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[–]freerollerskatesFDS Newbie57 points58 points59 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
When my divorce comes through I'm changing my name. My birth name is anglicised Eastern European, and it's a bit weird so I'm not going back to that as ordering pizzas and taxis has been much easier in my married name. I'm going to use my grandmother's maiden name, which is quite simple to spell, but also is a fresh start. My grandmother is very inspiring to me, as she emigrated from Ireland after being widowed, stood up to her in laws that tried to take her husband's business from her and made a new life for herself. That's what I'm gonna do. If I get married again in the future (a BIG if) I'm going to keep the name that I've chosen to myself, and if my theoretical fiancé doesn't like it, then he can just jog on.
[–]categoricallyqueenFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I've always wanted to take my grandmother's maiden name! That's so cool that you're going to get a fresh start.
[–]BovvsetteFDS Disciple76 points77 points78 points 6 years ago* (17 children) | Copy Link
Honestly taking a man's surname and giving it to kids as well seems stupid in a world where women do majority of work in a relationship and childrearing. He didn't do anything to earn it. Men just claim women and children as their property and put his surname stamps on them for no reason. Is that an attempt to remind him that this is his new family and that he should actually try and care about them, or what? Not to mention women being judged for marital status with all the ”Miss, Mrs., Ms.” garbage. Why does a woman's relationship with a man status matter so much, but his with a woman is not important and he gets a universal ”Mr.”?
[–]cloeedFDS Newbie35 points36 points37 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I’ve always been uncomfortable with the idea of simply abandoning the name you’ve had your whole life and which relates to your ancestry for a man’s. All this just for the sake of tradition? I might take the man’s name in addition to mine but only if he agrees to take mine too! It’s like men who refuse to wear a wedding ring but get pissed off when their wife doesn’t wear hers.
[–][deleted] 30 points31 points32 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
My family survived a genocide and there aren't a lot of people with my surname left. Like hell am I giving it up.
[–]cloeedFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
100%!!
[–]outside-perceptionFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
[–]Unable_CaterpillarFDS Disciple31 points32 points33 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I’m a Dr. (of philosophy!) and I am SO sick of being called Miss/Mrs. Ms is better, but of course I would prefer Dr. Why the hell in the year of our Lord 2020 are we still referring to women’s marital status in what we call them?!
[–]msromperstomperFDS Apprentice25 points26 points27 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Also a Dr. I tell my students on the first day of class every semester that I respond to "Dr." and "Dr." and then go on to say "I hope that if you worked hard to earn 3 degrees, you too would insist on being referred to as 'Dr.'" Sets the tone for the rest of the semester. Like hell I'd give up my name.
[–]freerollerskatesFDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
In Germany everyone is Frau. They only use Fraulein for little girls, like how we would use "master" for little boys.
[–]delawenFDS Newbie22 points23 points24 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Coming from Spain, I have to tell that this is one of the most disturbing traditions from English speaking countries.
I mean, if you choose a completely new family name for the family, that's still weird to me but fine. I don't see why anyone would have to share a surname to be a family.
But having to accommodate to your husband's name? Nonsense. I am still me, married or not. No one can take that from me.
[–]xx_powerFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah if I do decide to marry I will keep my name. I already found that gross when I was a kid myself, we're not a man's property.
[+][deleted] 6 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]sososoniaFDS Newbie9 points10 points11 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Got my surname from my mother's side. She was a pickmeisha, but she at least did one thing right.
[–]cherthemusical 8 points9 points10 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Disagree with this. How come a man's name is his, but a woman's name is her fathers? When you are born with a name it becomes a your name, a womans name. Otherwise how do we not know our fathers last name came from his great great great grandma and it is really a womans name originally?
[+][deleted] 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]cherthemusical 4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
But once again, how come you are speaking as if the fathers name is HIS and when he passes it down he is passing down HIS name, but the grandmas name is her FATHERS and when she gives passes it down she is passing down her FATHERS name?
[+][deleted] 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]cherthemusical 5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I'm not asking you to argue with me, i am just questioning your mindset and am hoping you see things in a less patriarchal view as you haven't gave a single reason for why you think women can't own their own names but men can.
[–]just_takin_the_dFDS Apprentice19 points20 points21 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Why would you even ask this rude question of your doctor? Because she wants to use her maiden name....duh.
[–]jimmbiePickmeisha™️6 points7 points8 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My mom's name is legally [Maiden]-[Married], but she still practices under her maiden name for the same reason. She's an impressive lady.
[–]0kfornowFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Excellent.
[–]hotlemonz2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
In Vietnamese culture females never take their husbands name. My mother always said it is because a man can never own you, and that your name references your royal heritage.
I’ve met so many European scrotes that are surprised by this cultural phenomenon. I will never think Colonization is sexy. 🤮🤮
[–]NovemberinthechairFDS Apprentice1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
❤❤❤❤
[–]ferociosaFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
so she practices with her father's name instead.
i'm thinking of changing my name to something completely random to break the cycle before i get my phd.
[–]rinabeanFDS Disciple-1 points0 points1 point 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
No-one has ever described a man as "using his father's name instead". I don't tolerate being described that way either. I'm using my own name.
If it's my father's name, it's actually not, because it's his father's name... except it's not actually his, it's his father's name, and so on to absurdity. It's the same with me - it's my name, it's the one on my birth certificate and the one everyone has always called me by.
If I had taken my husband's name, it would be his name I was taking. Again, not my father-in-law's, not his father's...
I hate my father, but my name is my name. I don't like looking like him either, but my face is my face.
[–]ferociosaFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
you're misconstruing the sentiment
my anger is with wider western christian patrilineal naming traditions, taking your husband's name is part of that but imo so is accepting your father's name
it's not the way it has to be
[–]rinabeanFDS Disciple-1 points0 points1 point 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
But if we have hereditary surnames it's going to be the surname of one or both of your parents. If it's your mother's or your father's or both's, it is now also yours.
I didn't "accept my father's name" and neither did you, those are our names. No less ours than theirs. This naming system isn't restricted to western christian countries btw, and it can't be fought anywhere by claiming that only men really have their own names! That idea is why women take their husband's names (their husband's names, as you said, not their father-in-law's names, not the name of the bloke 500 years ago who they supposedly descend from).
No-one would tell an adult man to refuse his father's name or even suggest that he had accepted it, because everyone sees him as a real human being with his own name. You have fully internalised the idea that women don't truly have surnames. It's the same as the screenshot - the same acceptance of women having to change their names from their false placeholder birth name to something else, anything else, unlike men who are real people born with real names they'll be born with and die with. It doesn't matter why women are changing their names if they are doing it more than men, it still reflects that women's names are not being taken seriously - which means that women are not being taken seriously. This isn't the way it has to be! I want us to respect women's names like we respect men's names.
[–]ferociosaFDS Newbie-1 points0 points1 point 6 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Ur getting big mad about this and I didn't read that wall of text to be honest, but I get the sense we're both pro woman with different opinions which is fine. I prefer Scandinavian naming trads personally where hereditary names are a blend of the mother's and father's - there's not one way to do it
[–]NewGirl_WhoDis -2 points-1 points0 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My children can take my husband's last name but I'm definitely keeping mine. I'm not even going to hyphenate my last name and his. We can be called "the *his last name* family" or Mr and Mrs *his last name* but the name on all my official documents and records remain mine.
[–]UnwantedRelishMan -1 points0 points1 point 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
In my option these put options are rather dangerous long term. For now I’d switch to covered calls. Join theta gang and take advantage of the sideways market. There is little upside so I wouldn’t venture into calls. If you have them hold onto them for sure.
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[–]freerollerskatesFDS Newbie57 points58 points59 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]categoricallyqueenFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]BovvsetteFDS Disciple76 points77 points78 points (17 children) | Copy Link
[–]cloeedFDS Newbie35 points36 points37 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 30 points31 points32 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]cloeedFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]outside-perceptionFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Unable_CaterpillarFDS Disciple31 points32 points33 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]msromperstomperFDS Apprentice25 points26 points27 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]freerollerskatesFDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]delawenFDS Newbie22 points23 points24 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]xx_powerFDS Newbie8 points9 points10 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (7 children) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]sososoniaFDS Newbie9 points10 points11 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]cherthemusical 8 points9 points10 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (3 children) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]cherthemusical 4 points5 points6 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]cherthemusical 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]just_takin_the_dFDS Apprentice19 points20 points21 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]jimmbiePickmeisha™️6 points7 points8 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]0kfornowFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]hotlemonz2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]NovemberinthechairFDS Apprentice1 point2 points3 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]ferociosaFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]rinabeanFDS Disciple-1 points0 points1 point (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]ferociosaFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]rinabeanFDS Disciple-1 points0 points1 point (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]ferociosaFDS Newbie-1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]NewGirl_WhoDis -2 points-1 points0 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]UnwantedRelishMan -1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link