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Cheb44 Archive

View 22 posts and 214 comments by Cheb44 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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4

It sounds terrible, because it isn’t how good men’s brains are wired, but you need to learn to resent her if not more. Be cordial and all that, play the “gray rock” approach. But the quicker you can cut the love you have for her out the better. Like I said it sounds awful and it is a callous approach, but she’s already there man, that’s why she can do what she’s doing. I was married 23 years, really never even lived by myself. So it was quite shocking. But, I’ve learned to embrace my current sit…
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 06:27 PM
12

Fuck her dude, as others have said, she’s done. Don’t do what I did and “work things out” only to have the same shit happen a few years later. Literally she better prepared herself to turn the kids against me. She’s cut me, my parents, anyone from my side of the family out of her and my kids life. Prolonged custody crap, but the damage is done. I’ve become resigned to the fact I may never see my kids again. I could go on and on
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/25 06:16 PM
8

I agree with this, if she’s not she’s already got one lined up. Women are nuts, I could go on and on about why, but there’s good reading here and I recovered myself partially from support and reading advice here. We’ve all been through some kind of hell. I suggest you tackle yours now, try to separate the emotions you have for her, that is clearly what she has done, then it will be easier for you to hear her words for the disrespect that they are.
/r/Divorce_Men19/12/25 01:58 PM
11

Well, I wish I didn’t know what you’re dealing with. It sucks. For myself, it turned out for the best, I had no idea how low my self confidence was. Now, it’s back and I’ve been fortunate to be in a position where a lot of women are chasing me and it feels good, move on work on yourself all that nonsense and things will be fine
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/24 08:45 PM
4

OP, I wanna just add to this. This man’s advice is going to make you feel certain ways. Like he’s wrong or that he’s bitter and your situation is different. I am telling you it isn’t. Maybe you weren’t perfect, but dude, cheating for 2 years is fucked up diabolical BS. And for my side, my situation is way worse and there are guys with situations worse than mine. That’s beside the point though, the best thing I did was get my own shit back together and suddenly I realized my own worth again. Time…
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/24 03:18 AM
3

lol right, we all seem to be dealing with the same woman haha
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/24 02:24 PM
0

lol as much as this seems dumb, it’s so true. No oral, something is wrong. It’s also very true that we have to keep doing those things that keep their attraction up.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/24 02:22 PM
1

Of the 6 people on my leadership team, 4 divorced 1 unmarried 1 married. My 2 admin, 1 unmarried 1 divorced. Doesn’t look good for the educated people who surround me
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/24 12:50 PM
12

Damn gives me hope. On month 9 of not seeing them
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/24 11:23 PM
1

How long you guys been apart? Or did you get to that point at all?
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/24 02:26 AM
8

Oh man I think everyone here lol. It was nuts, and really sad.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/24 03:06 AM
6

So as you can see there are a large swath of answers here, but I will give my 2 cents. Several months after I would not have been even close. I’m 9 months in and am talking with someone. It does still feel super weird at times and at times emotionally difficult. Those are some of the negatives. On the positive, with the right person it’s nice to have some companionship. I’m having a particularly difficult time with issues regarding my children, so it’s nice to have a person there to distract fro…
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/24 06:13 PM
2

I recently seen a Facebook post that said something along the lines of “a narcissist will suddenly become a better parent as a last means of control”. I read that and thought is that what I am doing? I don’t think so, I think I just seen where I was failing as a father and wanted to step it up. Was there hope that my improving would “fix” things, of course, but I’m past that line of thinking. Now I just want to see my kids again, she can go kick rocks.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/24 05:13 PM
9

I wish mine was crazier. She’s nuts but she is following her own set of rules. I’ve made mistakes and she’s definitely jumped on those. I’m also dealing with parental alienation. I feel like I’m constantly in between “am I the problem?” and “I can’t believe she thinks this is okay”
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/24 05:09 PM
2

How did you meet?
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/24 02:48 AM
1

How did you meet?
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/24 02:47 AM
5

I’m a psychopath narcissist
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/24 03:48 AM
9

I feel like my experience was similar but more focused on me talking about our struggles. Either way, you may come out of this and realize a lot of those issues go away when she goes away. It will take awhile, then you start to notice, “damn I feel less depressed” or less anxious.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/24 12:16 PM
6

I’m in a similar situation. All I can tell you is it’s like driving a car. Don’t look right in front of you, look further out see where you want to be in 1, 5, 10 years and start doing what you need to do to make it happen. The more you focus on right now right in front of you the harder it is to “drive”. You can’t remove the things causing the pain and they will still be there but you can lessen the affect with focus.
/r/Divorce_Men24/05/24 04:12 AM
1

This helped thanks
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/24 02:23 AM
2

I know we’ve discussed it before, but for OP, it’s nuts and you aren’t alone. I was getting better till spring really hit, and now seeing all the families around is rough. Just keep telling yourself that something better is around the corner, because it probably is. I refuse to believe that life discards good people, we do have to keep our eyes open though, so we don’t let good things pass us by.
/r/Divorce_Men06/05/24 09:48 PM
2

Absolutely sounds familiar. Sorry you’re dealing with it man. I keep hoping common sense prevails but it sure doesn’t seem to be
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/24 08:51 PM
7

My wife made my kids think I abandoned them, haven’t seen them since December and my son recently told his therapist he is scared of me. They have no reason to feel any of it. Hell I was doing everything I could to keep the marriage together. No fucking sense man. So yea it seems pretty common.
/r/Divorce_Men01/05/24 08:25 PM
1

I just started a new job in March, and all that is well on its way, but thanks for being understanding and making all kinds of assumptions.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/24 04:47 PM
6

My 15 yo son and 21 yo daughter don’t talk to me. I never dreamed it would go like this, no reason for it other than me being emotionally unavailable at times. It’s been since December that I’ve talked to any of my kids. My therapist feels like even if my ex isn’t saying anything directly, she’s likely creating a sense of anxiety around me. The parental alienation subreddit is good.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/24 12:18 PM
2

This is so true, so many of us made our wives our friends. Worst thing we could have ever done as sad as it sounds.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/24 09:17 PM
6

Yeah, it makes me feel a little gross to even entertain. I usually just unmatch and move on or block. Knowing what the other side feels I just can’t.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/24 02:50 PM
1

I had severe anxiety and depression afterwards, I had to check myself into inpatient because I was going to kill myself. I got back 4 weeks later she yo-yo’d me and left me again. I lost my job after that. Luckily I had established the first time I didn’t want to kill myself. I left her and my kids, took some time at my parents. That time probably saved my life. I’m paying for it in she has alienated me from my kids, but they still have a dad at least. All that to say, you aren’t alone, we are a…
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/24 04:01 AM
3

Dude you should read through some of my bullshit. Like the rest of all of this shit the story just keeps repeating. I am a farmer, my dog was literally with me 24/7 and now it’s all of a sudden her dog. My dog sits in her house while she works, not her fault but it’s reality, and does nothing. The only saving grace is I know he’s with my kids, and it’s like having a piece of me there with them. The past few weeks I had him he was soooo happy to go out and harass the chickens and sniff noses with…
/r/Divorce_Men09/04/24 02:15 AM
2

Yeah. Thanks btw, you’re still right. It’s my problem to deal with.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/24 03:19 AM
1

No, no offense and if it had been this way I wouldn’t be saying what I said. What I’m saying is she did nothing. Unless you’re saying you never looked at your bank account and was mad at her for not managing it properly. I payed the bills and managed the money and I didn’t want to because I knew it was a problem. I tried many times throughout our marriage to get her to manage the money. And again I realize this is my own issue I need to fix, also not an excuse but mine is heavily tied to PTSD/de…
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/24 03:03 AM
1

It doesn’t change the fact that with our business I would have owed taxes and she likely wouldn’t have taken that into account with any “shared” return we got.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 05:07 PM
2

Yeah, I really am trying to not give a fuck, it’s easier said than done. Maybe the imaginary meter will help lol
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 05:06 PM
1

I didn’t think so, but she’s sure thinking she could have. Not even going to engage, just more non accountability from her anyway.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 03:46 PM
7

Man I feel so similar. I feel like so much of my life is back to me being my best or close to it. But then days like the past 4-5 are just kicking my ass. The sadness is definitely back in my head.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 03:07 PM
3

This is good advise I needed to hear as well, thanks.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/24 03:05 PM
1

You are not alone my friend. If you need to talk about it, just bitch about our shitty ex's lol send me a message. Its nice to just get this shit off your chest with someone who understands, friends and family only wanna hear so much. Also go to therapy if you aren't already.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/24 06:22 PM
1

This is what it feels like.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/24 06:07 PM
1

Yeah, thanks, I’ll give it a try
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/24 06:07 PM
1

Yeah, stop believing everything and stop playing along. If you need help it’s good you’re getting it. But, take it from me, mine made me feel suicidal and she knew she was doing it, all ammunition for her. Didn’t work, because I stopped listening to her and followed my heart.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/24 04:54 PM
0

It’s scary. I want, almost need, to be in a relationship. That’s a mental issue I have to work on, but I don’t wanna die alone. Hell she’s even made my kids hate me 😔
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/24 04:49 PM
1

Man that sounds real familiar, I’m just hoping I can get somewhere with my youngest
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/24 11:50 AM
1

It’s more a frustration and worry about how this is going to go with the kids, and yes they are being made to believe I abandoned them. I haven’t seen them or spoken to them in months and am told they don’t want to speak to me. So yeah, seemingly small things are fucking setting me off, so give me a break here.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/24 03:32 AM
1

Sorry man. It’s going to feel like 1 step forward 2 steps back for a while. I’m in the middle of another 2 steps back and I’m just about done with all of this. It just sucks so much
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/24 02:58 AM
2

I feel all of this. Happiness is so fleeting now.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/24 12:22 AM
4

I’m admittedly the money spender, but also the earner. My spending over the years has gotten way better, last year sucked for me though job wise. I tried to plead (yeah I know) to realize we were going to be okay. She flipped her mind and left me. 4 months later I’m making more money than I have in a long time. God favors those in the right, and if you don’t believe that, karma, something I don’t know lol.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/24 01:48 AM
3

I’m in exactly the same boat. I’m still struggling with the idea I can’t fix it, even though I know I probably shouldn’t want to. More and more my days are better, then I get a text or something like today, in this case wanting our dog back and I lose it again 😕
/r/Divorce_Men03/04/24 06:17 PM
1

Which would you read first? I didn’t have a dead bedroom, Im assuming this still applies?
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/24 10:10 PM
1

lol she’s telling me my kids don’t want to see me, I thought about telling her the dog said he doesn’t want to see her. I know I know lol. Thanks, I will look into those
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/24 10:03 PM
1

Maximum fucking indifference. I have a question. Me and my ex, are still in the mix of all this bullshit. I just got my dog from her, she wants to share the dog but I don’t. I’m I being an ass or on the lines of this convo if I tell her, “you can’t afford the vet bills and this dog is my only family right now, so no you aren’t getting the dog back” or something along those lines? Keep in mind, the dog is with me 24/7 and I manage a farm. Literal dog fucking paradise
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/24 09:44 PM
8

It sucks, I’ve never not been with anyone for this many holidays. I’m 44 and this is the first time in 44 years ( not counting deployments) I’ve been alone for a holiday. Fuck her for doing this to me, I hope her conscience, karma, something knocks her into this mindset she has knocked me into.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/24 09:34 PM
3

Man mine isn’t fixed but this stuff is true. I might not say “don’t give a fuck” and I don’t think that’s entirely what you mean, but I do think doing what makes you happy is what makes them attracted to you. It makes no fucking sense, I see it though, all my hobbies went out the window and my marriage went right with it.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/24 08:21 PM
5

Sorry man, I feel you very much. I too know I have my parts I played. But at the end of the day, I wanted to fix things and she didn’t. I know it might be hard to believe but she might be trying to keep you hanging because shes not sure about her current or future relationships. Not saying that to make you choose one path or the other but just to SEE it.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/24 07:31 PM
0

”And I tell you this, whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery—unless his wife has been unfaithful.”“ ‭‭Matthew‬ ‭19‬:‭9‬ ‭NLT‬‬ https://bible.com/bible/116/mat.19.9.NLT Don’t leave out the last part
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/24 07:10 PM
2

”And I tell you this, whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery—unless his wife has been unfaithful.”“ ‭‭Matthew‬ ‭19‬:‭9‬ ‭NLT‬‬
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/24 07:06 PM
1

I think there is some truth to this if not the being raised that way part. The modern world, satan if you believe, has villainized the role men and women were to play together. There is so much in the Bible about how we are to be when we are married. Both roles honor the other when done correctly and both roles have been demonized. How many of us failed at being the godly leaders of our households because we didn’t want to overstep modern expectations. Hell it’s almost impossible to maintain a g…
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/24 06:54 PM
2

Well I think, at least for me, I could see me making that mistake just to save my kids. Notice I say mistake, because it is one and I have already made that mistake and here I am anyway.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/24 02:33 AM
3

And thanks for the rest, I appreciate it
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/24 03:24 PM
3

Thanks, it’s really bad she’s holding my kids back (it’s in other posts). But she KNOWS that dog is the next thing in line for my love. Wtf kind of person does this
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/24 03:23 PM
1

Yeah, my mind knows this, from hearing it here. But at the same time destroying the actual thought is hard. My brain is still battling the two thoughts
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/24 03:54 PM
2

Dude it’s nuts how there is some sort of fucking playbook. I dug my hole so deep, trying to understand what “I did” to be so shitty for 23 years. I could go on and on about how fucked this whole thing is, but it’s to the choir here lol.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/24 03:00 AM
3

For me I couldn’t get over the dead eyes, zero emotion in delivering her BS
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/24 02:47 AM
1

lol okay, so are you saying that’s what you’re looking for? This dating app shit is something lol, I’m 44 and it’s chinese
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/24 02:27 AM
1

I would love some shallow sex right now lol, I don’t know how to initialize this anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/24 02:21 AM
4

Yeah, I’ve really trying to dig out the bad, I think us men can compartmentalize these negative traits, where women let them stack, but don’t pull from that stack till something snaps, then it’s all these things you did wrong for 23 years
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/24 02:19 AM
1

Same, I don’t know what else to do about the loneliness. I sacrificed a lot and all I ever wanted was to have a family. I really wish I could just be an asshole and move on that way. I’ve been on a few dates but my heart isn’t in it
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/24 02:16 AM
1

Yep, will never share with my partner again, just my therapist and the friends I don’t have.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/24 01:55 AM
4

Yeah this is definitely what I’ve come to realize. I know I have my issues, but I think the moment I started treating her like my friend and bitching about life stresses is when I lost her. It’s fucked up and counter to what society tells us, but they aren’t our best friends. The marriage dynamic has to be treated differently.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/24 01:51 AM
3

Yeah I’ve been here a few months and it’s great to have everyone here. Glad to know I’m not the only one who’s a hot fucking mess after talking to her. Hell even texts. I’m just glad I could keep my emotions in check, that’s at least better.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/24 12:36 AM
1

Yeah I get that, part of why I posted it here, I shouldn’t care one way or another
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/24 01:33 AM
1

Well where I’m moving is an hour from where I’m at. Going to be there Wednesday, so doesn’t make sense. The job start date kept getting pushed. Did you read the original post, she’s telling me she has some mail, that quite honestly is probably all junk mail for me. There’s something to her asking that has nothing to do with my mail. If she gave a shit about that it would have been mentioned a while ago. Trust me there is no chance she’s being nice. But yeah, boundaries and shit will come, my lif…
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/24 01:27 AM
2

It’s more complicated than that. I’m currently not in a permanent situation. I guess I will go get a PO Box, one week till house so was trying to avoid it. We have not gotten to legal things and she’s not letting me see the kids. Either way, not talking to her
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/24 09:55 PM
3

Just being radio silence, she’s been not answering important shit I’ve sent her. So as stupid as it is I’m gonna let her sit and spin
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/24 08:26 PM
1

I can confirm it’s a good book, read through once already
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/24 01:32 AM
3

Add to this that women are going to straight lie to you about partners. I can only imagine what mine says, after riding the D carousel.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/24 01:31 AM
1

I’m one of those dads not getting to see my kids. I know how he’s feeling maybe to a different degree. I feel as though 3 out 4 of my family have abandoned me, so there’s a bit of “fuck it” mindset. Still, OP shouldn’t leave. It is okay to have the feeling though. Just be the bigger person OP
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/24 01:23 AM
1

The fucking irony is my ex didn’t want to bring my daughter back since she is so manipulative. Guess how quick it became me manipulating her to feel a certain way about my daughter, WTF
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/24 01:16 AM
3

Edit- just want to clarify, you shouldn’t run OP, but it’s okay to have that feeling Glad there’s a few people that feel this way. My ex and my 21 year old daughter hate me, they’ve made my 15m possibly hate me, he’s at least just not communicating with me at all. My 10f is the only reason I have not ran for the hills. I also at least feel the 15m is not thinking clearly. It’s so fucking “toxic” (hate that word but it’s true), my life was turned upside down for sooo many reasons last year and wa…
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/24 01:14 AM
2

It’s up and down man, I am right there with you. We’ll make it through this BS
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/24 02:17 AM
15

Dude, I know what you mean and of course it’s a bullshit excuse, but mine played the same game. House was always a mess that I didn’t actually complain about regardless of her being at home. She complained I didn’t help while she was a SAHM, then she went to work because she was depressed, literally no change lol and I still didn’t complain. Fast forward to us having financial problems and her income all of a sudden being important, she didn’t like that she was “supporting” us despite me still m…
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/24 02:11 AM
1

And as far as money, see said job loss, oh and add to that she stopped contributing any money to any bills. So yeah, have credit cards, but those kept me from being completely homeless and getting my vehicle repoed. Thank the lord my daughter wrecked (she was okay) and totaled the car my wife had. That saved me from being in an even worse situation. And yes I had whatever jobs I could get, but a 50k loss a year is hard to just “fill”
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/24 01:58 AM
1

Long story short, we both had to move at the same time because the house was part of the job that I no longer had. I did make the mistake of doing that first, because she took that and made the kids think I left them.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/24 01:54 AM
1

Just started a new job, so hopefully soon
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/24 06:23 PM
1

No agreement haven’t been able to talk to or see my kids since before Christmas.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/24 06:18 PM
1

No not at this moment
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/24 06:17 PM
1

Read edit
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/24 06:10 PM
1

Read edit
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/24 06:10 PM
1

Well let’s see, 7 years ago she cheated, more or less blamed it on me and my “problems”. Obviously I took her back like an idiot all the while blaming myself for everything. This time, she didn’t want to feel bad so she initiated the separation first. But, all the same vague reasons given. The reality is, identically to the first time we were under high amounts of financial stress, which I could live with as being the reason if not for the opening up of her legs for anyone who will take her and …
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/24 10:57 AM
1

I’m sorry man. I’m actually having a pretty similar situation except it’s my own 21 year old daughter and ex doing it to me. My 15 boy now feels I’ve done some sort of egregious thing that no one “seems” to be able to explain to me. Any attempt to talk to my 10f is ignored completely. Essentially my kids, especially the 10 y/o, have been stolen from me. So yeah, I feel you man, it’s breaking me. I can’t even seem to enjoy the wins I am having in life.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/24 09:59 PM
12

I would say marry a good Christian woman, but I sure thought I did that. Come to find out the only thing that really happened is I was just that more perplexed by her decisions later.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/24 02:51 AM
5

Trusting you here man, hope you’re not promoting your own shit or something lol.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/24 02:47 AM
3

I would go to jail over this, not even kidding.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/24 03:14 AM
1

This scares the shit out of me. I have issues with my kids as well and expect a fight there. However, I have been unable to keep my dog due to living arrangements. I’m a farmer and my dog is like a fifth limb to me. I should have never left the house without him. Man this really scares the shit out of me.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/24 03:11 AM
2

Hey man as a fellow Vet, corny but who cares, I love you. We got our shit, all of us here, and our own regrets. I spent money when I got depressed, and it certainly added to her stress last year. But I was good to her, and I did my best, and I know we both loved each other wholly. But, she couldn’t handle it so here we are. You did your best man, and you deserve someone who will see that
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/24 12:11 AM
2

Not as long in, but I have similar feelings. No ONS offers but I can pretty accurately say I would have the same reaction.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/24 06:45 PM
2

Man I have the same issue, pictures too though
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/24 11:08 AM
2

Amen. I feel all of this. I agonize over things I feel I should have done better. I am just starting to pick up the pieces. My rational mind would never take her back, but man am I scared of the irrational heart. Hopefully, as you alluded to, I won’t even have to worry about it, while my heart drops to think it won’t happen. lol we are crazy creatures and they are the craziest of us.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/24 09:29 PM
2

Unfortunately he won’t even talk to me right now. Nothing to do with any of that, however my wife or the situation has him convinced I’m some sort of, I’m not really even sure what. I wish I had been a better dad, but I don’t think what I’m getting from him and my eldest daughter is fair. Which sucks, because I’m not sure from one week to the next if I deserve all of this or not. I love all my kids, I wish I could tell them, or at least I wish they knew.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/24 12:15 AM
11

lol no gag reflex and captain save a hoe got me rolling. Man this shit sucks no matter what mistakes you made. I feel for you, I’m still in it so much m still struggling too, but we got this man. Just be the guy she’ll always regret.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/24 10:05 PM
2

Yeah you can’t be a dick, but you kind of have to act indifferent towards them. It’s actually quite fucked up in my opinion.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/24 10:01 PM
2

Dude, it’s fucking crazy. If you haven’t read up on the light switch effect you need to. Women wouldn’t know a good thing if it hit them between the eyes. The more you treat them like they don’t deserve you the more they want you, treat them like they’re special and they jump on the D carousel.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/24 09:41 PM
2

Yeah don’t buy that amicable bullshit, and you will hear it, she just wants you to stay behind the curve so she can keep control of the situation. And don’t think she’s not thinking this way either. My ex was the sweetest most caring woman and then it was like she got possessed by a demon.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/24 07:03 PM
1

There’s also Facebook dating, it’s free, and not directly tied to your Facebook account like people think it is.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/24 01:22 AM
9

This, the hurt is incredible, and it’s going to be like getting an abused dog from the pound .
/r/Divorce_Men29/02/24 10:54 AM
9

You guys are all giving me hope. This group is really special and appreciate all the help everyone on this subreddit gives. Thanks OP, literally just had drinks with someone and it really felt nice.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/24 12:03 AM
1

Yeah, zero friends. If it doesn’t kill me I’m gonna have a hell of a “callous” from this.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 05:00 PM
1

Yeah, I don’t know. I do know she’s been calling me one since this started. My eldest daughter who doesn’t care for me could be compared to a friend that’s encouraging her to leave me. Daughter also says I’m a narcissist but they seem to just be echoing each other. I think the stress we have been in all of last year, is really what all of this is about. But it’s all so bizarre, none of it makes any sense for her reasons, but it’s also all got some truth to it which makes it even harder to proces…
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 02:43 PM
2

Also I am definitely codependent in so many ways, I tied my self worth to her.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 10:50 AM
1

I do have family I can phone, but they’re all 1600 miles away, and I can tell they are starting to feel tired of hearing it. They’re being very understanding but I don’t want to burden them with it anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 10:49 AM
2

Yeah funny enough I just restarted journaling last night. It does help, I shouldn’t have stopped, it’s important to make time for it and praying for those that are religious as well.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 10:46 AM
3

I welcome both so thanks. It’s crossed my mind that I might have to go home, but it’s 1600 miles away and it’s the last thing I wanna do, but it might be my only option. I did go to church yesterday since this low spot hit me pretty hard this weekend. I’ve even considered an RV, but can’t find any place that’s open in the winter. It’s not all doom and gloom, though it feels like it, I do have an interview tomorrow and have some hopes there but so far everything feels like 1 step forward 2 steps …
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 02:52 AM
0

I didn’t have time to read all of this, but I skimmed as best I could. You are not dealing with anything new. She can’t tell you what you did because she doesn’t know. All I ever heard was, “I shouldn’t have to tell you”, what a bunch of horse shit that is. You did the same thing I did and vomiting of the mouth ensued, all of a sudden all of the things I seen as my own shortcomings came out in force and I gave her even more ammunition.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/24 09:28 PM
1

Man I’m check to check to, look at us with poor financial planning 😂. I can’t even get in an apartment without fucking ridiculous standards for fuck APARTMENTs. 3x the rent and fairly good credit scores, as well as diving into what they think my budget planning is.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/24 10:52 PM
1

I wish I could find one around me, this is the closest thing I’ve found 🙁
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/24 04:19 PM
8

You’re not the sum of your failures.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/24 04:16 PM
1

Yeah, I had a rough year last year, but the road I was on when she left was going to get us out and for the better in the long run. She couldn’t see past the stress of right now.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/24 04:14 PM
6

Man this really just helped me. I am dead serious, I was sooooo close to just being done today and after reading this it made me realize I am letting one fucking person dictate to me what I am. I love that woman, but if she doesn’t know what she had then fuck her. I am a good man and I am more than my failures. I am serious man, not everyone here believes in God, but I am telling you, you were led to post this even if you didn’t know it.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/24 01:32 AM
1

Listen to what he’s saying even though it might hurt, he speaks the truth. Like you said there probably is some asshole fucking your wife knowing she’s married. I “worked things out” with my ex 7 years ago and I’m right back where I was except with 7 years gone. And things were good for those 7 years till they weren’t, she’ll do it again. I don’t necessarily condone it, but if it gives you some closure, find out if she’s cheating or not. But as others have said, she probably is.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/24 04:08 AM
2

I say this tongue in cheek, but maybe there’s a reason women’s role was the way it was. lol I know this isn’t really true, and you’re possibly right it is maybe something involving the freedoms they now feel they have.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/24 04:00 AM
2

Yeah but this isn’t what a lot of us are experiencing. Yes some of our wives maybe had some dude chatting them up, but a lot of our wives stepped after they made the drastic emotional changes OP speaks of. Then they take said emotional changes and turn that into morally destructive behavior.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/24 03:55 AM
3

I went into a stressful financial situation knowing it had a high percentage of failure. The part I fucked up on was knowing that she has checked out in the past because of this kind of stress. Even though we discussed it and she indicated she would be able to handle it, I should have realized she didn’t know how to handle it and didn’t. There were reasons she gave me, and there were truths to some of those, but the above is really what flipped the switch for her. I wish I could go back to that …
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/24 10:58 AM
1

Yeah, my worry started falling apart when I really started applying it to other parts of my life. And no offense to anyone who likes these YouTube channels, but most of those folks are talking about this stuff in a way that it can apply to just about anyone, like astrology lol.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 02:43 PM
1

Yeah I did talk to my therapist about it after my last post about narcissism. He didn’t think there’s anything there, he thought it was kind of funny I was even worried about it. I think after listening to the covert description it worried me, since it is different. But, after really thinking about it, with a few exceptions I don’t apply any of that to any other aspects of my life, she’s the only person to ever make me want to kill my self. What kind of person do you have to be to throw someone …
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 02:40 PM
2

Man sorry that sucks. Mines like that to a much lesser degree ( that I know of). She really likes sex, but when we’re good she’s monogamous, but when we aren’t she uses it to validate herself.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 12:53 AM
2

My experience so far is similar to this. I’m not totally sure I don’t love her still, and I do still blame myself for a lot. What I do know is it really devastates me that this is so wrong for our children. I’ve been alienated, there situation at home is probably not great and I’m not able to protect them. Also for some stupid reason, love I suppose, I hate seeing what she is doing to her self; I still really want to protect her. I was far from perfect, and our marriage had its ups and downs, bu…
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/24 08:21 PM
1

Home was part of a job I’m no longer employed at, so we both had to move.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/24 08:08 PM
5

Yeah, I’m trying to make some friends. Unfortunately my old friends are not living around here. Imagine not being happy with someone making you their top priority, women are something else.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 10:39 PM
1

We both had to move, I did leave angry before we had to move a few months ago to visit family and she used that to make my kids feel like I abandoned them. Keeps telling me they don’t want to talk to me. I don’t think I could have stayed much longer than I did. The coldness was just crushing me. Reddit has been a huge help, getting this stuff off my chest is invaluable.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 09:44 PM
5

I don’t begrudge anyone trying to work it out, hell I probably would still try. And the key advice here being to work on yourself. However, you do have to admit the way women do this is truly awful and is a huge societal problem. Throwing away 23 years in my case without trying to work it out and in the process destroying my kids lives all while putting all the blame on me is worse than awful. I struggled with blaming myself for everything, it wasn’t till I really started to get some clarity I s…
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 04:20 PM
1

I think he means it’s a killing shot no matter what you do. Just the way I took it.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 04:09 PM
1

lol that’s the biggest load of horse shit I have ever heard. It’s like the saying “a military spouse has the hardest job in the military”. Oh boo fucking hoo you have to manage the bills and take care of the baby by yourself. Would have much rather traded spots, maybe I would actually be close to my daughter, that sacrifice I can never get back.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 04:07 PM
4

Mines doing the same until she needs something, and then it’s like she’s passing it on an enigma machine. I wish my heart would stop dropping to my stomach every time I make any contact with her.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 03:56 PM
3

The narcissist term is just used because there’s no real defense against it. If you defend yourself by denying the accusations and try to speak the truth, all of a sudden you’re gaslighting and manipulative.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 06:21 AM
1

I feel that too. It’s hard to watch someone who you know is capable of great compassion and is your best friend make all these absolutely bizarre life choices. All while violently removing you from her life.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 01:28 AM
1

“What died in you, will die in me” That is A++ my friend, I’m going to use that one and it is so on point. It’s going to be a shallow road our exes are going down, I don’t see my ex as having any sort of meaningful life on par with what we had. Maybe I’m wrong, but you have to have some serious mental illness to do something like this. The really shitty part is my eldest daughter is turning out just like her, if not worse. She baby daddied her boyfriend and she verbally abuses him “jokingly”. It…
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/24 01:24 AM
3

Same story for most of it, it’s crazy
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/24 05:40 PM
5

There is no understanding it man. Mine has told me all kinds of reasons why. While there’s truth to some of it, she really just couldn’t handle the stress we were dealing with in life. She has gone off the deep end twice, both times while dealing with extreme life stress, but apparently that’s just a coincidence.
/r/Divorce_Men15/02/24 05:39 PM
3

lol that did cross my mind, but I’m hoping it’s just the PhD.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 06:10 PM
8

No joke. I’m mid 40s, going out with a 32 year old woman with a PhD and no kids this weekend. I’m so nervous about this unicorn that’s apparently into older men lol.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/24 05:02 PM
3

Not to mention she’s probably trying to get a babysitter
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/24 02:24 PM
1

Or she’ll do like mine did and “separate” for reasons A, B, C, and D and make herself feel like she’s not a cheater.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/24 12:34 AM
8

Keep doing what you’re doing mine did the same shit like 7 years ago and I did take her back, now we’re in round two and the only lesson she learned was turning the kids on me. I’m not a super star dad, but I did my best. Now my two oldest won’t talk to me, my oldest thinks I’m the cause of all her problems in life and my middle son, thinks I’ve done something so wrong I deserve all this. Looking back, leading up to this mess she spent a lot of time talking with my son. And me making my 21 year …
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/24 03:34 AM
16

Dude it’s fucking nuts, it’s like waking up to another person in your house.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/24 11:21 PM
1

You’re seriously not alone in that. I don’t know what I will do if that day comes. I hope she’s burned the bridge so bad I can’t even swim across because the waters boiling.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/24 03:36 AM
1

Listen man, I understand this all to well, but you have to treat her like she’s used goods. It will make your life easier and for whatever stupid reason with women, she will likely want to come back. Don’t do it for that though. Just wish I could follow my own advice, this shit is not easy
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/24 03:26 AM
1

Don’t take these words lightly OP, I did and regret it. My story is the same as yours, YOU DONT DESERVE SOMEONE WHO WILL NOT STICK BY YOU IN HARD TIMES.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/24 03:10 AM
1

lol I wonder if any of those women are up for moving to the country
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/24 03:04 AM
1

That’s fair. I’m on a similar timeline to his, not official yet but same blindside and mine was early summer. He’s going to have ups and downs, if you really like him respect those. As far as being ready, that depends on him, but maybe don’t beat around the bush and tell him your concerns. Most of us here would have killed for a woman that TRULY supported us. We’re all different, some men need that 1+ years of contemplation, and some are ready to move on pretty quick. Apart from just not being a…
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/24 03:00 AM
5

Yeah, the sad thing is I’m not sure what I will do if she wants to come back. I’m trying to keep myself angry, but it’s hard. I just want my family back. I know it’s not going to happen.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 03:00 PM
6

More likely that the other side of the fence wasn’t so great.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 02:53 PM
2

I had already started a job when she pulled the rug out from under me, for the second time after briefly getting back together. Long story short, depression hit me hard and that one didn’t work out. Good news is both these job prospects are better than the other one.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/24 06:16 AM
2

The home was part of my previous employment benefit. So we both had to leave.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/24 05:07 AM
1

The home was part of my previous employment benefit. So we both had to leave.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/24 05:05 AM
12

I’ve said it before. But I would NEVER sleep with a married woman no matter how long she’s been “separated”. Knowing the hurt on this side, you would have to be a loser imho.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/24 12:30 AM
6

I am fortunate I have never been much for saying her name during sex. I could imagine myself thinking of her though, just like visualization, that would bother me and I imagine it would be normal though. If she understands I would not beat yourself up about it.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/24 02:38 PM
3

Yeah I am right there with you man. I have the same beliefs and it’s tough to grasp what has done and is doing to my kids. I have the dreams all the time as well. And you’re right, it’s not the same person. Sometimes they are nightmares and those are probably pretty accurate lol.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/24 02:35 PM
1

Thanks very insightful
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/24 06:07 AM
2

After researching it more I am pretty sure she’s the narcissist
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/24 06:02 AM
1

Yeah I get that. I’m trying to get my shit together so I can. She turned my life upside down. I owned a farm, lost my lease there. Im semi retired, so not entirely broke, but the farm lease also included our house. She moved, took the kids and most of my stuff with her. Hopefully get one of these jobs I have interviews with this week. Then it’s all guns firing.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/24 12:24 AM
1

Yeah I get that. I’m trying to get my shit together so I can. She turned my life upside down. I owned a farm, lost my lease there. Im semi retired, so not entirely broke, but the farm lease also included our house. She moved, took the kids and most of my stuff with her. Hopefully get one of these jobs I have interviews with this week. Then it’s all guns firing.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/24 12:24 AM
1

God this shit is just all so fucked up. I asked for a computer of mine that she packed up and took. Now the story is I gave it to my son (just said he could use it). So now if I demand it I’m “taking” something from my son. Meanwhile I’m literally going to be homeless in two fucking days, likely living in my truck in New Hampshire. I have poured everything in to our bills and debt while she squirreled hers away to move out. This shit is a serious mental illness she has. How am I the bad guy in t…
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/24 05:15 AM
1

She’s pretty much holding them hostage, saying I abandoned them because she doesn’t want to try anymore. I am still quite stunned by all of this. I feel like I’m dealing with someone who has been possessed. All I’m trying to do is save our family and she’s shredding it to pieces and making it all my fault. I had hoped I would not have to get lawyers and shit involved, but I guess that’s the lever I’m going to have to pull. I really just wish I could save my family.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/24 04:59 AM
1

Thanks. I do find it interesting the difference between men and women in this situation. I guess there could be a women’s group talking about how all their stories are basically the same. The trend seems to be: Woman crushes man man feels like their world is ending. Woman starts to realize life is going to be tough. Man realizes he’s been living with a succubus Woman wants man back Man’s life gets better At least I hope that is how it goes. Already starting to feel like this is happening.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/24 03:55 AM
2

I don’t think so. I am very driven, but if anything I am embarrassed by any praise. I am not good at taking criticism though which can also be part of it.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/24 03:29 AM
3

You should also read The Gap and The Gain if you haven’t already. Opens your eyes to your own Gap moments but also explained a lot about my wife’s unhappiness living in the Gap.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/24 01:10 AM
2

Mine lost her faith and it shows in her values. I imagine this is subject that can go all sorts of ways since most women in this position pretty much use anything and everything as an excuse regardless of it being an actual excuse.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 02:01 PM
2

Man I was EXACTLY where you are a few months ago. Problems started (from my perspective) in September ish, absolute nightmare November. Back together and great for two weeks then right before Christmas she lost her mind again. I lost it and left to stay at my parents, it crushed me. I still hold some hope for us, but it’s foolish. Please listen to the men here. It’s sad, but this story is the same for so many of us. The best thing you can do is don’t keep trying to own the blame like I have done…
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 08:24 PM
2

I hope so. It all feels really hopeless at the moment. I have removed myself for the past two months and that has helped me get my mind clear. However, I have to go back this week to move my stuff out and I’m really worried about it. I don’t have any support back there and it worries me. Was just telling my dad, I just can’t get the hope of fixing things out of my head. I know it’s illogical, but the emotions are just so overwhelming. If I didn’t have kids I would just move to Costa Rica and be …
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 06:33 PM
2

You give me hope lol, because it sure doesn’t feel that way right now. Still struggling with the co-dependent thing
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 05:09 PM
4

She’s likely crazy is what I’m getting at.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 12:31 AM
3

I bet there is loads more to this story
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/24 12:17 AM
3

I like to look at it as more of a test than a plan. If you believe, you should realize this life’s a test for a better existence.
/r/Divorce_Men28/01/24 06:17 PM
3

I could have typed this. I feel for you man. This all really sucks. I am still in the thick of it so no advice, but I will say hang in there. It’s all we can do, and we will come out of this in a way they will regret.
/r/Divorce_Men26/01/24 08:26 PM
2

Yeah, just wanting to know if this is in my favor in court.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 10:38 PM
9

I struggle with this too. I always have this feeling, despite knowing better, that she’s going to snap out of it. Therapy helps for sure and just talking to a loved one about it all. Helps me see the reality of what is happening.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/24 09:08 PM
12

Family life growing up. I wish I had seen those as warning signs.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/24 09:14 PM
1

I blame myself for way too much. Obviously part of me realizes I’m doing it, but for some reason it’s hard to get past. Good to hear it’s not only familiar but that there is a light at the end of the tunnel
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/24 08:47 PM
0

Yeah, wasn’t intending it to sound hostile, more over the top frustrated than anything. This whole thing sucks and it feels like all paths are the wrong ones. Right now I’m struggling with whether or not I should help her with this rental car.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/24 05:46 PM
0

So in October my wife said she was done. I stuck it out despite a lot of hate and blame for the situation we were in financially, which as far as savings goes I do hold the blame for that. The rest was caused by a terrible lease situation with our farm and natural disaster in our area. But she claims that has nothing to do with us, but I digress. So, like I said stuck it out. My wife decided she wanted to get back together, we were great for two weeks at the end of November. Turns out she was us…
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/24 04:59 PM
1

So I’m interested what others think about this. To reply though, I considered that when my daughter sent me this. However, my 9 year old has been led to believe I abandoned her by her mother and her sister. Maybe I should not have said it, but what I said was the truth.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/24 03:10 PM
3

Yeah I hope so, she’s got some serious stuff to work on as do I, as do all of us I’m sure. I’ll be devastated if I don’t get to see my grandson. If anything comes of her pregnancy, I hope growing up is one of them.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/24 06:24 AM
5

Oh I live in a legal state, I don’t have a problem with it. What I had a problem with was her not helping on our farm like she was getting paid for because she was too stoned to work or get up out of bed. That was just more than I wanted to put in an already long post. I do appreciate the reply thanks.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/24 06:19 AM
2

NO my wife cheated on me 7 years ago. The only thing I am guilty of is spending to much money, so when our business (A farm) had serious natural disaster issues we were in trouble. My wife has freaked out like this twice, first time she cheated on me twice, and this time she hadn’t cheated before separating, but feels like she is free to do whatever she wants now. Both times were during financial issues. I took my wife back the first time and in hindsight probably should not have, which in my op…
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/24 12:32 AM
9

Yeah I am definitely going to let them figure it out. No more paying for car, no more insurance, good luck with life. For my daughter, I wish she was just upset. She has always had this sick obsession with competing with me for her mom. Her mom typically seen it for what it is, but my daughter sees an opening and is going to shove as big a wedge in there as possible. A little of her messed up attention grabbing behavior. She once accused my brother of molesting her, which did not happen. She ran…
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/24 12:25 AM
2

Well I’ve been gone for a month and a half, but yeah I tried to go back after 12 hours.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/24 09:09 PM
4

Dude don’t sweat it, I blame myself for some of this shit too. But now that I am detached from the situation I am starting to see the reality.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/24 01:57 AM
2

Man I wish it didn’t get me worked up. I honestly don’t know why it’s bothering me so much I didn’t ever even look at it. For some stupid reason I still want this all to be fixed. Im trying really hard to move past it, and then something like this happens and I slide back down the cliff. I know I’m not alone in this, but it seems like every other day I am going back and forth between starting to feel optimistic to wanting to throw myself in front of a bus. The only fear I have is we are 1500 mil…
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/24 02:37 AM
1

Yeah definitely haven’t said anything about any of it. I know it’s to hurt me, it just sucks that it works so well.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/24 01:14 AM
1

Yeah I try. The 9 year old my wife just keeps telling me she doesn’t want to talk to me. My son doesn’t answer my texts or calls. I imagine he’s just avoiding the whole situation. He probably wouldn’t talk to my wife either if he had the choice. I don’t know, I do struggle with blaming myself, but as my mom said nothing I’ve done warrants the way my wife is acting. I’m just not great with the finances and am not one of those dads that’s super emotional, think the dad from A Christmas Story, that…
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/24 09:22 PM
2

Yeah I’ve read it. Still working on the implementing part lol.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/24 09:01 PM
2

My mom just berated me for blaming myself so much for all of this. My wife has manipulated me into believing I am the source of all our problems. I know I have my issues but I didn’t rip our family apart.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/24 07:30 PM
1

Thanks
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/24 07:28 PM
3

9 and 15. Well she told me as much, also she was screaming that at me over the phone.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/24 07:13 PM
2

lol this thread is great
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/24 04:57 AM
3

No shit, I got the gaslighting BS and was called a psychopath when I tried to justify and argue against any of it.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/24 04:52 AM
1

Yeah even these last few years I’ve noticed we’re going in opposite directions looks wise even. Sad thing is I would have been her ride or die no matter what. Really sad.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/24 02:22 PM
1

Yeaaaah, I’m probably in that kill myself zone. Also I feel like I’m getting plenty of feelings now. But, I do understand, I don’t want to be on it forever either.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/24 02:19 PM
1

Lexapro is the worst, that shit fucked my little man up. On Wellbutrin now and I think it almost helps in that department.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/24 05:17 AM
1

This is where I’m at. Still sometimes hits the feels. I got called and told I did all sorts of shit that wasn’t true. I poured my life into her, and what did I get? So fuck it, gonna be what I want to be and watch her slowly slide into the hell she’s made for herself. It will all come around eventually. My only problem is she’s poisoned the well with my older kids, which is going to take some work. But, I got it.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/24 05:09 AM
2

Sorry man, just hang in there. I’m in the same boat. 23 years. It feels like someone sucked the air out of my chest sometimes. Just keep doing what works for you.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/24 04:37 AM
6

On another note, from someone that seems to keep finding my way back to that social cesspool, I am so done with that too. And as far as what to do, I don’t have a good answer, but for me the only thing not making me jump off a bridge has been coming and staying with my folks for the holidays. Us all setting around talking about Mrs Nutso is therapeutic.
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/24 10:53 PM
12

Man I feel you, I have been a wreck for weeks now. If I am learning anything from this, I am never ever going to date a woman that is newly out of divorce or just separated. I probably wouldn’t anyway but, just the thought that some poor guy is on the other end of that and me knowing that it probably has crazy smeared all over it, is a big fuck no.
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/24 10:50 PM
3

Not saying you’re wrong about my decision but I don’t think this is the same. Not really sure how I’m supposed to act when someone I gave everything to looks at me with zero emotion and rips my heart out. My decision was wrong for the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 11:16 AM
2

I knew some of this from other reading, but this explains it a lot better. So is it just pointless to even try? I thought I was on the right path, but it all dissolved, like a light switch after two good weeks. Most people on here are done, obviously it’s a divorce page, but are there any good stories of keeping the family together? I guess it all just sounds so pointless.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 03:50 AM
3

Yea was definitely in the heat. But, I’m all over the place. I can’t control the desperation and thats got me making a lot of mistakes. I guess I’m just afraid of not being able to move on.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 03:34 AM
2

She did
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 03:27 AM
1

Yeah and working on yourself might have her doing those things you want. You being the best you goes a long way to you being happy
/r/Divorce_Men30/11/23 10:35 PM
3

Sounds like you maybe have some resources you are looking at. I use Marriage Helper and Husband Help Haven. They have helped me at least have some clarity about the situation.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/23 03:58 AM
1

Husband Help Haven is a good resource if you have any shred of desire to try to make it work. Either way, sorry to hear it. Mine went through the same thing, no idea who that person is.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/23 07:27 PM
3

Mine used to hound me to get a vasectomy, I never did because I secretly feared this very thing.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/23 01:31 AM
2

Yeah been using it myself. It helps for sure. The free stuff is pretty good. I did buy his peace and control course and have not regretted it. Even if it doesn’t help me save my marriage, it helps with getting through all this hell and preparing me for the worst.
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/23 12:10 PM
2

Check out Husband Help Haven. Google it. You are doing everything wrong if you actually want her back
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/23 08:02 PM
4

Tell me your secrets, also coming out of 23 years and it all seems so daunting
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/23 02:49 PM
1

I recommend two resources, Husband Help Haven, and reading the book no more Mr. Nice Guy. At the very least the first will help get through the divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/23 12:42 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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