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Wildnight98 Archive

View 14 posts and 482 comments by Wildnight98 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Makes sense, thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/05/19 11:07 AM
1

I think you'll actually need to leave, though. For both of you. Curious why you came to that conclusion? Of course, I'm halfway out the door at this point, but just wondering.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/05/19 09:09 PM
6

Dude, awesome post. Loved your bullet points. Keep your foot on the gas.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/05/19 12:35 PM
1

OYS 20 Months. FMOFY Stats: Sidebar all. 52, 5’10”, 193lb, 12.3%bf. Lifts: SQ 350 for reps; DL 340 for reps; OHP 150 for reps; Bench 225 for reps. Married 15, together 24. Post-Epihpany Last week I posted about realizing I wasn't acting but making excuses for inaction. I got flamed for victim puking but I was really calling myself to act. Since then I have started moving. FMOFY. I met with my wife late last week and told her in a businesslike way that if things didn't improve dramatically, immed…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/05/19 12:19 PM
3

Overthinking, check. Mind-reading, check. Act and quit trying to think it all out, check.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/05/19 06:09 PM
2

Dead on. This process is very onion-like. I keep thinking I'm getting somewhere only to realize I just pulled another layer off, is all.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/05/19 12:36 PM
1

Thanks, edited.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/05/19 12:34 PM
1

Accountability.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/05/19 09:34 PM
4

This is an awesome summary. Should be sidebar'd somewhere.
/r/RPChristians07/05/19 06:54 PM
1

Good catch.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/05/19 07:10 PM
1

How is your wife and her weaknesses like your mom? Yeah. I've reproduced that relationship to some extent. One of the things I'm trying to unfuck, if possible. What is staying with her protecting you from? At the beginning, I was definitely dealing with fears of loss of the long relationship investment and all the usual things. I think I'm good now with the possibility of the relationship ending if it can't become the relationship that I want. I have to keep reminding myself though not to pay an…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/05/19 02:32 PM
1

I am starting to worry that it’s not going to work out with this woman. Her career will always be her priority and I will always be second. You won't know until you make yourself into a man that women yearn to have sex with. Why should it be easier with your wife?
/r/MarriedRedPill30/04/19 05:07 PM
1

OYS 19 months Stats: 52, 5’10”, 196lb, 12.3%bf. Lifts: SQ 350 for reps; DL 340 for reps; OHP 150 for reps; Bench 220 for reps. Married 15, together 24. Report: I haven’t OYS’d in a while because I know what I need to do and I am pretty accountable to myself. But u/snatch_haggis inspired me by checking in so I will too, good, bad, and pretty ugly. Since I started MRP in October 2018, I have lost over 30 pounds of fat and gained 30 pounds of muscle. Literally; I dieted from 207 to 163 (skinny fat)…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/04/19 02:41 PM
2

She said to me today "I have no idea what you're doing but I don't like it". (all delivered with grin<sup>1,</sup> ass pat) "How do you know until you try it? Oh wait—I thought you said LICK it." "It's OK, I'm an acquired taste, you'll come around" "If you knew what I was doing it would ruin the surprise" "man, you make it sound like I'm down in the basement trying to re-animate a corpse or something" <sup>1</sup> giant shit-eating grin EDIT: I think the main barrier to getting comfortable with …
/r/MarriedRedPill25/03/19 03:54 PM
1

I'm not talking with her about it anymore. That's the idea! As has been said many times on this sub, verbal intercourse is optional. I'm just carrying on with life and trying to ignore her generally bitchy and cold demeanor for the last two weeks. Your job is to be happy and making incremental steps toward being the captain. Read sidebar if captain concept is unfamiliar. Here's a quote I heard the other day that is just perfect (I'm paraphrasing from memory): a woman wants to go on an adventure …
/r/MarriedRedPill22/03/19 12:48 PM
1

I agree with w&s. You are about to engage in a long program of trial and error. Viewing everything through an apocalyptic lens tends to make you desperate, overly emotional and needy. Incremental improvements should be your goal. Keep telling yourself this. Hypergamy hates to leave a man who is improving. You don't need to show you're suddenly "fixed" to keep the status quo. Just keep improving day by day and her curiosity and fear of losing out will keep her around. Later you need to learn not …
/r/MarriedRedPill21/03/19 01:17 PM
1

I think she's judging the book by the title and assuming that I'm going to be "mean" now -- so her defenses are up and I can tell she's very skeptical and uncomfortable with the changes. She's been sleeping in my youngest kid's room since then. IDGAF. Rookie error. Get ready to hear "you're only [doing that/saying that/acting that way] because of what you read in that book" for the next year. Made the same one. You can recover. Here's the best response I found. Deliver with a shrug and don't rea…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/03/19 01:07 PM
2

Good to hear things are going well. I got to three plates / side squatting on SL5x5, four times a week, and was getting a little beat up. The 5x5 guy has an intermediate program that I started about a month ago, Madcow, too soon to say how well I like it. Will post when results appear. Everything you said about RP resonates, at some point you have to take the training wheels off and ride by yourself.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/03/19 12:59 PM
1

Outcome Independence ("OI") is what you are trying to develop now. It may be easier for you to become OI by learning you can get along just fine without sex for now, and can channel the energy into things that benefit you in the long term. "Sacrifice" has been described as "something you want that you give up in the present in order to get something better in the future." Become OI. As long as she can tell that you are upset when she denies sex, she'll use that stick (and for some period of time…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/12/18 03:38 PM
1

I don’t think we disagree. You have (correctly I think) described the relationship after an SMV mismatch is corrected (I.e. by lifting, being attractive and not unattractive etc) and he begins to have options. Prior to that, I would suggest that the fitness testing will not abate just because he AAs or otherwise handles a particular test in a non-beta way. Two sides of the same coin.
/r/RPChristians24/12/18 02:52 PM
4

The silent treatment stopped for me when I began taking advantage of the extra time to pursue my own interests.
/r/RPChristians22/12/18 02:42 PM
2

I think the principle is that if a woman perceives being upside-down in relative SMV, she will use her hamster to rationalize and excuse his behavior. If she thinks she is up in relative SMV, she will hamster everything he does into a fitness test.
/r/RPChristians22/12/18 02:41 PM
1

I've used this one: "Well, I can't argue with your feelings, now can I." That right there is an example of why the comments on this sub are a gold mine.
/r/askMRP10/12/18 09:25 PM
7

Your issue is that you are in an "in between" place where you don't have any power in the relationship to set boundaries effectively without hurting yourself in the long run by mate-guarding and appearing needy. Once you get yourself in shape (both physically and as an integrated man), she will want to please you more so than she does now and you'll have more options. You may not even care about it at all at that point. Leave it for now, it does not appear urgent in any case, and use this as a t…
/r/askMRP10/12/18 07:43 PM
2

You are catching this early, good for you. My advice: Read NMMNG. It’s for you (we people with domineering maternal figures). It will make a lot of sense. Move away from her. Far enough that you can deal with her only when you want to. Move somewhere there’s great job opportunities and a strong church. You need to gain weight. Lift and eat. Everything you need to know is linked around here somewhere. I suggest StrongLifts 5x5 to start (first year of lifting). Make guy friends.
/r/RPChristians29/11/18 03:40 PM
1

See the r/redpillwomen sub.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/11/18 03:31 PM
1

What consistency do you whip the egg whites to, and do you put milk in the shake also or just the eggs (and if so, how many)?
/r/MarriedRedPill16/11/18 06:01 PM
2

Best skill I ever learned was fasting. I'll never be fat again. Lots of online resources for it, check it out. I also built muscle while fasting and eating low carb. In fact I have gained 20 lbs of muscle in the latter half of this year on an all-meat high-calorie diet ("zero" carb; but I do get a few in protein shakes made with whole milk). My conclusion after a lifetime of yo-yo dieting is that counting calories is the most important part of any diet, and some people are more carb sensitive th…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/11/18 05:58 PM
-4

“there’s a lot of good stuff in that book but I don’t agree with everything it says”
/r/askTRP15/10/18 03:57 PM
1

When she was not nice, on the weekend I would take the kids and go have a fun adventure. Didn’t take her. Just said “we’re going to X, see you later.” Eventually she confronted me (stupidly, in front of the kids). Why are you excluding me from everything? That was my cue to say, baby, I love you but I’m not hanging around with people who aren’t nice. It wasn’t a cure-all but it did get me to the next “level.” She gave up the overt bitchiness.
/r/askMRP14/10/18 12:20 PM
5

OP this. There are two possibilities. One, she is trying to get you to kill the puppy, which seems unlikely because she’s being pretty explicit. Second, it’s a massive shit test / bid to manipulate you back into the beta box. Which is best responded to by calling her bluff and pouring more gas in the alpha tank. Since you want to stay, I say you add more alpha. Ignore her divorce talk except to repeat what you’ve already said, ie bring me papers anytime and I’ll help you pack. In the meantime, t…
/r/askMRP13/10/18 12:40 PM
11

You are at the stage, if you want to call it that, where you need to learn not to be afraid of your wife’s anger. My wife is a short 110-lb female and apart from sneaking up on me or attacking me in my sleep (both unlikely) she can’t hurt me. She certainly can’t hurt me with words or passive aggressive bullshit (like taking off her wedding ring, which mine tried once until I took mine off too, then she put hers back on and asked why I wasn’t wearing mine LOL) or pouting. Here are a couple tips t…
/r/askMRP06/10/18 05:30 PM
2

r/bodyweightfitness has what they call “the recommended routine” (“RR”). Pretty challenging and great for strength development, but not hypertrophy IMO. Great for situations Ike yours.
/r/askMRP06/10/18 05:15 PM
3

All gyms offer day rates, go local. Uber if you can't jog to it. Some local gyms are awesome and all you need is a squat rack. Also I have about half a dozen workouts designed for crappy hotel gyms depending what gear they have. Bodyweight routines that can be done in the room.1 Stop making excuses. 1 - and you can always do 500 push ups and 500 crunches in sets of ten with ten second rests.
/r/askMRP05/10/18 04:53 PM
1

Congrats on your progress, keep your foot on the petal. I think sometimes things are too far gone to save in longer LTRs; there's just too much beta history to overcome in any satisfying way. One thing that occurred to me reading your short post was that the affair could have been going on for some time and she started going to him more recently for comfort as she became less secure in her ability to manipulate you.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/10/18 03:34 PM
1

Great tip.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/09/18 09:40 PM
1

It’s not an act of love. She’s trickle sexing him to keep him from ultimately leaving. It’s a trap.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/08/18 11:23 AM
4

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, this is my experience only, I am not recommending you do what I say, you should get a professional opinion, etc. Tennis elbow aka tendonitis is, as named, inflammation of a tendon. An inflamed and thus too-tight tendon pulls across the bone under load causing pain. The good news is this is distinct from an injury, although tendonitis often affects people for long periods of time. I found an followed helpful advice as follows: (1) don't rest. Tendons are strengthene…
/r/askMRP22/08/18 09:16 PM
1

I’m finding that abundance opportunities are making me pretty impatient with my wife. Maybe that’s something you get over? I was being insecure. Alpha boss should be my resource.
/r/askMRP15/08/18 11:37 AM
1

You like him too? :) I was being insecure. I should be trying to keep company with people like Alpha Boss.
/r/askMRP15/08/18 11:05 AM
1

Fair point.
/r/askMRP15/08/18 11:01 AM
2

Yep. I may have over-reacted to that comment.
/r/askMRP14/08/18 07:16 PM
1

Perhaps it is a form of jealousy shit test in response to your dread level 4-5, like she's feeling dread and trying to alleviate that feeling by eliciting a jealousy response from you. Huh, that's an interesting take. I'll have to think about that some more. On first blush it didn't seem like she was trying to dread me but you could argue it "worked." Thanks.
/r/askMRP14/08/18 07:15 PM
1

give less fucks, and tease more. Funny how it always comes back to the basics even tho it looks complicated from inside the forest. Thanks.
/r/askMRP14/08/18 07:13 PM
1

Great framing, thanks.
/r/askMRP14/08/18 07:10 PM
1

Teasing her about it is weak and will reveal your jealous insecurities. At best, she will be less overt with her admiration of her boss. At worst, she'll have even less respect for you than she does now. Yeah great counterpoint. I think the bottom line may just be there's nothing to "do" about it, just keep on the path and keep a weather eye out. Unless I decide I don't want to deal with this shit and kill the puppy.
/r/askMRP14/08/18 05:45 PM
3

Makes sense, thanks.
/r/askMRP14/08/18 05:43 PM
1

My advice - chill the fuck out. Yep yep. She wasnt defending the boss. She was defending herself saying those things. I cant believe you cant see that. Explain?
/r/askMRP14/08/18 05:21 PM
2

You got about 10 more months of hard core work for full results. I'm not taking my foot off the gas, that's for sure. If anything I'm stepping on it.
/r/askMRP14/08/18 05:19 PM
2

You mean it sounds like I want her to kill the puppy? You might be onto something. I need to think on that one.
/r/askMRP14/08/18 05:16 PM
1

Start observing everything she does now with your red pill awareness. Can I just go back into the matrix? Kidding. The world is totally different now, that's for fucking sure.
/r/askMRP14/08/18 05:14 PM
1

I guess you are just a helpless and hopeless victim. Either fucking drop it from your mind or move the fuck on without her i That's the decision matrix. I need to decide if I can fix it or can't, and if I can't, do I want to continue notwithstanding. Came over here to AskMRP brainstorm and get a variety of opinions while I think on it. Mission accomplished :) . I don't think I've been pushing away advice. I like the idea of teasing her about it if I can figure how not to appear jealous or mate g…
/r/askMRP14/08/18 05:12 PM
1

Yeah she was totally autistic and careless.
/r/askMRP14/08/18 05:10 PM
1

You are living in fear of her leaving Nah, her leaving would make this problem a lot simpler and I'd be able to take advantage of all my gains immediately. Good on her if she wants to leave, buh-bye. I think the consensus is developing that there is not a particular sexual strategy to apply MRP-wise in this scenario. I like the idea of teasing her about it if I can figure out how to do it without seeming like I'm jealous or mate-guarding (which I'm not; again-if she swings it resolves the proble…
/r/askMRP14/08/18 05:09 PM
1

Haha, good point.
/r/askMRP14/08/18 05:06 PM
1

Oh I wasn't passive at the time. Once I figured out what my gut was suggesting I made efforts to confirm the theory. Never got there before the phase was over. I did get her laptop once and nothing in texts or emails.
/r/askMRP14/08/18 05:05 PM
1

I've been following your evolving story with great interest. Glad you're finally free of what was clearly a terrible situation. It will only get better. I agree with those who advise you to focus on moving past anger. I'm still trying to apply MRP as a sexual strategy to my existing marriage. This may be the non-negotiable or it may not. I need to think on it and came over here to get out of the vacuum and get some opinions. Which as you know, are in abundance around here. :)
/r/askMRP14/08/18 05:03 PM
1

Haha, your comment prompted me to remember that I got together with my wife when I was her boss. She has a thing for bosses I guess. Is this something I want to put up with if I can’t fix it? If it can be fixed, I need to figure out how. If not, I need to next.
/r/askMRP14/08/18 04:50 PM
1

All good advice, but I’m nowhere near her frame. I’m not worried about any of it, it just seems to me that I have to make a decision whether I want to live with this-if there’s not a strategy to beat it. I’m generally pretty optimistic and up for a challenge. I’d like to beat it and win, frankly.
/r/askMRP14/08/18 04:42 PM
1

What’s the worst that happens? She fucks him and YOU get hotter, younger, tighter, firmer. That's not the worst at all. That'd be a lot better than this problem, who cares if she leaves? I think her hamster is probably manufacturing conflict and problems with me to justify the crush. That's the ongoing problem.
/r/askMRP14/08/18 03:52 PM
1

How long were y’all together ? Trying to figure out how long you were a pussy with her..She’s been working for him for 15 years! We've been together over 20. Beta probably 12 solid years, maybe more.
/r/askMRP14/08/18 03:50 PM
3

I imagine the guy will take it as a green light to go try to fuck her Shit, you're right.
/r/askMRP14/08/18 03:49 PM
1

I don't care if she leaves and I doubt he would take her on anyway. The ongoing problem is that I think her hamster is probably manufacturing conflict and problems with me to justify the crush.
/r/askMRP14/08/18 03:48 PM
1

I’m worried about the Feelz she gets from just being around him. This. And I think her hamster is probably creating conflict and problems to justify the crush. That's the ongoing problem.
/r/askMRP14/08/18 03:40 PM
1

All true, I doubt he'd ever take her on. This would be a lot easier if he did. He's got decent values so I doubt random hookups are in the cards either. It would be in times of stress plus opportunity. So whatever. The problem is that she is probably thinking there's a chance (especially if it happened before) and this is a huge impediment to her being led by me.
/r/askMRP14/08/18 03:29 PM
1

Yeah, there's a lot of circumstantial evidence but no direct evidence. I'm not going to torch it based on a hunch. Now if I can't solve the crush problem, that's another thing.
/r/askMRP14/08/18 03:24 PM
3

For the record, I'm not afraid of her swinging to the branch. Good on her if she does, buh bye. That would solve the problem, let the good times roll. It's staying in the marriage and dealing with this crush that I'm trying to figure out.
/r/askMRP14/08/18 03:20 PM
1

I think the best advice is to openly talk about the crush like it doesn't bother you. Yeah, u/rian_stone suggested something similar. I'm starting the see the outlines of a strategy along these lines. What do you think about me joking with him about my wife's crush on him, same thing, IDGAF, but it might make him push her away a little too?
/r/askMRP14/08/18 03:18 PM
1

Yeah, this was my original line of thinking. Then I was like, shit, I am my own man, I'm not going to chase Alpha Boss around. I compete well with him in plenty of ways but we're different and there's no point in me putting him up on some kind of pedestal. I like the guy, but well, fuck him.
/r/askMRP14/08/18 03:16 PM
1

You need to have enough confidence in yourself to believe that she will stick around. And enough confidence to know that if your turn with her is over, and she doesn't stick around, you will be in a position to upgrade to a younger, hotter model. Of the various alternatives, her branch swinging seems like it would be better than this. Buh bye. It's this indeterminate in-between, with her crushing and probably thinking the branch swing is possible, that is challenging me. If I'm going to stay in …
/r/askMRP14/08/18 03:14 PM
2

Her fucking him would make things a lot easier. Buh bye. It's this in-between that is confusing me. I can keep being the prize and working on myself but she's always got this fantasy of a branch swing hanging there (especially if they fucked before, but either way). Maybe it's just the price of playing but fuck, a cute hairdresser is sounding pretty good too. How does teasing her about it help? Showing I don't care?
/r/askMRP14/08/18 03:10 PM
1

Yeah I fucking hated that paragraph. But have to deal with reality. Look, there's any number of ways I compete well with this guy but I don't think I want to think of myself in competition with him.
/r/askMRP14/08/18 03:05 PM
1

The BA will immediately increase her SMV and produce a raft of orbiters for her to flirt with. This will make your MRP job immediately harder and take that much longer to get where you need to be. I love you just the way you are.
/r/askMRP06/08/18 02:59 PM
3

As you can see, points of view differ on whether you should continue in your marriage. For me, you gave too few details to opine about that serious choice (for example, whether you have any kids). Here's how you should look at MRP. If you are doing what you say you are--and keep it up--then you are on your way to having a sex life with someone. "The stay plan is the same as the go plan." Worrying about immediate results is what will get you into various kinds of trouble (e.g. going Rambo, giving…
/r/askMRP15/07/18 11:40 AM
1

True. Irony was the wrong word. I am constantly amazed and delighted watching how God uses the most unlikely people and tools to accomplish His will.
/r/RPChristians03/07/18 12:05 PM
1

Well, I’m not sure what specifically you are looking for. You could start with Ephesians 5:22-24, which seems central to Biblical headship and family structure. Pastors avoid these verses like the plague, and if they do mention them (“bravely”), in my experience they move immediately into the husband’s duties to his wife, and often some extra-biblical mishmash about husbands and wives submitting to each other. Ironically, much of RP is closer to Biblical descriptions of family structure than wha…
/r/RPChristians03/07/18 01:27 AM
1

I think u/DarqueKnight is right. Why call out men for failing to lead but not call out women for failing to submit? The only truthful answer is fear of women, which is obviously sinful of its own account, in that it idolizes them.
/r/RPChristians02/07/18 09:15 PM
1

“Hey I’m going for coffee, meet me at XXX in [an hour].”
/r/askTRP01/07/18 05:44 AM
1

OYS 8 Mo. 51, 5’10”, 165, 16%. Sq 220x5. DL 255x5. BP 205x5. OHP 120x5. Fitness Workouts distrusted because I’m recovering from shoulder pain, sigh. Trying to modify workout to focus more on lower body, which admittedly is lagging behind upper body at the moment anyway. So maybe it’s a blessing in disguise. The squatting and deadlifts in the beginner programs have definitely made my legs stronger but upper-leg hypertrophy is lagging. Since I can’t do any pressing exercises or shoulder lifting ex…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/06/18 11:23 AM
8

Great post dude, and great work. Look how less than a year turned it all around- from depressed incel pedestal worshipper to (sounds like) as about as busy as you can handle. I feel you about being red pilled late; what I could have done with this knowledge and these skills 20-30 years ago. But I have ‘em now. Your post should be sidebarred as an example for new guys. Keep it up and give us another report around November 2018.
/r/askMRP25/06/18 11:16 AM
6

Acta non verba. You’re thinking of this wrong. You think you’re going to say something and the situation will improve. Bro, you can’t beat the hamster with talk. Don’t even try.
/r/askMRP23/06/18 06:24 PM
1

Not massive. It’s fixable and will be over and done, unlike child support, alimony, etc. don’t beat yourself up
/r/askMRP23/06/18 04:34 PM
1

Your wife automatically tenses up when you initiate at night in bed due to years of conditioning for something bad always happening (unwanted sex or butthurt husband). Stop initiating at night for a while. It’s hard to show not-butthurt-ness at night in bed because going right to sleep seems butthurt. Spend the next six weeks initiating at all times of the day and then being cheerful and happy after rejection so she can see you are (apparently) OI about it. You are at the stage where you are tea…
/r/askMRP23/06/18 10:55 AM
1

Great. The reason this works is that your wife has been manipulating you through sexual access. But once she sees that you DGAF if you get laid or not, things start to shift. You have to really be OI though-she can tell. There’s been a lot written about the anger. Read it. The bottom line is you need to internalize that this is all your own fault. She’s just AWALT. Sometimes I think women are designed this way to prevent us from getting complacent or lazy or something. Anyway the anger is a sign…
/r/askMRP22/06/18 11:24 AM
1

Stop focusing on sex as your only priority. I think for me it went something like this. Make a list of everything you would do if you were single, and you don't do right now because you are afraid of your wife getting mad at you. E.g. go to see a movie that you want to see, by yourself, or with a friend or whatever. Or go to the gym after work instead of racing home because she is making dinner at a certain time. Or watch sports, work on a hobby in the garage, whatever. When you get a sexual den…
/r/askMRP21/06/18 06:08 PM
1

The bad news is your wife doesn’t find you attractive. She does duty sex to get through it. There. The band aid is ripped off now. The good news is you can fix this problem, faster than you think in some ways, slower in others. But you are going to start feeling better about yourself soon regardless of whether your sex life improves that fast. You’ve been given the gift of desperation, which is what fuels massive change and self improvement. Lifting is the first step. Make it your own. If initia…
/r/askMRP21/06/18 12:02 PM
5

You need to work through the light weights. Don’t skip. There are supporting muscles that are weak and need the time. And you need to learn good form on the lighter weights. Don’t feel like you have to throw heavy weights around to impress anybody. Follow the program.
/r/askMRP21/06/18 11:53 AM
1

Well, you've received a lot of good advice from a pretty sparse post. Since my situation appears to resemble yours in terms of the power dynamic and starting situation, I will add this. Becoming the alpha is not just shutting down the emotional manipulation and doing whatever you want. There's also the concept of being the "fun captain" which may be under-emphasized because it's (1) harder and (2) more advanced, meaning you have to stop being unattractive before you can start being the fun capta…
/r/askMRP20/06/18 12:04 PM
1

Her political obsession gives you wonderful material to tease her with. Never treat anything she says about politics seriously. Make everything political into a joke. Amuse yourself and tease her about all this stuff at the same time. It only bothers you because you are taking her seriously—you are in her frame. Get out of her frame. Be unflappably happy.
/r/askMRP20/06/18 01:13 AM
1

Found myself successfully AM and A&A Ing for almost the first time and it was fun! Who knew that intentionally trying to irritate your spouse would end better than trying to explain your position logically. We generally end up laughing whereas previously the same situation would have ended in a whole day or weekend of mutual sulking. All I have to do is try to piss her off for my own amusement, and we get on better, bizarre. This! Teasing is one of the most important skills IMO.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/06/18 03:12 PM
1

Apologies. In that case, more context still might help. What do you mean by mini-main event? I wonder if this is more like a shitty comfort test. STFU is good when you have no frame going yet. If you’ve been doing this for a while, better is to hold frame during the “talk” and use the WISNIFG techniques and try to lead her feelz into your frame. E.g., my wife was furious because I didn’t invite her along on a day trip I’d planned. She’d been witchy all week (turns out she thought I had been dism…
/r/askMRP17/06/18 08:56 PM
3

Five days ago you posted you were new to TRP over in r/askTRP. You aren't anywhere near a main event. Especially again. I think you must be talking about shit tests from your wife in the form of loopy arguments. (?) Maybe some more details would help. Meantime read WISNIFG.
/r/askMRP17/06/18 12:51 PM
2

Don’t hang around with people who act miserable.
/r/askMRP14/06/18 06:29 PM
9

Learn to not be afraid if she gets angry.
/r/askMRP14/06/18 05:43 PM
2

“Well, I’m not going to argue with you about it.” Then refuse to discuss the matter further. As u/rian_stone says, verbal intercourse is optional. Instead of AA and AM, try to think about these opportunities as chances to tease her. While not a great example, this morning I was watching my wife wash her boobs in the shower. She noticed and I saw her get that look like she was about to talk some shit about me being disrespectful or something. So I said, "will you please stop staring at me? It's c…
/r/askMRP14/06/18 02:03 PM
2

I’m not surprised. I don’t have any insight into their world, but I’ve noticed that the elder ladies (1) like to matchmake, and (2) seem to keep tabs on the eligible bachelorettes. They also seem to have a good sense for good matches. I doubt OP would have to say he’s looking for an attractive gal, for example.
/r/RPChristians14/06/18 01:55 PM
1

<deleted-replied to wrong comment>
/r/RPChristians14/06/18 01:54 PM
3

Pro tip. Get to know the older ladies at your church and make sure they know you are looking for a setup. You can be reasonably clear what you’re looking for. The ladies will work a giant mysterious network that can produce candidates you never would have run into by your own efforts. Good luck brother!
/r/RPChristians14/06/18 10:39 AM
1

Well that was a huge fucking DLV. She wants an alpha who can protect her, not a faggot who runs away at the first sign of trouble. You need to get your head right about how you respond in these situations. Why didn't you just take her by the arm and say "let's go?" You wanted the fucking takeout.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/06/18 02:16 PM
3

Change your circumstances to get rid of the association with snacking. Stop going for morning coffee. Do one thing that will make your work day exceptional instead. Stop "sitting around watching TV." Lift instead.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/06/18 02:12 PM
3

A third is, in a sense, not even conscious of what he has done; he is rather like a vine which has produced its grapes, and seeks for no further reward once it has borne its proper fruit, as with a horse when it has run its race, or a dog when it has followed its trail, or a bee when it has made its honey. Seems like Aurelius is describing acting in such a way as to consistently produce social value without thinking about it or expecting any particular reward. The key, I think, is the particular…
/r/askMRP13/06/18 12:38 PM
2

I think you have to reach a certain pain threshold before you are ready to leave the comfort of what you know, and undertake a massive, risky self-improvement investment project hidden in a back corner of reddit. And endure months or more of no or minimal results while keeping your foot on the gas. You can be in a lot of pain but still not be ready for that kind of change. There are a lot of other distractions and noise.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/06/18 08:50 PM
1

this will be a tough one for me, even though I'm ready to accept that rationally. It's something I'll have to work on for a while. There's a trick that you'll find in the sidebar somewhere, wish I could attribute it to the right person. Anyway, the trick is, just mentally add "right now" to the end of whatever your wife says. If she says "I feel like you aren't supportive of my job" you think "...right now."
/r/MarriedRedPill12/06/18 08:41 PM
1

keep attention to deeds and body language and not the words coming out from her mouth. And ... she doesn't contact me, unless she needs something. ... we see each other after work. The interactions look more like friendship, not relationship You aren't in an LTR. You don't live together. You aren't dating. This girl is an unhealthy occupation for you. I've got a strong Oneitis on this girl, even though most of time she shows her disinterest in me. Well you self-diagnosed, so you know what you ne…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/06/18 08:36 PM
1

Now I'm thinking that even this would be a covert contract. Is that the problem? Now you're getting the idea :) she told me that I wasn't supportive of her work, which made me mad because I try to help her whenever I can A double whammy. First, covert contract (you try to help her whenever you can and expect her to be appreciative in return). Second, and pay close attention, you literally cannot take anything your wife says about her emotions or the relationship seriously. If you can internalize…
/r/MarriedRedPill12/06/18 07:34 PM
2

Are you snacking because you're hungry? Just chiming in from the peanut gallery to point out that here in the first world, the vast majority of us have never experienced real hunger. That feeling of wanting a sugary snack is something else, not hunger.
/r/MarriedRedPill12/06/18 06:23 PM
1

She started venting about her job and I was listening and talking to her etc. All of a sudden she starts to berate me for not understanding what she was saying. Women communicate to express emotions not convey facts. You trying to give her advice, solve her problems? Quit. Practice active listening and expressing sympathy for her negative feelz. Be the fun captain. Tease her playfully. Don't engage with the negativity, she is just dumping it out. I'm trying to develop game with my girl but it's …
/r/MarriedRedPill12/06/18 01:57 PM
2

Move out. The suggestion to join armed services is a good one, I think, if you qualify. Read No More Mister Nice Guy. The other book suggestions are good too but I'd read NMMNG first. It will be an eye-opener. You'll be all right. Imagine trying to fix yourself before there was an Internet and RP.
/r/askTRP11/06/18 01:35 PM
1

Thanks for posting this. I'm currently in the throes of the power struggle over full control of the finances. Your post is encouraging.
/r/MarriedRedPill11/06/18 12:32 PM
2

Sidebar is still there. If you are on mobile, it is found under "Community Info" in the "..." menu.
/r/askMRP11/06/18 12:26 PM
2

You can define the next stage of your life as a period of suffering, or as the best thing that could ever have happened to you and your child. You need to own the parts of this that are your fault and let go of the things you can't control with peace and acceptance. Read the sidebar ---> Here are a couple stopgap measures: Stop arguing with your wife. If you had done more reading you would know by now that you will never ever win an argument with a woman. They aren't bounded by reason or account…
/r/askMRP11/06/18 12:24 PM
2

MGTOWs voluntarily eschew LTRs. Incels describe themselves as involuntarily celibate because bitches.
/r/askTRP10/06/18 01:57 AM
1

I think if you want to do MGTOW right, it should be from a place other than anger. That’s why I don’t think you are really MGTOW, you are RP in the anger phase. Some get it worse than others, it seems. Labels. It’s not like you join a fucking secret society. Take a break from chasing pussy FFS and work on yourself if that’s what you want. You don’t have to “declare” for one side or the other. See how you feel in six months. Make yourself useful in the meantime. All that said, I get it. The red p…
/r/askTRP10/06/18 01:56 AM
4

I think you may have a spiritual problem. Your material success is not fulfilling you; how is your spiritual life? The suicides of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain remind that wealth, security, and fame don’t add up to happiness. Where will you get your lasting joy from? The experiences you describe that have made you feel “alive” sound like they have a spiritual component to me. But you can’t climb mountains every day. You have to find the same place inside you rather than out in the world. From…
/r/askTRP10/06/18 01:44 AM
3

“that means it’s working”
/r/askMRP09/06/18 06:14 PM
6

I made this mistake. What you get is a couple months where your wife keeps saying things like “you’re only doing this because you read it in that book” and “you should focus more on making your wife happy instead of reading books about how you should act.” I STFU and got past it but if I could go back in time I would stop myself.
/r/askMRP09/06/18 03:53 PM
4

So the problem with this kind of micro managing is that it teaches your first mate (and subordinates if applicable) to be helpless and rely on you for everything. And they blame you when things go wrong instead of taking responsibility, e.g.: "Well you didn't tell me that you wanted me to do it back to front. So it's your fault." It also makes your first mate think you are judging the goodness and badness of her conduct rather than the efficiency, which is what I think you are really concerned a…
/r/askMRP08/06/18 01:09 PM
1

No worries. It’s all “little steps” for all of us. You are going to enjoy this one. In your post you said you were going to “fight” the shit test for once. You may have a fundamental misunderstanding. Don’t “fight” shit tests. Pass them. Cool as a cucumber. She wants you to show that you are completely unfazed, even entertained by, her testing. “Fighting” suggests conflict which means adrenaline which means tough to relax and be entertained. Just something to think about.
/r/askMRP08/06/18 10:37 AM
1

Oh man, you're getting some golden opportunities to show OI and tease your wife. When she says "what's wrong??", you say something like ... "it's those damned Russians trying to steal the election" "it's just the way Jessica Simpson has let herself go ... such a tragedy" "it's just how I sprained my dick the last time I was jerking off" "it's just that idiot Nancy Pelosi, she really gets under my skin" "it's just that Disney is wrecking the whole Star Wars franchise" ...and so on. Have fun with …
/r/askMRP08/06/18 12:27 AM
1

Sounds like a tough case. The only thing I can think of at the moment is maybe you start taking the kids to do fun stuff without her as much as you can. When she complains or asks why she isn’t included you tell her you don’t like being around negative people. She can either get her shit together, stay home by herself, or leave. My situation was not as difficult as it sounds like yours is. But my wife liked to give me multi-week pissy fit/cold treatments. So I started taking the kids away for th…
/r/askMRP08/06/18 12:09 AM
1

Lawyer
/r/askMRP07/06/18 07:49 PM
1

Hmm. Some questions from reading your post. Are you stuck in the anger phase? Is it preventing you from leading, being the fun captain? Are you bringing the emotional reward home with you so she sees your return as something to look forward to? Are you too compliant? Have you tried saying "no." when she tells you to do something? Are you too autistic? You described a lot of good STFU but are you teasing her, using A&A and amused mastery? You're far enough along now that the crutch of STFU should…
/r/askMRP07/06/18 07:44 PM
1

she ended up snapping at me about something in the middle of making out, which immediately causes me to lose my desire and therefore my.... stiffness. I just said "we'll try again tomorrow'. So you are butthurt but doing a good job of covering it up. Try not being butthurt when she shit tests you. Think of it this way: her hamster is making sure you're alpha enough to procreate with. Next time try A&A or amused mastery in response to the critical comment; tease her a little. See if that gets you…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/06/18 02:56 PM
4

The good news is you are trying to find some answers. That’s about it. Social media (at least, for personal) is weak as fuck. Investing time on social media is a DLV to your wife. Quit that shit. Use the time for sidebar reading FFS. She is sending you signals loud and clear to get your shit together and you are hamstering away off in the weeds. And by one of your comments, she’s getting explicit about it, which for a woman is end-game tactics. OYS at home FFS. Do that shit before she asks you a…
/r/askMRP07/06/18 11:47 AM
1

I think that’s right; use a powerlifting coach if any. The whole point is to learn perfect form at heavy weights.
/r/MarriedRedPill07/06/18 11:07 AM
1

Glad your stall is over. FYI my scale has an impedance function and it is totally useless. It says 33% right now, which is bullshit, because I had a bodpod test at the local university last month and it matched my handheld within 1%. Also I have visible abs. So the scale’s monitor is useless. Your gym may have a handheld monitor you can try if you want to compare to your scale. (You can see I’m suspicious of them all lol)
/r/MarriedRedPill07/06/18 11:04 AM
2

Neo: Why do my eyes hurt? Morpheus: You've never used them before.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/06/18 07:15 PM
3

If the golden ratio is 1 month to every year of beta behavior how the fuck do you guys keep yourself from pulling a complete Rambo, wiping the slate clean and starting over?? That's another year. You have to change. You are the reason it's going to take a year, not her. True, she won't believe any of the changes are keepers until you keep it up for a while, then the 1,000 foot rope will tighten and she'll come along. Don't worry, there's good news. You don't have to wait 12 months for things to …
/r/askMRP06/06/18 07:12 PM
2

Learn how to use the formatting codes, it will help people trying to read your comment. I started with really low weights, especially with the squats and deadlifts as I've suffered from back pain in the past. I did the same as SL5x5 starts with the bar and works up. I think this is the right approach for people just starting to lift; it's reckless to head straight for the heavy weights without building up your supporting muscles and tissues. Proper form is going to be critical to avoiding injuri…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/06/18 06:20 PM
1

Shit test passed perfectly and it was an amazing experience. Take this win and build on it. More important than how you feel about passing the test is how she (or, her hamster) feels about it, which is pretty great. Good combination of wins, being the fun captain, adventure provider, and passing the shit test.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/06/18 06:17 PM
1

You already have some experience losing weight, so this may be redundant. But if it helps, I just posted the following points from my experience in response to a question about building muscle while losing fat over in the r/leangains sub: Get enough daily protein so your body doesn’t need to take it from tissue. Approx 0.8 - 1.5 g / lean body weight / day. Buy a handheld body fat impedance monitor. Check daily along with your weigh in. You can confirm you are losing fat not lean tissue or make i…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/06/18 06:09 PM
1

Yes ... the anger. Much has been written about this normal transitional stage, but I'm not sure there is actually a rational way to deal "get past it." I think the getting past the anger happens naturally as you begin to feel more confident and your internal frame takes on its own heft. That said, I will offer you the following points that I have ruminated about during my journey out of anger: While your wife has by no means behaved admirably, and while you were deluded by the Matriarchy, the pr…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/06/18 05:58 PM
1

I will add lifting. Make this your priority.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/06/18 04:04 PM
1

People are telling me I don't need to lose any weight but they haven't seen me with my shirt off. I still have a “spare tire” around my waist. Don't listen to the peanut gallery (unless your doctor is advising you for some health reason). I'm similar stats to you, 5'10", 51yo, but 165# and 14.8%bf. When I started in October I was 194# and 24%bf. When I got down around 180# people started telling me not to lose any more weight. Well I look great at 165# but even now still have a little bit of a "…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/06/18 04:00 PM
1

I think I've actively contributed to their problems, and alot of them think I've got it figured out because my sham marriage looks like a fucking model relationship on the outside. Wow, I'm an awful fucking friend. It does really sound like you are experiencing the birthing pains of digesting the red pill. Hurts to use those eyes, doesn't it? Enhhhh... if I could just go back in time and stop myself everytime I said something idiotic like, happy wife, happy life...
/r/MarriedRedPill06/06/18 12:38 PM
1

Goal: Continue to only type the truth on my anonymous Reddit account. Resist the urge to make shit up or hide, It's a cowardly fucking urge anyway. Give radical honesty a try in your entire life. The dishonesty is a way to suppress your real personality for whatever reason (usually fear of something). Radical honesty is courageous, masculine, and people generally appreciate it. Radical honesty does not mean you have to be a jerk or un-diplomatic. You don't need to get all psyco-introspective and…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/06/18 12:32 PM
1

Your case is such a great example. It’s not quite automatic for me yet, but pretty quickly now after I first feel my blood pressure is rising because my wife is ranting about something, I remember hey, this means absolutely nothing, and then I start noticing everything that’s funny about whatever she is going on about. I feel for guys whose wives are constantly threatening to leave or divorce them, but it’s the same—meaningless. These guys should ignore this stuff too. It’s something to do with …
/r/MarriedRedPill06/06/18 10:58 AM
2

She told me yesterday she didn’t want me looking like the hulk and would rather a leaner build. Classic sign that it's working. Let me know when she starts running her hands over your biceps etc. during sex.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/06/18 07:22 PM
1

I don't recall how far in, but at one point since i unplugged, she told me that she was basically asexual, just not interested in sex anymore - it's not me, she wouldn't fuck Brad Pitt if he initiated. What a load of bullshit - I don't even look good yet and we're fucking like crazy... This just goes to show you literally cannot take anything your wife says about her emotions or the relationship seriously.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/06/18 07:20 PM
1

That's a helpful and motivating link I hadn't seen before, thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/06/18 03:16 PM
1

I'm getting endless questions about what's wrong with me. My constant answer is nothing. Oh man, you're getting some golden opportunities to show OI and tease your wife. When she says "what's wrong??", you say something like ... "it's those damned Russians and trying to steal the election" "it's just the way Jessica Simpson has let herself go ... such a tragedy" "it's just how I sprained my dick the last time I was jerking off" "it's just that idiot Nancy Pelosi, she really gets under my skin" "…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/06/18 02:56 PM
1

I had good workouts even in the shitty hotel gym while on vacation. I have also had good hotel "gym" success using three workout templates I set up in my Strong app, depending on the equipment in the particular gym. One template is a whole-body workout using dumbbells up to 50lbs (usually the biggest in a hotel workout room). For example, it includes goblet squat 100's with the 50lb dumbbell --that's 5 sets of 20 deep squats, which is plenty :) E.g., another template adds in cable exercises if t…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/06/18 02:38 PM
1

Dude, you are 51 that's right? Yeah... you know what I'm grateful for now? That I was such a lardass my whole life before. Since I don't have a heavy sports history, I think that my joints etc are still pretty fresh for my age and not as susceptible to injury as maybe others who have done lots of previous lifting or sports. I've been dealing with plenty of pain--don't get me wrong--but so far I've been able to correct everything with form improvements. I'm taking a very measured, studied approac…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/06/18 02:00 PM
1

Nice report. Let’s start a suit company, great idea.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/06/18 12:27 PM
1

OYS 7+ Months 51, 14.8%, 168. SQ250x3, DL255x5, BP220x5, OHP120x3. Signs of Progress 1000 foot rope keeps pulling. This weekend W asked me to take oldest son to gym and teach him how to lift. She said something like men should always be lifting. She then wound up coming along and let me teach her proper form on squats, deadlifts, and bench press. All this is unprecedented; my women's-studies-degreed W usually immediately takes the opposite position as to anything I'm doing or saying. I'm now won…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/06/18 12:10 PM
1

Through trial and error I figured out that close grip bench press is causing the problem.
/r/askMRP02/06/18 03:25 PM
1

Can anyone else relate to this? Normal? This is a sign of progress. Now that you realize that you aren't enslaved to her rules, desires, and whims, you see you have a lot of time and agency to do whatever you might want to do. But it's been so long since you thought for yourself that you've forgotten what to do. Your "ordinary self-interest" muscle is atrophied. You just need to start exercising it and it will come back. The right path is to begin to "own" that you are the captain, and have to l…
/r/askMRP01/06/18 05:48 PM
1

If you had provided info to let us know your relative SMV then we could have ruled out some of these basic issues and made better responses. Why don't you edit your OP and put in your lifts, height, weight, age, body fat%, and mention your RP awareness (i.e. the reading).
/r/askMRP31/05/18 01:07 PM
3

If it's not already obvious, there are two books you need to tackle stat: NMMNG and WISNIFG. You are a poster boy for both of them. I started right where you are. If I am right, she is emotionally manipulating you about all kinds of things which is making you walk on eggshells all the time and try your hardest not to make her upset (which means doing everything her way). Here's the most important thing you need to understand right now: when you acquiesce like this, give in to her, walk on eggshe…
/r/askMRP30/05/18 06:42 PM
1

Don’t beat yourself up, just fix it. When you read NMMNG you’ll realize it started in childhood.
/r/askMRP30/05/18 11:32 AM
0

He said he had been symptom free for 6 of the 8-9 days.
/r/askMRP30/05/18 11:30 AM
1

So I’m guessing you haven’t read NMMNG yet. In brief: guys think of themselves as “nice” because they treat women well. But they only do this because they expect to receive affection and sexual access. I.e. it’s a transaction. Not so nice. When the guys don’t get that affection or sexual access, they become resentful, passive aggressive, and butthurt. NMMNG calls this a “covert contract”—a secret agreement that you have with the other person except the other person doesn’t even know about it. Th…
/r/askMRP29/05/18 10:33 PM
1

I got ill about a week ago (bit of a cold, nothing major) which was on top of a tendon injury from working out the week before. This has meant a small timeout from the gym (8-9 days). Quit making excuses. Nothing in that list should have prevented you from lifting. Do the damn research on your tendon injury and modify your workout. Most physical therapists reject the "resting" approach to tendonitis anyway--they want you exercising to the maximum without pain.
/r/askMRP29/05/18 09:31 PM
2

but either way I need to start stretching. Anyone have any quick and clean static stretching routines to recommend? Stand in squat stance, feet shoulder width apart, angled slightly outwards. Begin a bodyweight squat, getting as low as you can, butt against your calves. Place your elbows against your knees, your hands together in the middle, so you are pressing your knees outwards. Press as far as you can and hold the stretch as low as you can as long as you can. I usually do a count of 20. This…
/r/MarriedRedPill29/05/18 02:52 PM
0

If it works for you, you could look for a conservative-leaning mainstream non-crazy church (e.g. Southern Baptist). You'll find like-minded guys there and probably a bunch of programming already in place for doing things together.
/r/askMRP27/05/18 11:49 AM
1

Thanks for these, I’ll watch them today. The gear arrives next week and I’m eager to give it a try. Can’t hurt, right? :)
/r/askMRP26/05/18 03:05 PM
1

I just ordered it. I'll let you know how it works out. Magic bullets sound great :)
/r/askMRP25/05/18 12:00 PM
1

I remember your post about making the Shoulderok, and thinking that I was grateful I didn’t have shoulder problems. Forgot all about it. I’m going to take a close look at that thing. Don’t know that I’ll DIY it but could certainly order one. I would have thought it was a gimmick but for your experience. Thanks for reposting about it.
/r/askMRP25/05/18 01:19 AM
1

Yeah, I was thinking form was getting more important now. I have watched a few videos on form but I probably need to dig into SS. Thanks.
/r/askMRP24/05/18 04:17 PM
1

I’ll try it, thanks.
/r/askMRP24/05/18 02:11 PM
10

This was really helpful. Could you expand on practical ways to get her out of the everything box?
/r/TheRedPill24/05/18 11:27 AM
1

One of the seminal realizations for my RP journey is that I don’t ever have to argue with my wife any more, about anything. What a relief that was. And what an improvement in my life. It was so empowering to learn that women have two advantages over men in argument. First, their brains’ verbal centers are better developed than ours, so they have a biological advantage. Second, they have a hamster—they are not limited by logic, reason or accountability. My wife—a women’s studies minor—tries to ba…
/r/askMRP24/05/18 11:12 AM
1

I am approaching the last week of my bulk. I don't think I have really put on hardly any fat. I am up almost 10lbs and the impedance device only shows a .25%BF increase. This is somewhat new territory for me and tells me that I am likely doing it right this time around. Nice! How did you do your bulk this time? My wife has been very into sex and enthusiastic as of late. ... she was going out of her way to please me. ... her willingness to please and submit was a stark change from where I have be…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/05/18 01:00 PM
1

Red - is it possible the court would order the higher-income spouse to cover MRPtossAWAY's legal expenses?
/r/askMRP23/05/18 11:53 AM
1

OYS 7 Months Stats 51, 5’10”, 165, 16.1%, SQ 5x230, DL 5x240, BP 5x225, OHP 5x120 Fitness Accuracy of my body fat tester. I decided to test my impedance body fat monitor and I went to the local university and got a bodpod test. That day my impedance monitor registered 16.4%, and the bodpod result was 17.1%. Given that the technician ran the bodpod three times to get the best average, and the impedance monitor varies within 1% or so if you run it multiple times, my conclusion is that both tests a…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/05/18 01:22 AM
1

she's been trying to sabotage via the food,... been pushing for brownies cake etc, ... 2: Now that i'm going to the gym, wife has been talking about taking care of herself, ... been 2 weeks and she hasn't gone a single day. Sounds a lot like progress. Stage 1 is when she tries to keep your SMVs in range by overfeeding you, as this is the easiest thing for her to do, with the least effort. It is also a shit test of your new fitness frame. Stage 2 is when you beat stage 1 and she starts thinking t…
/r/askMRP21/05/18 12:10 PM
13

I was going to try to explain this but you already did it better than I could. I'm no Peterson fanboy but he is clearing referring to a patriarchal society that worked well before it was destroyed. RP is an evolved response to male life in the matriarchy. Peterson arguably proposes a better overall solution for civilization.
/r/TheRedPill20/05/18 10:30 PM
1

This is interesting. What kinds of forums do you fish in and get bites?
/r/askMRP20/05/18 11:56 AM
1

NMMNG is in a completely different genre than the pickup books; it is not even explicitly a "redpill" work. It is considered a life-changing read by many, challenging in the same way that the red pill is challenging. The book is primarily written for men who grew up in a female dominated home (most of us) and so are programmed betas from birth. Key indicators include things like inability to form meaningful relationships with other men and continuing frustration with women. The author's primary …
/r/askTRP20/05/18 11:10 AM
2

You have to like yourself before you can expect others to like you. What about yourself don’t you like? Fix it. Do some things that are hard and interesting. If you’re totally lost, go walkabout in Europe for a year. Just fucking go. They don’t call it “finding yourself” for nothing. Meanwhile, lift like your life depends on it and sidebar. Have you read NMMNG and WISNIFG yet?
/r/askTRP20/05/18 12:59 AM
2

“Thanks a lot. Being stressed and pushed around was precisely what I needed...” “You’re welcome!”
/r/askMRP20/05/18 12:37 AM
2

But after the issue was resolved and I was passing her shit tests, she just kept going to the point where I was no longer comfortable around her. It finally ended when she shit tested me infront of her friends talking about guys who were into her. From your description, it sounds like she was trying to get you to kill the puppy. When women get interested in a guy other than their LTR, they start finding all kinds of fault with their LTR and hamstering that the relationship was never that good to…
/r/askTRP18/05/18 05:59 PM
5

Attractive women let guys approach them so the girl can evaluate how "alpha" or manly the guy is. They use confidence as a benchmark. Only girls who are defective or who can't get any guys to approach them, approach guys. That's why you've been approached by unattractive women. The good news is that you are in the right place. Read the sidebar, especially the Primer and the Collected Advice for Newbies. Then you can go read the sidebar at r/theredpill. I suspect it will be something of an awaken…
/r/askTRP18/05/18 05:53 PM
1

You proved that you wouldn't 'pay' for sexual access by complying with her demand for compliance. This is good. The more her transactional sex tool fails to work, the less she will actually tie sex to manipulation and will enjoy it more for what it is. If you think about it, we train them to use the transactional sex tool because we reward them for doing so, and it ruins sex for everybody. But harbor no illusions that she's given up trying yet, not by a long shot most likely.
/r/askMRP18/05/18 01:03 PM
1

Severe knee pain when I do anything over 60, so I stopped doing them. Don't quit on squats, figure out what is causing the pain. I had this problem when I started. I was able to diagnose it as knee tendonitis, which led me to figure out that it was form related. I watched a shit ton of videos and most important read the squat chapter in Starting Strength. Before, I had serious knee pain squatting 135, and even if I somehow avoided pain, if I did any cardio one knee or the other would flare up an…
/r/askMRP17/05/18 12:41 PM
3

Uncle Vasya you have made my day again. Super lolz
/r/askTRP17/05/18 11:40 AM
1

Repost this in r/askMRP. It’s for married redpillers.
/r/askTRP17/05/18 11:35 AM
1

Stop fucking drinking so much that bottom feeding predators can ass rape you whenever they want. Fucking weak bro.
/r/askTRP17/05/18 11:32 AM
1

FRAME None. I'm guessing you mean that you are still arguing and DEERing with your wife, which prevents you from developing even basic frame of your own. If so, you have to stop these destructive behaviors first. Remember: you don't owe her an explanation for anything. You explain if you want to. Otherwise you can live with her reaction to any non-explanation. Start by stopping arguing and DEERing. Try these (use broken record): "I'm not going to argue with you about this." "I hear you but I don…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/05/18 12:24 PM
2

Coming down to women: I'm starting to realize that I am the prize, I'm fairly attractive, and I do have some measure of game which I have only scratched the surface at deploying into the world. Thanks to MRP and TRP I now have the template for how to manage women--and eventually an LTR over the long term--and most importantly how to screen for the woman I want. This. Don't jump right into another oneitis LTR.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/05/18 12:19 PM
2

I hadn't really thought about it much until this morning, what exactly is her value to me?... if this is the shit I have to go through for no reason at all... maybe these are some feelz she needs? You got it. First of all, the more alpha you get, the more she is going to shit test you until she is sure that the changes are permanent or what is going on. So there's that. Second, if you aren't leading her feelz by regularly giving her some, she's going to take action and create some feelz for hers…
/r/askMRP15/05/18 01:52 PM
2

"Agh! Why do my eyes hurt?" "Because you've never used them before." Stop and take a deep breath. One way or another, things are going to be OK. You have a lot of work to do. Stop talking to her temporarily, give her space, and READ THE SIDEBAR like your life depends on it. Read everything linked. As for the books, start with NMMNG then the MMSLP. You will learn pretty quickly that all your instincts for handling these problems have been wrong and have only made things worse. You need some bette…
/r/askMRP14/05/18 11:50 AM
2

Wow our stories are remarkably similar. Mine split up when I was five, she married a guy out of seminary about 18 months later and he has been a BB house slave for 40 years. Last November my now elderly mother ran into my bio Dad who was in town for a grandkids thing. She started a fist fight with him in the parking lot (it was all her). And my family is not prone to fisticuffs lol. Reading your post I realize she has a massive oneitis for him.
/r/askTRP13/05/18 10:37 AM
2

You should start with an exercise group; bodybuilders, x-fitters, something like that. You have this desire to improve your body in common with other guys, which sets up a fledgling social life. There are girls who orbit and work in exercise circles. You would start meeting them. Plan to be good at something related to exercise. You could teach a class. Once you are good at something you can help others. Read and study about bodybuilding and exercise until you are an expert. Your problem is that…
/r/askTRP13/05/18 12:54 AM
3

Good luck. Post your status in OYS.
/r/askMRP12/05/18 11:22 PM
3

Ha! That is exactly true!
/r/askMRP12/05/18 06:42 PM
1

Just to make a point, right after I posted this, I went over to my wife who was working on her laptop and watching TV and said “let’s grab a quickie!” She jumped right in the shower then bed. Six months ago she would have laughed in my face. MRP works. More importantly, I would not have cared if she gave me a hard no either.
/r/askMRP12/05/18 12:02 PM
1

I feel you. My sexual relationship with my wife was 100% transactional and on her terms when I started. While I still have a long way to go, we’ve come a long way and I have my dignity back. That’s what you need, man. Your post is cringe worthy. “She told me to give her my private journal so I did.” WTF dude. Is she your mommy? Here is a magic RP phrase that you desperately need to implement in your marriage relationship: “no.” Tell her no FFS. WTF is she going to do, deny you sex? Guess what? S…
/r/askMRP12/05/18 11:04 AM
1

You are in a bad place. Rip off the band aid, and next your almost certainly cheating girlfriend. She wants to ride the CC, let her. The good news is you found MRP young, well before your peak SMV. If you follow the advice here, sidebar, lift, your life is going to get a lot better, probably fast. Given your upbringing, I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess you need to carefully read NMMNG, stat. Good luck.
/r/askMRP11/05/18 12:59 AM
1

OP, this is an extremely valuable analysis and you should save it to review in the future. I will add a couple minor points. First, I am in your demographic (age 50 when I started), read my [six month status update] (https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/8aygnj/fr_six_months_of_mrp/), see my [progress pics] (https://www.reddit.com/r/progresspics/comments/8g318l/m51510_205_165_40lbs_six_months_face_gains/) and you'll get a sense of what can be accomplished--and not accomplished--in six…
/r/askMRP09/05/18 01:20 PM
1

I made the rookie mistake of follow NMMNG's advice and telling her about it. For a while I got shit tests about "you are acting this way because of that stupid book." I just framed my way through, treating these as regular shit tests like any other. I haven't heard about NMMNG from her in months. I did read one suggestion somewhere that was too late to help me. If she brings up "31 days" you can say, yeah interesting book, there's some things I agree with and some things I don't agree with.
/r/askMRP09/05/18 12:57 PM
1

People, which includes women, don't usually say insulting things to strangers, especially about body shapes and appearance issues. It's a cultural thing. The fact that they are commenting negatively on your looks implies intimacy, which does not exist with strangers, unless there is attraction (desired intimacy).
/r/askTRP09/05/18 12:16 PM
1

I've been using u/RedPillCoach for the last few weeks and am finding it valuable, for me. Having the ability to talk to someone who understands RP and MRP better than I do is a kind of productivity I just can't get anywhere else. We're talking about approaches just now and even just the accountability and goal-setting is making a big difference. As to the lawsuit, well... :)
/r/MarriedRedPill08/05/18 07:19 PM
16

From your description, sounds like you made the best of a difficult situation. Honesty = best policy and all that. You defused by agreeing not to talk to her any more (a good policy under the circumstances). This could escalate depending on what she does; maybe it's time to look at other living arrangements?
/r/askTRP08/05/18 06:57 PM
1

Agree with other posters -- these are shit tests that indicate attraction. They wouldn't openly insult you if they thought you were pathetic. This is textbook. Keep doing whatever you're doing.
/r/askTRP08/05/18 12:24 PM
1

This. One of the major breakthroughs along my path was after the third week I took the kids on our own adventure on Saturday and left my wife sulking at home. She dropped behaviors that have never resurfaced.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/05/18 01:30 PM
2

It's hard to say because--short of serious sexual trauma--sexual behavior is a fundamental part of every woman's (and man's) DNA. You literally can't get away from it (if only). Catholic wives are notorious for having affairs with priests. If we have to bet, the safe bet is that instead of being in a weird unicorn situation with a low-sex wife you are in a normal MRP situation with a woman who finds you repulsive and gives you duty sex at the absolute minimum amount needed to keep you from walki…
/r/MarriedRedPill01/05/18 12:31 PM
2

I want her to start to associate pleasure from the type of sex we enjoy as the antithesis of feminism and modern gender tropes How are you pursuing this goal?
/r/MarriedRedPill01/05/18 12:05 PM
3

So now she is conditioned to always think about how I will insert sex into whatever she says. She is conditioned to identify sex with our interactions. Dude, that is awesome.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/05/18 12:04 PM
5

Seems fine to me from the facts you provided. You were DTF till she gave you too much pushback. You didn't reward that behavior by giving in to her offer to compromise. You established that there are some things (principles) you hold to over getting laid. That's helpful. She's shit testing you now to make sure it's your attitude and not a cold or something. Hold firm (no pun intended), be the fun captain, OI, DGAF.
/r/askMRP01/05/18 12:01 PM
1

Bro’s before ho’s. Tell him of course. A best friend is way more valuable than a cheating plate.
/r/askTRP01/05/18 11:45 AM
1

Agree her timing is the most difficult fact. It always amazes me what we men will do from bluepill conditioning.
/r/askMRP30/04/18 07:38 PM
1

True, but he has almost four years invested total. So what concerned me about him making a decision now before unfucking himself was this: I am still going through the different phases of swollowing the pill. Today its depression. So he hasn't even finished swallowing the redpill yet. As for her, he didn't mention any ongoing trust issues, just worry about what happened before they got married. She's meeting his needs, apparently well, so why not learn that he is the prize and get his frame stra…
/r/askMRP30/04/18 06:02 PM
1

After a breakup, the hamster cranks up and convinces her that the relationship was always terrible. If she decides to get back with him, the hamster will turn around, spin the other way, and she'll truly believe it was better than worse.
/r/askTRP30/04/18 03:17 PM
1

You don't have to make this decision right now. Fix yourself first. If you next her you'll just go into your next relationship with the same problems. Sounds like she is adding value to you now so enjoy those fruits while you complete your MAP, learn the sidebar==> inside out, and get ripped. Once you get yourself together you will have more resources to evaluate whether you should next your wife or stick. One caveat: DO NOT GET HER PREGNANT.
/r/askMRP30/04/18 12:06 PM
1

This is also my experience. Frame level 1 is holding your frame when she’s witchy. Frame level 2 is holding frame when she’s being sweet, and you’re tempted like crazy not to rock the boat because you don’t want to fuck up a good time.
/r/askMRP30/04/18 01:15 AM
1

When the kids came, I was able to help my wife negotiate a position at her company where she stepped down from management and worked from home 20-30 hours a week for eight years (they really didn't want her to quit). Now the kids are older. Last year they recruited her back into a top management position. Think outside the box.
/r/askMRP27/04/18 11:49 AM
2

You are a good person but it will never work. Trying this--your plan to "fix" her--will only hurt you both worse. Think about these points: You can never un-know what you know now. The lying, the prostitution. Stay with her and this shit will keep you up at night. You will never stop thinking about it. Don't forget about all the lying. Now you know she can lie with a straight face and invent all kinds of clever bullshit to cover her tracks. You'll never believe a fucking word she ever says again…
/r/askTRP26/04/18 05:27 PM
1

It’s actually pretty liberating when you finally realize that not only do you not have to tell her about your feelz (a painful chore under any circumstances), but she is happier not hearing about your feelz in the first place. When she asks you to emote, that’s just a shit test of your masculine frame.
/r/MarriedRedPill26/04/18 11:35 AM
1

She basically said that it seems like my emotions are more walled off, I am less compassionate and caring then I used to be. I have a cold edge to myself that wasn't there before. I went through a phase like this, where she kept demanding that I show more emotion (cry, robot, cry). I didn't change and it went away. I think maybe what was happening was that she was trying to get me to show what was going on inside so she could understand what was going on outside better.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/04/18 07:05 PM
1

You did fine. You literally cannot take anything she says about the marriage or the relationship seriously. Her feelings change minute by minute. As you are changing, she is experiencing lots of feelz and it comes out in wordz. Hold your happy and amused frame! Marvel at woman whose mind is clouded with all this nonsense! Be the fun captain and keep lifting and reading the sidebar.
/r/askMRP25/04/18 02:59 PM
4

Try being more truly interested in what makes your social acquaintances tick and look for opportunities to help them out in little ways. Read How to Win Friends and Influence People.
/r/askTRP25/04/18 11:41 AM
1

Anecdotal, but I tried to tell my own brother after his second divorce; he's built, single, has all his options. Lonely and trending toward MGTOW. He listens respectfully and absorbs nothing.
/r/askMRP24/04/18 12:03 PM
1

Dude, welcome to the real game. You have no idea how much happier you are going to be in six months, regardless of whatever happens with your wife.
/r/askMRP23/04/18 12:40 PM
1

can anyone tell me how to access the sidebar everyone talks about from a mobile?? It's under "Community Info" in the drop-down menu.
/r/askMRP23/04/18 12:37 PM
1

been slacking in the fun/sexual department because I was scared she would leave me but fuck I might as well practice if it’s gonna get blown to hell anyways. This OP. Once you stop being worried she's going to get mad about whatever you do or say, you can start taking risks and having more fun with your map--even in the face of the constant rejection. There are two stages to this. It's hard at first because you're unwinding years of bad strategies and fear, but since she pretty much gets mad at …
/r/askMRP23/04/18 12:20 PM
3

Classic set up for "I'm doing it for my girlfriend, of course!" <smack ass>
/r/askMRP23/04/18 12:09 PM
1

Yeah, that is all pretty accurate. I’m not sure though how you tell the difference for sure at first, until you stop being unattractive and start being attractive and see how she responds.
/r/askMRP19/04/18 09:25 PM
2

TBH the non-kissing may have been the most painful part of my near-deadbedroom. On the bright side, when I first found MRP, this symptom was what immediately convinced me that MRP was right that the problem was she wasn't attracted to me.
/r/askMRP19/04/18 04:02 PM
1

My wife was a non-kisser during sex pre MRP. While I am nowhere near where I want to be, the kissing problem has been solved. I think it's just an attraction issue.
/r/askMRP19/04/18 03:32 PM
1

Sweet.
/r/askMRP19/04/18 03:18 PM
1

Now when she asks me "what's wrong?" it I usually respond with a sarcastic, cocky response—something along the lines of what? oh yeah, sorry, I was just daydreaming about quail hunting (I've never been hunting) or what's wrong? I'll tell you what's wrong! Why has't anyone invented a toenail clipper that works automatically? This is bullshit! Sometimes I'll just laugh, pick her up, kiss her on deeply and tell her I love you but shut the fuck up with a smile. Mine used to shit test me with the "wh…
/r/askMRP19/04/18 12:56 PM
1

My shrew is like this. She has rules and procedures on how one should apologize, how much praise she should get when she does something, and I mean like the one thing she is able to do. Haha, mine is the same way. I made a cat noise at something she said this morning and she got bent out of shape and said the noise was "misogynistic." I am laughing so hard. I plan to tease her for weeks about her SJW crusade. Super lol.
/r/askMRP19/04/18 12:52 PM
2

You have missed more than one thing. My wife is strong, intelligent, fit, ... well liked by her social group ... high value even if not super feminine ... values male leadership ... her IQ is above mine and [she] holds an executive position. Read about oneitis. Take your raging bitch off the pedestal. Think about what you said here: She was raised by a traditional family with a strong father figure That's her bar for a "real" man enhanced by her AWALT genetic programming. If you don't meet the i…
/r/askMRP19/04/18 12:39 PM
2

Start teasing her. She'll get mad but that lets you practice IDGAF. This is the path back to the fun relationship.
/r/askMRP19/04/18 12:23 PM
2

Consciousness eliminates the pain by being aware of its effects but not letting them impact them because the mind is no longer the hub from which the person operates. The person operates from a zen-like awareness of life and all the causes and effects in it. It's effectively like the watcher who has learned about the pain, and can now smile and watch as the interconnected causes and effects of the pain happen in real life. Sounds very stoic.
/r/askMRP12/04/18 12:46 PM
1

Then I stupidly mentioned (since she’s been denying me sex on and off for the past year now) that [BLAH BLAH BLAH]. DEERing. To be honest I have lost some attraction to her Failure to lead. My 3+ year LTR yesterday before bed asked “Are you still attracted to me?” Failed comfort test. Rule of thumb, when it is about her it's a comfort test, when it's about you it's a fitness test. Mentioned how now when I grab her ass or boobs she doesn’t like it Butthurt. And also, go back and learn kino 101. T…
/r/askMRP12/04/18 12:40 PM
1

I tried this last night. It was raining cats & dogs, I was on my way home, wife texts me. She texts "are you almost home? There's a snake in the garage." Thinking about your post, I texted "yes, I''' be there in five minutes, but I you should know I'm bringing home a snake in my pants." There was a pause, then she texts "I really don't like crass humor." I ignored that, guess what happened after the kids went to bed. Sexy times :)
/r/MarriedRedPill10/04/18 12:46 PM
1

you push/improve/change until she notices and tries to resist the change. This. Also I think sometimes I push/improve/change and then I screw up and she kicks us back one peg. I learn the hard way and restart the level. Reading your post, I thought of a lifting metaphor. My progress with increasing weights is not directly linear. I frequently have to deload for one reason or another, including self-inflicted injuries, but also for stimulation of the target muscles. While it seems frustrating in …
/r/MarriedRedPill10/04/18 12:40 PM
1

You're about a month ahead of me, my pilldate is October '17. I had a major improvement when I finally realized that I was not truly OI because even though I was OI about sex I was not OI about the marriage. I had good reasons why I never wanted to get a divorce and young boys just like you. Here's the problem: she knows you don't want to get divorced. You are acting OI about a lot of things including sex, and her sexual denials aren't working the way they used to. Her threatening divorce still …
/r/askMRP10/04/18 12:19 PM
1

I liked the travel metaphor in your post on re-reading. You're a good writer. What are your favorite ways to tease your wife?
/r/MarriedRedPill09/04/18 05:22 PM
2

I feel you. My father divorced five times and I swore I'd never be like him. Also my faith also makes divorcing very rare and difficult. I realize now that those issues contributed to the decline of my marriage. Red pill will get your head right.
/r/askMRP09/04/18 02:46 PM
2

You should be looking forward to the rest of 2018. You have no idea how quickly having a plan and working the plan will make you feel so much better about yourself. You are a high achiever already and know how to implement and get things done. You will soon stop calibrating your happiness based on what your wife is doing or not doing. The best advice I can give you from a similar six-months-in perspective is not to set your expectations that you are going to get your arms around everything all a…
/r/askMRP08/04/18 11:12 AM
2

Thanks, this is very helpful.
/r/askMRP05/04/18 02:52 PM
3

Hmm. I think you are defeating yourself to a large extent. Nobody has a problem-free existence. Would you rather be a yoked jock who struggles with grades and reading comprehension? Look at the things you mentioned in your post: will be graduating Magna Cum Laude in a STEM degree and economics degree, Um, you are on the way to increasing your SMV with a great degree and solid income. have a bucketlist job lined up for me located an hour away from a world-class city (I'm in the US), Read this for…
/r/askTRP04/04/18 09:06 PM
2

Same. I experienced some great improvements but at the moment am back at total shut down on initiation. Just unemotional "no thanks" to any kind of approach.
/r/MarriedRedPill03/04/18 02:47 PM
1

Nice FR, thanks. Can you link /u/Red-Curious' kino primer post?
/r/askMRP02/04/18 07:59 PM
3

Read Rippetoe's Starting Strength's description of the squat form. I bet you are doing some basic things wrong. Knee tendonitis is the natural effect of bad squat form.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/03/18 05:41 PM
1

The book No More Mr. Nice Guy is going to blow your mind.
/r/askMRP12/03/18 03:29 PM
1

OYS Week 19 Stats: 50, 5’10”, 165, bf 20.4%(?) . SL5x5. Squat 5 x 195; BP 5 x 165; OHP 5 x 115, history-drunk captain/career beta at home. Her: 43, 5'2", 115, 32D, strong-willed feminist type. Relationship status: rocky [Progress pic] (https://imgur.com/a/LpGnj) - Does the body fat measurement seem right? I screwed up. Last week's incredible breakthrough's benefits are over. Due to a half-asleep wee-hours argument over something completely stupid where I first Rambo'd, then DEERed, the new solic…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/03/18 11:59 PM
1

Thanks. I can't wait to get started.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/03/18 10:12 PM
1

Yes on all counts. It is a little frustrating, I never thought I'd get this low to get my body fat to something reasonable. Looking at pictures I'd guess that I'm around 17-18%, and my electronic reader is wrong. So I'm close to having a pretty good cut and am ready to jump on bulking. What did you do to gain 16 lbs in 3 months?
/r/MarriedRedPill01/03/18 08:35 PM
1

If you are reading Reddit on an app, you have to go to Community Info to find the “sidebar.” You need to read it. The whole thing.
/r/askMRP01/03/18 01:08 AM
2

This is how I used to be before things went South, so I feel like I've restored my "inner self" / centrepoint of origin / frame... whatever you want to call it. I feel like "I'm back". Yes. This. That's what I'm feeling too. It's making the MAP rewarding whether or not she ultimately follows.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/02/18 08:56 PM
2

Sounds like progress!
/r/MarriedRedPill28/02/18 01:37 PM
1

She will literally be a slut for me in bed and let me do anything and then nada for weeks. Ovulation?
/r/MarriedRedPill28/02/18 01:32 PM
1

At one point she joked that I would be having a date with my hand if I didn’t do whatever. I went through this stage. Here's what's going on: your wife is getting overt about the fact that she views sex as transactional. To prompt this, you must be doing a decent job of being OI (who cares if you won't fuck me). She's trying to pull you back into her frame which is where sex is a transaction. Keep on doing OI and DGAF, to me this is a sign it is working.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/02/18 01:26 PM
1

After my Rambo episode earlier in the week where the wife told me to fuck off and live somewhere else (see previous post). She calmed down and reset quite quickly and hasnt been mentioned it since. See, to me this is great material for you to work with. You just learned that your wife can be apocalyptically mad one day and fine the next. Conclusion: don't worry about whether what you do makes her really mad or not.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/02/18 01:20 PM
1

What stage are you at now? How are things going? So, my situation is a lot like yours. I am just past getting "really" OI about sex and the marriage, and my wife responded with an extended anger phase (2+ weeks of coldness and general silent treatment) culminating in a conversation where I succinctly made it clear I was moving on with my happy life without her. My conduct was consistent with this, e.g. I had been scheduling weekly activities with the kids ("adventure time") and making minimal ef…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/02/18 12:48 PM
1

my tendency is STFU and walk away (i.e. not reward shitty behavior), which comes across as butt hurt, where there are golden opportunities to hold frame and AA/AM. Suggestions. The trick to this is you have to get where you aren't scared that she's going to get mad. If you are there, then when she says something cutting, and you STFU, stand there a minute and think, can I tease her about this somehow? If you think of something, even something dumb, say it with a grin. If not, you can still walk …
/r/MarriedRedPill27/02/18 07:27 PM
1

OP, I'm going to second u/weakandsensitive here and expand. My take on your "12 week plan" and the rest is that you are not having any fun at all. If you are doing your MAP right then you are doing things for yourself that you haven't allowed yourself to do--maybe for years--out of fear of her angry denials. Dude, you are way up in your head. Get out of there. Fix yourself first. Start doing the shit you want to do and let her follow or not. If she wants to be nothing more than a roommate (or fl…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/02/18 04:59 PM
2

It sounds to me from your post that you are on track. There are a lot of good developments in your description, such as your wife changing the facebook status and pic and overtly admitting the issue of lack of sex. I was at that point recently, where my wife openly acknowledged the sex issue. So, were having a serious talk--she was complaining that she felt I was not giving a shit about her. I told her look, I'm perfectly happy with my life, I'm just not going to hang around with a woman who is …
/r/MarriedRedPill27/02/18 01:40 PM
1

OYS Week 18 Stats: 50, 5’10”, 163.5, bf 20.4%(?) . SL5x5. 1RM: Squat 210; BP 192; OHP 126, history-drunk captain/career beta at home. Her: 43, 5'2", 115, 32D, strong-willed feminist type. Relationship status: Clear skies. Diet:. Modified paleo (high protein, moderate fat, low carb), ~1500 cal/day. Going well, although I am a little frustrated this week since I'm getting too thin for my replacement wardrobe; size 34s are hanging off me now, I'm a comfortable 32. MAP: Had a fun getaway weekend wit…
/r/MarriedRedPill27/02/18 01:24 PM
1

I'm sorry, I am sure you are in great pain over this. However, you need to man up, be stoic, and make a Decision. Your decision is whether to become Captain Save-A-Ho and marry a faithless woman who prioritizes pleasing herself physically over her own well being. If you choose this route, you will always be dealing with her betrayals and trying to protect her from herself. She is a broken person who did not learn basic values as a child. Your other option is to stop your losses, stay friends wit…
/r/askMRP27/02/18 01:00 PM
3

I just went through this. “I feel like you don’t give a shit about me.” On the Thursday night she was screaming she hated me. After spending a Saturday morning and afternoon on her own-total personality change, on board. Just hang in there. Her mood can change on a dime, any time.
/r/askMRP24/02/18 10:03 PM
2

Try thinking about provoking her when she’s bitchy for your own entertainment.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/02/18 08:48 PM
2

I honestly don't know if I have ever fully applied myself to anything. The thing I need to correct the most is my lack of discipline. How I wish I had this wake-up call at your age. I need to get the gym. I keep finding excuses and not pulling the trigger. My only options really are either 5am or 9pm. Stop making excuses. Going to the gym is the one thing that almost anyone will forgive you for making time for. You need motivation. Think about this. The more you travel down this beta path you ar…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/02/18 12:56 PM
1

Lol, 10-4
/r/MarriedRedPill20/02/18 10:42 PM
1

Radical honesty - occasionally as needed - can be very helpful. ... I started by saying "I don't like you." That was pretty similar to our conversation, except my frame was that I didn't like being around her anymore because she wasn't any fun to be around, kind of thing. And based on her response not her words it was the right approach. UReach180 provided you fantastic advice last time. Yeah he did. I mean, I've received tons of great advice here and wouldn't want to single anyone in particular…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/02/18 07:31 PM
3

In the end she seemed to come to terms with things and on the way home she said "I'd rather have you as the captain than not even onboard, which I felt you weren't before". Good work, keep your foot on the gas. I just replied with "Our phone company called, they are running low on texts". Awesome, lol.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/02/18 07:06 PM
1

YOUR A NICE GUY FROM HELL. Op, this.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/02/18 06:59 PM
3

I second nofap and also cut out all porn.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/02/18 06:57 PM
1

Thanks. That ShoulderRok looks really cool. I see why you made one ... and the tactical version looks even cooler. Hmm...
/r/MarriedRedPill20/02/18 06:53 PM
2

Thanks, this is timely advice. I caught myself having failed a really simple sh!t test last night just because I was anticipating sexy times and didn't want to rock the boat. I got away with it but it shook me how easy it is to backslide when things are going well.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/02/18 06:51 PM
2

If I just focus on her actions rather than her words, mine seems to respond well to the honest approach. I got a belly jab this weekend in retaliation so it sounds like maybe ours are similar. :)
/r/MarriedRedPill20/02/18 06:49 PM
1

It seems you're still thinking about it as doing it for your wife's sake though ("I need to start leading my wife's emotions...") If I'm reading too far into that, then disregard. I think so. I need to lead her emotions to fix me -- I think I would have this problem with any woman. AWALT. Good point though about me enjoying the playfulness. That's what I need to keep in view at all times.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/02/18 06:48 PM
2

The good news is that there is absolutely nothing to be afraid of now that you are grown up. So what if she gets mad? What’s she going to do, divorce you? Almost certainly not, but if so—fine. What I found is that she can go from yelling that she hates me for not giving a crap about her feelz one day to fucking my brains out the very next day. Just wait that shit out.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/02/18 06:39 PM
1

These are good points, I need to keep thinking about this.
/r/MarriedRedPill20/02/18 04:10 PM
1

Surely this stems from mommy issues. Yeah, that's what NMMNG really opened my eyes to. Domineering maternal figure who uses conditional love to control her son, who in turn lives in fear of her emotional reactions to his behavior and learns that the only way to survive is to be passive aggressive. My childhood to a 'T.'
/r/MarriedRedPill20/02/18 03:57 PM
4

I also couldnt do OHP the last workout beacause of a shoulder issue. I've encountered these. Search youtube for videos on shoulder pain, strengthening shoulder. There are stretches and exercises you can do that will clear the shoulder pain right up. Cable internal/external rotations, band pull-aparts, face pulls, and band dislocates (google or youtube them all if you need) every time you're in the gym for 5 minutes, or just when resting between compound sets. Not heavy, but light/moderate for 10…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/02/18 01:16 PM
2

Post your stats, it will help people advise you better. [T-levels-] maybe it's all in my head. I overthink everything. That is a good clue. How are your basics (sleep, exercise, etc)? Have you evaluated environmental factors (soy or other testosterone antagonists)?
/r/MarriedRedPill20/02/18 01:11 PM
1

OYS Week 17 Stats: 50, 5’10”, 165, bf 20.4% . SL5x5. 1RM: Squat 207; BP 184; OHP 120, history-drunk captain/career beta at home. Her: 43, 5'2", 115, 32D, strong-willed feminist type. Relationship status: Rocking. After two epiphanies last week, and two weeks of Siberia capped with a total shitstorm, during which I somehow held frame and applied some newly mastered MRP, we have broken through to maybe the best sex and interpersonal dynamic since we started dating. Background: Last week in [my OYS…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/02/18 01:05 PM
1

All because I’m too scared to have the real talk with my fat wife about how to get her looking hot again. This is your problem sweetheart. You have some of the basics down like lifting, SMV, and presumably, some dread. But you don't have OI about the marriage and you don't have DGAF about her feelz. You are scared that she is going to get angry or upset if you tell her she needs to get in shape. This fear is preventing you from having an honest relationship with your wife. And if you were honest…
/r/MarriedRedPill20/02/18 12:52 PM
2

I've had some similar experiences in my RP journey, and have decided that God is--at times--using my sin to make me new. Overall I am on a trajectory of improvement, as a biblical man at least, and (I hope) a better example of an image-bearer. I look at what I was doing before--my beta period--as idolizing my wife and our sexual relationship--great sins. I had to un-learn making those things into idols. My experience has been that such lessons--learning to let go of major sinful habits--are usua…
/r/RPChristians19/02/18 08:37 PM
6

Agree. He needs to lead her out of her passive aggressive anger back into his frame. This OPs LTR can tell he is butthurt, that kind of mind reading is child’s play for a woman.
/r/askTRP18/02/18 08:38 PM
1

In patriarchal societies it is obvious. Only because the West has become predominantly matriarchal is the truth suppressed by massive distraction campaigns, social pressure, and thought policing. To everyone’s detriment and unhappiness, I might add, including the “fairer sex.”
/r/askMRP18/02/18 02:11 PM
1

Lol. I planned to say, “I’m confident it will work itself out one way or another.” And then broken record. I had just told her “I’m perfectly happy with my life. I’m not worried about anything.” That’s what led to her comment that I described, above. There is a bigger context here, I had a major breakthrough earlier in the week (see my FR on teasing) which itself led to another breakthrough on a couple candid / honest conversations that seem to have totally moved the needle on our relationship (…
/r/askMRP18/02/18 01:23 PM
1

Having been through your initial phase relatively recently, let me offer a more granular perspective. At this point if you start changing and saying “no” and junk like that, you are going to provoke angry responses from her that you don’t have tools to deal with yet. My suggestion would be to keep the status quo and work on two things above all for now: OI and DGAF, in that order. First you need to get over the fear of not getting laid because she is upset. The next “level” of OI is as to the su…
/r/askMRP17/02/18 06:09 PM
2

Thanks. I think I'll start running on the road a little longer (when I go these days I usually just run jog a quick mile) and see how my knees feel, maybe figure out where the current cutoff is. I'm thinking too that I should look into my running form, to improve my stride or something, to reduce risk of injury given the heavy lifting.
/r/MarriedRedPill16/02/18 01:12 PM
1

Yes, this. I was thinking on the way in this morning about how I couldn't have accepted your advice at first because I was still too afraid of her anger. There's a kind of progression, maybe it's winding things in reverse. First step, you have to develop OI so you stop avoiding making her upset just to get laid. After that you have to learn to NGAF and STFU when she's mad so that her being mad doesn't make you fearful and anxious. But you can't stop there, because it's still dysfunctional. What …
/r/MarriedRedPill16/02/18 01:05 PM
1

Back in my 20's I did a bunch of 5Ks and 15Ks. Lately I've been doing some intense cardio training for a few months and can easily jog a road mile so I'm pretty sure I can get up to 5K quickly. My only concern is about combining the running with the heavy squatting I'm doing, but I think I'll just have to try it. It's going to be really nice weather for running here very soon so this could be a good option.
/r/MarriedRedPill15/02/18 01:16 PM
1

Cool. I'll get it ordered now.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/02/18 09:36 PM
2

Dude this just gave me an epiphany and I think a breakthrough as to what has been holding me back at my current understanding of frame, and maybe even a lot of the power struggles we've been having. Of course-teasing her and provoking her feelz in a fun way that I enjoy. I've already started and it is so natural and reminds me how I was way way back when I was single. Thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/02/18 07:20 PM
1

I saw your Ninja blender on Instagram. Do you like it for food prep?
/r/MarriedRedPill14/02/18 04:14 PM
1

Yes, that's it.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/02/18 01:29 AM
1

I think of myself as a brand (not my idea, maybe Gorilla Mindset?). Part of my mission is to constantly improve my brand. My business at the moment is only useful to the extent it supports the mission.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/02/18 09:23 PM
1

That'd be great. I'm definitely going to take a stab at prepping this weekend.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/02/18 09:07 PM
1

That's a really great point. I think I will start doing this for the other four nights of the week.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/02/18 07:00 PM
1

I will check it out, thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill13/02/18 03:59 PM
2

It was more of a OYS moment. A group asked "where has Mrs. Wildnight been the last few weekends?" I wasn't going to lie--that's one of the things I have been working on (just being honest and not worrying about what ppl think).
/r/MarriedRedPill13/02/18 03:58 PM
1

OYS Week 16 Stats: 50, 5’10”, 165, bf 20.7% . SL5x5. 1RM: Squat 207; BP 184; OHP 100, drunk captain/career beta at home. Her: 43, 5'2", 115, 32D, strong-willed feminist type. Relationship status: Siberia. Diet/Fitness: Currently on day 4 of a planned 7-day water fast. I am tracking daily scale weight and impedance body fat among other stats. When I finish it will be my longest fast to date. Workouts continue to progress well. Had a nice experience in the gym this weekend. I've been adding some w…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/02/18 10:49 AM
1

I relate to your question. We have repressed our own wants and desires for so long that we can’t even find them any more. Start small. What are some things that you’ve wanted to do, say with the kids, that you didn’t do because your wife didn’t want to? For instance, I took my boys to a local zip lining place this weekend without her. Always wanted to, never did because she always poo-poo’d it. Needless to say we had a great time. Before we got married I loved adventure travel. I plan to do more…
/r/askMRP11/02/18 02:24 PM
1

I read your post history and a bunch of your recent comments. I'm really sorry about your son. I've got three and that's the worst thing I can imagine in my dark moments. Thank you for investing the time. I read your reply three times. The rough treatment that people here give us newbies is painful and perfect. It got me off my ass and moving fast. You didn't read the really good stuff where just after my first post I repeatedly puked on MRP and got my ass handed to me repeatedly. It seems I am …
/r/askMRP11/02/18 01:06 PM
2

Must be present to win rocks. You’re right, coffee is not my problem. Right now I’m locked in a titanic power struggle and she is the only one fighting.
/r/askMRP10/02/18 09:29 PM
1

There’s a lot of good advice already posted so I will just add this. It seems obvious to me that your wife gained and kept the extra weight to make you bother her less about sex. She doesn’t even want to be in the same bed with you to make sure sex doesn’t happen. That woman really doesn’t want to have sex with you. Even super betas should get some trickle sex if they aren’t repulsive. It seems like there’s more to the story..?
/r/askMRP09/02/18 01:26 AM
1

Jordan Peterson’s New book, 12 rules
/r/askMRP08/02/18 01:09 AM
3

Google whether you have three days to cancel a contract where you live.
/r/askMRP07/02/18 08:20 PM
1

My friend, you are in the phase of your relationship where she is giving you the best treatment you are ever going to get from her, and it is driving you crazy already. It is not going to get better once you get married. It is going to get a lot worse. Imagine feeling a lot worse than you do right now, all the time. Rip off the band aid. Take this experience and use it to help you find a girl who would never consider doing something like this. All the shit my wife has given me, she would never t…
/r/askMRP07/02/18 03:43 PM
2

Agree. If you hang around, she may try to get pregnant when she realizes that you are getting ready to skate, which she will. I would not have sex with her no matter how inviting she makes it from here on out. Best to kill the puppy tomorrow, IMO. FYI, the shit she gave you the next day was her feeling guilty for something and rationalizing it by making it your fault. While you don’t know what, you do know she has something to feel guilty about. Next.
/r/askMRP07/02/18 01:23 AM
1

Yeah, now I remember this. What’d you wind up doing? Go without her? Re-reading your post, seems like our situations share some similarities. I’ve wondered if mine is a borderline personality from time to time. Today she texted me that we need to go to counseling because she doesn’t feel “heard or understood” in our conversations. She wants a counselor to tell me so I’ll listen. ;)
/r/MarriedRedPill06/02/18 05:35 PM
1

Great post, thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill06/02/18 04:02 PM
1

Tried to find your birthday incident post but couldn't. Please post a link if you get a minute--timely because I forgot to mention above that mine's birthday is this weekend. However it looks like you are facing the same kind of very angry wife that I am. It's kind of funny though how it gives you so much more time and space to work on your MAP? Sorry about the 3-year dry spell; no idea what I would do in your place. You have my sympathies, and you are managing your own anger remarkably well...
/r/MarriedRedPill06/02/18 03:59 PM
1

OYS 15 Stats: 50, 5’10”, 165, bf 21.4% . SL5x5. 1RM: Squat 207; BP 184; OHP 100, drunk captain/career beta at home. Her: 43, 5'2", 115, 32D, strong-willed feminist type. Overview: Quick OYS this week due to short week and workload. Good week for MAP, pretty quiet at home bc W is giving me the frost treatment, good times with kids. Reading: Currently reading The Manipulated Male. Next Practical Female Psychology. Fitness: On track, diet and workouts going well, no injuries. Had a fun experience i…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/02/18 01:42 PM
1

I've been becoming increasingly, sadly, hard hearted toward my wife. Not unfriendly, just dgaf. ... In a way, her checking out of the marriage has been a gift, as it is making it easier to NGAF, which reduces my proclivity for DEERing or being needy. I've experienced something similar. As my frame improves, I notice that I have much less of what I used to consider to be sympathy toward her. Ironically I actually treat her better than I have in a long time because I'm never acting butthurt or pas…
/r/MarriedRedPill06/02/18 01:29 PM
3

Maybe tracking sex is interfering with your developing becoming OI about the sex. It also sounds like you are trying to “prove” how often you are “really” having sex. I get it, my wife gaslights the sh&t out of me about how often we are having sex. But if you are trying to argue with her, to prove to the therapist that you are right and she is wrong, you are operating deep in her frame and you will—frustrating as it may be—never ever win that argument. What if you quit tracking and just took the…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/02/18 09:22 PM
1

If you get a minute, please do expand. Corey Worthington is the skater dude on the news interview, right, the "natural alpha" who didn't apologize for throwing the big house party thing? Not easily making the connection here...
/r/MarriedRedPill02/02/18 03:30 PM
1

My comment was not well written and a little misleading. But I am confused just now regarding these issues, and your comment makes sense in a practical way. After her hysterical temper tantrum last night with the kids, I am kind of wondering if I am doing something wrong. Here's where I am. I've been developing real OI about sexual access for weeks-no more issue here. Recently I got OI about the survival of the marriage. I've been handling shit tests by STFUing for the most part, let's say 90% s…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/02/18 02:33 PM
1

I didn’t say I agreed with LOP but that’s what it says. Anyway, MRP, RP and PUA are all sexual strategies as I understand it. Aren’t there tribal/political issues in career development that don’t exist in male-female relationships calling for different techniques?
/r/MarriedRedPill01/02/18 04:35 PM
1

So what’s the right balance between DGAF about whether the marriage survives or not and focusing on her good points to avoid...being mad? Drifting away into complete apathy? Enjoying being a jerk?
/r/MarriedRedPill01/02/18 04:31 PM
1

Twin dread.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/02/18 01:36 PM
1

reminding himself daily what he loves about his wife I really need to start doing this.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/02/18 01:32 PM
1

Laws of Power would say become your supervisor's critical trusted resource and then, when the time is optimal, put the knife in and take his place.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/02/18 01:30 PM
1

Thank you, this gives me a lot to think about.
/r/MarriedRedPill01/02/18 12:49 PM
1

Hamster activated. :) Your comment is very interesting, compelling, and adds to the pile of other circumstantial evidence. I'm continuing to be stoic about this possibility until I get some direct evidence, because what I do about it except worry anyway? Stay plan is the go plan. This month I'll be-gingerly-initiating some separation of assets/finances. Anyway please keep your always insightful comments coming. Re: workouts/injuries. So, I have a fantastic massage therapist who separately resear…
/r/MarriedRedPill31/01/18 02:11 PM
1

Of course it could also just be as simple as she wasn't feeling good and had hurt feelings that I wasn't thinking about her constantly while I was running errands.
/r/MarriedRedPill30/01/18 06:37 PM
1

I started on the reading. I really think you are on to something. Reminds me of an argument we had over a year ago--a big one. She broke down crying and told me that she thought the only reason I married her 14 years ago was because she was pregnant, and she knows I was going to break up with her. There's some truth to this. She's never mentioned it before or since. I really don't know what to do with it. Of course I comforted her in that moment (despite the argument). It seems this could be a g…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/01/18 06:31 PM
1

OYS 14 Stats: 50, 5’10”, 166, bf 21.4% . SL5x5. 1RM: Squat 207; BP 184; OHP 100, drunk captain/career beta at home. Her: 43, 5'2", 115, 32D, strong-willed feminist type. Reading: Currently reading Extreme Ownership. Feedback: I had three cool IOI experiences this week. Waitress. I went to a college bar/restaurant to wait for some friends to go to a nearby event. I was first to arrive. The HB7 20-ish waitress came over and started chatting me up. She wanted to tell me about all the "nice clothes"…
/r/MarriedRedPill30/01/18 01:27 PM
6

Your story is so similar to mine that it is really eery. Same height, starting weight (well, I was around 190, 28% body fat), frequency of sex (she claimed it's once a week but then we missed weeks because somebody's sick, traveling, etc), and core facts. Get this, same epiphany: Then it hit me, clear as day: my wife is not attracted to me sexually. She has no desire at all to engage in sex with me. It was so clear that it made me emotional and dizzy. I actually bought us a massage table as a su…
/r/askMRP30/01/18 01:34 AM
2

So, you can now give yourself permission to dispense with all those attempts at foreplay or making her climax. She's not into it anyway. Try this next time, have sex with the starfish, climax as fast as you can, and as soon as you're done hop up, kiss her quickly, and jump in the shower, leaving her on the bed. You will feel a lot better about it (for now).
/r/askMRP30/01/18 01:13 AM
1

Having heard their claims, I TOTALLY see what they’re talking about. I guess I’ve grown accustomed to it and I stopped seeing the issue they brought up. Now that I’m home and quietly observing, I see everything here talking about. You mean you left your wife's frame for your family's frame? What's your frame?
/r/askMRP29/01/18 03:05 PM
1

Um no. Too early for me for that kind of move. Right now, stay plan is the same as the go plan.
/r/askMRP28/01/18 12:35 PM
1

Thanks, this is helpful. Your comments are well taken. Reread the Commandments of Poon - https://heartiste.wordpress.com/the-sixteen-commandments-of-poon/ , and tell us which one you violated. Say sorry only when necessary. That slipped out and I knew I fucked up as soon as I said it. I tried to claw back some self-esteem by saying I didn't even think of it. Me: (approaching) Of course I care about you… You are utterly and completely in her frame here. You could have pressure flipped, agreed and…
/r/askMRP28/01/18 02:35 AM
2

I don’t know what religion has to do with this. You made some kind of connection that isn’t there. The world is the world, whether you believe God made it or not. Up to us to figure out how it works and our place in it.
/r/askMRP28/01/18 12:56 AM
1

Thanks. I read this several times and saved it. I think you just outlined a comprehensive approach to building my frame to the next point on the learning curve. I’ve been perfectly nice and solicitous since just after the encounter. She’s polite but cold and not going to fuck me any time soon but what else is new? I enjoyed your final suggestion. “I guess I forgot again.” Lol.
/r/askMRP28/01/18 12:55 AM
1

<deleted-wrong place>
/r/askMRP28/01/18 12:29 AM
8

Yeah, I think you're going to see some pretty consistent responses here. You need to see a divorce lawyer on Monday (don't tell her anything until you are ready to pull the trigger!) because, at minimum: She continues sleeping with whoever and is open about it. she also committed several violent act towards my kids. The experienced guys on here will give you more helpful advice but I suggest: You need to man up and protect those kids from their whore mother. They are still young enough to surviv…
/r/askMRP27/01/18 10:06 PM
2

This. I used to do this too, when I couldn't find X my next step would be to ask my wife. To get myself to stop, now I imagine that when I ask her to help me she's thinking "what a useless asshole, he can't even find X." I find the fucking thing myself now.
/r/askMRP27/01/18 09:56 PM
2

No, I don't think canned lines are going to help. You can't possibly remember them anyway. But trying to get your head around the frame of thinking -- could a conflict like this possibly be funny? How? That's where a suggestion like the above helps. As far as being a "poser"--I really have no idea what you're talking about. I'm claiming no authority on anything..?
/r/askMRP27/01/18 09:51 PM
1

I get that it wasn't about the coffee. I even said I think it was about getting back later than she expected (I didn't give her any estimate, to your other reply). And sure, of course, generally speaking it's about the beta-hole that I'm in. I'm working on it, that's why I asked for feedback. Thanks.
/r/askMRP27/01/18 09:41 PM
1

She just wanted something to bitch about in response to what's probably a lack of leadership on your part in the general sense, True, but that's been going on for years... You DEERed at least twice, Yeah, you and u/rocknrollchuck helped me see this. I am a textbook recovering poster boy for NMMNG. You sound like you've made progress, but you haven't made as much progress as you think. That's about how I feel. Something like this should be easy to handle and shouldn't result in a cold front comin…
/r/askMRP27/01/18 09:35 PM
1

Dammit, you're right. Thanks, this was really helpful.
/r/askMRP27/01/18 09:32 PM
2

I’m confused by your question. I did not defend, explain, excuse, or deny the facts. I didn’t discuss the feelz. My comments were short and process oriented. When she got unpleasant I took away my presence and attention. .?
/r/askMRP27/01/18 05:23 PM
1

I was trying to think of something funny and came up empty. This is priceless. Thanks.
/r/askMRP27/01/18 05:19 PM
1

Huh. Everybody seems hung up on not getting her coffee. I’m not her fucking butler. I think I’ll have to add some background. She was sick. That’s why I was running errands, so she could finger fuck her phone on the couch. Which she knew perfectly well. It’s wasn’t convenient to get her the coffee, and she hasn’t been treating me well lately.
/r/askMRP27/01/18 05:06 PM
1

I don’t think I succeeded but wasn’t sure why. That’s why I asked. Yeah, the sorry slipped out. But I didn’t get into the whole explanation that coffee was an early stop in several errands so there was no point in asking anybody. I guess I avoided DEERing to that extent.
/r/askMRP27/01/18 05:03 PM
1

I didn’t think of getting her coffee because it was an early stop in my errands. Had it been a later or last stop, I would have. As to rewards, she hasn’t earned any. As far as the argument, I did not argue or engage. I fogged and broken recorded.
/r/askMRP27/01/18 05:00 PM
3

Read your OYS. Since you got married in 2011: ...it was usually her leading the relationship and me following, which worked out OK until we had our first child.Then I became the drunk captain, I don't think you are the drunk captain. You never were the captain. You are a drunk first mate. In truth, you are a "career beta". Some links that may be helpful: MRP Beginner's Guide for the Career Beta. Read this post and self-evaluate. Here's one about a career beta who got slapped like you. And you ar…
/r/askMRP26/01/18 01:36 PM
1

Great post, thanks.
/r/askMRP23/01/18 06:18 PM
1

That’s just what I’m talking about. In hindsight, WTF was I thinking?? Sad.
/r/MarriedRedPill23/01/18 06:14 PM
2

Oh shit, you described my marriage to a 'T'. Ice queen / days-weeks / weaponing sex / low self-esteem / good-bad periods / hurt feelz trigger / chronic problem / seems addicted because ends good periods fast in favor of freeze-out periods...
/r/askMRP23/01/18 01:45 PM
3

I’m starting to slowly grasp the concept ”she is water and you are the container”. I can see that the less I bitch and whine, the less my wife does it. I had a similar epiphany. I realized that I constantly complained when asked normal social status questions ("how are you") even though I thought I was doing it in a funny / ironic / sarcastic way. Now when my W (or anyone) asks I always give an enthusiastic positive response, now trying for amusing / interesting. I changed this for my mental hea…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/01/18 01:31 PM
1

OYS 13 Stats: 50, 5’10”, 166, bf 21.4% . SL5x5. 1RM: Squat 207; BP 184; OHP 100, career beta at home. Her: 43, 5'2", 115, 32D, strong-willed feminist type. Both attractive. Reading: Currently reading Extreme Ownership. Liking it a lot. Great applications for business. Fitness: Going well. Got a good bump from my fast and dropped 2% bf, which had been plateau’d for a long time. There was a moment in the mirror the other day where--just for a second--I saw a four-pack. Could also be increased dail…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/01/18 01:21 PM
2

I routinely fast and workout and feel great. Fasting triggers physiological survival effects such as increased testosterone production and increased available growth hormone. I just completed a four-day water fast and did two heavy lifting routines during that time, on SL5x5 and increased my weights like normal. I usually intermittent fast during the day and workout at lunchtimes instead of eating, so I won't have eaten since the night before. I take creatine and BCAA's before the workout and BC…
/r/RPChristians22/01/18 01:14 PM
2

Read the whole sidebar --> (If you are using the app, sidebar is found under "community info.") You'll ask better questions once you understand the key concepts and vocabulary. Right now, how the fuck should any of us know what's going on in your wife's mind from that short post? Please post your age, weight, income, body fat %, and regular exercise regimen. Tell us her age, weight, and general appearance.
/r/askMRP22/01/18 01:07 PM
1

Dude, I tried the finger sucking thing and it was a home run. To set this up, understand that while I have made a little progress she is pretty uptight with me about doing anything different. She's talking a little now which is great but used to shut that down fast. On the evening in question, I asked her to suck my cock a little and she said "um, no, we're not doing that tonight." Whatever, she got on the bed and after a little titty play she turned over. She loves it when I fuck her from behin…
/r/askMRP22/01/18 12:51 PM
1

Reading that may help you: See [hypergamy] (https://therationalmale.com) See [Rollo- A woman can never love a man the way a man loves a woman] (https://therationalmale.com/2013/10/08/love-story/) See [Briffault’s Law] (https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1anu3q/briffaults_law/) Although you are developing abundance (which does not require cheating) your post reeks of oneitis. You just want to find a new “the one” who truly truly loves you for “just you.” Fuck that. …
/r/MarriedRedPill20/01/18 05:39 PM
3

Marriage will challenge you more than anything else, will make you a better man, and will produce rewards that are difficult to quantify (just as with having kids). But opinions differ - I offer this just so you know where I am coming from. Advice for pre-selection. Study her relationship with her parents, and in particular, how she treats her father. How she treats her father will tell you a lot about how she’ll treat you. And you’ll learn how she likes to be treated. And if you are too differe…
/r/askMRP19/01/18 04:10 PM
2

What exactly do you want? You say she’s responding to you sexually, check. She’s more submissive, check. You say she’s keeping her looks, meaning you are still attracted to her, check. You want an apology or something? Love poems? Sounds like you are on track to me. Don’t screw it up by hamstering. Keep doing what you have been doing. Throw the damned picture away if you don’t like it.
/r/askMRP19/01/18 01:51 PM
13

Take the kids and go to the dinner. Kiss your wife on the way out (she’ll be cold but whatever). Tell her you’ll bring her back a slice of cake and go. Then when you get back kiss her and act totally normal no matter how witchy she is. Let her steam for a week if she wants. What’s she going to do, divorce you? These are good baby steps. I bet she gives in at the last minute and goes with you.
/r/askMRP19/01/18 02:43 AM
1

Sure. I would also add that ECOA makes it illegal for a bank to require a spouse’s signature when the applying spouse is independently creditworthy.
/r/askMRP18/01/18 07:16 PM
1

Look up the rule of two thirds (2/3). Rule suggests you should be getting her 2/3 the stuff she’s getting you.
/r/askMRP18/01/18 04:54 PM
1

I buy commercial real estate with leverage and my wife does not have to sign anything, because I use an LLC to hold the property. And so our jointly-owned assets are protected because I live in a state where creditors of one spouse cannot reach joint assets.
/r/askMRP18/01/18 04:21 PM
2

You are missing the point. Remember that old saw “if you love something set it free?” There’s a similar counter intuitive principle that applies to you. The more your goal is to fix your marriage the less likely you can possibly succeed-especially in your case. Your wife knows you inside out and can smell your neediness a mile away. Bottom line: you must single mindedly fix yourself and become truly outcome independent (“OI”) as to what happens with your marriage. It took me far too long to figu…
/r/askMRP18/01/18 03:08 PM
1

Not totally positive about the bf% because it was a couple weeks before that I last measured. But it’s been stuck at 24% for some time. So that’s the best data I have. Can’t say why not more scale weight lost except I stay super hydrated (no water weight lost) and I believe I continued building muscle on the fast. I was thinking some more...the hardest thing was not putting anything in my coffee. Black coffee gets old fast.
/r/MarriedRedPill18/01/18 12:19 AM
1

Thanks. I've been focusing on hitting daily protein minimums the last 30 days or so and I seem to be building more visible muscle recently, or I guess it could just be a coincidence to where I am overall.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/01/18 07:16 PM
1

I did two lifting sessions while on the fast (SL A and B). Both were at weights slightly increased from previous sessions and felt great. I used creatine before, and non-flavored BCAA's before and after the workouts. As I understand the science (youtube Jason Fung, MD) the body produces increased testosterone and growth hormone during a fast after the first 24 hours or so. Fasting gets easier and more enjoyable after you get past the typical newbie problems (mealtime hunger pangs, etc). Anyway I…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/01/18 07:13 PM
1

Well, if everyone thinks so, I suppose I could be down for it under certain conditions. As long as I don't have to see, hear, feel, or taste any other cocks I guess I could--perhaps--give it a go. No promises though.
/r/MarriedRedPill17/01/18 07:05 PM
1

My next course of action is tackling these two limiting beliefs, before I can advance to higher levels of dread. I was deluding myself I was ready for Dread-Level 5. Sounds like you are on track. My story is somewhat similar to yours and I also had some early successes that fooled me into thinking I was way ahead of the curve. Now, three months in, I can see so much more clearly why this thing is going to take a year--best case scenario. But I will say that the journey is worth it, I am so much …
/r/MarriedRedPill17/01/18 02:09 PM
1

keep gaining muscle while you're at it. Your actual scale weight is pretty spot on now, you just need to recomp. So the conventional wisdom seems to be cut / bulk cycles. Is there anything more efficient than this?
/r/MarriedRedPill17/01/18 01:45 PM
1

I didn’t jump to a conclusion at all, I feel I have sufficient evidence to consider the possibility. What makes you think I’m projecting?
/r/askMRP17/01/18 01:24 PM
3

Mine has always let me drive, She's always what, buddy? :) head in hands, groaning Jeez. Lol. So much work to do...
/r/MarriedRedPill17/01/18 01:17 PM
1

I’m definitely going to try the finger sucking. :) no interest in MFM.
/r/askMRP17/01/18 12:53 AM
1

I wonder if deep down, she's really insecure. Seems like it actually. You are very perceptive. She is hyper-sensitive to criticism, from me more than anyone. And guarded. The few times she has broken down she has revealed bitterly harsh self-criticism. Maybe I should create more comfort and safety ... something I’ve never really prioritized but could certainly begin to highlight. She’s pretty strong and independent to the world. I've noticed my wife has started defaulting to walking to the passe…
/r/MarriedRedPill17/01/18 12:51 AM
1

If only we’d found MRP ten years ago... I’m taking it slow-that’s one thing I like about SL5x5. A couple weeks ago I felt a telling twinge in my right knee, took a week off squat, and deloaded 15%. I also added pre-workout stretching from a power lifter routine. I can’t afford any years off :)
/r/askMRP17/01/18 12:35 AM
2

This
/r/askMRP16/01/18 06:08 PM
1

Yes, this is a much clearer description of what I'm hoping to accomplish. I've read "Creating your Slut" but it's been a while, I'll find it again.
/r/askMRP16/01/18 03:15 PM
2

I've been eating more than I should. I hate myself for that. I keep telling myself I'm not gonna eat tmrw etc but I still manage to put in some shitty calories in me. Try fasting for longer than 24 hours. I'm currently on day four of a water fast and it feels great. This will kill your recurring strong appetite. If you were able to do a 16:8 IF you can try 24 hours next. Once you get 24 hours down, try 2 days, and so forth. It will mess up your internal pavlov's dog that keeps salivating at meal…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/01/18 03:09 PM
1

Noopept What brand are you taking?
/r/MarriedRedPill16/01/18 03:05 PM
1

OYS 3 Months. “How little I actually know” The week in which I learned: how much I still need to learn; that my W has a troubling MMF fantasy; and why it takes so long to make the MRP journey. Stats: 50, 5’10”, 170, bf 24% . SL5x5. 1RM: Squat 207; BP 184; OHP 100, career beta at home. Her: 43, 5'2", 115, 32D, strong-willed feminist type. Both attractive. This week I want to recap my progress for my three-month anniversary--I can’t believe it’s been three months of MRP already. I’ve come a long w…
/r/MarriedRedPill16/01/18 02:45 PM
1

MMF is never happening. My goals are to (a) encourage her to share fantasies and (b) increase DEVI.
/r/askMRP16/01/18 02:19 PM
1

It was how quickly she affirmed the idea that suggested MMF. Along the lines you're thinking though, one of the ideas I've been playing with was to suggest next time something like "what if the other me was a girl?' and see what happens. Still though, where we are I would be reluctant to bring a girl into bed with us. I'm not far along enough yet (tho the personal gains so far are truly amazing -- and all due to MRP).
/r/askMRP16/01/18 02:18 PM
1

Are you sure you aren’t the one subconsciously fixated on a MMF? Lol no way. There's no way that's happening. My goals are (1) to encourage fantasy sharing and (2) increase DEVI.
/r/askMRP16/01/18 02:15 PM
1

IMO you are Chicken Little. ... Kill your hamster before you mess up what you have so far. Too true. I recognize this and am going very slow whenever I get an "idea."
/r/askMRP16/01/18 02:13 PM
1

Lol. I’m just a newbie and I’m on the StrongLifts plan, so I add 5 pounds per deadlifts session. So far I haven’t had any trouble with it. So my max could be higher. But, I was in the gym the other day, and saw a girl about my wife’s size walk up and dead lift the same weight I was working at. It gave me a bit of a wake up. :-)
/r/askMRP16/01/18 01:51 PM
1

You need to be clear on this without showing mate guarding. Hmm. I take your point. Seems like there’s a bit of a fine line here. On the one hand, I want to encourage her to cheer her fantasies without fear of judgment or criticism, and I don’t want to be mate guardey. On the other hand, as you say, I may need to set a hard boundary. I’ll have to think some about how to approach this.
/r/askMRP16/01/18 01:46 PM
1

before you get cucked Yeah, I see the warning sign, that’s why I called it a “bad” fantasy. It sucks but here I am in my own mess, which I am cleaning up as fast as I can. Rather than cry about it I’m going to find a way to make lemonade. Great technique suggestion. I’ll try it. Thanks.
/r/askMRP16/01/18 01:30 PM
1

Looks like an entertaining read if nothing else. Thanks.
/r/askMRP16/01/18 01:42 AM
2

I’d never agree to bringing any other guy in. I was thinking more about developing the fantasy into something else. Toys are a good idea.
/r/askMRP16/01/18 01:16 AM
1

No way I’d consider any other cock getting anywhere near either of us. Another way: completely ignore this or try to turn it into something that would be fun?
/r/askMRP16/01/18 01:13 AM
1

Thanks. This is helpful. maybe, more likely she googled "why is my husband being controlling" and read a buzzfeed article Yeah, I'm starting to think maybe I hamstered the hack. She hasn't said anything else RP-ish and I would expect some blowback if she was reading everything around here (not least my own posts).
/r/MarriedRedPill11/01/18 03:40 PM
2

Truly, till just now I never thought of it as OI about the marriage.
/r/MarriedRedPill10/01/18 10:37 PM
1

This is all spot on. I guess this shows the value of OYS, it helped show how far I had my head up my ass. Um. Dude. You do realize what you just typed here, right. Let you? What the everloving actual fuck? Nuff said. OMFG. tearing hair out even more covert contracts around sex (her "emotional connection" is just another way of saying she's gonna keep you in line and withhold pussy when you "misbehave") How could I miss this? You are exactly right. She’s been just about overt with selling sex sin…
/r/MarriedRedPill10/01/18 02:04 PM
2

I had been getting a angry at the dog for pissing on the carpet. When I returned on Friday, I also immediatly went back to the usual ease with which I had been passing them up to that point when I lost it. So once again I find that I had it before, I still do, and just wasn't doing it. Did I just get lazy? Did I just give up? Did I not see that I was losing ground as I lost it? I don't think I can answer that right now. Maybe you need to get away on a regular basis. Might be you are using time f…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/01/18 10:06 PM
1

Yes, I see what you're saying, you're right. It seems so obvious when pointed out...
/r/MarriedRedPill09/01/18 09:30 PM
2

All she would have to do is say "whats wrong?" and I would go off on a feels trip. I don't do that anymore but I still get the constant "whats wrong?" to which my response is always nothing. My wife constantly asks me what’s wrong too. I finally figured out how to answer RP style [apart from saying 'nothing' which never seems to end the discussion]: “what’s wrong? Are you kidding me? Alabama just won the national championship! Sheesh woman! Pay attention!” “what’s really wrong? So-and-so is stil…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/01/18 08:52 PM
1

Thanks, I laughed out loud at Tits or GTFO. Otherwise this week offered little to laugh about. is woman has you feeling she is always watching you? WTF is with your OPSEC? Yeah, I’ve got enough problems, it never felt right for me to be secretive or dishonest about my MRP. I’ve never—and will never—discuss it with her but since I expect honesty from her, I’m not going to deny what I’m doing or try to conceal it either. If she doesn’t like it, she knows how to pull the plug. I already had redpill…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/01/18 08:15 PM
2

Thanks. I’ve been thinking that the proportion of my OYS posts that are about her, rather than about me, indicates how far along I’ve come with my MAP, OYS and OI. I can’t fake it because I need to OYS, but I hope to get to the point where my OYS post 90%+ about me and no puking.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/01/18 08:06 PM
1

Starting each day with Marcus Aurelius' Meditations has been very helpful this month. Glad to hear. I've been thinking about starting this too. I've been having a lot of headaches lately. When I wake up and also when I have sugar it seems? I'm not sure. Maybe I'm drinking too much caffeine. I'll go back to one cup a day and switch to tea. I've been doing that 3pm shut-down lately. Self-employed means I'm not hurting anyone but me. I need to figure out how to have steady energy from 8 - 5. I thin…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/01/18 01:51 PM
1

This is helpful, thanks. My W is also very smart and constantly studies me the way a biologist studies a germ in a petri dish. If my form isn't perfect (which is a lot) my W loves calling me out on it.
/r/MarriedRedPill09/01/18 01:43 PM
1

after my shit show of a marriage my self confidence is in the gutters. I look my best ever, get compliments, get IOIs, but mentally I think something must be off, or it must be a misunderstanding, because I still feel unfuckable... I suspect that you won't be able to start healing emotionally until some time after the divorce is in the rear view mirror. You're not a robot; you have strong emotions about the death of your relationship with the mother of your children. Let yourself grieve for the …
/r/MarriedRedPill09/01/18 01:38 PM
1

OYS ~12 Weeks "One step forward, two steps back" Physical: The Good: So overall I lifted my best weights this week, and my tennis elbow is improving with various treatments. I squatted 185, 15 lbs over my body weight, which is a personal best. (I'm on SL5x5.) My OHP is 85 for 5 sets of 5, so I assume my 1 rep max is maybe 100, which is another personal best and my upper body looks awesome in the mirror right as I reach the top of the lift. Arms are starting to look muscular and tight rather than…
/r/MarriedRedPill09/01/18 01:31 PM
1

Maybe not. I thought you were asking if I was somehow acting domineering instead of leading by taking responsibility and setting an example. But maybe you meant something different.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/01/18 02:39 PM
1

W is hyper-sensitive to being manipulated (to a fault). She's never agreed to change or do anything different during our entire relationship. Which is not to say that she hasn't made some changes -- but she only does it silently after protesting that she completely disagrees. My model for years has been to steel myself for the explosion, tell her what's bugging me, grit my teeth during the backlash, then wait and see if she fixes it anyway. The only leading that is going to work with her is to j…
/r/MarriedRedPill05/01/18 01:14 PM
1

I think strong, smart women are sexy and they keep me on my game. I had a compliant one years ago. Boring. This is true for me too. I need to recover the enjoyment of the challenge.
/r/MarriedRedPill05/01/18 01:04 PM
1

there are some wives who jump at the chance to be led. There are others who aren't giving up the top dog spot without a fight I’m beginning to realize I have the second kind, and probably a bad case of it. There have been signs of course. If I had $1 for every time over the years that she said, “you know I hate it when anybody tells me what to do...” maybe dial up fun and dial up comfort in addition to resetting the scoreboard each day Truth, I’m having some trouble with this part just lately. S…
/r/MarriedRedPill04/01/18 11:15 PM
1

That’s right. How about a goal to bring up the BJs in some kind of fun/funny way and to maintain frame even if she is negative or critical about it at first?
/r/MarriedRedPill02/01/18 05:41 PM
1

I was going for cocky and funny but it may have been a little strained. These things come up fast—no time to prepare. :/
/r/MarriedRedPill02/01/18 04:05 PM
1

OYS 2018 Edition "Pushback" Overview: 173 (+2,-21 from start); 24%; We spent the week in the mountains which created its own set of MRP challenges. Overall I give myself a B or B+. Fitness: A great week considering that we were traveling for the holidays. Three cheat meals (2 favorite restaurants and one New Year's Eve buffet) which was a minus. But I fasted well the rest of the time and the diet did not completely fall apart, not at all. And the best part is I made the effort to find a local gy…
/r/MarriedRedPill02/01/18 02:02 PM
1

I would like feedback on setting specific sexual goals. Why not start with setting goals related to things that (a) you can control and (b) are not outcome dependent? I.e. set your goals on accomplishing parts of your MAP as you put into practice what you've learned here. For sex-related goals, initiating, gaming your wife, kino, redecorating bedroom, being fun, becoming more verbally assertive, etc., are all good ones to focus on at your stage.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/01/18 01:26 PM
1

Nice. Can't wait to see the 2018 summary report.
/r/MarriedRedPill02/01/18 01:09 PM
3

The Bible does not advocate marriage. Both Jesus and Paul advise that single status is just as good as married. See e.g. Matthew 19:12.
/r/askMRP30/12/17 01:47 PM
1

Cool, I’ll take a look at it. Didn’t know one was out there.
/r/RPChristians28/12/17 12:53 PM
1

Good point. All the new clothes for Christmas in the right sizes is a pretty clear tell.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/12/17 07:28 PM
2

Lol true. But in my case, my wife has not said one single word about any changes in my appearance since I started and probably never will. DNGAF. My kids noticing means I’m maybe starting to lead them right about which I Do GAF. So for me, that’s awesome.
/r/MarriedRedPill27/12/17 12:39 PM
1

Lol
/r/askMRP26/12/17 09:34 PM
1

As a counterpoint, maybe what’s going on is she fears rejecting you because you act out (butthurt) when rejected, so whenever you initiate it causes her stress. Maybe you are on to something with the moratorium idea—keep kino’ing but make it less sexual and less obvious that you want to fuck. Initiate but be totally prepared to be completely happy with rejection. Mine started responding better after I started to continue being happy even—especially—when rejected. Make sure that you are both capt…
/r/askMRP26/12/17 09:32 PM
6

It’s cool I am able to give you this gift. It’s going to change your life. When I first came here in desperation, I had no idea what the sidebar was either. Everybody kept telling me to read it. I was like WTF, I must be a complete idiot. Like me, you are probably using a phone or pad Reddit app. Otherwise the sidebar would be really obvious (the list of links on the right hand side of the main web page for this subreddit). In the app, you need to go to the three little dots (“...”) and choose “…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/12/17 05:21 PM
1

OYS 2.5 months. Stats: 5'9.5". 172lbs (+2), 24%bf (+.7). SL 5x5 x 4x/wk. 1 HIIT cardio/wk. 50 yo. 34/32 waist. Reading: Currently reading BLS (chapter 15) and listening to 48 Laws of Power. Started reading the sidebar over from the beginning yesterday, finding great nuggets that I missed the first time. Attractiveness: Since I started MRP I've dropped 4-6 sizes in waist and now wear a medium(!) shirt instead of large. (I would have looked like a fat sausage in medium before.) Needless to say I r…
/r/MarriedRedPill26/12/17 01:44 PM
3

Simply put, nagging is asking more than once. This assumes you are being the captain and OYS.
/r/askMRP26/12/17 02:15 AM
1

Merry Christmas. I’m grateful for everyone on this sub. Well, almost everyone ;p
/r/askMRP25/12/17 08:48 PM
11

Binge yourself on reading the sidebar, which is a collated collection of articles selected to walk you through changing your whole way of thinking. You have a lot to learn and it will help. Give yourself permission to bide your time regarding your marriage. You have assets. You don’t want to be divorce-raped. You need to keep quiet for now until you figure out what to do. Go see a divorce lawyer on Wednesday. Start preparing for divorce without her knowing what you are doing. You may decide to d…
/r/askMRP23/12/17 07:16 PM
1

You see what’s going on? She’s upset you are changing the terms of the deal. She—based on history—expects you to advance time and attention for sexual access, which she can take advantage of by getting a lot of value without paying much. Now, you are demanding advance “payment” in exchange for your time and attention. She doesn’t like having to pay up front. Lol. Also, there’s a great script for “you only want one thing.” You say, with a smile, “that’s not true, I also want blow jobs, doggie sty…
/r/MarriedRedPill23/12/17 04:13 PM
1

I had an “Indian summer” like this. After a month or 6 weeks of MRP, for a short time (during ovulation) she got really sexually aggressive and I thought I had turned some kind of corner. It didn’t last though. I remember being tempted to take my foot off the gas. That’s the potential trap. Just enjoy the surge phase for what it was/is.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/12/17 02:52 PM
1

Its strange, but I have just not been in to my wife this week. Nothing she is doing, I'm just not interested in spending time with her. I flirt and grab her ass when she is near, but I would just rather be by myself or doing other things lately. No issue, or reason I can pinpoint, but I noticed it. She has asked me several times what is wrong. Nothing is wrong, I am just focused on other things. Its kinda a strange mental place to be. I'm not worried about it, its just different... This. So, as …
/r/MarriedRedPill21/12/17 01:53 PM
1

the results were discouraging for me. After about 3-4 days I became fixated on sex and wanting to fuck. I experienced this too. This passes and you can get on the other side of it. I agree with /u/FossilGuy16 that giving yourself permission to take some time off can help too. Rejections stung worse, OI started to break down etc. ... One thing that confuses me is the anxiety I feel when initiating. What you need to do is have a plan before you initiate of what you are going to do instead that wil…
/r/MarriedRedPill21/12/17 01:43 PM
1

OYS 8 weeks 5’9.5”, 170 lbs (-24), 23.7%bf (+0.2%), 50, SL 5x5 Summary: A good week. I am starting to feel real OI and a sense of the power that comes with it—tho not consistently, as discussed below. My mission is still undefined but I am getting closer to being able to enunciate it and am getting excited about the possibilities. I never thought about what I wanted to do for myself before and it is pretty interesting now that I really have that concept clear. Other Highlights: workout progress …
/r/MarriedRedPill19/12/17 08:30 PM
2

This is an extremely helpful analogy to hold in mind when the opportunity to argue comes up. /u/rian_stone makes good points about enforcement, but I understand OP to say he enforces a decision through force of frame and personality. Ultimately she has to decide to accept the decision or escalate.
/r/MarriedRedPill19/12/17 07:06 PM
4

You have to set a hard boundary at her losing weight, but it sounds like she’s going to need a lot of comfort at the same time. I might suggest that the party line is”I love you unconditionally but I’m not attracted to you while you are doing this to yourself. I’m your partner and you need to let me be your partner, both for accountability as well as to help you get there, since I’ve shown I know how to do it.” And, spin plates all you like but beware getting into a blackmail situation.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/12/17 04:14 PM
1

I was staying at a Hilton and didn’t think of squatting with the cable machine, dang it. Used the dumbbells with some frustration, as you suggest. Next time I’ll try the Precor, great idea, thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/12/17 04:08 PM
3

Here's an alternative possibility. Your wife is experiencing level 50 dread. That is why she is stressed all the time despite having every financial and physical need provided for. That is why she is stress eating herself to death. Her hamster is literally killing her. She knows that she is losing you and the work that would be required to catch up seems impossible to achieve. Somewhere in all the RP materials I read an article about how dread can backfire and the woman gives up. I tried to find…
/r/MarriedRedPill13/12/17 03:42 PM
1

Traveling OYS So I had an opportunity last week to travel for a hard-to-get intense five-day professional certification and since I’m finishing up my thirty day self improvement sprint, I took it. I’ve gotten up early and worked out hard every single day in the Hotel gym and felt it. Not my normal routine but an acceptable substitute given what I have to work with. My reading is going well, especially thanks to Audible. Plenty of time to listen while traveling. I’m starting to get my head around…
/r/MarriedRedPill07/12/17 01:44 PM
1

Please add an article about frame. Thank you very much for your efforts. The sidebar has already been a great blessing to me.
/r/RPChristians05/12/17 03:41 AM
2

I have had great results from Keto + IF also. This week wife told me “I don’t like skinny boys.” I’m not changing anything.
/r/askMRP03/12/17 02:29 PM
8

I have an economics background so it helped me a lot when I learned that the basic transaction is that women provide sex and men provide attention. Women's smart economic move is to create artificial scarcity so that their product becomes incredibly valuable. Imagine what you would pay for a glass of water after three days without water. Think about if you couldn't get it anywhere but from your wife. The mistake we men make is that we cheapen our product (attention) by making it as available to …
/r/askMRP02/12/17 09:43 PM
2

If it makes you feel better, almost all of us beginners are getting the same responses from our wives -- even without the perceived imbalance in the relationship that you have. I even remember a series of posts from a guy who said he was a fitness model whose wife was giving him the same treatment. To become the prize you need to see start believing that you are the prize.
/r/askMRP02/12/17 09:07 PM
1

Dude that is awesome. Keep reports coming.
/r/askMRP02/12/17 08:45 PM
1

It would be such a relief to be that direct and overt. Now, having given it some more thought, I think what I am going to need to prepare for is handling the inevitable gaslighting that will ensue once I call her out on anything.
/r/askMRP01/12/17 06:32 PM
1

It has been a little challenging to plan it this week with holiday commitments and things. But I'm really looking forward to it. Fortunately my gym is 24/7 and has showers, hot tub, plunge pools, etc. I could easily spend a couple hours there and arrive home ready to get right into bed. Writing is a good idea too. I could go to starbucks with my laptop or something.
/r/askMRP01/12/17 06:25 PM
1

Got it. Calling some things out is what I would call a "target rich environment." But I need to start somewhere.
/r/askMRP01/12/17 06:10 PM
1

Since we are venting... :) So a couple days ago I tell her about a new menu plan I'm going to be starting (I want to stop losing absolute weight and start gaining muscle). I didn't explain it, just told her since she makes dinner most nights. She says, pretty emphatically, "well don't lose too much weight. You know I don't like skinny boys!" So this is a woman that has had sex with me fewer than ten times this year, the majority of which were ugly-pajama-starfish-iPhone-before-and-after encounte…
/r/askMRP01/12/17 06:07 PM
1

Please expand on calling her out. I️ have the idea that I’m not ready to start setting boundaries till I️ get the DLs higher...
/r/askMRP01/12/17 05:48 PM
1

Mine perfected the art of extending her bedtime chores till after I️ am long asleep. Our youngest are 7 and 9 and she still sits with them for an hour till they get to sleep. It is pretty impressive how she can take three hours to come to bed, in a twisted sort of way.
/r/askMRP01/12/17 04:38 PM
1

I'm currently in a cold dead bedroom environment because I am refusing to apologize for something dumb and she has explicitly told me there's no action till I apologize. But your comment made me recall the last sex before the current transactional offer; halfway through during foreplay she said "you might want to hurry up, I'm falling asleep." I got on and finished in about 40 seconds, then immediately jumped up and headed for the shower. But maybe I should have abandoned like you did. Anyway I …
/r/askMRP01/12/17 03:47 PM
1

I️ like the idea of pre-planning the Plan B alternative. I’ll try that next. Thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill29/11/17 01:20 AM
2

You don't deserve anything, and you can get value from many places. So if she's not willing to provide it you can find it elsewhere. I get value from rock climbing, I get value from lifting. I get value from meeting new people, I get value from exporing new places. So feel free to replace her denied value with those. That is fantastically helpful. Would you say this defines frame, at least in part? -- I.e. "where my value comes from." Thanks.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/11/17 03:28 PM
1

Thanks. I admit that I'm a little confused (in general, not by your post) about withdrawing time/attention as a consequence of denials but not also seeming butthurt.
/r/MarriedRedPill28/11/17 02:05 PM
1

OYS #4. “We have to talk about a few things” Overview: 7 weeks RP, lifting, 174 (-19), 23%bf, me 50 her 43, captaining well, her floating off in tethered life boat, frame pretty good, sidebar, NMMNG, WISNIFG, MMSLP, Gorilla Mindset, TRM, Conversation Casanova, reading Mystery Method. Self-Improvement: I’m still doing my 30 days of self-improvement. Today I called bodybuilding trainers, interviewed three, have appointment to engage one on Wednesday. I am at the point where I don’t want to lose mo…
/r/MarriedRedPill28/11/17 12:38 PM
4

we need to hold off on sex because she can't do it, when she doesn't feel "emotionally connected". Ugh. This is depressing. I've been hearing the same dumb excuse for the last few years while I've been white-knighting it like crazy (pre-RP). Plus mine's a women's studies major from college... (rookie mistake) What drives me crazy about the "emotionally connected" excuse is its failure to explain one-night stands, impulsive bar liaisons and spring break f!cks that the hamster can rationalize away…
/r/askMRP27/11/17 07:12 PM
2

This was really helpful, thank you. I️ think I️ have got my head right for this next round.
/r/askMRP26/11/17 01:05 PM
1

More like a baby stepper. I️ get the concepts but putting them reliably into practice is going to take time.
/r/askMRP25/11/17 11:26 PM
3

Pavlov is a good analogy for my situation. I️ need to break operant conditioning.
/r/askMRP25/11/17 08:32 PM
1

Yeah, OI. It’s like I️ missed it completely.
/r/askMRP25/11/17 08:31 PM
1

Yep. Thanks.
/r/askMRP25/11/17 08:29 PM
2

All my problems started when my wife augmented from an A to a big-C small D. Totally upset the SMV apple cart. She constantly gets attention and approval from other guys. Orbiters. How is she going to handle all the additional attention? Not well for you. My suggestion would be that if you want to support this go on the smaller side not bigger. One cup size max. That will give her a little cleavage to play with, but without getting every guy in the gym ogling her during her workout.
/r/MarriedRedPill25/11/17 04:19 PM
3

Instead of seeing that as proof that she's overpowering you and you're helpless, see it as a demonstration that holding frame and sticking to you guns a la WISNIFG actually works, and can work for you too. Hells yes. Of course.
/r/askMRP25/11/17 04:02 PM
2

Stop thinking of the tools in WISNIFG as a means to get other people to do things. That's a good point, I'm going to think about that carefully. Here though, I guess I don't want her to do something so much as I want to flip this on her and tell her that 8 days of passive aggressive b.s. it what is really disrespectful. But in a way that demonstrates NGAF.
/r/askMRP25/11/17 03:49 PM
1

Baby steps for me. My starting out strategy has been to become the kind of man who has that mission. So far, six weeks in, the results are literally unbelievable. Progress is both painfully slow and incredibly fast at the same time. Slow in the things that I started off literally focusing on (my marriage, sex life, fitness, etc) and fast in things that I never saw coming in a million years until they actually happened (new relationships, business opportunities, kids responding and flourishing, s…
/r/askMRP25/11/17 03:34 PM
3

She is in her peak SMV so she is trying to leverage that against you. You're better off waiting until she's over 25 and out of peak SMV to negotiate marriage. In the meantime there's a lot of stuff you could--and should--be doing even though you are saving "the act" for marriage. Make sure to do them--a lot--so there's no conceivable way she'd be doing any of those things with anyone else. If I were you at your age knowing what I know now I'd be doing them all the time. Flip this situation on he…
/r/askMRP25/11/17 03:06 PM
1

OYS 3. RP 6 weeks Physical: 50 / 5'9.5" / 175 (-18) / 23.5% (--). Clothes fitting great. I am within 5 lbs of my lowest adult weight. Had some nice (baby steps) IOI's this week. Stopped to get some food over the weekend and the girl behind the counter told my W "your husband looks really smart." I could tell W was shocked. Workouts going great, getting lots of exercise. Social: Picking up. Playing more tennis. Looking forward to next men's meetup at my place (2 weeks). Need to keep working on th…
/r/MarriedRedPill22/11/17 03:15 AM
2

Or read up on covert contracts in NMMNG. :)
/r/askMRP20/11/17 07:43 PM
2

Find a look / style. How do the fuck do I do that. Here you go. Developing Personal Style 2.0. Actually the whole Male Fashion Advice subreddit is great.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/11/17 01:20 PM
1

OYS Week #2 Me: 50 5'9.5, 177.5 lbs (-2.5), 23% BF (-) $325K Her: 43: 5'2 123 lbs, 22% BF $120K 14 (+8) years. Three boys, two in elementary. Very alpha in job. Drunk Captain, beta orbiting her, etc (see OYS #1). RP: About a month since taking the red pill. Updates/Field Reports: * It has been cold, dead bedroom this week. A couple hard no's and plenty of soft no's. I realize that the action from the previous post must have been ovulation week. I was off by one week (first month tracking). * Her…
/r/MarriedRedPill14/11/17 12:12 PM
2

I feel guilty taking that time for myself, which requires I either take a day away from the company I used to feel this way too. Got some advice and started telling my folks that if things are running perfectly then I don't need to be there. The measure of how well things are running is how much I'm not around. After a while I internalized that myself.
/r/MarriedRedPill14/11/17 11:50 AM
1

More...note the following on Dread Level 1 from 12 Levels of Dread: Dread Level 1: Learn to recognize and start passing Shit Tests. Begin building a strong, indefatigable frame where you are not affected by her sexual denials. Your readings will inform you about the basics of Pickup Artistry and seduction. Begin leading your wife more and begin seducing her. . Read the sidebar on The Red Pill, Married Man's Sex Life by Athol Kay, No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert Glover, and the Book of Pook by the…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/11/17 08:17 PM
1

Hmm. I wonder if there's a foundational block that is jamming you up like trigonometry or something.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/11/17 07:18 PM
2

OI is still the single hardest area for me. I know it works when I have OI, I know the end result is that if I don't get butthurt about sex not happening right now there will be more sex later, but in the moment it's just tough for me to get there. I struggle with OI too. When you described the above, it sounds like you are trying to get to OI so you can get laid, which of course is the opposite of true OI. I think you want to try to get to where you don't really GAF whether it happens or not ou…
/r/MarriedRedPill08/11/17 03:02 PM
1

I love engineering concepts and machining but I am bad at math. You know what? Math isn't an attribute, it's a learned skill. You can learn math. You don't like it because you are bad at it. You can take fantastic math classes for free on Khan Academy. Why don't you fix your math problem and then you can pursue your engineering dreams.
/r/MarriedRedPill08/11/17 01:02 PM
1

OYS No. 1 Stats: 50 yo; 5'9.5"; 180 lb; bf 23.2%; Me: $325K Her: $120K; 3 kids at home; married 15 years (dated 8 yrs b4 that); MRP about 3 weeks Self-Diag b4 MRP Afraid of W Drunk Captain Out of Shape Covert Contractor (terrible seduction technique) Sex Beggar Let my formerly impeccable wardrobe habits slip to just above sweat pants Totally in W's frame W SMV > Me No mission Reading: MRP sidebar and RP sidebar; NMMNG; MMSLP. Next WISNIFG Wins: Stayed in frame generally last 14 days and about 8 …
/r/MarriedRedPill07/11/17 11:57 PM
2

You don't need to worry too much about their expertise. As speaker you will control the presentation. If someone asks you a question you aren't prepared for, either (1) divert to pre-planned material ("that's a good question but let me give you guys this foundation first...", or (2) say "that's a big question--let me defer that to the end to see if I still have time and I'll take a crack at it then"--and then you let it go. All good speakers use these techniques and you come out looking like a s…
/r/askMRP07/11/17 01:01 PM
2

First of all, your use of the word "deserve" ("I deserve for my wife to be...") suggests that you have some kind of giant covert contract going on here. Think about that carefully--the contract only messes you up and makes you do stupid stuff. Second, don't you think you also betrayed the marriage with your own behavior? Finally, Christian, God has given you a second chance and it sounds like your flesh doesn't want to give your wife a second chance. Review Mark 11:26 and let me know if you thin…
/r/askMRP07/11/17 12:53 PM
1

I've been thinking about your short reply a lot. MRP is for teaching men sexual strategy, not advocating marriage, but specifically--and in this way distinct from RP--strategy for men who must or want to stay in LTRs. Agree?
/r/askMRP07/11/17 12:40 PM
1

Look up further from the last sentence about two paragraphs, there's a paren with "(current one or the next)" in the same context. It seemed redundant to keep repeating that. Looks like I should have. Anyway, all that said your sentiment is spot on. I find keeping frame and OI to be real work. There are about a million ways I notice myself slipping back toward oneitis and beta orbiting. I also have a religious issue that I am wrestling with. Thanks for the reminders.
/r/askMRP07/11/17 12:37 PM
2

Challenge accepted!
/r/askMRP07/11/17 12:33 PM
1

You have a long, hard path in front of you, and a humiliating past behind. Don't forget that. Zealousness of the converted is a bullet train to Rambo town, friend. So the thing I'm most grateful for about finding this place is a new exciting sense of purpose. It doesn't seem like a long hard road to me at all--which is not to say that I don't forecast an enormous effort. But the way I see it I could have been wasting all that energy on useless beta wheel spinning. Now I am most excited about goa…
/r/askMRP06/11/17 12:41 PM
1

This is the MRP sub, right? The “M” is for married?
/r/askMRP06/11/17 12:33 AM
1

“current one or the next”
/r/askMRP06/11/17 12:31 AM
1

Thanks for the feedback. The accountability on this forum is awesome. The critical responses are often the most truly helpful ones. My BF% turns out to be 23.2% +/- 0.5 according to the trainers at the gym and their gear. I’ll be using them to measure going forward. | But you have it all figured out now, do you? Shit no. | Along that line, what was the point of posting this anyway? So, I’ve been reading the OYS thread. There are a bunch of guys in there in real pain. They are getting the Tough L…
/r/askMRP06/11/17 12:29 AM
1

You just described my schedule exactly. I am getting up at 5am three days a week for hard workouts. I'm back at home by 6:30 to get the boys ready for school. Then I am fitting two workouts in at lunchtimes at work. I have five sets of workout clothes and towels there and arranged a laundry service to wash and fold weekly. It was just a scheduling thing which I am terrible at so I got somebody else to do it. Now both workouts are always on my calendar every week. Get creative.
/r/askMRP05/11/17 01:26 PM
1

Search YouTube for Robert Glover. He gives some interviews and people ask him for practical suggestions which he provides. You can get more context and "tips" out of these interviews. I found them to be helpful. I think the answer to your question is that you need to be working on awareness first. Become aware of when you're doing it. Label your covert contracts when you find them and pull them out of the shadows of your mind into the light of pitiless self-examination. It helped me to start bec…
/r/askMRP05/11/17 01:13 PM
1

Would you suggest that I read MMSLP next instead of WISNIFG?
/r/askMRP26/10/17 12:05 PM
1

Oh yeah, I'm definitely faking frame right now. I'll fake it till I make it. It's ironic that I came here in desperation because of the dead bedroom, only to find out that I need to become totally OI about it. It's pretty zen if you think about it.
/r/askMRP26/10/17 12:05 PM
1

I'm pretty good at fasting, I'm blessed with really stable blood sugar. So that's good. Does keto=ketosis ie. low carb?
/r/askMRP23/10/17 06:27 PM
1

Yeah I think I estimated that wrong. I was remembering something the scale said (it shows an estimated body fat) but that number can't be right, as GargantuaBlarg29 pointed out.
/r/askMRP23/10/17 04:51 PM
1

Thanks, I'll review dread level 1 again and tweak the frame part of the plan.
/r/askMRP23/10/17 03:15 PM
1

Ok. Is there something in the sidebar explaining the mission a little more or do you mean like a theme for my life kind of thing?
/r/askMRP23/10/17 03:15 PM
1

I'm starting to think that that the augmentation shifted the power balance in the relationship and I started acting completely beta. To this day access to the boobs is one of her best weapons.
/r/askMRP23/10/17 03:13 PM
1

One of the most difficult/embarrassing parts of this whole deal is that I have no problem being super-alpha at work and in the courtroom. My reputation is very tough and I get referrals of cases from attorneys who don't want to handle challenging opponents all the time. I am just fine with conflict and it doesn't trouble me a bit, I don't back down, and my favorite goal is to win cases by writing a few strongly-worded letters. But at home--disaster.
/r/askMRP23/10/17 01:47 PM
1

In this particular case, she didn't have a better reason for not doing it. It was more a "sharing the load" demand. I think she sat in the massage chair while I was getting them through the shower, ready for school tomorrow, etc. That sounds bad I guess. I often do get the kids ready for bed, no problem, was just busy that particular night.
/r/askMRP22/10/17 07:49 PM
1

Age 50 (look 40), 5'10". 188lbs, estimate 35% bodyfat, squat? Dunno, probably 135 would be where I would start.
/r/askMRP22/10/17 07:05 PM
1

It’s hard to imagine a change like that in my situation. I’m 50 (look 40), 5’10”, 188, bf, guessing, 35%? I have started the diet and workout planning.
/r/MarriedRedPill22/10/17 12:00 PM
1

Yeah. I can totally see how easy it would be to walk into Rambo. Interestingly, I have to say, I was pretty turned on by how these examples played out today. Which is not helpful given the status of the bedroom.
/r/askMRP21/10/17 07:36 PM
1

Thanks to everyone who chimed in. The advice about the sidebar was especially helpful since I was reading the forum on my iPad and the sidebar is not there. I logged in from the desktop and found everything. I bought No More Mister Nice Guy and read the first six chapters in a single gulp. It's a lot to take in. Thanks again.
/r/MarriedRedPill21/10/17 03:33 PM
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