Really low

Ambitious_Flow9819 · 2024-02-28T21:18:55+00:00

Hang in there. Keep your chin up. Hit the gym or at least walk. Lift weights. I’ve come to realize that getting in shape is the best thing for men after a breakup. Don’t give up on yourself. You have many more years of life to live. This will all pass in time. We have all had the same feeling but have come out the other side.

AirSailer · 2024-02-27T19:28:07+00:00

Have you had your testosterone levels checked? Are you taking care of yourself physically? Working out, getting outside, etc? Do you have any hobbies? How about goals, do you have any and if so are they concrete and realistic? Have you written any down?

I know it seems silly to ask these questions, but many men sit around, drink, watch TV and play video games and they don't do the actual things that will make their lives better. If you don't feel good physically then it's hard to feel good mentally.

If you watch porn often you need to stop, or at least cut back to once or twice a week/weekend.

Lp300Life · 2024-02-27T17:49:31+00:00

more or less the same story here. I feel in the dark and can relate. it just get worst and it is hard to make a change.

pikohina · 2024-02-27T16:59:30+00:00

Hey buddy, you’re gonna be ok.

failure_apparent · 2024-02-27T16:50:47+00:00

"I feel like I’m constantly crying to this group."

That's what we're here for. Cry away friend, let it out.

codbatter · 2024-02-27T10:00:58+00:00

https://chat.whatsapp.com/EzvkrF1pqejLbsQ9YEA7dv

your friends are here

upvotersfortruth · 2024-02-27T06:15:42+00:00

Cry on brother - we don't go away.

yknotalpha · 2024-02-27T05:13:34+00:00

Buddy I don't have kids but I am also fuked up by this legal system and more by the rage and hostility of my ex which she is using through legal system..

It's been 5 years of Battle.

I just started my depression pills and taking therapy..

I feel hopeless and seem like I will crash anytime..

But I know some day I will be fine with dealing with shit as it is not in my control..

fukcing this system treats husbands like criminal

Interesting_Stress28 · 2024-02-27T04:36:12+00:00

There are lots of lows in this road I am finding out myself. But let this be your lowest. Today is a new day. Turn something around in a positive for you. Find some help. Get things in order to see your kids. Start small and work your way back up man

Legitimate-Match2675 · 2024-02-27T04:08:25+00:00

There is a light at the end of tunnel. You may be too far away from it to see it, but it’s there. Keep heading in that direction, o e day at a time, and you will eventually see it.

AmIryt02 · 2024-02-27T04:06:05+00:00

It doesn’t look like it right now but it gets better. Take this time to reset and build a plan to get back on your feet, even if it’s a small task, consider it a small win in the bigger battle.

Own_Saucer1993 · 2024-02-27T03:33:59+00:00

Also hit a low today. Had a good day at work but once it ended I got rocked by a tidal wave of emotions. I was pretty damn close to phoning up the stbxw to let her know I miss her, but I remembered this sub and now I’m here.

It’s so annoying how our minds focus on the highlights and positives of a relationship. I have to actively remember why I’m in this position.

For those in the beginning of the process, I highly recommend journaling or taking notes on why you’re divorcing. It will become a helpful tool to realign yourself when you slip into a moment of weakness. Just start off by writing the truest sentence you can about your situation. The more raw the better the impact to knock some sense back into yourself.

MonarchistExtreme · 2024-02-27T03:29:02+00:00

Are you SURE you don't have family members you could turn to...maybe patch something up with someone?

Your feelings about wanting her to be miserable make PERFECT sense but lemme tell ya...once the novelty wears off it will just make you feel worse. You thinking it would be better if she were miserable is highlighting that you are still deeply connected to her emotionally and that's keeping you down.

I'd focus on those kids..they are the only thing that matters. You need to find a way to approach them to get back into their lives.

domo_roboto · 2024-02-27T02:45:02+00:00

Not sure if you're looking for a shoulder or solutions or both. If it's a shoulder to lean on, we're all here to listen and just know that we've all been through the depths of hell and many of us have climbed out - hang in there. If it's solution ideas, since you can't see your kids for now, a job that's not up to your expectaions, and you don't have support nearby, perhaps you can temporarily move, go back home assuming there is a home and parents or sibling to rely on temporarily? If not, perhaps a religious group even if you're not religious?

Heavy_Guitar_4848 · 2024-02-27T02:40:35+00:00

Let it all out man. I’m crushed too struggling to focus on anything. I’d focus on problem solving and being grateful for the little things. Start networking and making friends. It’ll get better, have to hang in there and give it time

JJJflight · 2024-02-27T02:29:23+00:00

Hey brother, you are not alone, so many of share similar stories. I have two children, I am in the process as well and can feel the wedge she is slowly but covertly driving between me and the kids. The children will always be your children, nothing she can do about that and eventually they will realize that dad is an important person to have in their lives and they will come looking for you. Don't let your thoughts wonder to the negative as difficult as it is. Hit a church even if you are not religious. Focus on one day at a time, you and I and the rest of us will pull through....just don't ever give her the satisfaction of giving up.

Intimacy4u · 2024-02-27T02:26:15+00:00

Just take each day as it comes. We have all been there in one form or another.

You exist for a reason and purpose yet be determined.

Don’t give up Never give up Stay strong 💪🏼

You are never alone. 🤛🏻

Expert_Cod5485 · 2024-02-27T02:24:28+00:00

We are with you brother.

danpier8 · 2024-02-27T02:19:55+00:00

Hey man, First thing is to re build yourself. Nit her or kids etc.

Stop any alchohol or smoking Start walking 10k steps a day Find a better job or additional, this is the key to half of your problems Once financially stable, now it's time to back on track, and reclaim your rights.

Android_1234 · 2024-02-27T02:12:43+00:00

Hey man, you've got one friend at least and he's typing you this comment right now. This whole process sucks. Plain and simple. I'm about a month in and a roller coaster is the perfect way to describe it. I'll have good days and then days where I just stare at the wall in disbelief. Everyone's healing process is different so don't feel bad about what you are going through at all.

Cry to this sub all you want, that's what it's here for. We don't have a lot of outlets and safe havens as men, but there is that here. I obviously don't know all the ins and outs of your situation but maybe try focusing on one main thing right now and don't worry at all about how she is doing or other big things that have to happen. Do you have somewhere to sleep tonight and food for today? I'd call that a success. Continue doing this each day and try to break it down into smaller chunks. Trust me, I know this is much much easier said than done.

Do not fall into the mindset of letting your ex define who you are. Who cares what she thinks? You define you. Every decision you make from right now defines you. You alone get to make those choices. Comparison is the thief of joy. Do not worry about anyone else. Focus on yourself and your kids. Fostering relationships with them will pay dividends in the end, no matter how slow it is.

Take care brother. I'm here to DM if you need it.

Title	Really low
Author	Cheb44
Upvotes	25
Comments	34
Date	February 27, 2024 1:54 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1b0zqi6/really_low/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/really-low.1246544 https://theredarchive.com/post/1246544

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