Can't approach.. don't want to feel pathetic

thwy9999 · 2012-08-30T03:14:45+00:00

I'll probably have to approach 400 girls just to get 1 date.

Yeah, with that fucking attitude. You are the shit, remember that.

i'd rather have no date than be rejected 399 times.

So a girl rejects you, what is the big deal? Some particular girl was having an off day, wasn't into you, etc... WHO FUCKING CARES? her opinion shouldn't matter at all to you... yours is the one that counts. And you need to change your attitude, look up some stuff on inner game here in the sidebar, it gets much more in depth.

There's just something unfair about this situation, that girls don't like me because of how i am/how i look, while their panties will instantly drop if a more attractive guy approaches them.

Let me ask you this. How many girls have you ACTUALLY approached? My guess is nowhere near 400... Shit, my guess is nowhere even near 20. You are basing your ideas on some image you have in your head of yourself, and it's going to shine through. Stop blaming your looks, etc. Everyone has insecurities about stuff, yet I see people who I wouldn't deem attractive and I know they aren't rich with drop dead gorgeous girls. Yeah, looks matter, but nowhere near as much as you think.

Proof? Friend of mine who isn't considered super attractive is married to a 9-10. I was kicking it off with a girl and some 300 pound confident as fuck dude comes over and amogs the shit out of me and makes out with the chick. By conventional looks standards, I had him beat by a lot... but through confidence? He had me destroyed, and guess what girls are attracted to.

And rejections? Yeah, it's gonna happen. But who cares? A baseball player is considered good if he has a .300 average. That means he sucked 70% of the time. Same with every other sport.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself, get off your ass, and go meet some women dammit!

chrismjohnstone · 2012-08-30T04:58:56+00:00

Look at it this way. If you and I were at a club and I got rejected 19 times, and took home the 20th girl, and you sat around not getting rejected, who wins there?

Inner game man. Be confident enough in yourself that a girl rejecting you doesn't affect you. You don't know why these girls are saying no. There could be a million reasons other than just you.

paulgualtieri · 2012-08-30T04:59:44+00:00

Dude, i'm a 6'1" white guy with muscles, and I get rejected most of the time too. Being nice looking alone won't make anyone's panties drop instantly most of the time, except maybe overweight girls with few options.

If you keep thinking "I'm not worth anything," you'll almost surely be broadcasting that to everyone you meet through your demeanor. Men and women. Bad for job prospects and bad for love life. So work on changing that.

And there's no path to getting laid that doesn't involve a lot of rejection, especially with cold approaches. The pathetic people are those who cannot approach, not those who get rejected. At least the guy who approaches has the balls to go for what he wants.

And every rejection matters less the more you've had. When it happens to me now, I forget about it pretty much instantly and move onto another in a matter of a minute or two. That's what you've gotta do.

rmbarnes · 2012-08-30T11:58:20+00:00

So you've never even done the 400 approaches to get one date, you just think that's what will happen, so you don't even try...

This is why you're low value.

thwy9999 · 2012-08-30T03:14:59+00:00

I'm by no means an expert at picking up women, but, as hard as it may be, try to not focus on rejection. Women generally find a more confident guy attractive. Just the fact that you have the balls to approach them will give you higher chances (in my opinion) than if you were to not talk to them at all. You'd be surprised at how much you underrate your own looks, especially if you're self-conscious. Maybe you aren't the best looking guy, neither am I, but try to find a girl who you think you'd be content with and just give it a go. If you're scared of not knowing what to say, have some practice conversations in the mirror with yourself.

thwy9999 · 2012-08-30T06:03:53+00:00

You're looking at rejection as being a bad thing. Rejection is not necessarily something bad- at it's worst, it's neutral, and at it's best it's good. You can get rejected for a multitude of reasons- insufficient game, bad day, she has a bad day, etc. The thing is, if she rejects you, who gives a fuck? She lost out on the chance of the best thing that ever could have happened to her- you- for whatever reason above that was stated. And you screened out another girl that wasn't one of the many that would be willing to fuck you or date you. That's called progress. And if you take each rejection as an indication of insufficent game that you need to improve, your game will only get better, and your chances of rejection will only be smaller. Things in life tend to only have as much power as we give them. And right now you sound like you're giving rejection all the power in the world, and for that reason it will scare you. If you blow through 400 girls (you probably won't til your first success) and only close the 401st, your game will have improved phenomnally from girl number 1. And that improvement will make girl number 402 so much easier to get. You may blow out number 403 and 404, but then you get 405-410 in a row. It's all about improvement. It will take longer for you to succeed then some people with which it came easily, but apparently that didn't stop you from putting in the work to succeed when you were in school and others got material faster then you. It should be no different with women. If you want success more then you are afraid of failure, you will find ways to achieve success.

thwy9999 · 2012-08-30T06:22:53+00:00

There's just something unfair about this situation, that girls don't like me because of how i am/how i look, while their panties will instantly drop if a more attractive guy approaches them.

Timothy Delaghetto. The guy from this video. Small Asian dudes, nothing going for them physically yet they have plenty of success with women. You've gotta stop blaming it on being Asian. Once you admit to yourself that the only thing holding yourself back is you, then you can begin to improve. Their panties will drop instantly if a more attractive guy approaches? Watch Keys to the VIP, some good looking jacked dudes in there with zero game who lose hard. If you really wanted to be good with women enough then you wouldn't care about the rejection, hard truth. I think its far more pathetic to not go for what you want in life than to get rejected by a few girls.

thwy9999 · 2012-08-30T07:58:22+00:00

You have to completely change your frame dude.

Look into Inner Game. Seriously.

What do you want me to say? Oh, you aren't the male equivalent of a HB9? Who the fuck is? You think only a good looking guy can be with a good looking woman? If you believe that, then of course you are going to fail.

If you aren't willing to take 399 rejections for YOU, then you don't deserve that 1 date.

This isn't about being Alpha, fuck that concept. If you approach a girl and she rejects you, look at your game, not your face. Say "Ok, what did I do? What did work, what didn't?" THAT is how you will improve. It's not like you are playing percentages here. This isn't the luck of the draw.

If a girl doesn't like you or rejects you, that's on HER, not you. You need to be awesome. Don't look for validation in other people. Look for it in yourself.

Don't project your frustration onto anything or anyone else, that's only going to make you bitter and twisted.

Be yourself, open girls day or night. Be outcome independent and work on being a better person. If girls reject you because they aren't interested, then they are the ones losing out, not you.

Good luck mate, don't take my belief in your ability for granted by not going out there and just talking to women.

FajitaofTreason · 2012-08-30T09:29:36+00:00

Try looking at it a different way. Facing your fears. You're afraid of rejection, and the only way to get over that is have it happen to you, face it head on. It's actually kinda fun to go up to a girl and talk to her, hit on her, get rejected, whatever. I was scared the first time I approached a girl, and I still have AA every time, but it's getting better. But enjoy yourself, there's no pressure, and it doesn't hurt to get rejected. Think about it as practicing conversation, you're improving yourself, so that when you meet that girl who is interested, you don't sound like you've never talked to a girl before.
Honestly I think having the AA makes you feel worse than the rejection. Once you say hello, the rest is easier.

lejeune__ · 2012-08-30T11:02:05+00:00

I've always dated girls that looked WAY better than I ever will. Just saying. It doesn't matter. AT. ALL.

Just try to get the best possible look you can. Workout, dress well, get a stylish haircut and then start approaching those girls.

noahbdh · 2012-08-30T13:24:51+00:00

Watch the how I met your mother when the figure out Barney gets rejected 99.6% of the time or something. If that was my life (mostly the awesome suits), I'd be way cool with that rejection.

RonTheRedditor · 2012-08-30T13:47:52+00:00

Stop reading; start doing. Forget all this silly bullshit that you've "read" on here, none of it applies because YOU didn't write it. Get your ass outta the house and approach. Getting rejected isn't nearly as bad as you think it is.

Stop thinking so much. Paralysis by analysis is exactly what you're going through, the Hamlet effect.

STOP thinking so much.

sunnydiv · 2012-08-30T18:24:52+00:00

I believe in you, you can do it You are a sedditer now, harder better faster stronger

rmbarnes · 2012-08-30T12:02:29+00:00

You say can't approach when you mean won't approach. There's a big difference.

Title	Can't approach.. don't want to feel pathetic
Author	thwy9999
Upvotes	11
Comments	41
Date	August 30, 2012 1:39 AM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/z1xrw/cant_approach_dont_want_to_feel_pathetic/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/cant-approach-dont-want-to-feel-pathetic.1338298 https://theredarchive.com/post/1338298

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