How does one become confident?

2021-10-23T14:28:09+00:00

Practice makes perfect

You got to take it slow as it's not going to happen over night... Might take years.

But you got to do more social things. Bars, library, social events, parties, festivals.... Whenever there's people. Go to it. You got to talk to people. Start conversation with random strangers.

Usually when I'm at a bar, I buy the nearest guy to me a beer. It's only $4 and you have a new friend that owes you a beer. I buy guys a beer, because they know I'm not trying to sleep with them and they always pay me back. Women will take it as a complement and walk away. So I don't buy women drinks.

But when you buy that guy a beer, he will open up. He will introduce you to his friends that are coming later. You will meet more people and be in with their inner circle. You will then have the ability to talk to more people and practice

Now remember. This can more than likely take years

JacobMoogberg69 · 2021-10-23T16:07:26+00:00

I would start by making an account of what negative beliefs and thoughts you have about yourself. Make a list in word. Then look up cognitive distortions and Cognitive Behavior Therapy and pick a few tools to question and challenge those negative beliefs. This will take some time and practice.

As you begin seeing yourself in a more realistic light, it will become easier to accept yourself just as you are. Many men put a bunch of conditions before they can accept themselves. As soon as I start earning better money, they say, or as soon as I put on some muscle, or as soon as I have slept with at least 10 girls. But no matter how much they achieve, it is never enough, because they move the goal post further and further.

All validation and approval must come from the inside and this means becoming your own best friend, liking and respecting yourself. This simply entails not doing things that make you like yourself or respect yourself less. If you have done things like that in the past, own them and put them to rest.

This will create a very healthy self esteem on which basis you can start building confidence. Confidence is simply knowing the outcome of your actions.

Sufficient-Cry-9163 · 2021-10-23T14:35:44+00:00

Being confident is the same thing as being delusional. There is no way to know that some stranger is going to like you. So you just need to delude yourself into believing they will. Then when they don't, you need to think they are too much of a loser to get how great you are.

froze_gold · 2021-10-23T16:08:43+00:00

Achievements and options. Think about it, being able to fill spaces in your life with what you want whenever you want would make you feel unstoppable.

That's why people say "get an abundance." In a sense, the abundance mentality is one form of natural confidence. If a woman rejects you, why would you gaf if you have an abundance of other options?

Unfortunately, these things aren't easy to get. You cant simply "fake it". You need to go out and actually fucking get it.

Reason "fake it until you make it" is such bullshit advice is because you eventually give away the fact that you're faking it.

For real confidence, actions must be taken

Empty-Insect-4519 · 2021-10-23T18:51:06+00:00

Came to a really sucky realization that I only have any confidence when I don't need it.

CompetitionFair7686 · 2021-10-23T15:27:49+00:00

First you need to be aware of everything that makes you insecure. Are you afraid of rejection? of what other people think of you? Worried about fitting in and being seen as cool by others? worried about making a fools of yourself? worried about negative judgment from the girls you talk to? Worried that people won’t like you because of some physical flaw you have? That’s the first thing you need to be aware of, after knowing that there comes the next steps, but to find out the next steps first you need to be aware of your insecurities

PatientAssociation62 · 2021-10-23T15:31:21+00:00

Is a great question, actually. And one I am working through right now. I guess what's helped me the most is to read a few good books and start learning some basics. Competence is the cousin of confidence and just getting some basics down has helped immensely. I am also working on myself a little bit, working towards not being so emotionally invested in what women think of me (neediness). My confidence has slowly been increasing day by day. I talk to women more, women notice me more and have been more receptive.

Radio_Unique · 2021-10-23T15:48:59+00:00

By having/being something someone ur proud of

totalwarwiser · 2021-10-24T01:03:09+00:00

Recognize all your fears and deal with them, not by ignoring or blocking them, but by being honest with yourself, not making excuses and confronting them.

And earn power. Power is the ability to change the world. That includes fame, status, health, muscles, beauty, money. The more power you have, the more confident you will be. And its best if this power comes from within, so you are less prone to lose it. Its better to dominate a trade instead of depending on an outside source of income.

That is why you should focus on yourself and consolidate the source of your power.

Work on your mind, your body, your soul and your spirit. These four are essential, and many people become frail because one of them is weak. So its better to be 80% good at all of them instead of being 100% in three and 20% in the fourth; this one can destroy you. A weak body creates sickness. A weak mind creates vice and ignorance. A weak heart makes you prone to strong emotions and loss of control. A weak spirit makes you prone to hopelessness and loss of meaning to live.

Empty-Insect-4519 · 2021-10-24T01:06:02+00:00

Work on yourself in every aspect and people( especially women) will notice the hard work and you won’t need to do too much to get her

helppleasemeplease · 2021-10-24T04:16:50+00:00

Hit the gym, get good fitting clothes, smell good

Title	How does one become confident?
Author	Empty-Insect-4519
Upvotes	1
Comments	21
Date	October 23, 2021 2:01 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/qe5eb4/how_does_one_become_confident/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-does-one-become-confident.1273743 https://theredarchive.com/post/1273743

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