Noob Compliance Test question

johneyapocalypse · 2018-02-17T17:08:44+00:00

A simple "no" is much, much easier than you apparently believe. Try it.

The first time I said "no" to my wife she grabbed our gun and shot our cat dead.
The second time I said "no" to my wife she poured arsenic in my coffee and sent me to the emergency room.
The third time I said "no" to my wife she fucked three men, videoed it, and sent it to my parents.
The fourth time I said "no" to my wife was just yesterday. I had a heart attack and I'm writing this from the ER.

Wait, none of that actually happened. I simply said "no" and life went on.

Funny thing: each new "no" gets easier and easier and becomes more empowering with each mention, with your wife, your associates, your friends, and the whole damn world.

Pull your testicles out of her vagina - you may need a gynecologist to help - and simply say "no."

Panzy.

Alpha_Engineer99 · 2018-02-17T17:19:54+00:00

Start with a simple “no”. Don’t go full Rambo just yet. 47 years old? Probably long history of being a pussy, right? If she gets pissy, don’t DEER and get butt hurt, just make fun of her , AA that shit out the ball park.

This was my hang up too when I first get started, I was always a nice guy, catered to her every need, and never goofed around or was fun to be around. Start teasing her more often, show her that her mood doesn’t affect you. Ramp up the kino. It’s for you, not her.

Once she starts feeling the dynamic changing, she will not like it and will turn up the bitch factor - it will get hard before it gets better- just get through it. Hopefully you are upping your SMV at the same time and lifting. Remember, sex comes last. You need to unfuck yourself first and start passing these shit tests. She wants you to pass.

You should also start -slowly- telling her to do things for YOU. Make commands: Start asking her to get you a glass of water, iron your clothes, make the chicken tonight, etc..

Fritz_Frauenraub · 2018-02-17T16:09:34+00:00

Butthurt is unfortunately a major part of this process. There's no way to avoid it: the only way out is through.

I like to think that the butthurt (of a lifting reading stfuing man) is the growing pains of frame.

Also, our wives know when we're butthurt. That kind of mind reading is child's play to them.

That said, I went through the same phase of kicking against the "compliance tests" and became a colossal prick for months. I eventually realized that it was better to just go along and not act out the anger...all while working hard to build strong frame in other areas.

The same applied to my wife's "shit tests" which for the most part were actually legit complaints about me being a slacker who expected oral compliance just for bringing home a paycheck. So I just started to "nod & smile". And strangely enough things got a lot better...and butthurt diminished; in inverse proportion to growing frame.

So yeah. Work a strong program and don't get twisted over the "compliance tests".Guaranteed before long you'll be into some brutal frame battles for real. Save your strength and will-to-win for those.

markpf73 · 2018-02-17T18:15:54+00:00

Ah yes - I still remember my first "no"

It was when she asked me to rebuild the fireplace mantle with built ins on each side and to rewire the TV to mount it over the fireplace. She lost her mind and sure I DEERed a little.

EDIT - I deered a lot - told her "she took all joy out of projects like this by constantly wanting to know when it would be done and being a harpy bitch". As you can imagine this didn't give her the tingles.

The next one was she asked me to remodel the kitchen - AA ("sure I was just thinking about adding on a north wing to the house and making it all kitchen with an open floor plan and a butlers walk in pantry" - her "really". Me "fuck no and laughed"). Quick laugh smack on the ass and back to my MAP.

Last night - kids were in bed, dogs on her lap on the couch - and she gave me the old "can you get me a glass of water with ice in it". Instead of the "no" - I walked one over to her and just out of her reach stirred it with my dick. She called me an ass and then happily drank it.

This morning in bed she asked me to stir her drink - so I screamed at her "I know this is a compliance test so no I will not"... not really, I fucked her good for a few minutes and when the kids started to stir we wrapped up.

On the way out to soccer the old dick stirring her water is now a joke and she asked me to treat her like a martini tonight.

Harpy bitch reaction to my first "no". Now "no" or my "not no" is just fun. Improving.

SiegreicherMarsch · 2018-02-17T19:08:35+00:00

Two weeks in, your wife is still the Captain. And captains must give orders to the crew so things get done on the ship according to the captain's vision. So if she's asking you to do chores like "take the trash out to the curb because tomorrow is trash day", to clip the dog's nails because they're getting long, or to take the Christmas lights down because it's February...those are not compliance tests. You should not be angry at her for asking you to do these kinds of things, you should be angry at yourself for not doing them in the first place. Always keep this in mind and don't take take it out on her.

Now actual compliance tests are often objectively UNreasonable (because that's the point...to see if you're the kind of beta dude willing to put up with unreasonable requests). If you're still working up to a straight "no", another way to pass a compliance test is to have fun with it. Hold the item you fetched just out of reach, drop it down her shirt, drop it in your pants, bring the wrong item the first several times. Stuff a pillow in the back of your shirt and walk around saying "Yeeesss master" like fucking Igor. You're not butthurt because you're having a good time. They can be an easy opportunity to game your wife. Do you remember how to do that?

mrpthrowa · 2018-02-17T15:44:59+00:00

Just read NMMNG and WISNIFG.

cholomite · 2018-02-17T16:50:45+00:00

My gf loved compliance tests until I got really good at them, she still tries but I think it's just because she enjoys getting teased by me.

I don't like your mindset and I feel like you're over thinking it. This shit is supposed to be fun, especially low key compliance tests because it's usually over stupid shit. Be goofy, have fun with it and don't worry if you fuck up, it's not the end of the world. She might act like it is, but trust me when I say that women prefer a man who says "No" to a genuine request over a man who says "yes" to every request.

Also don't let her attitude and bitchy responses mess with your head. The first times I started passing compliance tests my girl would immediately go off on some fast talking tirade about how I never do this or never do that...etc and it would be hard not to DEER, but then I just stopped giving a fuck about what she says or thinks.

I also took my time at first with compliance tests. She would ask me to get her a glass of water, and I would sit there in silence for a couple seconds while I calculated the distance between both of us and the fridge, decide if it was something I wanted to do, and if not, just say "no". Pauses are good because it brings the girl into your frame. She has asked you something and is waiting for your response, a result of her waiting on you means that she is in your frame. It's just up to you whether you keep her there or jump back into hers.

wildnight98 · 2018-02-18T02:24:45+00:00

Having been through your initial phase relatively recently, let me offer a more granular perspective. At this point if you start changing and saying “no” and junk like that, you are going to provoke angry responses from her that you don’t have tools to deal with yet.

My suggestion would be to keep the status quo and work on two things above all for now: OI and DGAF, in that order. First you need to get over the fear of not getting laid because she is upset. The next “level” of OI is as to the survival of the marriage. You learn to be OK with either option.

Once you have that down, you need to develop your DGAF. This lets you weather her angry tantrums without becoming unhappy yourself. This is where stoicism and the development of your frame come into play. Eg, mine tried to pull me into an argument last night. She said, “you need to take responsibility for the fact that your wife is hurting, even if that hurt comes across as anger.” I said-using a technique called pressure flip-“why?” She was flummoxed. She couldn’t come up with any better answer than to say “well, you’re not getting as much sex as you want.” I said “that’s a short-term problem.” Hamster still spinning.

After you are OI and can DGAF reliably, then you can easily start saying no to her chore list. Of course, by this point you should also be OYS, so you may be doing some of these chores yourself without her asking as others have suggested.

It took me about three months of all out effort to get my arms around enough OI, DGAF, and OYS to start to tackle big relational problems like your compliance pattern. No idea if the timeframe carries, I suspect it’s pretty situationally determined. Just FYI.

screechhater · 2018-02-17T18:24:41+00:00

Noobs ask this shit all the time.

Lift, yes- lift weights, STFU, read, remain calm cool and collective. Do not allow her to control you or your emotions remain pleasant and unaffected daily

However, I will state that yes small requests are common and healthy, but the bigger - elephant in the room question is, are the requests for to you not being the leader ?

Is she raising 2 kids ?

drty_pr · 2018-02-17T18:52:40+00:00

Her: "honey would you go into the kitchen and grab me some scissors?"
You: "no"

What's the absolute worst case scenario in this event?

BobbyPeru · 2018-02-17T22:59:10+00:00

Before I found MRP, I was the compliance ~~king~~. Queen.

I say no to anything she can do herself just as easily. Strangely, my sex life is now at a point that I get zero hard no’s.

Some family members still remember the old BP me. On Valentine’s Day, my wife was telling her dad what I got for her on the phone. He made a weird comment asking if I dressed up as a French maid and cleaned the house. She said, “ no dad, but I might actually dress as a French maid for him later if he wants me to.

Shut him up pretty quick, and got the point across.

So, that is where passing compliance tests will eventually take you.

SteelSharpensSteel · 2018-02-17T23:03:29+00:00

Say no, then smirk at her.

Pro tip. Even though I have been doing this for while, there are rare times that I will fail a shit test or compliance test, and realize it afterward. I don’t let it get to me, I say oh well, and move on. Can’t bat 1.000.

FormulaFriday · 2018-02-18T03:51:01+00:00

Thank for all the great replies. I may be over thinking this, but this is life or death. I am not afraid of her denying sex, she already has. Yes, I spent way too much of my life being a pussy, thinking that being a "nice guy" would get me what I want. I had actively worked to suppress the alpha in me. During the drive home from work three days in to MRP, I screamed at the top of my lungs in anger at God for allowing me to live a lie for so much of my life and only now finding the truth. I actively and unwittingly forfeited a fulfilling life for one of weakness, fear and frustration. That whole weekend after the shock epiphany I just felt raw to the core of my being. I am not going to fuck up this chance to turn my life around. I may be 47, but my dick still works and I'm not dead yet. Thank you all for the no bullsit replys.

RedPillCoach · 2018-02-19T18:57:42+00:00

Is it better to STFU and comply with a compliance test if, at that moment, you are pissed off and any other response will have detectable butthurt in it?

It is better to pass the Shit Test without the butthurt.

"No."

"Not right now."

"No, you get it."

"No, you get it and while your in the kitchen grab me a water."

If only there were a book on the sidebar that teaches how to say "no" without feeling guilty.

Now for the other side of that coin. My wife just called me to direct me to take out the trash because even though today is President's Day it is still pickup day. My answer: Good job checking on that! I am on it right now dear."

If a compliance test is reasonable or if it is something that needs to be done then the problem is lack of leadership and ceding it to your wife, not failing compliance tests.

Title	Noob Compliance Test question
Author	FormulaFriday
Upvotes	2
Comments	23
Date	February 17, 2018 3:40 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/7y7azy/noob_compliance_test_question/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/noob-compliance-test-question.204803 https://theredarchive.com/post/204803

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