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just_takin_the_d Archive

View 8 posts and 459 comments by just_takin_the_d on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

Imagine being so mad about having hurt feelings, rather than mad at the problem that women feel unsafe walking their neighbourhoods with men around.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/09/21 09:42 PM
5

Great post, thanks for taking the time to find it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/09/21 05:13 AM
105

I often try to live life with the confidence of a mediocre man named Tony, but you're making me consider upgrading to Sean level.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/21 08:11 AM
14

Men who shame women for having periods should not be allowed to have sex with us. We're human beings you wankers, not objects here for your amusement.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/21 09:55 AM
29

I'm tired of men thinking taking birth control is like eating a skittle. BC has major impacts on the body. Like fuck I'm just taking bc so I don't have a period for some man's comfort....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/21 09:53 AM
24

Gosh yes, these high school guys. That smirk like "I'm right, you're wrong" when they're usually the biggest, dumbass idiot that is overconfident due to their lack of self-awareness...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/21 08:07 AM
1

Yay! I'm on a break too - don't know when it will stop, it's so enjoyable not dealing with bullshit like in your story!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 11:34 AM
31

Ergh, what a horrible person. Make sure you get up and leave the next time this happens to you! Nobody is allowed to treat you like this - it's not rude to get up and leave if they're negging you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 11:02 PM
2

You're assuming they think ahead. They've also never been taught their actions have consequences, so when one finally does, it must be unfair and ridiculous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/06/21 10:22 AM
24

Thanks! Tbh it didn't really affect me aside from the absolute shock and anger at the time that this guy had the AUDACITY to grab me inappropriately in a very public place. I was more saddened by (a) how my friend acted afterwards (b) how that sub's pickmes thought it was ok to leave someone alone 15 minutes after an assault (because I was just "jealous" my friend landed a guy and that's the whole point of clubbing) and (c) in a club full of people, only a woman came over (with bf in tow) to see…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 06:07 AM
18

one VERY MATURE guy commented "OOOO TRIGGERED F*MC*L WE GOT EM BOIS REEEEE" and someone else told me "fix my attitude". They're not even worth our time talking to - sounds like someone who hasn't developed empathy yet (or won't ever develop) and can't have a conversation. Funny how these type of men argue they're more logical, then turn into this when you try to explain why you find FDS helpful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 01:15 AM
103

Thank you! I didn't end up talking to that friend for a year - we reconciled now that she's calmed down in the pickme behaviour (she was acting up because she had just been cheated on). I'm lucky I had discovered this sub before the incident. I had the strength of all the FDS women behind me yelling in my ear. I had to remove that man's hand from me, crushed it in mine, whilst yelling at him with full power that "you do not do that to women", and slowly dragging him out to the bouncers before ot…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 12:16 AM
82

Here's the thing. Men need to paint us as an inferior version of themselves. They need to put us in the same bucket as other men to "categorise" us. Thing is - I've never seen another group of men that act similar to FDS. Incels don't actively work to protect themselves and others from being abused or taken advantage of, work on improving themselves, and being independent until the right person comes along. Women are not other "versions" of men. We exist in our own right. FDS does not need a mal…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/21 12:00 AM
152

Is this the sub where they said I was crazy for being mad at my pickme friend leaving me alone in a club to hook up with a guy, literally 15 minutes after I was sexually assaulted?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 11:51 PM
209

"It's just a joke gosh, you feminists have no sense of humour"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/21 07:27 AM
4

I'm building a 3 bedroom house + media room. Room breakdown as follows: 1. Master bedroom - obviously mime 2. Bedroom 2 - guest bedroom 3. Bedroom 3 - WFH office and piano room 4. Media room -- gym and whatever else I want A 4 bedroom house is still easy to fill when you're single. The cost of this house versus an apartment was minimal, and now I can have a dog that has his own yard!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/21 01:29 AM
12

I'm aiming to be the cool childless aunt with my niece and nephew! I wish I had a childless aunt on which I could model myself off - instead I'm really breaking tradition in my family by not having kids
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/21 09:43 AM
48

Tell me again, how "being a girl" is being overdramatic and lacking courage.... girls have to show maturity and strength of character at a young age thanks to periods
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 04:42 AM
35

Meanwhile, these guys probably evacuate the building when they go to the toilet. Side note: I've been using menstrual cups for about 6 years now, and I've just realised how nice it is not to worry about the trash. Empty toilet rolls only now!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 04:37 AM
14

Strikes happened in Australia recently around men's violence towards women - especially at work
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 09:26 AM
23

100% agree. Ladies - If a man makes you feel insecure in the relationship like this, just leave. The man made his choice to follow IG models, watch porn etc. If he wanted to make you feel secure in a relationship, make you feel loved and wanted, he would not do this. HVM love you, not some imaginary woman on the internet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 01:28 AM
143

So she naturally thinks "screw women who have their shit together and expect their partner to be similar"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 12:33 PM
60

It just goes to show their lack of empathy. In the same lines of "period pain doesn't exist" - if they don't experience it, it's clearly being made up for attention (because us women are hysterical and drama queens)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 04:01 AM
14

I had a coworker say "I had a baby because I thought it would be all about dressing her up in cute clothes. It's a lot harder than I thought it would be!". I just looked at her like oh my sweet summer child....no..... I think some people really need a "reality check" parenting class....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 12:12 AM
20

I've heard a lot of people praise getting a Doula? Unfortunately, some risks you can't mitigate, and you just need to weigh up the pros and cons. I personally don't want to risk all of the above for a child, when I have an amazing niece and nephew.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 12:07 AM
22

I'm looking at getting so elective surgery to better my health. My sister went nuts over it "but what about complications?!?!" (Has very low complication rate, and I also have higher risks continuing with the surgery) When my sister gets pregnant though, obviously there's no concern about complications. It just seems like every other major health decision we weigh up the pros and cons by being informed, but most people go into pregnancy blind on the actual risks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 12:05 AM
160

And as you pointed out, you could think they're HVM until you're actually pregnant (1 in 6 women probably thought they were HVM). Risking my life from an abusive partner, a complicated pregnancy, or never having the same life again due to a lazy partner is not a risk I'm willing to take. Men's biggest risk is they may need to pay child support, and oh boy, do we endlessly hear about that... Thanks for posting the REAL issues and risks with pregnancy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/21 11:27 PM
3

I believe someone who follows FDS is more likely to raise a HVM. I get what you're saying, culture obviously has a big impact on anyone's upbringing. But some women want a child. Should we be stopping all procreating? Yes, there is a lot of bad in the world. But also try to remember the good, and the HVM out there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 11:46 AM
2

Agreed. But as a single mum, you get to choose the men that have impact on your from a young age. As opposed to having a child with a LVM because you take any man due to the ticking clock. This is why I'm childfree - I don't want to raise a child by myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 11:27 AM
6

I think they mean they would find a sperm donor, so no men involved in raising the child Edit: Also, having children is not anti-feminist. Trying to control women's choices is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 10:51 AM
7

I'm usually against word art on walls, but I think this would be great as a neon sign 😄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 10:43 AM
7

Because you were, what I like to term, the "confidence girlfriend". I know in my pickme days, I put up with a lot of gross stuff because he seemed "safe". I also built up his confidence, by pretending shit sex was great. Basically accepted the lowest standards, sold them to the guy as "great, fantastic!", and he really bought the salespitch so much that clearly, a hotter girl would like him too. Honestly, these guys are absolutely trash with strong entitlement issues. Grass is greener types, wit…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 12:44 AM
138

I would much rather be an evil hag with a cat, than a woman trapped in a shitty, abusive relationship! #haglife
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 12:38 AM
66

I'm not having children because of the quality of men. Half of the women in my sister's mums group were having marital issues in their last trimester because their husbands were "no longer attracted" to their wives. How is it women's fault LVM can't stop thinking with their dicks for 2 seconds? Having a child is a massive risk to not only women's physical wellbeing, but all aspects of their lives (emotional, career, financial). The amount of women who are abused postpartum is also too high. You …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 12:37 AM
86

Yesssss...and these are the same guys that won't have a girlfriend for years before meeting you, but still think this way. You just KNOW they thought they could pull "something better" after you being the confidence gf, but in reality they're gonna be single for years again
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/21 09:26 PM
17

She's also implying the kid's nanny is unkind for not taking care of him
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/21 05:32 AM
52

Me too. Men seem to forget that the pill is a cocktail of hormones, it's not like taking nurofen. When I take hormone pills, I become very anxious, depressed and suicidal. That clearly is a good reason to not take hormonal pills, and I am never putting my life at risk so that a man can go bare in me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 08:28 AM
2

We can ignore all problems in life then by saying "not all ....". Not all people will steal my car, so I'll leave it unlocked with the keys in th e ignition. Not all strange dogs bite, so we'll just let our children run up and hug them. Not all cars crash, so therefore why have airbags and seatbelts. Not all men with harm others, so we'll just get rid of any laws or repercussions in regards to rape, murder etc. or safety controls to prevent harm to others.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 01:20 PM
9

Agreed. Half the time they bank on us being afraid. I had a man grab my by the crotch as I walked into a club. I had to remove his hand....then I made sure I didn't let go whilst I yelled at him and got others attention. He started to look afraid after he realised I wasn't gonna back down. It's a power game half the time. Stand your ground within reason, but learn when to retreat as well.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 01:13 PM
8

This was exactly my thought - my skin reacts to cheap jewellery, and it's likely this would cause a reaction for me (and I think most people over decades of use). Aint no way in hell I'm wearing a ring for the rest of my life that gives me hives, skin peeling and swelling. How cheap and selfish can this man be?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 05:05 AM
71

Men: don't wash hands after using the bathroom or regularly throughout the day. Also men: "why do we have a higher chance of getting covid?!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/11/20 08:22 AM
16

It's like getting mad at people who lock their car doors when they leave their car. "Like, why can't they just make the assumption that I'm not a criminal? I'm clearly not a threat, it's super offensive they make these assumptions about my personality." LVM - It's better for us to be safe than sorry, and assume you're going to be a threat, than not assume it and be assaulted. Much like you make the assumption people are a threat if you leave your car unlocked.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/11/20 09:31 AM
13

The police would be involved as it would be classified as abuse
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 09:52 PM
11

Yes, how is this not abuse? How were the police not involved? These situations are all about pressuring a woman and wearing her down until she has no energy to say no. It was clearly against doctor's instructions which the man most likely knew about. I feel sick just thinking about this situation, how could a man do this when a woman has stitches and is still recovering down there...Jesus Christ some men deserve to be sent to a place without women or children...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/10/20 09:50 PM
4

I find this surprisingly wholesome? I guess it's after all the years of women being told they need to be competitive with one another, it's great to see more women going against this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/10/20 03:51 AM
7

Especially when what others value vs what you value are vastly different. A lot of men place a high importance on attractiveness to them. However, I personally don't care about whether they find me attractive, and care more about my values and achievements as a person to determinr how I value myself (living authentically with empathy, kindness, good relationships with family and friends, performing well at work).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 09:25 PM
4

We are the same person 😊. I've stopped thinking that there is a HVM for me that exists. It's a bit sad seeming I'm a romantic at heart, but freeing that I know not to waste my time on LVM as they only bring down the quality of my life and add drama.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 09:04 PM
16

Sounds like we have the same brother-in-law. It's great knowing there's HVM out there (but frustrating at the same time seeming I can't find one to be my partner)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/10/20 08:03 AM
23

Well, I'll be the woman that wants my man to be into skincare: specifically sunscreen. We are in the highest cancer rate by country in the world, yet all these guys do outdoor activities (which their ideal girl must do), and look like shrivelled thumbs with cancerous noses because they don't wear sunscreen. Wear sunscreen people! I don't want you dying from melanoma in your 20s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/20 10:16 PM
17

Yeah I don't know why this post is being upvoted so much. Isn't this a flag for lovebombing? You hope they're just a nice person, but it just sounds like lovebombing...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/10/20 08:51 AM
58

Ask these men to cuddle on the couch or give you a back massage and suddenly physical touch isn't their love language
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 01:15 AM
38

Please tell me somebody pointed out in that thread that she was most likely groomed.... Honestly, people on relationship subs conveniently forget that domestic abuse, grooming of young women, and sex trafficking occurs, and blatantly ignor the big red flags for when they are obviously occurring (or likely to) in posts. There are sooo many red flags in that story you spoke about just from the few sentences you said (you woman, going to another country and not really knowing the man, no support sy…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 01:14 AM
15

Queen move on blocking, and fantastic move (I'm currently getting the "oh isn't that girl sad eating breakfast alone at a cafe" look. Nah bitch, I slept in, I'm eating yummy food, and I'm about to go get a massage). I always wonder what these guys expect after they send this text message - sympathy? We'll "try harder" to make it work? Pretty sure his next move would've been "lets slow it down, be a bit casual for a bit" whilst he looked for something better (that would never show up)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/10/20 12:57 AM
3

Here's to hoping! Hopefully you guys will bring down the bogan ratio around here :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 11:27 AM
4

I grew up on the sunny coast and found the objectification of women the worst there. All about getting that hot, blonde, beach babe - they don't care about a woman's personality or life goals. Good to hear there are a few good ones - I think they get snapped up too fast so unless I work with them, it's not going to happen unfortunately!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 11:10 AM
20

The thing is - most men want more than the stereotypical stay at home woman. They want the woman who cooks, cleans, provides emotional labour, maintains their appearance and raises the kids - and in addition she can work a fulltime job. They expect women to literally work 2-3 jobs a week with all their work and family responsibilities, yet these men can't get off their asses to provide for themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 10:49 AM
18

These women are condescending to other women. They themselves portray sexism - women are silly, except her, she's enlightened and smarter than these other women (smirk). She says in the video she likes to be "factual" and these guys that women want are the 1%. Yeah well, why doesn't she also talk about facts around domestic violence, divorce, and spousal murder when women pick the wrong men? Plenty of statistics around how dangerous it is for a women to pick the wrong man as a husband (e.g. sett…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 10:38 AM
10

"Tall" (174cm or 5'8") successful woman here. I'm glad the pathetic men with fragile masculinity screen themselves out. I honestly have no time or energy to deal with fragile egos.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 10:30 AM
10

If annnnybody thinks this a joke, it's not. This is what I see all the time - beautiful women like the girls in the video who have high maintenance beauty standards, with trolls (unwashed hair and clothes, unmaintained body hair) like this thinking they deserve a hot chick. Onlime dating is one dirty fluoro shirt after another. I love it how women think Aussie men all look like the Hemsworth brothers....we wish ladies....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 10:25 AM
14

Qld girl here - yep, a whole bunch of misogynistic NVM. Generations of men who think they deserve a hot blonde gf who will go 4wd every weekend, but also maintain a house and perfect, high maintenance looks. All the while the NVM are tradies or work at a bar, earn under $70k a year and look like a thumb that has never heard of sunscreen. Oh, and they're also "looking for something casual" whilst also wanting to "pass on their legacy" (what fucking legacy? Achieving fuck all??). The "let's go get…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/10/20 09:11 AM
7

Why do you think voting is pointless? I'm honestly curious
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 12:04 PM
6

This is why https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/j0dcpq/high_value_women_exercise_their_right_to_vote/g6ts46g
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 12:02 PM
18

Hi OP - virtual hugs for going through this. I just wanted to say that a lot of people say that forgiveness is what is needed to heal and move on. I think that it's not - it's ok to never forgive people for what they've done. But who you need to forgive is yourself - you weren't "silly" or "naive", you just had a shit of a man take advantage of your kindness. Being kind is not your fault, or a bad thing. He unfortunately was the wrong man to be kind with, and he's taken advantage of you and a te…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/09/20 11:55 AM
23

Don't be too hard on yourself. I'm 33 and since joining this sub I realised I was conditioned by the media to be the "not-like-other-girls cool girl". It was such a big trope in movies for our generation. "You're not like other girls" was such a compliment. "You're so cool that you want to play video games" yet he never took me on a proper date in 3 years... It took our 20s to unlearn that social conditioning; I am glad the next generation of women don't need to make the same mistakes as us to l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/09/20 12:10 PM
85

But women are selfish assholes if they keep a secret gtfo bank account from their husband (literally an aita thread a month ago about men calling the wife an asshole for this).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 11:06 AM
4

I'm glad it made you laugh! Sadly these ladies are very bright, and it was really disappointing to hear that getting married (note the language - it wasn't "finding love") was their top priority. It was a little bit like Mona Lisa Smile!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/09/20 03:05 AM
48

Downhill from 30? 30 has been my best decade so far. I have a great career, I have money, I'm building a house, I've started taking better care of my health and I've learnt to not put up with shit from LVM. 30 is just the start!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 08:32 AM
103

I like that it's 25 - when I was 25 I finally got to start in my profession. A profession where you do a bachelor at uni, followed by a very tough grad dip whilst full time working (CPA). I remember the other girls in my graduate group at work were talking about how they "just can't wait to be married". I said that I don't mind about finding someone and getting married - getting married isn't reallt a goal for me. Boy did I get looked at like I was the biggest weirdo, that being a housewife with…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/09/20 08:18 AM
4

I got in the U.S "You're Australian. Why aren't you blonde?". Maybe it's because not an entire contintent is one hair colour, including the Indigenous Australians. Apparently I needed to be a blonde surfer to fit their "hot Australian girl" stereotype. Not too much to analyse with your post - LVM are too busy thinking with their dicks than to see women as people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 10:02 PM
7

Yep. I'm currently having arguments on a thread that women breastfeeding is not the equivalent of men dropping trou and pooping in public. I can't believe in 2020 women still need to have the argument that keeping a baby happy and healthy is more important than covering up due to fragile egos and sexual objectification of nursing mothers. Reddit seeks to be full of self-absorbed, immature LVM who seem to think every situation is about them! I've been on reddit since 2008, and I honestly can't re…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/09/20 09:46 PM
1

I'm here with you! Work on yourself during this pandemic :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/09/20 05:46 AM
31

That's why it's important to take a break and go on this sub. People who are against us say "there isn't even dating strategies" without seeing the fact that us calling out bad behaviour, and learning to what healthy boundaries are IS the strategy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/09/20 09:48 AM
3

No - women just have superpower garbage vision. Like, I can see that your ex-bf is a trash human being.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 11:20 AM
4

"Just tell me what to do and I'll do it". Ok, I want you to grow the fuck up and take responsibility for managing and performing your own life, including household duties.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/09/20 11:12 AM
27

I remember when reddit was using "cumdumpster" all the time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/09/20 09:09 AM
38

Is your mum getting confused between a dog and a man? Because a dog is mucb better at home security
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/09/20 06:48 AM
3

Dump him and take him to court. Hopefully where she's from a de facto relationship entitles you to the assets. Especially if it's easy to prove he used her for a free ride
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 11:11 AM
3

He's breaking your consent when he cums inside you, because you explicitly asked him not to. He doesn't care about why you asked or what you want. Get far away from this man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 10:59 AM
3

I haven't been drinking since last year. I don't miss it - there's so many good non-alcoholic wines that I like more. I truly encourage trying no alcohol for a few months
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 10:58 AM
24

Yep. It's like they're truly suffering without staring at women. I couldn't give a fuck if I didn't see a man for weeks. These guys seem reek of desperation (too much porn in iso?)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 10:55 AM
37

This has 100% been my failing in the past with relationships. Too easy, too chill, too cool girl. However, I get massive anxiety around meeting someone for the first time, and like a short date. I also can't do PDA (like even hold hands) because I think it's rude and immature. I don't like people knowing my personal business, and that includes witnessing a first kiss. Any tips?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/09/20 09:20 AM
3

Look at how hurt is ego is after OP keeps to her standards of practicing safe sex....also, it is TOTALLY not a first date conversation! LVM with no manners...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 10:17 AM
121

100% with the social media posts. I agree with OPs sentiment to find a guy who is proud to be with you, but his actions should show this, rather than a social media post. E.g. wants to introduce you to friends or coworkers and talk to them about your great achievements (rather than as a hot piece of ass which they get to be with)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/08/20 08:04 AM
180

Funnily enough, the "ball and chain" is on the women working full time, and doing the majority of housework and childcare.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/08/20 08:20 AM
11

Me too. Honestly just seems like trash on there. Sidenote: Should you report his profile? It really was not ok what he did to you, and I get concerned that he might go further with other women. You were very clear on your expectations, and clearly did not consent to the groping.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 12:39 AM
28

Honestly, whoever came up with the "3 date rule" for sex was a numpty. Way to go in pressuring women into having sex when they are unsure about the man (OP is a good example). I used to follow this rule because I though I had to (thank goodness I found this sub). Oh would you look at it - all these relationships were 2 months max. My one long term relationship I made the guy wait about a month and a half, and we were coworkers before it so we knew each other. Having sex early in a relationship o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/08/20 12:35 AM
8

If he truly cared about your wellbeing he would respect your boundaries (which you've clearly enforced by blocking him) and leave you the fuck alone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/08/20 07:28 AM
23

Yes, but waiting for commitment is what some women need or prefer for a trusting relationship. I know in the past I have slept with a guy on the 3rd date, and I was definitely rushing myself by some external, societal expectation. If a woman waiting to have sex until she's comfortable to be with someone, and know they're not going to just "pump and dump" makes her a prostitute, then damn this world truely has gone to hell...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 02:02 PM
1

And dat butt
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/08/20 01:44 PM
33

Don't you know? We're supposed to wear metal chastity bras with matching metal panties so not only can nothing be seen, but no other man can take our virtue BUT the man who owns us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 12:31 PM
157

He doesn't want anyone else, especially his friends, seeing the outline of her boobs/nipples because it's HIS boobs/nipples and nobody else is allowed to see it. Basically he's acting like she's an object, and getting territorial and controlling. He knows this, but as per usual, these guys act like narcissists and only care about their own feelings rather than the comfort of their gf. I will say at least he appears to have a bit of emotional intelligence on his own controlling behaviour. Or his …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 12:12 PM
6

Cool, you love cleaning, go get a job where you're PAID to do it. Don't be giving away your time, energy and life for free!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 12:05 PM
24

This needs to have a speech bubble from mario calling her a "tall giant bitch" to be completely accurate. As it stands it makes out that women hate short men; however, what I've seen from posts on here and my own experience, short guys generally have a problem with average/tall women because it makes them feel immasculated. So the short LVM need to verbally abuse or make jokes about these women to make themselves feel better .
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/08/20 12:03 PM
25

Fuck yes! WE protect the women and children. WE call out men when they are being inappropriate to teenage girls. Only WOMEN in a nightclub stood up for me when a man groped me in front of everyone else. Men are cowards; they don't protect shit unless it benefits them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 08:50 AM
11

The complaints come before then according to my pregnant sister's mum group...because women are supposed to be skinny and sexy whilst pregnant...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 08:45 AM
14

This needs to be shouted from the rooftops - you just described my worst nightmare. It is modern day slavery.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 08:44 AM
32

And this is why so many men say they want children: they don't fully think about the responsibilities of having a child because they are left with no repercussions for getting it wrong.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 08:41 AM
19

I'm sorry he was a terrible partner and father. Thank you for the truth of your post. This is the reason why I'm childfree by choice - I see so many women being let down by their partners and, like you said, tortured through sleep deprivation. Please keep telling your story, as people think I'm being "dramatic" and making it up. I hope you and your child/children are living a fantastic life without a useless deadbeat dragging you down. ❤
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/07/20 08:38 AM
1

This is also the same guy who says "he wants kids" and expects his partner to have them outside of marriage with no security. The as soon as he realises it's too hard, off he goes...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/07/20 12:56 PM
1

The idea is that you can do this method on no matter the wage/income. Remember to "first pay yourself". Whether it's $5 or $10 a paycheck, save it into the emergency fund. I've lived on minimum wage (hence the don't look you'll be ok) so I understand how it is. I think it's even more important to have a "fun" account to limit yourself to save something. Oh - and these bank accounts need to be $0 fee.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/07/20 10:20 PM
2

Agree. We have a strategy in my country called "debt recycling" - where you pay down your loan, and open a Line of Credit with that equity to then invest. Most invest in dividend shares, which help them have a return to cycle through the mortgage loan to pay off faster. The idea is that you move from "bad debt" (non tax deductible on PPOR) to "good debt" (tax deductible on investment loan). It's not without risks, and I still would need to crunch the numbers on whether it would be worth setting …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/07/20 11:40 PM
20

Yep, fantastic stuff! It's great to see your bank account go up isn't it? Keep working on that savings rate to your take home pay. Some inspo: 2 years ago my finances were treated as "if I don't look, it's all ok". Then one day I looked and I had $15k to my name after 4 years of fulltime work, which to me, really was not good enough. I had paid for a new car outright, but had also spent a lot of money on shit (mainly clothes that I would then get over in a couple of months). So I set up 4 bank a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 11:18 PM
24

This is great, but looking at OPs situation I think she first needs an emergency fund. At least 6 months of unemployment (especially in this world). The emergency fund should be in cash in a high interest savings account, that way if shit hits the fan, she's not trying to drawdown on her investment account at a potentially bad time (e.g. a loss).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 10:50 PM
20

Funnily enough, they understand this concept when it comes to other situations (work, job interviews, medical appointments, concerts). They just think women will be nice and that's ok, I'm a chill cool girl when they pull this "I'm late" bullshit. They understand it is not good enough. If he's late to meet me it's not good enough; it shows a lack of respect. Show up early like you would a job interview.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/07/20 10:36 PM
35

"Standing up for people in vulnerable situations may result in the backlash towards me. Therefore, I need to only stand up if there's no repercussions for me". K dude, then expect to never stand up for someone. Enjoy spending your life turning a blind eye.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 10:04 AM
5

100% agree. I enjoy making them feeling inadequate now (especially in a professional setting)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 07:23 AM
6

My ex-dude was talking about us going to Hawaii on holiday in 6 months time within the first 2 weeks of us dating. If only I'd found this sub earlier and learnt about future faking
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 02:10 AM
46

Lol, what a shitty compliment. I'm very curvy, but if any guy tried to compliment me on being curvy or thicc I'd hate it! How about compliment me on something that doesn't involve "I thought I'd tell you you made my peepee happy".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 02:05 AM
75

Why do they think their opinion matter anyways? Like cool, didn't ask you, don't care to listen to or acknowledge your unwarranted opinion.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 02:03 AM
27

Also 5'8". I have a preference because (a) attracted to tall guys and (b) when I have dated guys of similar height (or slightly shorter) they chuck a mantrum when I wear heals because it's immasculating. Like, having a girl on your arm that is dressed up and wearing heels is immasculating? K..... I'd prefer not to be controlled into what I wear because of their ego issues or fragile masculinity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/07/20 01:52 AM
14

Geez some guys can be such narcs. You (and the rest of us) deserve better
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/07/20 10:08 AM
5

I'm proud of you for seeing him so clearly and having the courage to make action. I have recently in my post history talked about gaming addiction which might be a good read. You are correct - he doesn't care about his life, only his 'virtual life'. You've done the right thing making your life a priority, because he's not going to; he can't even make his own life a priority.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 10:43 AM
22

Yessssss! I hate it when they act like they're doing a favour by 'helping'. Nah mate, it's just life maintenance
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 07:39 AM
63

Which is exactly why I'm never having children. It is way too risky for women - men seem to turn into pieces of shit as soon as they know they have the woman 'trapped' e.g. pregnant.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 07:37 AM
11

Me too. So many guys who don't wash or brush their teeth :(
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/07/20 07:30 AM
12

I wonder if any men around called out the inappropriate behaviour?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 09:46 PM
13

I also wonder how shit the LVM feel about her even beating them with an insult. "Make me a sandwich" - really guys, is that the best you've got? She's more of a boss than LVM in every way. I'm proud she's an Aussie :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 09:45 PM
9

He's trash, good riddance. And it was probably porn tbh. He's just trying to appear like he's a ladies man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/07/20 07:30 AM
187

Dear men, Empathy costs nothing. Sincerly, Women
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/20 06:00 AM
12

It's doable. Full time work and focussing on my career put an end to it all. That's my problem with gamers - I know from experience how much of a vampire they can be on a relationship. They rely on the other person to make the money and do all the housework, because real life doesn't exist anymore. They just sustain their bodies enough to keep playing. I've always played games since I was 4 (Alex Kidd is the best!), but having an addiction is another level. There is a complete difference to "I'l…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/20 05:50 AM
8

Yep, sounds a lot healthier, especially if during quarantine. As long as the time spent was for the both of you to work on your own hobbies, I don't see a problem. It is important in a relationship to spend time apart. I just know of pickmeishas who play the "cool girl" gf role, sitting and waiting to offer sex in between gaming sessions. We deserve better!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/20 03:44 AM
6

Do you need any real person examples? I'm happy to talk about mine. There's also been a few suicides on WoW to "be with their heroes" due to the addiction: https://www.sk-gaming.com/content/21332-Gamer_attempts_suicide_with_sawblade https://www.foxnews.com/story/chinese-warcraft-game-distributor-sued-over-teens-suicide https://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/ny-reckful-byron-bernstein-dead-20200702-yo7ygsu4afab5pcb4zv4z4jgdi-story.html
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/20 03:39 AM
10

I would argue that both are bad. I think it's ok if they're home alone or you're busy with your own hobbies. Kissing you in between matches and only paying you attention when you mention sex is pretty LVM. A HVM would respect the time you are taking out of your day to be with him, and would put down the game. If you enjoy spectating that's fine, but even then I would argue the online conversation via microphone shouldn't be used as it is still making you not be an active participant. Just compar…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/20 03:26 AM
29

As someone who was a female gamer and addicted to WoW for years, this post is spot on. It was escapism for me (stuck in a controlling relationship). I was unemployed and didn't grow in my life for a good year. I was the worst version of myself during those years; all of the bad qualities you pointed out are spot on. I would not see my friends or get a job because I needed to focus on getting best in slot gear for my virtual life. I would be ok with all this because my virtual achievements were n…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/07/20 03:15 AM
90

The thing is - she is communicating. She told him she didn't like watching it, and her action of going to bed also communicating. I'm sure there was loads of other non-verbal communication going on as well. Communication is a 2 way street, amd it sounds like he wasn't willing to 1. Properly listen and 2. Act on changes required.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/07/20 11:16 AM
13

My last ex had anxiety problems. Proceeded to go on about how unhappy he is after he just came (I blew him off because I was on my period 🤡). I thought he was breaking up with me, so I started crying because that's how the ex no. 2 broke up with me - manipulated me into thinking he wanted something long term but he just wanted sex. So previous ex called me manipulative making the situation about myself because he's * the one with anxiety issues, not *me. Like dude - we're all allowed to have our…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/07/20 09:47 PM
2

100% true. And that they can get away with it because generally women flight/freeze. He just picked the woman who looks 23 but is actually 32 and is done with this bullshit from men. I have the appropriate coping skills as a 32 year old to be able to fight and not feel shame.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 09:31 PM
27

Whenever I have given into the 3 date rule in the past, it's blown up in my face. It doesn't "keep them interested" - it has the opposite effect. Men say they want one thing but don't rrally know what they want.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 09:28 PM
3

That's what I though - we get turned into Zoidberg! I love Zoidberg
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 01:26 PM
4

What a boss! We've all got this self-defence instinct in us when needed (although maybe not the smartest when a gun is involved). Theres one time that I'm still proud of myself for fighting back: I was walking into a club when some guy grabbed my pussy. I had to literally remove his hand. Instead of "flighting" my reaction was fight - I was crushing this man's hand and not letting it go. My other hand was waving a pointed finger, scalding him like he was a dog, yelling "you don't do that to wome…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 01:18 PM
3

I just wouldn't reply. I often have plans, and a man should understand that and that I'm not waiting around for him tp invite me to something just before it's happening
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 12:54 PM
33

Chance to experiment = giving this guy free head and getting no orgasm myself. What a deal...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 12:46 PM
22

Remember: he was probably better in his head than he actually was. He wasted your time, and then pulld this breadcrumbing bs. Definitely not HVM, he was not looking for longterm
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 12:43 PM
16

They do - my brother in law is a great example! He does over 50% of the housework whilst working, because my sister cooks and raises their 1 yo. My sister is also pregnant. As he sees it is she's already doing so much with his family, that he can do extra as she's exhausted by the end of the day. The best thing, is he does this all without expecting recognition or praise, because it's just him doing what he needs to to make his wife happy and comfortable (I only know because O currently live wit…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/07/20 11:38 AM
8

I love how they expect us to be sitting around ready to accept their LVM asses back into our lives. Like no, I've grown as a person, making myself even further out of your reach.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/07/20 11:12 AM
43

The reason why I ended up on this subreddit. Chose a "safe" guy who was well below me and still thought he could get better lol. Spoiler: he's still single 3 years later
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 11:18 AM
1

My dad can cook. Just magically not when my mum is in the vicinity
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/07/20 08:14 AM
145

I mentioned on an askmen thread recently that I'm overweight and when looking for an equal in a partner, overweight men who are bigger than me tend to think they can "get better" (e.g. a skinnier girl they can crush during sex). A commenter said that overweight people have hygiene issues, and that's why I probably can't find a guy. I laughed so much because I do everything you've listed there (plus waterpik floss - ladies, get onto it), and just imagined some reddit guy who hasn't showered, used…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 11:08 PM
3

I guess it depends which country. In mine, the teacher's union would be right onto this...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 10:58 PM
3

https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/6rr6ay/tifu_by_cumming_into_a_coconut/ Read at your own risk
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 11:46 AM
30

I'm surprised an employer can fire someone over this and not have an unfair dismissal case on them?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 11:44 AM
6

This one shits me off so much! Why am I emotional and run by my biological urges when I haven't been popping out kids since I went through puberty, yet like you said, men are completely driven by their biological urges that they'll fuck a coconut.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 11:32 AM
6

Called my dad out recently for wanting my mum to make his lunch. We had toasted sandwiches and he wasn't there, so I just said to mum to leave it out and he can make his own when he comes back (or else it would be cold and soggy). He came back and said "you didn't let me know lunch is ready?". I said yeah it is, you just need to put the sandwich together and put it in the toaster. My dad, who is 64 pretended to not know how to make a toasted sandwich. Like, he was playing it up so much that he d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 11:29 AM
23

Our generation have a problem with needing instant gratification. No such thing as working to build a relationship
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 11:04 AM
4

Oooo yea. "Third date rule" when I don't even know the guy aren't don't even trust him enough to be sexually attracted to him
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/07/20 10:28 AM
5

Thanks - They both has passed away when I found out. So not really much to heal aside from the fact that I'm sad I wasn't there for mt grandma. It's just me and my parents that know, not the rest of my family. Sometimes it's better to let sleeping dogs lie and not upset my sister with this. I always disliked this uncle, he yelled and called me a bitch about 5cm from my face when I was 10. His daughter and I were having a fight and I didn't want to say at hers (as 10 year olds do). He was scarily…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 04:40 AM
3

Thanks for being a good person and looking out for him :). Although I don't expect any less from our FDS ladies! Like you said, why put a man's needs before your child's...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/07/20 04:35 AM
8

LVM: "Yeah well, you're driven by your biological impulse to have children and have a man look after you" Me: "I don't want children actually, mainly because I don't want to be a man's slave"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 07:52 AM
17

My uncle digitally raped my grandmother because she was constipated. Instead of taking her to the hospital which was literally 500m from their home, he decided to cause damage to her insides (my mum couldn't describe it she was so upset). Which ended up with her having to get stitches in hospital.... If only I had known when my uncle was alive.... But hey, we're a hate sub because we're willing to point out shitty LVM behaviour like the above
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 07:48 AM
8

This is how kids end up being abused by their mother's bf. The mother turns a blind eye because the bf is "the one". Please keep an eye out for signs of abuse with this kid if you can.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 07:42 AM
12

Ah - ultimatums before even meeting is always a good sign /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 07:39 AM
5

Online dating
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 07:33 AM
8

Why would you continue dating a man who doesn't treat your children well? Pickmeishas are damn dangerous sometimes...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 07:33 AM
24

My last guy said on a Sunday "lets catchup on Thursday night". Then proceeded to ignore my texts until that Thursday. Gosh I wish I knew then to block after 24 hours and move on...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 07:31 AM
17

My sister was demanding a push present from her husband. After he had just booked them a holiday. After he had just bought her presents "on a whim" to be romantic. I think he would've bought her a push present, but for her to demand one after seeing other women get it on social media is pretty selfish behaviour imo. It's about the gesture, not getting endless amounts of presents.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 07:28 AM
22

"I want to experience everything I can in life that requires no pain or effort on my behalf"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 07:23 AM
27

I've never understand how anal is "adventurous" for a man. He's still sticking his dick in a hole, ain't nothing very different in experience.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/07/20 02:42 AM
5

Proud of you. Remember to download the handbook and keep reflecting on past relationships to learn from your mistakes. In the mean time, continue focusing on yourself. Hopefully r/femalelevelupstrategy would survive even if fds was to be banned. Make yourself the best version of you before you even try finding a HVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 10:39 AM
8

Leaving them on read hurts their ego far more than anything you'll write
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 10:36 AM
7

How the hell do these LVM justify their thinking? Like seriously, someones in a high amount of pain, and they still need to make it about themselves? Jesus christ grow up man babies....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 09:52 AM
3

Exactly what I thought - what's his personal gain in defending rapists? Why would anyone do that unless they've assaulted or raped someone?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 08:05 AM
2

Oh GOSH do I feel this! My sister loves saying snarky comments at family gatherings ("geeeee I looove your earrings, did you make them yourself" insert sneer) then playing the DARVO method when I call her out on her comments. I'm always the bad guy causing drama because she was just giving me a compliment! (With no sarcastic attitude behind it whatsoever...) I'm sorry - but I've learnt over decades that if a child is more favoured (sorry to say, but your brother is the favourite most likely) the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 08:00 AM
5

He did not deserve OPs forgiveness, he's just trying to soothe his guilt without any actual action of change to behaviour. Blocking and silent treatment to never give him the satisfaction of soothing his guilt is the best move
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 07:40 AM
16

Nah too hard. Let's blame women instead - she was probably wearing something inappropriate and deserved it /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 07:34 AM
23

Yes. And you think we still have quality posts on main subs? Even if there are, they are filled with comments making jokes about assault, rape, sex trafficking and pedophilia. A good example - on a highly rated thread in askmen https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/hijdhb/how_did_you_overcomechange_an_unhealthy_mindset. Looks like a pretty good question from OP on how to treat women, with a good top response on how you need to expose yourself to all women, not just one's you're attracted to. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/07/20 03:49 AM
2

Even when you go to a "female sub" e.g. twoxchromosomes, the comments are half from guys going "BuT aCtUaLlY....", influencing the culture of the sub. Hell, I've been told I've been crazy on Twox after telling a story about how I was upset after being sexually assaulted (pussy grabbed just walking into a nightclub). Reddit and society/men in general love to invalidate our experiences as women. "That doesn't happen", "you're overreacting", "why did you walk alone at night", "it's not rape if it's…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 09:27 PM
2

Seriously, this is the only sub I frequent now - I may just look at contagiouslaughter every now and again. The rest of reddits comments sections are a dumpster fire of penis jokes, objectification of women or hate on other groups. I've been on reddit since 2009 - it's been a good run.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 02:04 PM
7

I'm happy to distance myself from that. Future vetting will be even easier by asking "do you use reddit?"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 02:03 PM
4

Seriously, this is the only sub I frequent now - I may just look at contagiouslaughter every now and again. The rest of reddits comments sections are a dumpster fire of penis jokes, objectification of women or hate on other groups. I've been on reddit since 2009 - it's been a good run.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 02:02 PM
15

We should all move off reddit onto the website. Seriously, this is the only sub I frequent now - I may just look at contagiouslaughter every now and again. The rest of reddits comments sections are a dumpster fire of penis jokes, objectification of women or hate on other groups. I've been on reddit since 2009 - it's been a good run.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 01:52 PM
14

We should all move off reddit onto the website anyways. Seriously, this is the only sub I frequent now - I may just look at contagiouslaughter every now and again. The rest of reddits comments sections are a dumpster fire of penis jokes, objectification of women or hate on other groups. I've been on reddit since 2009 - it's been a good run.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 01:45 PM
21

Because they think we're making this stuff up. No really - that's why we'd be labelled a hate sub, because they have no damn idea the abuse, objectification and general lack of respect women endure in their daily lives, let alone in the dating scene. Women should have the right to call out poor, and frankly illegal, behaviour of LVM. Instead they just invalidate our opinions or emotions (sexist much?). If this sub goes, I think I'll quit reddit altogether. I can't stand most other subs now that …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/06/20 01:34 PM
4

There are the 'nice guys', but I've noticed this growing trend of negging and "I'm just looking for casual" before even seeing "hi how are you" to someone. Like ok, even if I was looking for something casual (which I'm not - I'd also like to orgasm and casual sed never results in that), you still need to treat me like a person and not a sex doll.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/20 09:57 PM
49

Is it just me, or do they not understand what they're up against? You're killing it, I'm killing it, and so are many other women on here. Yet these guys think they're better than us, or get free access to us with nothing to give back except for the worst sex of our lives? They severely overestimate themselves and underestimate women.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/20 09:48 AM
3

Not sure as like you said, legality is different between countries/states. But, the fund is used to either (a) emergency money in case something goes wrong and (b) spend on hobbies. By the time it would get to a divorce I think the money would be gone before then
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/06/20 10:01 AM
4

I cannot emphasise enough on getting personal finances in order, saving a bit each paycheck. Set up a separate bank account and do not touch (even if it's just small amounts for what you can afford, it's the habit). My gosh - to be 18 right now and save properly with compound interest/returns working. I'd be retired by 35-40 if I knew what I did now!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 12:06 PM
4

"We accept the love we think we deserve". This has stuck with me from seeing another post on here. I think what you're dealing with is a lack of self-confidence; you say one minute you feel confident and he doesn't deserve you, the next it switches. I would say maybe you need to work on your self-worth so that you feel like you deserve a HVM 100% of the time? It's definitely easier said than done - I know sometimes I look in the mirror and don't like what I see. But I do know that no matter what…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 11:55 AM
6

How long did you spend vetting?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 11:37 AM
1

Perfecto!😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 10:46 AM
8

This is why it's important for women to have their own secret bank account; not only to escape DV situations, but men have secret accounts alllll the time for their hobbies.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 10:44 AM
2

I feel like I need to wear a shirt with this meme on it. It's like my spirit animal (but meme? Spirit meme?). At least the starey men would maybe get the picture then!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 10:39 AM
3

Ooohoho! Imagine if he knew about the mess of periods! I would just looooove to actually show these guys and teach them the glory of the female body. And I use a menstrual cup so it would be an extra gorey lesson.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 10:36 AM
5

I've been told this too. But doesn't everybody fart in their sleep? For a guy to mention it is red flag imo, like "yeah I did, so what? You probably farted too. Are you going to try and shame me now to knock me down a peg?"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 10:33 AM
3

I love this and you! I just did the weirdest laugh, something like this https://youtu.be/-ZrvflNZPCM But for real: I'm enjoying the peace I have in life being single. My country is coming out of lockdown and every guy is so damn starey and trying to get into my space and ruin my peace. I am legit Homer everyday at the moment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/20 10:27 AM
17

These men need to learn the concept of shame This x 100. And not just with men and cleaning. Men with everything. I feel like women get so much shame for things we can't control (e.g. period leaks) but men don't get shamed for their disgusting habits which they can control (e.g. dick cheese and not wiping their asses properly).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 12:21 PM
29

Perfect example of the 3 month rule - he couldn't maintain the good guy act for that long. Initial love bombing, but couldn't maintain it?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 12:10 PM
1

Too true
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/06/20 09:44 AM
8

Lol, what is with gatekeeping? These guys complain that they can't find a woman with the same interests, but when one shows up they act like assholes and scare her off! Seriously, men are not ok and need professional help.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 12:58 PM
12

Comedians are successful because they understand their audience. These guys make a joke which is funny to themselves but don't even think to how those comments with be received by the other person. Then it's the other person's "fault" for not being able to take a joke and being too sensitive. Like, no my man, being an asshole to people isn't being funny or witty, and shows a lack of understanding into how good comedy works. The fact that he tried to use this as a way to pick up is the true comed…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 12:51 PM
16

I know, what's with that! I remember one mediocre-looking guy said in his response to best small things in life was "the perfect temperature shower". I matched it with the message "so a boiling hot shower?" His response "yeah I guess you need it that hot to remind you of the hell women crawled out of". Even before FDS I knew to nope out of that conversation. That's the issue with matching with ordinary guys for their "potential" - they always don't meet it (I thought, hmmm not good looking but m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 12:35 PM
44

I love it how he thinks unplanned pregnancies is a joke to women. Nothing anxiety-inducing about the an unplanned pregnancy at all.. Like "Yeah, good joke. Nothing like laughing about my worst nightmare that would completely ruin my life! Oh would you look at that, I'm all of a sudden ridiculously attracted to you because of your great sense of humour that doesn't understand the audience at all..."
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 12:25 PM
18

100%. If a man expects a woman to pay half, he better view the woman as more than just a uterus to bear his children. A woman who pays half has to work to pay half. And she won't be working if she has a difficult pregnancy or birth which makes her ill, and caring for children after birth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 12:12 PM
22

Agree. I've never understood "respect is earned". I'm sorry, but who the hell raised these people? Good people show strangers a base level of respect and treat with dignity (see service industry employees). However, if someone shows me they're a terrible person after meeting them, that's when they lose my respect. I will also not stand for what OP said - men can show me a base level of respect, or out the door they go. I will not stand for a man who doesn't treat me with basic human dignity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 12:05 PM
81

Yes, we cannot be judge and jury, including determining the punishment for the crime. But if the system is systemically failing to protect victims due to the perpetrator being a white male - what does the judicial system expect? That we're all just going to sit back and be raped, and be ok the man walks free? Just like convicted rapist Brock Turner, society will take punishment into it's own hands if the judicial system fails, whether it is making sure they don't get the cushy life they expected…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 11:54 AM
42

The judicial system was built by white men. Of course it's going to benefit white men over everyone else. Radical reform is needed, especially like the situation mentioned. Why should being a victim of crime or harassment make a person unable to be a jury member? Because they understand what the victim went through, and how horrible the crime actually is? As opposed to someone who like you said, may have the opposite bias and have committed the crime themselves? Surely there can be other checks …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/20 11:46 AM
2

He sounds lazy af. The mental load is so high with these guys because their expectation is that everybody else organise their life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 10:35 PM
3

Agree. The best thing is to plan life to be single (get that financial independence sorted). If a nice HVM who sees me as more than a vessel for popping out children comes my way...great. If not, I'll be perfectly happy in my own house, with my dog, good career, and loving family and friends.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 01:49 PM
2

I'm looking to build my own house right now and going through this dilemma! I'm currently deciding whether 4 bed is too big for me 😊. But like the post says, if Ican afford it and want it, why not! 1 bed for me, 1 for guest room, 1 for an office and 1 for errrrmmmm...stuff.... I'm thinking to get a 4 bedroom as it doesn't cost much more than a 3, and it would be easier to sell (4th bed is media room, which people expect now in my area)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 01:44 PM
11

I too have realised how much society downplays how valuable 'feminine' traits are. I've been reflecting on my career and how I've been able to be so successful. I've realised that my ability to understand people's point of view quickly, show empathy and understanding, and work with a value set to improve the workplace are incredibly strong and valuable traits. I've noted a lot of males in my profession do not have these, and stomp all over their clients with what they want not happening because …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 01:31 PM
8

And never give up on your own ambitions to supplement a man's growing career - see Justine Musk
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 01:23 PM
3

It's not excusing the behaviour, I agree she shouldn't be texting that early and shouldn't be "harassing" him to organise the date. However, I do think the word "clingy" is used too much by men when in fact the men aren't communicating appropriately. He booked out a night with her in her calendar, he should be telling her wellll before midday that day when she can arrive. Yes, OP needs to work on self worth (and just walk away from this man), but she is definitely being treated poorly and with a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 01:15 PM
6

Yes. Clingy is used waaaay too much and I agree in this situation it's not right (the 6:40am seems early, but then again I'm not a morning person). The OP was trying to clarify the time they should meet. This is where she's wrong and shouldn't waste her time chasing a LVM putting in minimal effort. I've become mad at guys in the past with this LVM behaviour. E.g. In the past, the guy said on Sunday we'd have dinner on Thursday. He didn't communicate for days, then I turned into OP to try and org…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 01:06 PM
3

This man needs to be taught porn isn't reality
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 03:38 AM
10

Don't let this slip. I was this way, then met a guy I liked and had sex with him on the 4th date when I promised myself I'd take it slow. Oh boy did I regret it. Not only was he a narcissist with anxiety problems, the sex was horrible because there was no deep connection and he was fat and unfit. Not worth it whatsoever.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 03:34 AM
9

Was he really up all night doing homework though?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 03:31 AM
9

Woooow "feels like you'd have to actually have cancer". Where is this man so I can slap him down? (And I am a very non-violent person, this just is boiling my blood so much!) Hope you are well now. You definitely deserve to have in your life a man who is loving and cares for your wellbeing. This piece of trash was likely a narcissistic or psychopath with his lack of empathy...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 03:30 AM
9

I fucking hate this "clingy" bullshit! We agreed to meet and you wasted my time by not being ready or ignoring me by playing games! Me being mad isn't clingy - it's the man showing a lack of respect for my time and life. The word clingy is thrown around by LVM as an excuse for their terrible, time-wasting actions. If a man uses the word clingy it's time to respect yourself and peace out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 03:27 AM
7

It makes me so sad of hearing stories of new mothers like yourself back then, with the most LVM as your partners. I'm sorry he was a POS and didn't realise the amount of work that goes into being a new mum raising a newborn (especially with the issues you had). They don't change how they act, and still expect their wives to organise their life. That's why I won't let men take an inch anymore (even though I don't want children due to the exact situation you've experienced). Hopefully your life is…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/20 03:23 AM
34

He's only wanting you around to boost his ego from the attention you're giving. His texts are rude. He does not respect you, therefore would not see you as a long term goal. Block and stop wasting your time feeding his ego. Spend that time on yourself, hobbies, friends and family that actually matter in your life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/20 01:01 PM
56

Past pickme "he's bald and fat, has no fashion sense, isnt achieving anything in his career, is in a mountain of a debt and has mental health issues. But he seems really into me! Lil old me! This must be something really special!" Queue me falling too quickly and scaring a guy off who was well below me, leaving me scratching my head as to why I couldn't even keep such a loser. (Hint: too fast, too available, too much of an easy 'win'). Me now: "Men have to prove to me why I would spend my limite…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/06/20 10:37 AM
3

One of my exes said "women aren't funny" and "men can't be friends with women, they just see them for sex". Waving them red flags in my face, yet I still slept with him 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/20 01:30 PM
6

Dick flicks haha. If they wouldnt get some weird ego boost from me calling movies " dick flicks", I 100% would!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/20 01:28 PM
9

Agree with you. Not sure if it's a culture thing with other people, but where I'm from there are a lot of male/female friendships. I have a few men who I am friends with. HVM can be friends with women as they don't see our only value being sex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/20 01:17 PM
72

"Me me me" - the LVM OP
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/20 01:13 PM
14

Yikes? This sub is pretty anti-porn...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/06/20 01:06 PM
11

I can't imagine someone thinking I'm overreacting if one of my parents died. They're so important to me and my world. That guy has some sort of issue with empathy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 08:49 AM
5

But as soon as the woman is sick you're "overreacting" or they're out the door!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/06/20 08:44 AM
29

I love newbies discovering us and us helping them grow. I do however dislike seeing people who have just discovered this sub giving advice which is directly against the FDS handbook. Please new joiners - sit back and observe the culture. I've also noticed a LOT of LVM posts/memes but not much discussion making it to the top (moreso than back in January when I started lurking). It would be nice if seeking advice posts or similar would be more of a focus to help assist in growing ourselves. Be a m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 03:57 AM
11

This. I would be willing to date a shorter guy. I have dated a guy who was the same height as me, and would get cranky when I wore heels as he would "feel immasculated" (his words). Then I have short guys calling me a giant at 5'8". I'm not a giant asshole, you're just a tiny man with a complex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/20 12:24 AM
11

I explained to my parents today that I don't want children because most men are unrealiable, don't do their share of household and child caring duties, and will up and leave at the first sign of hard times (which is going to happen with a small child!). I think my parents finally get it! I would love marriage, but to the right person. It's great not to have to rush to find someone due to the "ticking clock".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 01:35 PM
6

Pretty sure he'd "drop by" to return the toiletries and break it off then and there because she's "moving too fast". Which like, ok guys, you want to have sex us and have us stay over, but we're not allowed to have a toothbrush?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/06/20 01:25 PM
1

Congrats on passing your engineering exam! Yes, I'm beginning to see more and more the self-love aspect. Like, I have the right to be my weight and not have people treat me like I'm less than. But I also have the right to choose to improve myself how I see fit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 11:55 AM
1

Thanks for your balanced view. This is honestly one of the things stopping me from doing weightloss surgery. I love my boobs, and am quite worried the weight loss will make them saggy. I am concerned because like you said -if you get a BA you'll have to get them redone every 10 to 20 years. Plus all the risks of complications (I watch a lot of Botched). It's good to know of the fat grafting option. But i think I'd be happy with a lift if it ever became a problem
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/20 11:49 AM
11

swimming in my full-time 6 figures essential job Honestly, this whole vibe is how I feel on OLD. So many guys who look like they crawled out of the gutter acting like they're better than me??? Hahahaha sorry couldn't hear your stupid negging over all my accomplishments (I also have 3 bachelors and my CA, plus currently studying another post grad)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 02:08 PM
15

Number 3. Watch their language, it will often be about how they feel, and not focussing on how you feel. For example, the guy will say "I feel horrible that I cheated on you. Please forgive me". There's no acknowledgement of the pain you feel/felt or the results of their actions, and it's just looking to soothe their guilt. If they cared they would acknowledge your hurt feelings instead of their own. For example, the guy should say "I am sorry my actions disrespected you, made you feel alone, ma…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 02:00 PM
7

"Yeah, adorable. Bye" Lol, queen response 👏👏👏
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 01:50 PM
12

Ah, the mental gymnastics they need to play to make themselves "better" than us. also laughs in CA designation and riches
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 01:48 PM
8

I grew up where it was ingrained in my soul to only have one person talking. So if I was interrupted, I would have to stop talking. My bro in law and sister are really bad at interrupting me at family gatherings, to keep the narrative on themselves. I've been working on continuing talking through it and making them look like self-absorbed idiots in the process. What helps is by maintaining eye contact with the interrupter and establishing dominance that "I am speaking". I think this practice has…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 01:43 PM
46

Please tell me he got his ass handed to him in the comments
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 01:37 PM
49

Insecurities about his manhood. I'm glad real HVM would be empathetic to her situation. Let's just hope this asshat doesn't fuck up her mental health and create trust issues
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 01:33 PM
12

As the post stated, married women die younger whilst married men live longer. They are literally stealing those women's life energy so they can be lazy assholes and domestically abusive in some cases
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 01:27 PM
9

I hate when people say "___ comes first in my life". Like, why do your priorities need to be so black and white? Why can't that uncle balance both his relationships with his mother and his wife? Seems like some kind of sick competition, where the wife will get upset about him backing the mother always and will call the wife 'crazy'. I see a lot of the "my kids will always come first over you" on online dating and I'm so thankful they wave that red flag straight up. I don't need some guy that doe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/20 01:24 PM
2

Are you meaning the issue of sizing was in your head? Or the worry about impact on your professional career?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 09:16 AM
2

Yes I love the show Botched - hence the hesitation. I do think a lot of people rush out to get surgeries, even if they consider it to be minor e.g. fillers. I have been researching and talking to people over a year about WLS. But I'm still terrified! I want the life improvements, but I don't want the risk of major complications (low chance but I'm extremely risk averse) or excess skin requiring surgery.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 09:15 AM
10

I'm sorry your ex broke your nose. What a douche canoe! I think that's the thing - wanting to do these things can be a form of self-love if you're doing it for yourself and not because some guy you like prefers women with big boobs etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 04:00 AM
2

Great response! The clothes and makeup analogy is good. I often get the "gee you're dressed up, who you trying to impress" from the family, when I in fact just love wearing nice outfits! For WLS I get a lot of "you're not even that big", "you look fine" or "it's good you've got a bit of meat on your bones for if you get sick". Meanwhile, I need to remember I want to do it for me, and it's not just about the way I look but also how I feel.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/06/20 03:50 AM
1

As far as I understand with breast implants, you need them replaced every 10 years(feel free to correct me if I'm wrong). Would you consider just removing them to improve your back/posture now? Do you still feel like you're getting some personal value from the surgery (whether looking or feeling better about yourself). I am definitely concerned about getting WLS and losing my boobs! I'm not going to lie about having my beauty attached to having pretty nice boobs. And the thought of getting a boo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 11:16 PM
2

Thanks for your post - I totally get the idea of it "not being you". I have a little bit of this feeling with my appearance (I'm not supposed to have this belly). But I feel it moreso when I feel out of breath doing things, like walking up stairs. I was a tennis champion as a kid, so I'm just disappointed in myself. Now, WLS isn't going to turn me into a gym junkie, but I think it will definitely help me moving and getting out there. My joints will thank me for worrying about getting rid of some…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 10:49 PM
2

Yeah I've been researching over a year on WLS forums. Some of them spout hate on their former selves (kinds like us and our past pickme ways). I just don't feel that way - I've worked hard on accepting myself for who I am. And thanks to FDS, I feel that more than ever :). I'm someone who has never gone under for surgery, so the whole process terrifies me if I'm honest. But I do need to do something about mt weight, and after years of failed diets where I lose 20-30kg only to slowly put it back o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 09:57 PM
2

The house analogy is great. I don't think I have body dysmorphia - I do think I'm a beautiful person. I've been researching for over a year and talking to 3 different women who have had the same surgery. I think me wanting WLS is coming from a place of self-love to look after my body, but I also can't deny that I also want to look and feel good in myself! I am definitely concerned about requiring plastic surgery to fix loose skin, as that's a lot more intense. I'm not THAT big though, just maybe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 09:53 PM
2

Thanks. 'Feeling attractive' was used for lack of better words. I've seen people in the WLS forums hating on their current/former selves and I just don't feel that way - I think I am currently beautiful and pretty! (I hold the weight well). In saying that, I would love to not struggle when going shopping, feel more comfortable in swimwear and just in general get back to having a body that helps me do things I enjoy (I was a very active, fit kid and during puberty I gained a lot of weight). I'm t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 09:41 PM
7

Yeah. It's a marriage, she is entitled to half. He's probably one that thinks because she doesn't work to raise the kids, she's not entitled to any of the money earned.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 10:53 AM
1

I'm sorry that this man went beyond your boundaries after you made it very clear what those boundaries were. I would not see this man again based on his need to rush to sex, even though your body language is displaying otherwise. Also, if for some reason you don't block him and he pulls the "i feel terrible" or anything else similar: don't fall for it. He is focussing on how bad/guilty he feels and trying to get rid of that feeling by asking your forgiveness. If he really cared about his guilt, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/20 08:58 AM
41

Don't worry - I've noticed some weird downvoting patterns in the last few weeks. I think with all the new members. I bet that guy who's saying he'd make he fresh orange juice was making fresh orange juice for himself, and she would have some. He was probably making it sound like he just did it for her right?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 08:02 AM
1

Calling any woman a cow will definitely increase my chances of getting my dick wet!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 04:09 AM
3

Yep. I am also assuming OP may be too invested in this person and they haven't met yet (non-stop texting and he's super cute).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 04:07 AM
14

Also the "i feel horrible now" part. I always see this as a way of manipulation in an argument, it's so narcissistic. Instead of saying "I'm sorry I hurt your feelings and made you feel self conscious about your body" they instead flip the bad feelings back onto themselves (reversing victim).
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/05/20 03:13 AM
3

I've heard so many great things about them - sounds like it's definitely worth the investment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 02:35 PM
1

How long were you together?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 02:24 PM
9

Best advice I can give that other posters haven't given is read the handbook information for this sub, and read the posts for a couple of weeks. And learn to cut yourself some slack, because you will beat yourself up over falling for this guy's tricks.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 02:05 PM
11

I feel for you, are you doing ok? I'm a slow mover when it comes to dating (thanks FDS for making me feel like its ok). I am uncomfortable wity early PDA, yet guys are so pushy to "seal the deal" with a kiss. Like dude, I don't want our first kiss to be in front of a bunch of people, how awkward...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 02:01 PM
5

Do weighted blankets get very hot? I more or less live in the sun for 6 months of the year.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 01:55 PM
6

Everytime I've dismissed a gut feel on a man, Ive regretted it. Well done on trusting your instincts, make sure to keep yourself safe.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 01:51 PM
1

I think it's important to make it the focus of the conversation as other posters have mentioned, to knock him out of the "poor me" mentality. This is all assuming he raises with me this in our coffee catchups - I will definitely not be looking to engage first on this. "So how's the anxiety around the unplanned pregnancy" really just doesn't roll off the tongue nicely 😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 01:10 PM
1

Yes, definitely don't want to overstep and have an angry pregnant lady after me haha! I'll be thinking of it like he gets a coupon for 1 sad session of sympathy from me, then it's focussing on his partner's needs in the future if he raises it again. Standing in his shoes, I could just imagine how tough it would be feeling the emotions of an unplanned pregnancy when everyone else is excited and congratulating them.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 01:06 PM
1

Thankyou for being the voice of reason in a thread where people have decided to bash the couple instead of providing advice to me on my pickme behaviour if the past where I'd be the free counsellor. Your advice gave me really good food for thought, especially about limiting the interaction as much as possible from the initial "you need to be there for your partner".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 01:01 PM
0

"Possible feelings" "relationship troubles" really? Have you even read any of my responses on this thread? I'm done wasting my time engaging in this as it's a whole bunch of projected assumptions
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 12:58 PM
1

I'm concerned for her mental wellbeing. Stepping into her shoes, if I was a forever gf and pregnant I would feel all sorts of anxiety right now. There are no indications of him leaving her, but I just want to reiterate to him (if we do have the discussion) that he needs to mentally be there to support his partner emotionally.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 12:53 PM
0

You came out of the gate swinging with anger, not me. Who knows how the fuck they have sex, I don't want to bloody know. This post wasn't a "let's all have a laugh at this unfortunate situation that 2 people are going through". My assumption is he managed to go this long (8 years with her I think?) without getting her pregnant, it must be an accident with contraception. In the end we can make assumptions until the cows come home, but showing some fucking compassion to these 2 people would be nic…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 12:40 PM
1

No you said "performs all necessary steps to conceive". Implying that having sex is performing all necessary steps to conceive as there was no mention of contraception in my post, but mention they are childfree. Even if they only used 1 form of protection, they are allowed to be upset. Unplanned pregnancies are not something that people "deserve" as a consequence of being in a relationship and the contraception failing. And I'm using myself being upset as an example for discussion (putting mysel…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 12:17 PM
1

He's been a friend for 1.5 years. We have the same unusual hobbies and talk a lot on finance (share podcasts etc). He has a lot of the same views as me, and is just an interesting person to have a conversation with. I'm just concerned because I previously haven't had a "deep and meaningful" conversation with him yet, and I am concerned about appearing to be pickme with the free emotional labour/free therapist issue that women often have to deal with. I think if he raises his worries with me in o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 03:29 AM
-1

No it's the assumptions you're taking in your post about childfree people being irresponsible. That's incorrect - most of us try hard to not end up with an unplanned pregnancy. I have no idea on their sex protection status, it's not exactly something I want to know. This is me posting after him saying "thanks for not auto congratulating me" and wondering if being supportive for a male coworker/friend is overstepping the mark into pickme territory. I have yet to talk to him in person about this, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 02:59 AM
10

This is exactly how I feel! Its so awkward. And the worst part is people no longer make the effort using the "old ways". People used to meet partners through mutual friends or family, now it seems really rare.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 02:45 AM
-1

I think this is a bit unfair on the childfree community. If I used double protection and still got pregnant, I would think I would be allowed to be upset. Expecting people to be celibate because they don't want a child is a ridiculous concept. Edit: downvote? I guess FDS hates childfree women and their option to choose their own path now...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 02:01 AM
1

Isn't it a bit extreme to stop talking to a friend because his partner is pregnant?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 01:59 AM
2

Yeah. I'll definitely be looking out for her wellbeing in these conversations. I'm not sure I made it clear enough in the original post. He is allowed to feel panicked and anxious about being a parent when it wasn't planned, but it doesn't mean acting on these feelings by not supporting his partner emotionally during these times. I will not support him leaving his partner, or looking for a way out. She is going through enough already. Men seem to not understand the toll pregnancy has on a woman,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/20 12:08 AM
4

Lol, what a piece of work. They all have these lofty ambitions, but then reality hits and they always come back.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 11:59 PM
1

Any advice?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 11:02 PM
2

Thanks for the advice! Yeah - it is definitely a flaw in my INFJ personality where I gain a energy from influencing others; but I need to realise my limitations, and that I am not a professional and do not understand the nuances. I do have compassion with the panic he and his partner (assuming she doesn't want as well) must feel, especially during COVID and our work also was just a nightmare from COVID as well. But yes "r u ok" - if anything further here's the numbers to a helpline. And also a "…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 10:47 PM
5

I threw up in my mouth a little. Has this guy tried reconnecting with you? My dude tried sliding back in via linkedin. I remember seeing the connection requesting and said "hell no", laughed out loud and cancelled. The audacity!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 10:25 PM
2

And that will be my message if he does come to me expecting sympathy. Yeah it sucks he wasn't planning it, but it has and now he needs to support his partner. I know during pregnancy and post-partum is the most vulnerable time for a woman, especially their partner being abusive or leaving as I've outlined previously here https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/gmmw55/dump_him/fr8a7gm. It would definitely not be a "poor you, you should leave her" conversation. In a way, I feel like…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 10:20 PM
2

It's an accident by the sounds of it, not a planned pregnancy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 10:13 PM
5

Yeah this would be my response. Initial sympathy from an "r u ok" discussion, but also a kick up the bum to take responsibility and to realise this is a serious time for his long tern gf. As I've read these comments, I think it's ok to have an initial conversation, but anything more he needs to speak to a professional. I am definitely in no way going to say "poor you she should do this" because it is taking the responsibility off him which is what maybe your mum was doing?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 10:11 PM
1

Yep. It will be hard for me to not eyeroll if he mentions he wanted to be childfree, didn't get the snip, and relied on his partner's birth control. But I am definitely not asking him directly about this as it is a bit too much information for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 10:07 PM
2

I don't know their sex protection situation and honestly don't want to know 😂. He has been with his partner for 8 years, so I'm going to assume this was a slip up for them. I am in no way interested in this man. Hell no I don't want a guy who would even think to leave his pregnant long-term partner for another woman. I just understand as he reflected in his comments that there may not be many people who understand his position. I have just currently left the door open for the "r u ok" conversati…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 10:04 PM
1

Yes, and that would be my future conversations (if and when they happen). Yes it sucks he didn't want children, but his partner is going through pregnancy and he needs to be there to support her. I am very against men acting like fools during their partner's pregnancy and post as I've said further here https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/gmmw55/z/fr8a7gm
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 09:59 PM
1

Yeah 100%. I am definitely in no way interested - i do not play 2nd fiddle to another woman. I think it is for me drawing the line in the sand. I'm happy to have the occasional coffee catchup to see how he is doing - "r u ok" because this is a challenging time for him too. But as I've already said, he should seek professional help for anything serious, which I'd reiterate during future conversations again. I'm definitely someone who gets energised from helping others, but I also don't want to be…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 09:54 PM
10

I wonder if he would treat a work meeting the same? They know it's not appropriate, they just think they can get away with it with women
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 09:39 PM
19

Yeah, they dont realise nor care about wasting our time. They don't realise the amount of prep work for us ladies before a date, because they don't do it (these scraggly jeans and unwashed shirt will be ok). They don't give a fuck about our time, yet would completely understand that not attending an important meeting at work might be grounds for dismissal.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 09:36 PM
1

I love it how he says "all this while i was thinking I missed out on a good opportunity". Well the clown did - he missed out on a good opportunity to go on a date with you, see where things lead, and maybe have a meaningful relationship. Instead he's too short sighted to see the missed opportunity.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 09:39 AM
63

Yeah, I play some games and this would not fly with me. Imagine being so invested in a game that you feel the need to propose through it? Put this effort into the real world instead e.g. find a nice secluded place and do this with signs
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 09:35 AM
23

This was going to be mine too! If you have to overanalyse the texts, he's not worth it. Delete, block and move on from the clown giving you mixed signals
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 09:32 AM
3

Why the fuck would our governments waste time on this when there's actual issues to deal with? These men need to get out of their basements and go into the real world and try and make it a better place
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 08:26 AM
14

"You don't wanna risk your life for me? Waaaah" is all I read from this man baby
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 08:21 AM
25

I agree with the fundamentals of this post, but I also think we still need to have tact and manners. Let's not also lower ourselves to men's standards, we are queens.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 04:10 AM
51

I remember when I went on exchange I slept with this exchange guy from another country (back in my pickme days). This guy then proceeded to tell me I was ticked off the list, and now he'll try and sleep with my friends so he could get as many girls from my country (like it was pokemon). He literally told me "I'll try for Sarah next, and then Amanda". I blew up at him and said that's fucked up and wrong, you don't sleep with an ex's friends, even if it was just casual. Like you said, there's so m…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 03:32 AM
3

My thought is ok, what if he is an investment banker? Who says OPs career still doesn't outshine his? What else does he bring to the table? Guys think being successful at one thing means that all of a sudden they'll get handed a porn star. Meanwhile women have been outperforming men in personal growth for decades now and we bring a lot more "to the table", including successful careers, high selfcare standards, interesting hobbies, good family and friend relationships, well-travelled and educated…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/20 02:55 AM
4

I am big on dental hygiene. Apparently the bar is too high expecting my partner to be the same. Why is it that bar is too high when I expect the man to be my equal? I have a post graduate degree, make good money, save good money, dress well etc. Apparently expecting these things from men is too much. It's just so exasperating
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 10:06 PM
3

Yep, they just want to pass on their genetic line (ego centered) and actually have no interest in their kid. It's all to "leave a legacy" e.g. they don't want to face their fear of death just yet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 01:16 PM
2

I literally cringed when I read that. I'm glad everyone else in this thread is also the same.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 01:14 PM
8

"Try harder" lol to that guy. It's pregnancy, what happens to women's bodies isn't exactly under their control. I bet he's also one of these guys who think women are ferals that don't just hold in their periods.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 01:13 PM
3

Exactly what I was thinking. If she's tired, is he doing his fair share of the housework? Massages? Foreplay? Probably none of those things. Sounds like they've been together since teenagers, and she was potentially a bangmaid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 01:10 PM
3

Like I said though, dates don't have to cost a lot of money. What they do cost is time and energy, usually more than finding a bunch of flowers.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 12:29 PM
6

Sitting in the basement jerking off for hours of the day. When not, playing video games. Expecting his parents to pay his way through life. Actually giving no value to society - only being a drain on resources. Yes it would be terrible...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 10:37 AM
4

This is great advice. It's been mistake in the past. Thankyou
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 10:31 AM
8

I have a waterpik. I can tell from the amount of food that still comes out of my teeth even after using an electric toothbrush that flossing is not a sham. It is an absolute must for hygiene. Side note - everyone needs a waterpik
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 10:27 AM
4

My mum too, but she's self aware and realises why I don't want children after settling for a man-baby that I have to look after
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 10:23 AM
46

They'd go lower than 18 if they could sadly...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 10:18 AM
47

Love it when they treat OLD like you can order-a-ho off the menu
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 10:18 AM
33

I will definitely be stealing this. The amount of men who look like they've just crawled out of the gutter and are just LoOkInG fOr SoMeThInG cAsUaL...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 10:12 AM
20

Why would you even ask this rude question of your doctor? Because she wants to use her maiden name....duh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/05/20 08:41 AM
3

I hope it's an ex boyfriend. This is due to the fact that this ex could with his new gf (who is now his wife): buy her flowers (never got any bought for me) take her travelling across the world take her on real dates, like hot air balloon rides, dinners, beach adventures. They did more in their first 3 months of their relationship than we did in 4 years. However, I've noticed now that they have kids this has fallen all off and he's back to making no effort. He blames me for the breakup still, be…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 09:55 PM
22

I dated a guy for 4 years, we were poor and played video games as cheap entertainment. But still, he never thought of other cheap ways to be romantic (e.g. picnics, hiking, going to the beach). We never actually DID anything, except maybe go to the same cheap italian restuarant on our anniversary (i think it only happen for the first 2 years though). I will never again date someone who doesn't actually take me out on dates. 100% we accept the love we think we deserve, and I've realised I'm a dam…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/20 01:28 AM
2

Me too. I love it how it with that option says "[Name] would like to start a conversation with you". Like I literally just typed something to you which was a conversation starter.... I then start laughing thinking about how this would work in real life: I see a guy and say "hey, how's your night going" and the dude just blankly stares back. Then later the guy complains there's no girls who make the first move. Lesson learnt - thanks FDS.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 06:08 AM
2

My favourite is when you like a photo, and instead of them starting a conversation they just match. Expecting me to carry the conversation from the start is hard pass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 01:38 AM
19

Yes. It's a shame the police didn't put 2 and 2 together her and realise it was abduction and atrempted trafficking. Or maybe the cops are smarter than we think...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 01:23 AM
1

Yeah I'm just like "lol k manchild". Like what kind of mental gymnastics is this?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 01:08 AM
2

"You know, you don't need to yell at me. Geez you always want to pick a fight" - him to a woman when the woman debates her point of the argument with as much passion as he did
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 01:05 AM
53

If all they talk about is instagram and appearances, maybe she needs to go be friends with more mature-minded women who are career driven? She seems to be suffering from the 'cool girl' pickmeisha, she's trying to feel like she's different and better because she doesn't care about hair and makeup etc.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/05/20 12:16 AM
25

Thanks for not taking it the wrong way! It was honestly a lightbulb moment for me - I am so bad with softened, passive language, and I am trying to get better both for my professional and personal life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 02:34 PM
46

Don't you know? Women are supposed to be "the bigger person" all the time and forgive men for any mistakes they make in life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 02:23 PM
66

I'm not nitpicking your wording as I use 'happened' all the time, but saw this post and it's made me aware of how we soften our language https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/gnv91a/nothing_happened_to_me_a_man_did_something_to_me. Just sharing because it was honestly a bit jaw dropping for me that even society has taught me to soften language when I talk about abuse and rape by men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/05/20 02:20 PM
3

Glad to know they're not her kids...clean break like you said. I'm childfree so it's against my lifestyle to date anyone with children. But other women who want kids - I wonder if they see a guy who has kids with someone else as a red flag? Like the mother probably left this guy for this exact reason, he's just moved on to try it with another woman. He is clearly a narcissist. The proposal was all about him locking her cooking down, and making himself feel better. When a proposal should be "I'll…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/20 03:09 AM
21

Yep. I hate it how women are blamed because we don't ask for things. Men fail to realisen you're being an asshole if you need to be asked to demonstrate basic manners and human decency.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 11:37 AM
21

I can't believe he thought the answer was to propose after a fight. And she has kids with him? So the proposal was basically like a "please keep cooking for me" ring? Lol what a numpty
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 11:35 AM
2

NTA. Why didn't she just CoMmUnIcAtE with you that you were only supposed to take a portion? Ladies, stop expecting men to mindread! Why do women play these games? How will women ever expect to have a good relationship if you don't clearly say what you want from a man? NTA OP, you go eat that 10 mealsized lasagna and make her deal with the consequences from her LaCk Of CoMmUnIcAtIoN. /s obviously
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 11:20 AM
13

100% me too. People think I hate kids because I'm childfree. No - it's literally because I will never trust a man enough to put my life in his hands that I don't want kids. Being pregnant and having a child is the most vulnerable time for a woman. Men of my generation have proven they are completely selfish, think what OP posted, and abuse their pregnant or just-given-birth wives! And, if you manage to get through this, he'll dump you anyways because you "let yourself go" e.g. women's bodies go …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 11:11 AM
25

When I read that, I was like for real, she requested a sandwich? I'd be requesting 2 weeks worth of prepped food PLUS an expensive dinner date to make up for it. Girl unfortunately has probably had her spirit broken that much that she knows she's pushing it asking for a sandwich...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 10:55 AM
2

Yep. Slowly changing that inner criticism is hard. But when I hear it now I tell myself "no, I'm beautiful, smart etc.", and turn it around on the man must live up to expectations as well. It's easy to beat ourselves up over it, but after a lifetime of having people and the media telling us ladies all the ways we're not good enough, I think the small wins are pretty big! Holding men accountable to the same standards is the key I find.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/05/20 01:46 AM
4

Yep, I noticed today I'm walking differently as a result of this sub giving me confidence. I have poor posture after walking slouched since a teenager so I didn't appear so tall. Now idgaf, I will walk down the street being my beautiful tall 174cm self, towering and intimidating LVM who get butthurt of a woman of average height being "tall". Gotta hold my head high to balance my crown :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 01:46 PM
3

Read for your own city/country. It's HI-LAR-I-OUS. It's like they just read some stats and wrote a story. "Aussie woman would include blue-green eyes, plummy lips, suntanned skin tone which is quite natural and does not look fake or artificial at all, and their eye-catching physique with a curvy body and large breasts. " I guess being fair skin with brown eyes and skinny is not an aussie chick lol. This just seems like some AI written crap based on known stereotypes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 01:40 PM
14

LVM - Next!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 01:23 PM
4

"But she's so mature for her age, that's why she needs to date older men"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 01:19 PM
7

This is me too, I like all people have insecurities and they always have that voice in the back of my head whenever there's a hint of a date. I'd get nervous that they don't like me etc. But now I look back on those guys and wonder what I was thinking! They were fat, or bald, or boring, or unachieving in life in comparison to me. I've tricked my mind to instead criticise pick apart the guy so as to (a) not paint them as the perfect guy (helps me - as a pickme I would always romanticise the guy w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 01:15 PM
36

My sister has gold and emerald. Something she regrets in the design is that the setting is not raised up higher to let in some light, because the emerald looks fairly dark now. Just some food for thought if one day you want a gold and emerald ring! 😊
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 12:46 PM
2

Yeah I agree. It's like this scene https://youtu.be/epTlozbmC2c. Unless he's mountain climbing or hiking or whatever these outdoors types do where there is no phone reception, there's no reason for him not to remain in contact.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/20 09:45 AM
1

Yeah agree, everyone skips the fundamentals and that's why everyone needs government handouts in my country because they have no emergency fund! I definitely focus more on the FI part, which I believe aligns to FDS values. If you can pay your own way in life, you can choose to be picky because you don't HAVE to pick. Good luck with your strategy - it sounds sensible.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 10:55 PM
2

It made me "awwww" when you mentioned he was happy to take up the extra bills so you could support your doggo. That's a HVM! I'm more of a shares person myself, but in saying that FIRE is on hold so I can buy my first home to live in, because I'm tired of terrible landlords and constantly moving. I can't imagine being 60 or 70 and not having my own house. Then I'll either do debt recycling (australia tax trick) or just pay it off real quick/invest in shares depending on interest rates etc. I'm j…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 12:59 PM
3

Usually our mind doesn't make this stuff up, women's intuition is pretty switched onto when men are leering at us. Don't give him the opportunity to gaslight you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 12:51 PM
5

100% this. Any friends worth their weight will support you. If not, you're better off without them. OP you are not causing the rift in the friendship group, he did that when he leered and took inappropriate photos withour your consent. It has upset you enough to post on here, so clearly he did not have your permission. Do not remain quiet and uncomfortable about this for the sake of him. He should be the one being made to feel uncomfortable around your friends after being a sleazy pervert.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 12:49 PM
8

So he thought you needed help and without care, instead trashed with the typical "I'll show this lil lady how to do things" attitude. Sounds like he was trying to impress you. Which as per usual, the man did the exact opposite lol.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 12:25 PM
12

Inspiration! Peace is my key word for why I 'm won't lower my standards for LVM. They bring too much drama with them (funny, seeming they're the ones always complaining about it)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 07:16 AM
3

It sadly is. But I make sure to laugh of the comments and go "no I'm good thanks. I don't need to carry some loser through life" so I eventually chip away at these opinions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 04:38 AM
25

Even if this is the case, surely he's aware the rest of society, including his gf, get excited for their birthdays right?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 04:34 AM
45

Plus is it just the way I read it, but the tone is "ergh you woke/kept me up and now I've gotta go to sleep". Like blaming her in some way for having to go back to sleep?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 04:33 AM
1

I'm envious that you've found a guy who is a good match for you money wise. I think it's Peter Thornhill who says having a saver and a spender in a couple is relationship doom as the spender always ruins the savers efforts. Don't stress too much on adding months/years to your FIRE goal to enjoy today. In the end, yes RE is the goal, but having a shit life for 10 years really isn't worth it (to me anyways). I'm sure your doggo brings you a lot more value into your life than the money you have had…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 04:25 AM
2

I'm not sure it's all you tbh. I've been very clear for years to my family that I don't need a man, I don't want children, and I'm happy buying my own house and having a dog if it means not being with a loser. I still get the occasional pity and "need to find a man" comments. Society is just so conditioned to think women aren't worth anything without a man. I wouldn't say all of their comments are from what you're putting out there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 04:21 AM
1

Not sure if it's the same where you are, but interest rates are at an all time low. I'm the same as you where I'm debt averse (and aiming for my own house, then FIRE), but sometimes we need to spend money on life. Think if it like a financial diet - one night of a bad diet isn't too bad, but a year of it will hurt you. Plus, I'm sure spending the money on the doggo is well worth it :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 03:50 AM
2

I'm so jealous! In my current living arrangement there is not much space for me to do any hobbies. I went down a few rabbit holes during quarantine and now I want to: make my own bread (sourdough and baguettes) pottery cardboard toys for christmas decorations woodworking concrete pots and planters. Maybe it's for the best I don't have much space 😄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 03:46 AM
5

As I said in this comment here in another thread, I will forever be angry at some of my exes => https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/gkopvf/z/fqt69aq The thing is - I'm just angry at these exes, not all men. I look forward to the day I meet a HVM, fall in love etc. (if or when it happens). But for me, a lot of the FDS journey is accepting me for me, and being ok that I will forever not forgive this particular ex. And that's ok. Because the person I forgive is past-pickme for wo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 03:29 AM
2

I would say 1 year engaged. But getting married and having kids within a year (like a post I saw on FDS this week) is not good. Engagement is the man deciding he's ready for something long term, marriage and kids is the woman deciding for something long term.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 03:15 AM
1

How often are these activities? HVM have hobbies and interests. But if it takes up 100% of their time, and have no time to see you, I would think he doesn't want a relationship. If it's one day out of the weekend, this is fine. Go do some of your hobbies and stop being so available. I've fallen into this trap in past relationships where I want to be with the guy I'm seeing whenever I'm free. I come off as smothering, and I also miss out on doing the things I love.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 03:11 AM
5

Took over your gardening project? So you planted everything and this person gets the fruits of your labour? Sounds like normal where a man takes credit for something he didn't do
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 02:53 AM
2

https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/gkopvf/z/fqt69aq
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 02:47 AM
1

Kinda reminds of this scene from crazy, stupid love https://youtu.be/l77EEsMA1Qw. Maybe he watched this and realised it was ment to portray Steve Carrell as awkward? Conversations are a 2 way street, he needed to make more effort into it not being boring.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/05/20 01:01 AM
20

Why hold men accountable for their actions when we can blame other women for being too attractive? He just couldn't help putting heart reactions on her stories, men are such visual creatures and have no control over their behaviour. /s God damn some women need to learn some self-worth and kick these guys to the curb instead of seeing other women as the competition.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/20 03:21 PM
4

Me too. I was raised on FDS morals. My dad told me I could be anything and didn't need a man to validate me, and don't settle for trash (he kicked his absuive father out of the house when he was a teenager). I was slowly changed by the media in my early 20s to think I needed to be easy with men, the "cool girl". It was my last few relationships where I put out on the third date and it lasted less than 3 months that I thought "this isn't working". Now I've gone back to my original views that yes,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/20 04:10 AM
6

I like this. Unfortunately in my area the guys on OLD seem to not be able to string a sentence together on their bio, so how do you pick the ones who will be able to hold a conversation in real life?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/20 04:01 AM
7

Not everything needs to be about your married friends, if they take it personally it's on them.. You were talking about married people as a group are unhappy, and talking to a single person at that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/20 03:21 AM
14

Thank her for playing herself. She got the guy that's willing to dump his gf for the next best thing. Love it how these women think it's them because they're sooooo much better than other women, and not the shitty LVM who will "upgrade" his gf to a better model. (He didn't upgrade, she sounds pickmeisha and desperate af lol)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/20 01:54 AM
33

10 years and 2 kids? Oh lordy - at that stage is there any logical reason as to why he wouldn't marry aside from him wanting an easy out?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/20 01:50 AM
5

Exactly. If he really felt bad, he wouldn't pop his head back up and tell you all about it again! He'd just let you move on. Or he would've apologised well before 1.5 years went by and a global crisis was unfolding.... But nah, he's gotta pop his head back up to ruin your peace and make you relive the pain again. And the apology I've noted is never full acknowledgement of their treatment of you - they will skim over details, and also want you to acknowledge some part in the problem. Eg. it's my …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/05/20 01:47 AM
27

I'm someone who wears one-piece swimsuits to the beach because I don't like people seeing my body. Yet men think I'm going to get naked with them within the first couple of dates? There's all these things wrong with my body according to the media and men's comments on forums such as reddit, but at the same time I'm supposed to have endless confidence to get my kit off for a man who buys me a drink?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 12:24 PM
34

Ok, the following is a little bit of projection based on my exes who have popped their weasly heads up years later 😄: I do love how they pop in years later to "apologise" so they can get rid of any small bit of remorse they have. Nah mate, you don't deserve my forgiveness, especially when it takes you YEARS to address it. He doesn't give a fuck about you, he's either a) dying because he's not getting the attention from the workd he needs during this pandemic or b) he's thought about your relatio…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 12:14 PM
23

I threw up a little in my mouth when he said "call upon".
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 11:13 AM
35

Also - why are women like this? I had a chick interrupt my coffee "date" to hit on the guy I was with. She was soooo desperate. Pickmeishas will do anything to get a guy, acting like they are the last guy on earth and their "soulmate", and don't care who they hurt in the process (other women are the "competition"). I saw this woman the other day with 2 kids in tow, and I just know the guy I was having coffee with would hate to date a single mum. So she acted all desperate for what? A man she isn…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 11:11 AM
35

I know that this is metaphorical - but for real hell yeah I brunch and lunch by myself all the time (well before corona). The sad looks people give me like this poor girl has nobody to eat with. Psh, I have people I eat with, I just also have no problem being by myself with my own company and getting somebody else to make me pancakes. People are so damn scared of being alone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 11:04 AM
113

He's looking to upgrade her at the end of his residency 100%, if not already like you said. She was doing the build-a-bear method and now he's ready to go and find a "better" chick after she built his confidence up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 01:22 AM
6

Yeah, she's probably a catch but because she's still studying she's below him. Fast forward a few years when she's graduated and making money, and I bet this clown will be coming back to her saying how he regrets not dating her etc. They don't want to be there when you're working on yourself, only when you're the "finished product". Meanwhile, she's caughr fixing his mental state and being his emotional support after his break up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 01:14 AM
5

I literally remember before my last guy I dated, I was saying to my friend how at peace in my life I felt. Then this guy came in, and instead of improving and adding to my great life which is what I thought after the first few dates, he just added drama and treated me like crap. The peace was ruined by dating a LVM that was not good for me! I'm open to dating, but only a good man who will add good things to my life, rather than ruining my peace and what I've worked hard to build around me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 01:10 AM
9

Whilst most men go on reddit, not all men frequent dating subs. But I also think men in real life compartmentalize their behaviour: there's work behaviour, dating behaviour etc. So these men I see displaying great communication, emotional intelligence and ambition at work probably also think they can't(or moreso, won't) have these behaviours translate into the dating world. Because if you don't have strict performance standards in the dating world like they do at work, of course they're going to…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 01:05 AM
3

Can't have an opposing opinion on reddit, the karma system is literally designed this way. And for her jeans, may be a step up - I know for some of my exes who wore boardshorts or jorts aaaaall the damn time. But do I expect a step up for a fancy dinner? No - I expect my men to go all out like I do. This sub is not for every woman and that's ok. For example, some women actually enjoy sleeping with random guys with no commitment. But there's a lot of women that this doesn't work for them, and the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/05/20 12:52 AM
5

Also, I'm currently watching the movie Just Friends and the annoying, ditzy blonde character played by Anna Faris sets fire to the plane because she put aluminium foil in the microwave. Her to Ryan Reynolds "but I'm not supposed to worry about stuff like that, I'm the talent". Relevant much!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/20 03:04 PM
7

Lol, gl to her. Hope you enjoy being Neo dodging them bullets.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/20 02:59 PM
23

Was literally going to type "gee I didn't realise I was asking my 1.5 niece to pick up her toys". Stop babying grown men, they have a firm grasp on language at this stage in their development cycle. Also, why does it bother me so much when she taps her cheekbone for "hear"?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/20 02:54 PM
90

I love it how they think insulting a stranger within the first couple of sentences is appropriate behaviour.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/20 02:51 PM
7

Sounds like he needs to watch some cooking shows and better himself lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/20 02:39 PM
29

All of these attributes are literally required to be successful in the modern workplace (ok maybe not humour, but it definitely helps). Why the hell would I expect my partner to not be able to have these traits when I see so many men displaying them at my work everyday? Maybe it's a tough ask for the basement dwellers on reddit to have all these traits...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/20 02:31 PM
18

Your fault for not telling him? Why the fuck is it your responsibility? What a man child
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/20 01:53 PM
38

I stopped frequenting that sub when I asked about whether I should not have gotten mad at my friend for leaving me 15-20mins after I was sexually assaulted so she could hook up with a random guy on the dancefloor. 2xchromosones then proceeded to call me a crazy and soooo jealous of my friend who could pick up a guy. FDS goes way beyond dating strategy for me. You guys have made me realise that I do not need people in my life who don't respect me. I mean, what a great pickmeisha my friend was, di…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/05/20 01:50 PM
10

100% this. The times where it's been fantastic sex I roll over and fall asleep right away haha! Aint nothing clingy about it, unless it clearly was not enough...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 01:26 PM
6

Plus you know, women only a couple of generations ago were popping out endless amounts of babies due to them being against birth control. Large 7-10 kid families. If guys think that's a walk in the park instead of going to work, they're fucking kidding themselves. They can't even wash their bedsheets once a year...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 01:16 PM
8

Not only that, but the only cases I know nowadays of women stayimg home is after childbirth and in the early years of raising the kids. Women compromise their health being pregnant, giving birth and post-partum. If men had to deal with this plus breastfeed, sure they can stay home and "not clean". These examples from these men often undervalue the physical toll of pregnancy on women's bodies, and think having a newborn is just cruisetown.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 01:13 PM
25

Wait til you tell a man who feels this way that you don't want kids. Their mind fucking explodes because that's only what they view women as - baby making machines. We have no other purpose in life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 01:03 PM
38

I'm childfree too. My sister had a baby a year and a half ago and was on some online mum forums. The amount of men who in the last trimester told their wives "they're no longer attracted to them" was sadly laughable it was so pathetic. I think it was about 30% of the women on the forums were having marital problems. Then if you make it through your pregnancy without your partner trying to divorce you because "you're fat", the next hurdle is having a man baby at home like the one in OPs story. Oh…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 01:00 PM
24

I love it how his opinion is the only one that matters in the relationship. 100% leading to an abusive, controlling relationship now a kid is in the picture and it's harder for her to leave. I would straight up be kicking him in the nuts everytime I got bitten going "gee, it's not that bad, why don't you try harder to not feel the pain". This post has made me so mad after knowing how much shit women go through to breastfeed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/05/20 12:50 PM
8

They literally don't know how to make love to a woman anymore. No foreplay but wanna go straight to pounding the ass the first time together. Like whaaaat? We're human beings not robots guys.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 12:00 PM
2

I'm not into casual hookups because I don't feel safe and they don't meet my needs anyways. I want to connect with someone and feel cared for and loved, not treated like a sex toy. Male friends seem to not get this because....well, they're not women. I'm sure what you're craving won't get satisfied from a casual hookup. 100% go to therapy - I need to as well because I can sometimes still feel mad about how a LVM ex treated me - and that was 10 years ago! But I think that sometimes it's ok for us…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 11:53 AM
9

Me too. Killing it at life the way I want to instead. If a HVM happens to cross paths with me, I'm open to it. But I'm not going to spend my limited time on this earth searching for a man, wading through a sea of LVM. I have better things to do with my time and energy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 08:13 AM
10

Whenever I see what was posted by OP I immediately think "this guy is trying to drink spike her". Fuck being friendly - women being concerned about "not being a nice girl" like we're conditioned to can get us into really unsafe situations.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 07:58 AM
62

But a lot of women get trapped in DV due to having children in a relationship. Both of Cassie's relationships are extremes, neither is good. You should only be having children with a man after knowing them for a while to find out who they actually are.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 07:46 AM
105

Yes - how is this getting upvoted? Did they get engaged just because she got pregnant. 1 year ia definitely not enough time to know if this man will be a supportive father
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 07:44 AM
10

Always the way I've practiced it, even in a 4 year long term relationship. If you're not ready for a baby, you're not ready to just rely on one form of BC
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 07:39 AM
3

Maybe you need to be ok with the fact that we don't get everything we want in life? Sacrifices on being physically close to someone constantly need to be made to allow ourselves to "be free" for when the right person comes along. Personally I would much rather miss out on cuddles and sleep in my own bed at night than potentially miss out on a great man if/when he comes along. Casual hookups don't do it for me because it's the connection I miss of someone caring for me. I wanted someone to be her…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 07:21 AM
3

Lol, the fragile ego is fragile. This is why I don't waste time on men now unless they appear to be HVM and mentally stable (thanks FDS). I don't like this drama they bring
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/05/20 07:11 AM
35

I'm sure if we started yelling "yeah you small dicked man who will amount to nothing" during sex, these guys wouldn't be ok with it. But they think we'll get all hot for being called a slut and a whore?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 03:30 PM
10

Blergh. Send screenshot to wife (if safe for you) and block him? Get away from this negative energy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 03:26 PM
9

"Formalties" Damn right I want formalities. And by formalities I mean sending a handwritten parchment letter sealed with your family crest, couriered by horse carriage, where you will await months for my reply. And by then you may have died from the plague.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 03:25 PM
13

I'm literally so confused lol. Why would you even mention your mum and sex in the same sentence on a dating app lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 03:16 PM
2

Yep. Their patheticness is such a turnoff. The desperation ergh...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 03:15 PM
14

It's hard on his dick but he's just gotten married??? She's already been convinced they need to "spice things up" and have an open marriage? Well done on not engaging, these types of men are really struggling without getting their AtTenTiOn NeEdS
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 03:13 PM
3

Yep, her talking about a specific group of men who catcall: Bf: "BuT nOt AlL mEn" to make himself feel not attacked for some reason I wonder why he self-identified with the group she referenced? Also, why when we talk about our issues do we need to be so specific. E.g. a lady was murdered near me a couple of weeks ago by her partner bludgeoning her with a sledgehammer. I got the "NoT aLl MeN" argument when I said domestic violence needs to stop in our country. Ok - next time I'll say "men who ar…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 03:09 PM
11

Honestly it's the thing I hate most about lockdown. I get them anyways when I'm in a relationship for chronic pain. A HVM test for me in the future will be if he gives me a neck and shoulder massage when I'm in a massive amount of pain with no return expectation...e.g. massage =/= sex...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 01:16 PM
12

Like anything - the longer you don't have it the easier it gets. Like I said, go get a massage, it might help with physical touch. The cuddles are the best part of a relationship. But all the other shit that comes with a guy that's wrong for you isn't worth those cuddles...I prefer to be at peace whilst having massages which help with chronic pain
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 01:13 PM
16

Go get a massage. Non sexual, but if it really is physical touch your missing. Plus it help the body physically and mental health!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 01:07 PM
15

It was more of a rhetorical question. But we all know there's a certain types of men out there who think women should be ashamed of using vibrators.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 01:01 PM
55

Isn't them crying "you're kink shaming me" when they are being the abuser basically DARVO: a manipulation tactic to make themselves appear the victim? They don't care if they're hurting the woman with their kink, it's all about them living out their fantasies from whatever porn their watching (which they're yet to realise isn't real...)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 12:58 PM
51

Plus the fact that when they "start talking dirty" with abusive terms like slut, it just sounds like some fake porn shit. Which is more hilariously pathetic than sexy. It sounds so out of place it actually throws me out of being in the moment, so it's more of a turnoff and any natural momentum is gone. But these guys are too busy trying to live out their porn fantasies than have a real experience...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 12:47 PM
20

What kind of person even makes the effort to text this? Just move on...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/20 12:38 PM
1

"Sneering" = just our normal face going about our normal lives not even thinking about them. They expect us to have a smile plastered on our face 24/7
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 11:49 AM
2

This is so great, I'm stealing it
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 11:40 AM
5

It's almost as if some men want to control women and silence their voices...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 11:24 AM
9

Several times a day? Sounds like he needs to get a job or do some housework...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 09:47 AM
6

Hell yeah - here on OLD guys tall about going fishing all weekend. I don't swipe on these guys because how the hell are you not doing anything else on the weekend? E.g. washing, groceries, shopping, visiting friends and family, house maintenance etc. I just assume they live in a pigsty and order takeaway, and if they've been in a relationship it's the mommy gf doing all the work.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 09:43 AM
1

WTFs with all the spitting! I get pissed off enough when I see so many women making an effort to move as far away from me as possible when walking (staying close to the wall/edge of footpath). Of course men think social distancing doesn't apply and stroll right in the middle of the footpath.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 09:40 AM
8

I love it how LVM just escalate everything as far as they can to get to the end goal (sex). There's no such thing as having a nice first date getting to know you. Like dude, I don't know you. I wouldn't let you into my house, so why would I let you into my body?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/20 09:34 AM
5

Yep. But in a different way. I dated him 10 years ago for 4 years. It was messy because we were so young, and we were both toxic for each other. He was very controlling, including financial abuse. We remained friends after, I've seen him get married amd have 2 beautiful girls. Then he becomes the auditor at my work. He should the declare the conflict of interest to his boss, but I'm sure it's more of a "we are friends" rather than "we fucked for 4 years" kinda declaration. Anyways, I am being tr…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/05/20 01:10 PM
55

Exactly - he only wanted a conversation so he could verbally abuse her, and feel like he has the power and has "won". This guy deserves the silent and blocked treatment
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/20 06:41 AM
1

That's what I don't get - I linked in one of my posts that 1 in 5 women have experienced sexual violence. Whilst stats rise in certain groups, and are lower in others, this generally would mean that most men would know a man that has been a perpetrator of sexual violence. The problem is that these men don't always go about bragging of what they've done (or know it's wrong e.g. Brock Turner). So you have a bunch of women saying "I've experienced sexual assault, it's more common than you think" wi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/20 12:55 AM
2

"Oh so you're a feminist" = bye LVM. Because standing up for women to live safely in society is absolutely ridiculous.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/20 12:47 AM
6

Or they take it is a personal attack on them or the men in their lives. And funnily enough, generally they know LVM who have abused their wives (physically, emotionally, financially or otherwise). For example, my brother-in-law who argues "not all men" and "why does it always have to be men vs women", his father cheated on his mother and abused her, then tried to leave her with nothing (not even the house) when she had to look after the 3 children. She didn't get much in the divorce as he hid as…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/05/20 12:21 AM
23

Yes - I am vocal about the fact that domestic (and all) violence against women needs to stop. It so bad in our country that our government recognises it as a problem and puts together special taskforces. I've known women who have worked on these teams. My sister and brother-in-law love to checkmate when I talk about this stuff with "but not all men" and "men also experience domestic violence from women". For example, a lady this week who lived in my suburb was murdered by her partner by him blud…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/05/20 05:33 AM
5

This screams fake male account, or LVW. If he doesn't treat you well, break up and walk away.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/20 01:38 PM
2

Me too - i just found out I was this attachment style last night and it all made sense! Do yoy have any useful resources you can recommend?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/20 01:34 PM
4

What kind of father doesn't immediately jump to defending his daughter after she's been choked? Agree she needs to get away from both
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/20 02:07 PM
11

I love it when they argue "BuT mEn ArE ViSuAl CrEaTuReS". So is anything who has been blessed with the ability to see due to having eyes. Funnily enough, women are also visual creatures, we just know it's fucking rude and disrespectful to make others (including our date) uncomfortable from staring at someone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/20 01:57 PM
1

I really wish the men in my life would understand that when I say this it is not a personal attack. Even though my brother-in-law (who I consider a HVM) knows a lot of what I've gone through with ex-partners and men in general, he still finds it hard to understand that most men don't think the way he does. Most men are unfortunately LVM who want a bangmaid, who they can abuse and take advantage of. I would much rather live a peaceful single life than be treated like I am below a man.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/20 10:19 AM
8

Literally everytime I have been grabbed inappropriately in public, it's women helping me stand up to the guy. The other guys around act like I'm "being dramatic" or drunk. They just dismiss our opinions and feelings as hysteria based on their misogynistic values.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/20 12:27 PM
4

Thank you for introducing me to "future-faked". This has happened to me numerous times: Guy visited me in my country and convinced me he wanted a future. I worked hard to ger a scholarship in his country where I found out he was a 23 year old man sleeping with a 16 year old high school girl Last bf unprompted started talking about how he can't wait to go Hawaii with me. This was 2 weeks into dating. Pickmeisha me would always buy into it, and feel like a fool after for being "tricked". I'm happy…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/04/20 10:41 AM
41

"They wouldn't have hurt you". Oh, I guess the guy you were talking to knew the SUV guys on a personal level to be able to make that assumption...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/20 03:37 AM
29

Because these women don't take responsibility for their lives. Instead of raising their standards and kicking these LVM to the curb, they accept the behaviour and whinge about it to anyone who'll listen. I have little compassion for this whinging because I feel like it makes all women's lives harder when pickmeishas set their standards so low. If anything, this pandemic has taught me people need to grow up and take responsibility for themselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/20 10:02 PM
88

Even if the (ex) bf is not dating other women, why does he think it's appropriate to basically leave you on read? I can't stand a lack of communication in a relationship, and I see this shit as him playing immature games to "make you crazy and want him more". No mate, it just makes me crazy mad to dump your ass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/03/20 09:52 PM
12

I can't help but laugh at some (not all) of these situations for pickmeishas. Pickmeishas raced off to marry the first guy to "win", then act like they're "beating" us at life because we're single? Please, get a grip pickmeishas, marrying these lazy-ass LVM is the opposite of winning...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 12:42 PM
5

It's again placing the onus obe women to manage the relationship. Maybe these guys could grow up and take responsibility for their actions?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/03/20 12:36 PM
24

Why don't men expect more from their male friends is my question? I had a LVW friend who I cutoff due to toxicity last year. Why can't men take the same ownership? If you're not getting what you need from your support network (a) communicate it to family and friends and (b) get new family and friends if it's not enough. Why is it ALWAYS up to others to do their life admin?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 01:31 PM
33

Yeah, I also saw that thread and thought about this sub. Top comments are they have no emotional support. They were complaining they had surrounded themselves by LVM who didn't care to support their lives. Funny thing is, we choose our social circle and who we hang out with. For example, my bro-in-law is HVM and has no problem discussing issues with a male friend (they're both dads of girls under 2, wives going through post-natal depression). They have no problem getting emotional, as they see i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/20 10:58 AM
3

So many stories of women in abusive relationships who are not able to leave due to a lack of funds. Also, in my country, a lot of women are not paid into their retirement account whilst taking maternity leave and thus have less money in retirement. 1000% ok just based on these 2 issues alone.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 10:12 AM
16

This is why so many of them are divorced at 30 with kids under 5, looking for a new woman on OLD. Disgusting they don't view the mother's of their children as people who want something from their lives...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/03/20 10:06 AM
11

I'm the same too, where I was slways taught the first date should be something you can shorten as it would be rude to leave halfwsy through a mesl. However, I've seen ladies on here having no problem shortening a dinner date if the guys is rude or crosses the line. This is how I would play it if I date again - you're not being rude if the man was in the first place.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 11:42 PM
5

Lol what a ridiculous way if trying to make you jealous "I'll make her think about me having STDs, she'll for sure want me back then!"
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 08:26 AM
33

Yeah, I hate it how they act like women shouldn't be looking for dates on something that is called ONLINE DATING.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/02/20 08:22 AM
10

I had an ex that did this, even used a fleshlight whilst making his "oh" faces at me. I'd say it turned me off more, and honestly was just gross when I was not wanting to participate. I know our sex life was impacted because I'd subconsciously tie that feeling of disgustedness to sex, and our relationship was doomed because of it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 10:43 PM
3

32 and childfree as well! Do you find the dating pool is either (a) guys who got married too young, had their wife pop out a couple of kids, and now that she's older they're trying to get and upgrade or (b) peter pan boys who never grew up (generally older too who are trying to get 20 year old women as well)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 11:22 AM
63

He probably mentions it because she normally does that too...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 08:54 AM
6

The train scene! I catch the train to work everyday and the amount of women I see squeezed up so a man can take up half of the women's seat is astonishing. These guys also like to text like they're doing the chicken dance, elbowing you in the side the whole journey. Women need to refuse to crumple themselves up for these guys - I used to and I'd be in a bunch of back and hip pain from it at the end of my journey (hour and a half each way)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/02/20 02:44 AM
84

So your aunt had children as an excuse to not work/study, but also had no interest in raising the children? What a useless human being...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/20 04:46 AM
1

Richie was like the process of vetting on here. On the first season, he seemed funny and dorky, but charming. We only saw him on a few dates. Then he got his own season and oh man. I think we all collectively realised how one dimensional he was. The of course he chose the hottest chick there, and not the best match for him...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 12:23 PM
5

Vanessa Sunshine? Love her
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 12:07 PM
4

I would live for this show. LVM getting called out and women collectively all realising it wasn't them bring "dramatic", it was him! I would love to share my lessons learned about some of my exes...
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 12:05 PM
5

Snez or laura? This post made me think about the Richie season and honey badger season, where some were not into the guy but stayed for instafame
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/20 12:01 PM
6

My brother-in-laws mum is a good lesson to learn from. She was married with 3 kids. Her husband made good money, but instead of the husband spending it on the family, he went out boating every weekend. He ended up cheating on her with a lady from work, leaving the bro in law's mum and fucking her over financially in the process. He even tried getting the house from her with her raising 3 kids. He gave 0 shits about the wellbeing of anyone in that family. Now that man is living a rich retirement …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/20 09:48 PM
10

Or ya know, men could act like grown adults that have the emotional intelligence to express their feelings in a non-violent way?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/20 10:04 AM
5

If you're interested, look up the Aussie Firebug, there are some useful financial resources there. I particularly liked his podcast with Peter Thornhill on debt recycling. Superannuation is good, but we can't access it any time soon, so I'm be looking to grow assets outside (buy my home then recycle my mortgage into tax deductible debt for buying shares/etfs)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/20 09:53 AM
22

From a 32 year old, please please please start now! Download a compound interest calculator and just see the value of putting away $1k each year vs $10k in 10 years. Read more here .
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/20 09:40 AM
27

I'm so angry at myself for wasting my 20s chasing LVM instead of focussing on my financial situation. I'm getting it in order, but that snowball would be much bigger if I'd started in my early 20s. It's a lesson for all women to learn before graduating high school which unfortunately is not taught (and gee I wonder why...)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/02/20 09:35 AM
18

I was flicking through Hinge amd came across something in a guys profile that I found funny/relatable. I asked him a question about it. Instead of replying, he responded with the "start a conversation" feature. Like tf, if you want a conversation respond to the question you numpty. Don't expect me to carry the conversation - guess he showed is dead weight early on so I could vet him. Unfortunately I find the start a conversation feature is used 99% of the time - at least you know if they can't b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 09:26 PM
4

This is me too! I was a major pickmeisha and even moved countries for him. Little did I know he was with a 16 year old when he was 24. He didn't even have the guts to tell me - just ignored me and refused to see me once I moved there. He got her pregnant a year later when she was 17- I feel sorry for her being stuck with such a crappy LVM. As far as I'm aware from mutual friends, they're still living in his parents house. She calls him 'husband', but they're not married even after 2 kids. As I a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/20 08:40 AM
17

Yep - childfree because of this. I don't love children enough to make myself so vunerable and reliant on potentially a LVM. Unfortunately, you could think someone's HVM, but you can't hand back a child if you discover otherwise... Having children by myself would be a prison sentence for me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/20 11:51 AM
7

He fucked around with your time, acting like it was less valuable than his e.g. wait in the car til he's done smoking, just hang around your house until he's done playing board games. See my other comment which is why this is absolutely unacceptable when you compare it to other situations in life such as work (5hours late to a meeting =, not acceptable) https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/efuovz/z/fc2kvc5
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/01/20 08:43 AM
3

I get anxious early on in dating. Just take it slow, at the pace you want it to be. If he can't respect your boundaries, he's not worth it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/20 09:26 AM
6

Geez, such cowards....they really can't handle it when we stand up and fight back right?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/20 12:18 AM
26

Their perception of themselves and what they are entitled to is out of this world...If I could have an ounce of mediocre men confidence... Btw you sound like a boss :). Keep on killin it lady!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/01/20 10:47 AM
2

Dead fish are a trend here too. And I hate seafood so it puts me off even more :). I just don't get why all the fish....
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/19 08:42 AM
3

Australian?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/19 12:21 PM
9

I have bad posture I've been working on from being made to feel bad/made run of for (a) being tall and (b) having boobs. I'm not even that tall (174cm or 5'8"?), but comparative to the women in my family, I'm a "giant". Had an ex who was the exact same height and told me he didn't like me wearing heels because he felt emasculated, so I stopped. Fuck if I let a guy ever again tell me to not wear something again due to his insecurities.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/19 09:03 PM
2

Definitely also me. Square up and death stare.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/19 08:57 PM
8

I agree - I've found this sub in the last few weeks and finally feel a sense of community online with other women. No longer do I feel guilty about being picky before I sleep with a man, let him into my life and subsequently cause havoc by lacking basic emotional intelligence to treat me like another human being. I am a firm believer of there being nothing wrong with being single until you meet the right person, so it's nice meeting like minded people who don't seem hellbent on jumping from one …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/19 12:07 PM
122

I've found this year whilst coaching myself and girlfriends through ghosting situations, that it helps to compare these situations to our worklives. For example: Would a guy not respond to a high value client's email for over a week because he "just didn't feel up to it"? No he wouldn't. So why the fuck would he not treat me, the girl he is supposed to be pursuing, as a similar "high value" to his life? And furthermore, why would I, as a high value client, put up with a lack of communication for…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/19 01:00 PM
74

As a female, I'm sorry this is your experience :(. Some of us believe in equal rights, and not rights skewed to our gender.
/r/MensRights11/01/13 04:39 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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