Struggling with oneitis

Sea_Particular_9086 · 2022-05-05T21:05:38+00:00

You gotta get over it. There are plenty of women who you will consider a 9.5/10 in your eyes. Some people will be in your life for a season and some will be in your life forever. Best way to get over something is to keep yourself busy by working on your goals, hanging out with friends and family, etc.

Just enjoying life

sp1d3rd1ck · 2022-05-05T21:26:50+00:00

Just posted about this - similar scenario, it crushed me as well. Not sure about your situation entirely, but this was because a new (extreme downgrade) guy entered her life.

It takes a little while to get over it, but you need to get out there and talk to more women - this is what helped for me, and hang out with friends. If you can, do NOT talk to her. This will seem ridiculous and will be hard, but dont keep feeding the mentality of 'she is a princess and turned me down'.

Don't stay around and try to be her friend (this will hurt you more)

For me, talking to other women is what helped the most, as of right now you are fixated on one. I went through a few weeks of thinking she was the one, there are no others like her, she is beautiful. I started getting out of my comfort and doing cold approaches / talking to women at events I attended. Quickly, she was getting off my mind. There are plenty of better women out there who will want you just as much as you want them, give it some time.

I then realized I was being dumb the whole time, she was only very attractive in my eyes because of how much I liked her - your brain does this. Meeting new women will give you a perspective on this.

I dont know if you feel used or not, so this next part only really applies if so. Having absolutely no communication (difficult when you see and used to talk every day) is necessary for you to get over this and re-evaluate if you should stay friends. When it happened to me, I was sure I'd never get over it. I would be stuck forever over her. Less than 2 months later, I dont look at her the same way. I dont have the feelings, I dont see her as attractive as I used to, and I am glad she is out of my life.

Also removing yourself from her life will flip the dynamic - you heal while she misses your attention and company. They will rethink things, as this is what happened to me (she has tried to start small talk a couple times, I ignore as you should).

Apologies for this being long, but it's what worked for me and i feel infinitely better than I did. Focus on yourself, and meet other women.

Oneitis is just a shitty mindset you need to get out of, recognize it when you start to have those thoughts and shut them off.

Sandvicheater · 2022-05-05T23:53:27+00:00

Lol there only like 0.0001% of women on this planet that can be rated a 9/10 without the use of makeup and cosmetic surgery. Wait till the make up comes off and I guarantee you she'll be a 7 at best.

2022-05-05T23:36:51+00:00

So were you actually dating her, or were you just friends but you had hopes that it could turn into something more? I know you said “seeing” but honestly, oneitis warps your mind. You could convince yourself that you’re seeing a girl and that you have some deep connection that in reality is not mutual. This is important because if there’s one lesson you should learn here, it’s to shoot your shot. If you like a girl ask her out on a date, and be clear that it’s a date, not just hanging out. She’ll say yes or she’ll say no, but you’ll have your answer. Otherwise all you’ll be is friends.

Either way, remember that every guy has been there. Even the biggest alpha Chad you know, though he’ll probably never admit it. It sucks, and the best thing you can do is give it time and talk to more women.

Depending on how bad it is, you might consider blocking her on social media, texting, everything. Maybe even avoid places you might run into her. Not everybody needs to do this but it definitely helps.

because I know any girl I meet from now won’t be as beautiful as her, because I was lucky af to even get a chance with this girl

This is the oneitis talking. It’s not reality. Did you ever have a high school crush? Probably back then you thought she was perfect, but now you haven’t thought of her in forever. There are billions of other women out there. Yeah maybe this chick is unique in her personality or whatever, but you’ll meet more women and eventually you’ll forget about this one. One day you’ll realize that you haven’t thought of her in a long time, and that’s when you’ll know it’s done with.

bogues04 · 2022-05-06T13:34:35+00:00

Yea I’m 36 i think I’m at my peak with girls right now. You’ve got time.

PatientAssociation62 · 2022-05-21T16:38:52+00:00

I used to have horrible one-itis so I can relate. I got to thinking what is the root of one-itis? It seems to be a scarcity mindset and believing that the one girl is the best option one could ever hope to get.

You seem to be putting her on a pedestal because she is hot. You say very little about what else she has to offer besides looking nice in yoga pants. I used to do the same thing, but now I tend to focus on what she has to offer me as a WHOLE, not just her looks. And that has helped greatly with one-itis.

Title	Struggling with oneitis
Author	NoCommission8177
Upvotes	9
Comments	12
Date	May 5, 2022 8:50 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/uj6y40/struggling_with_oneitis/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/struggling-with-oneitis.1260389 https://theredarchive.com/post/1260389

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