". She comes by, kino, etc. etc. I make her drive to vons (only one still sober) to buy us more beer, when we get there I give her a piggy back ride to the front of the store and she's loving every minute of it. We get back, hang out a little more, and I suggest "hey let's go somewhere."

We head back to her room, and we shoot the shit for a while in her room before I go for the K-close. First big mistake; there was no reason to wait so long, and doing so let they buying temperature cool down.

We make out for a while, then she pulls away (far away, like separating our bodies) and says "I can't" (with a pretty serious business face). I had overheard her at the party earlier talking about how she was "sort of seeing someone", but from other things she said it was pretty clear that she was not that into him. Nevertheless, I sort of just shut down and saying something lame like "Ok", get my stuff, and leave.

Big fails on my part.

  • By acting the way I did, I gave the impression that I was only interested in her for sex. No girl wants to feel like a slut, and I'm pretty sure I helped her feel like one that night.
  • Instead, I think I should have either continued teasing her, keeping in frame, and see if she maintains the LMR, or stop the sexy time and go back to a lower level of intimacy. For example, saying "ok, no problem, let's watch a movie" and then putting something on on the laptop.