| Upvotes | Title | Category | Author | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 148 | How I let a woman destroy my life - 41m. Young men: Do not ever get married. | FineTransition96 | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/11/22 07:27 AM | |
| 112 | Every "single mom" in OLD | FineTransition96 | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/02/23 05:22 AM | |
| 68 | She just does not know how to be happy | FineTransition96 | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/12/22 11:52 AM | |
| 28 | Angry | FineTransition96 | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/03/23 05:57 PM | |
| 25 | Erectile Dysfuncion after divorce - common? | FineTransition96 | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/01/23 07:43 PM | |
| 17 | How not to start despising women in general? | FineTransition96 | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/11/22 06:55 AM | |
| 17 | Am I "being strong" or just numb? | FineTransition96 | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/11/22 08:01 AM | |
| 12 | What to do with the children? | FineTransition96 | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/01/23 03:49 PM | |
| 10 | We will finalize in two days | FineTransition96 | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/01/23 06:19 AM | |
| 2 | She has convinced herself that she was never happy | FineTransition96 | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/11/22 07:25 AM | |
| 1 | Dating algorithm | FineTransition96 | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/02/23 11:55 AM |
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Reminder: Wait at least one year after Divorce before dating.You are correct sir, it is now one year later, and that's what I'm doing. I focus on my life, and it is fantastic. Building a new relationship with my girlfriend, taking the best care of my children that I can. Although the financial blow was really, really bad and will impact me into retirement (only 42 now), it was all worth it. She ripped our family apart and destroyed everything - i could not care less, she is in the rear mirror, and I am happy. Still wish that I never would have married. I … | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/02/24 02:05 AM |
| 5 | How do you guys deal with the fact your ex-wives could pick anyone up in a week, but it might take you YEARS (or never)?Only until the crow feet start to show - and it is also a very big difference between being able to get passed around for sex and finding an actual partner that cherishes, respects and loves you. Pretty hard for women at a certain, not too advanced age. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/04/23 03:15 PM |
| 7 | How do you guys deal with the fact your ex-wives could pick anyone up in a week, but it might take you YEARS (or never)?Just search "women hitting the wall" on youtube - The wall is undefeated. She might ride the carousel for a while until she realizes (too late) that none of her Chads and Tyrones are actually committing - why would they? She is on the decline and in a few years will suddenly not be so hot anymore. It will get harder and harder to even get dates until finally it dawns on her: she had only looks to offer and nothing else. If you do the right things (exercise, diet, cultivate hobbies/interests) a m… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/04/23 03:11 PM |
| 4 | Divorced men in your 40s, have you had any success OLD?It is not you. It is women in general. They have heard their whole life how special and precious they are and internalized it. In turn, men hear from a very young age onwards to "better themselves." That's why we go to the gym, learn stuff, pursue different interests. There is a huge issue of entitlement, especially on the apps. For such "special" creatures, only the best is good enough. Nothing less will suffice. "I deserve that" is their mantra or "I am worth it." Why exactly that is, nobody k… | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/04/23 04:08 AM |
| 1 | Sock Day!Well done! Enjoy your freedom 😁👍 | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/04/23 10:52 AM |
| 2 | For those of you who were upfront before marriage and not willing to negotiate on having a prenup, trusts, and strategic legal separation (before the marriage, as crazy as that sounds), did it backfire on you? If so, did you regret it and would you do anything differently?I was absolutely not aware of the risk I took on, completely brainwashed by society's expectations. For me this was just "something one did before founding a family". What a fool I was. 10 years later, I have two small kids to support, overpay (since "high" earner) and wonder how stupid one could be. Oh well, that which does not destroy me... | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/04/23 10:44 AM |
| 6 | Does this ever happen?🤣🤣🤣 omg | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/04/23 07:47 AM |
| 7 | Does this ever happen?After reading through all the responses, I am seriously wondering if ALL women are just shitty or maybe only the ones that we here at this sub experienced. There might be some huge "divorce_men" related bias in play here. Or maybe not 🤔 | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/04/23 07:44 AM |
| 4 | Does this ever happen?Are you kidding? You are not a snake. You are doing the most appropriate thing. It's really a sad state of affairs that you are completely at the mother's mercy as ex-husband until children are 18. What an absolute joke. If it were not for the kids and horrendous CS, I would not even bother using cerebral energy on that cunt, just dead to me. But as it is, I also am the good schmuck who needs to keep things amicable and civil - after she had an affair and then left under pretense of "not happy a… | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/04/23 07:39 AM |
| 7 | Outside of not getting married, is there anything I can plan for legally in advance like trusts, taking note of assets before marriage thoroughly, and prenups?Oh, after the ride I had with my ex-wife in retrospect I would absolutely prefer to just have been single and hire an escort once a week - way more fun and wayyy cheaper over these ten years. I am not kidding! | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/04/23 07:33 AM |
| 2 | Did this kill anyone else’s Sex Drive?Just go to the urologist and get cialis. There is no familiarization effect. It works really well. Was in exactly that situation, and it sucked. Luckily, my girlfriend was very empathic and understanding, and now, with a little pharmaceutical help, everything works amazing 😁 | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/04/23 07:07 AM |
| 2 | Did this kill anyone else’s Sex Drive?Haha, yes I am also in the phase of watching a lot of grumpy men vids - it helps. MGTOW and stuff. Not so sure if the message will start to feel incorrect, though. But what do I know, I am also still very bitter, just as you described it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/04/23 06:35 AM |
| 1 | Did this kill anyone else’s Sex Drive?Heh, be careful what you wish for. I have no drive anymore, and it makes life easier for sure - no inner pressure to chase bunnies, but also a sad feeling of having lost something important and fun (sex is fun after all). I am on ED medication because it really sucks to have no drive or random horniness.. So be glad that you still got it 😉 I am 41 btw. | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/04/23 06:29 AM |
| 2 | Did this kill anyone else’s Sex Drive?You are not alone... I could not even rub one out if I had wanted to. Just numb and limp. It is now 6 months post separation, and I have a lovely girlfriend. I went to the urologist, and he prescribed cialis (10mg). It does wonders, and I am not ashamed. Does not make me less of a man, just a human. I hope and assume that with time comes forgetting and with that, everything will be back to normal. BTW. I am otherwise healthy. Healthy BMI, strength training thrice a week, high testosterone for my… | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/04/23 06:25 AM |
| 3 | It takes all my strength to even function for my kids.I'm not so sure - my wonderful ex-wife also "reconnected" with some guy from her past, but it was so close after our divorce that I assume it was an affair rather than "after divorce." So basically, she made a conscious decision to blow up our family for this guy - I would assume there is a bit more there than "just someone for holding hands." I'm not saying that your scenario is not absolutely laughable, but I am not sure if she will not just stick with the guy and be happily ever after. Of cou… | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/04/23 06:18 AM |
| 5 | Divorces initiated by women vs by men🤣🤣 the last paragraph is absolutely not wrong, still a very funny thought | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/04/23 05:16 AM |
| 4 | Divorces initiated by women vs by menBecause men have a sense of loyalty, decency, and conscientiousness - at least that was it for me. I was very aware of the fact that we have two small children who will lose their safe environment and worldview. I would have suffered my ex-wife for a lot longer, just to give them a happy childhood with an intact family. We were not openly hostile, and in my mind, we could actually easily have fixed all our issues. There were not really any except that she was never content with what we (ME!!) ha… | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/04/23 05:12 AM |
| 17 | And the picture is finally complete lol .Solid idea indeed | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/04/23 05:32 AM |
| 15 | And the picture is finally complete lol .🤣 I swear that is what I was experiencing to a T. Begging, pleading - "just not happy anymore" & "noooo, there is no one else - in fact I dont even want a relationship, I am probably not even capable." Ok, accepance, letting go. 5 weeks after divorce is finalized, she informs me via text message that there is now a new partner with his own kid (we have two) and she just wanted to tell me so I don't hear it from our kids first - just to do the "right thing". 🤣🤣🤣 Cunt is a very mild word for what … | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/04/23 05:31 AM |
| 8 | Spousal Support DisgustMarriage is the mother of all scams, absolutely disgusting. And you have almost no chance to realize it as a young man, full of (yet unrealized) potential and probably horny all the time and in love with rose tinted glasses on. What a horrible trap. Very sorry for you, I hope you can find solace in the fact that it will get easier. And do not forget that you may lose money but what you gain is so much more valuable: peace, quiet, freedom to make your own decisions. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/04/23 05:14 AM |
| 3 | Relationships seem like a boring & annoying waste of time now.Yes, at that age (41) there are just two possible choices - either single mothers (huge red flag because I feel the same as you) or just single at 35 - something is usually wrong with them as well. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/04/23 08:18 AM |
| 1 | Wife wants a second child and I don’t. She threatened divorce over this.Yes, exactly - she just has more leverage and threat hanging over you with two children instead of one. With every additional child it will be way harder for you to stand up for yourself. Eventually you will be divorced anyway but instead of paying for one child you will pay for two. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/04/23 08:04 AM |
| 1 | Wife wants a second child and I don’t. She threatened divorce over this.I can tell you one thing - I am divorced with 2 children. And MAN do I wish it was only 1 child I have to pay for. It would make things much less strained on my finances. Fuck my ex-wife for pressuring me into having children. I did not want them, but her tears and my (then) love for her made me give in. Now our kids are 5 and 7 and she decided that it was time to move on ("not happy anymore, yadda yadda") - already to the next guy (6 weeks after finalizing), playing patchwork family with his 10… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/04/23 08:02 AM |
| 8 | The way I vet women after divorce is kind of coldThe question is: Vetting for what? You are not seriously considering marriage again, do you? ... At least I don't and never will again after finding out that marriage is nothing more than a contract where one party (the lesser earning "lazy" part, in my case my ex-wife) will be rewarded plentily for breaking it. If I only knew what I know now about vetting a woman and what to look for. E.g. I would not have married a woman with divorced parents - of course that set an example to her that this is… | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/03/23 11:08 AM |
| 1 | Fleishman is in Trouble - My wife and marriageIt was entertaining, but most men are certainly in a different spot. He earns very well, and she still makes a lot more. So he was not financially screwed over at all. That is just the most obvious misrepresentation of the usual circumstances. Not even talking about psycho games that women normally play. Still liked it, mostly because I like Jesse Eisenberg. | /r/Divorce_Men | 27/03/23 05:04 AM |
| 1 | Venting methodsThat gun idea seems dangerous. Do not fantasize about harming anyone while actually going through the physical motions. This forms a pattern in your brain that just might trigger you to do it in the heat of the moment. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/03/23 06:03 AM |
| 7 | Advice to men: It is very difficult or impossible to recover financially from a divorce after a long marriage, you are almost always better off hiding assets and risking a penalty vs certainty of lower living standard for the rest of your lifeDon't be so bleak. I got to keep the house, and the only thing that changed was that all my savings are gone and my cost of living went higher by child support for two kids. So my savings rate is lower now, and it will take a few years to create a nice nest egg again, but my living circumstances did not change - except for the better. The constant nagging and stress are gone, and also, I have the kids only every other weekend, which means a lot of time on my own in my big ass house. Peaceful and… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/03/23 05:52 AM |
| 7 | After divorce what awaits:My vote goes to the Datsun 😋 Congratz on getting out in better shape! | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/03/23 07:03 AM |
| 4 | How to watch for sudden divorce?Yeah thanks, actually really not bad. I am glad to have learned a big (if expensive) lesson about women and family law. Would have preferred not to learn it that way and leave two children uprooted. Other than that, I could not care less about a person I used to love and do everything and anything for. Oh well 🤷♂️ thats life. My life really got better, way less stress, no demands, I can do my own thing now. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/03/23 05:47 PM |
| 26 | How to watch for sudden divorce?She started joking about divorce (just once or twice). I immediately reacted very seriously along the lines that this is nothing that we should joke about. Shook me to my core, but did not show her. A few weeks later a lot of fighting started out of the blue over insignificant things. I did not quite realize that most of it was instigated and forced by her. She escalated the intensity and one time left for two weeks - took the children with. Told me, she visited her mother. Well, that was half a… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/03/23 02:22 AM |
| 7 | Who else has noticed...True, single women over 35 are just damaged goods. Declining looks and in return you get so much baggage, demands, entitlement. As if they don't realize their value goes down with age, not up lol. It's quite hilarious, but it makes it harder to find a nice relationship. Until then just use for pleasure and discard 🤷🏻♂️ | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/03/23 06:35 AM |
| 4 | Who else has noticed...The most interesting part is, that some women really seem to need that - if I set strong boundaries and really call them out on their bullshit, they seem to be even more interested in me and eager to please. Just like they always say that girls go for "assholes". Although I am no asshole, but certainly a much less "nice guy" (never read that book though). It's sooo nice to be able to do this. You never could in a marriage because of the constant implicit threat of financial destruction. Marriage… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/03/23 06:26 AM |
| 5 | Who else has noticed...Same 😆 except for the money part... I pay about 30% of my net in CS but on the flipside I only got to take care of them every other weekend. It is peaceful. When I have them, we have a very good time and when I am alone I can unwind and relax. In regard to women I feel the same - I am at peace, I can live my life at exactly the pace I want to. No nagging, no demands, no plans that get made for me, no matter if I agree or not. It must be a VERY special lady that I let her take any control in MY l… | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/03/23 06:13 AM |
| 7 | A Limp EmbarrassmentCan confirm. I am also experiencing ED issues with my new girlfriend, half a year after separation. Still obliged to see ex-wife, since also two kids. Cialis (10mg) works very well for me - can recommend. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/03/23 04:58 PM |
| 4 | AngryThat's how it's done, king 👑 I am curious if mine will ever want to reconnect or make amends. Not that I will much care either. As you said - not only did she fuck me over but also our kids that she so desperately wanted. Now everything is just about her own happiness. Not the kid's, certainly not mine. I have given that woman everything. And what I got in return was being robbed of a huge chunk of money and the opportunity to see my kids grow up in an intact, happy family. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/03/23 12:40 PM |
| 7 | My kid mentioned something that broke my heartYeah that's probably what my wife told her new guy too 🤔 - six weeks after divorce (3 months after moving out) she already introduced him to our children. I am certain that she knows him way longer. Just be careful. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/03/23 10:17 AM |
| 13 | My kid mentioned something that broke my heartOh no, why would you get married again and to a woman with three kids? Why is the father no longer in the picture? | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/03/23 08:55 AM |
| 1 | AngryDude chill ;-) I am pretty sure she will never again get the opportunity to play me. Maybe another poor schmuck, but I will not be played by another woman ever again. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/03/23 07:19 AM |
| 3 | Angrylol - if you put it like that we (divorced men) really were morons for doing so. Yup, you hit the nail on the head. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/03/23 07:17 AM |
| 9 | I don’t know how much more I can take"my wife does not work and we seem to do good that way". No - "you" are not doing good that way. She is doing good. You are just taking advantage of. She basically is a bum, feeding off of your hard work and instead of supporting you in ALL other areas of life, she makes it harder. You completely provide for the family alone, yet you also are obliged to take care of the kids while she goes to some fucking beauty treatment? My man, I am very very sorry for the situation you are in because clearly… | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/03/23 04:58 AM |
| 9 | AngryThe problem is not that she "wasn't mine". I could not care less. What riles me up is that she stole half of everything I earned after breaking her vows I so gullibly believed in 🤷🏻♂️ | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/03/23 07:00 PM |
| 16 | AngryThank you - yes you pretty much described exactly what I suspect to have happened. What a fool I was. After all that I am also pretty certain that marriage (for men) is just a horrible idea. I am just glad this sub exists - if it scares off one single young man it has fulfilled its purpose. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/03/23 06:49 PM |
| 7 | Ex finally popped up on online datingRight on 😂 My ex recently informed me via a very dry text message that she now has a new partner. I really just thought, "Good luck, on to the next poor schmuck" | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/03/23 11:16 AM |
| 5 | Wife is becoming more of a feminist every dayI am clairvoyant - I can totally see your future 😂 man, I am so glad to be free of this shit. Divorce was fucking expensive, but for me still worth it. Never again obliged to listen to something like this and not being able to just say "are you fucking mental?" | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/03/23 07:45 AM |
| 3 | How did divorce change you emotionally?What a goldmine. Thanks for putting it so concise! | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/03/23 05:15 PM |
| 3 | What would you guys do?Well, don't do it again then ☝️😅 | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/03/23 12:02 PM |
| 13 | What would you guys do?I too consider every woman with child & divorced to have a very high probability to be a homewrecker. They really are only ever good for bed, not for building up something lasting. And most of them don't even realize this particular ramification of their past actions. They still think, they are the prize 😂🙈 poor misguided creatures. It is on us men, if we fall for this trick a second time. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/03/23 11:25 AM |
| 13 | What would you guys do?"buy a supercar" 😂 spoken like this was a thing for a regular guy with child support & alimony payments. But yes, it's a nice thought and I agree... women are just not a priority anymore for me either. Just a nice addition to MY life. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/03/23 11:05 AM |
| 4 | What would you guys do?😂 Who does not know the dilemma? I would definitely suggest getting a vasectomy to create irrevocable facts. I will if it does not work out with my current girlfriend (she can't have children, medically impossible). | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/03/23 11:02 AM |
| 7 | 9 months in, women are beggining to show interest in me. How to behave?Well, I wish you the best of luck. I can understand the urge to procreate, it seems to be a strong emotional driver for most women and some men. If you can't live a fulfilled life without that, then you obviously have to roll the dice on some partner to build a family. It is just really a very big game of chance and you just can't predict how a person will change over just a few short years. When we were young I seriously though that my wife would make a great mother. She was driven by nothing e… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/03/23 10:49 AM |
| 6 | 9 months in, women are beggining to show interest in me. How to behave?It's easy to see once one lived it 😂 ... did not mean to sound too harsh actually. I really love them and care for them. They are sweet kids and I am doing my very best to give them a good and happy childhood. But now I only get to see them every other week, which actually works out great since the rest of the time is "me" time again. I also pay for them through the nose though. If I had the choice again I would rather not have had them at all than what hass happened with my life so far. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/03/23 07:41 AM |
| 9 | 9 months in, women are beggining to show interest in me. How to behave?Just don't have kids. It royally impacts your life and not really in a positive way. Trust me, I have two and mostly because of some diffuse notion of what society expects of a man. And of course, constant nagging from my (then lovely) wife, now ex-wife. It is a trap. You will lose yourself, your free time, your friends, your hobbies, your energy. In return you get expectations, pressure and will feel trapped as fuck since you of course feel and are responsible for them. You will go from romanti… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/03/23 04:07 AM |
| 5 | 9 months in, women are beggining to show interest in me. How to behave?She has shown you exactly what she does, once a man will not give her what she wants/expects. Last time around, there was a problem with his genes, "she divorced him and moved on." That was a man she obviously "loved" since they were married. I put "love" in quotes since it mostly does not exist - at least not in an unconditional form. It is only some collection of expectations they have in a partner. What will she do to you once you have given her one or two children, and for some reason, you d… | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/03/23 03:56 AM |
| 6 | Ex asking to do things as a familyYou "genuinly don't want to see her" 🤷🏻♂️ One of the most positive things that came from my divorce was that I no longer was obligated to do things even if I did not want to do them - just for our relationships sake. If you genuinely don't want to see her, then don't. | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/03/23 07:55 PM |
| 12 | You can’t make this shit up.Not even close 😂 | /r/Divorce_Men | 05/03/23 07:06 AM |
| 4 | Gotta vent to you guysNot until the day you die my dude, don't state thus so bleak 😅 they will get older, more self reliant and eventually these things are not important anymore. But yes, for a few years this will have to be put up with. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/03/23 06:32 AM |
| 7 | Check this outJup, for real - but you know what... I really did "man up". I accepted it, moved on with my life, have a nice time with my kids (every other week) and generally am pretty content - actually happy. So the first few panels are accurate AF - if she had an affair I don't know. She just went on to "find herself". The key is certainly to not just mope and drink... for a time I did that of course, but now my life is slowly imroving to the point where its already better than before the divorce. Fuck em,… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/03/23 02:07 PM |
| 10 | Check this outOh shit, reading some of the comments - sad stuff. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/03/23 01:04 PM |
| 2 | Every "single mom" in OLDWell, bitches be crazy. Fuck her then. Hope you are doing alright. I can tell you one thing: Now that everything is over (finalized 6 weeks ago), I feel so much more at peace. I can do what I want, I don't need to do what I do not want. Nobody expecting anything from me (implicitly or explicitly). | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/03/23 05:32 AM |
| 1 | Why do wives try to show minor affection during a divorce (living together)?Bitches be crazy, that's "why". I have stopped to wonder about what motivates women or what they actually want. I can just tell you one thing: Now that I am divorced, I am so much more at peace. Accept it, move on and be damn glad that you are rid of a person that demands things "just because", feels entitled (to you listening to stupid nightmare stories) and even tries to emotionally manipulate you (because that's what it is when she just randomly tells you "I love you" while at the same time d… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/03/23 05:30 AM |
| 1 | It's a tough time reading this boardKnowing what you know now you probably wouldn't have gotten married in the first place 😅 dame outcome, more money | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/02/23 08:29 AM |
| 1 | It's a tough time reading this boardYes, I am divorced and I love it. We have two kids (5 and 7) and were 13 years together, 10 years married. She decided to go "find herself" - really did a very unexpected 180 on so many things. We had a great life, great family, sex was also good. Of course there were compromises and times when we struggled but mostly petty things and stress that comes with small children. I am of course financially strained but will survive. The freedom is undescribable for me. I used to wotk and build and prov… | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/02/23 07:32 AM |
| 8 | She’s on a path of destructionCondolences - that is the same question on my mind as well... what do I tell the kids when they are older and ask me what happened? I don't even understand myself why she did what she did. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/02/23 01:16 PM |
| 1 | 👉 The grieving process that every man should go through after divorce !👈Maybe yes - but then it was damn fast 🤷♂️ | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/02/23 04:24 PM |
| 5 | 👉 The grieving process that every man should go through after divorce !👈Well, that was superfluous, sorry. Titled "every man" and ending with "may look different for every person." Mkay - my process is pretty much not what you outlined - yes, I'm angry and bitter because I feel scammed. At the same time, I am (and that is the prevalent feeling) relieved and happy that I now get to live life as I alone see fit. Do the things I like, don't do the things I hate. Already got lucky and dating a nice, pretty, and fun girl who is - to top it all off - as big a horndog as m… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/02/23 03:03 PM |
| 3 | Has Anyone Ever Decided to Throw it All In?That's one way to look at it - but (from my own experience) it actually works quite well to keep the same attitude (I will not do shit that I do not want to) while dating. It is actually pretty amazing to be able to "stand your ground" - because you are no longer married and therefore there is no real "threat" (financial, emotional) left. I am dating and it feels liberating to just say and do exactly what you expect and want. And you know what else? I think my girlfriend kind of digs it that I a… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/02/23 06:08 AM |
| 1 | For whatever it is worth, fellas, it gets better after it is overWell, the "wealthier" part depends in no small part on if there are children and if she was a stay-at-home bum - ahem, mom. I definitely did not end up wealthier (2 small kids, sahm), but way less stress and way less constant demands. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/02/23 05:46 PM |
| 3 | For whatever it is worth, fellas, it gets better after it is overCan confirm. Love everything about it. Separated 7 months ago, divorced in january. I feel sooo free, can do what I want, and best of all, I must not do what I don't want. So much less stress. Love it. Child support is a bitch, financially I went from not caring about money (I earn pretty well) to being strained and really thinking about if I need that stuff that I want, always buying in bulk and on sale, getting frugal. Believe it or not, I even like the routine with the kids. See them every ot… | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/02/23 05:43 PM |
| 2 | How are we supposed to afford to live?SHE will put it to better use - the money that might actually be due to you. I know it's a tight rope balancing act. I am not saying pay 1000s for representation. Just get some (normally cheap er even free) first consultations. You need to stand up for yourself. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/02/23 02:24 PM |
| 1 | How are we supposed to afford to live?Does not sound right - get a lawyer. It should be only half of the difference since you only pay for half the time. The other half you support the kids anyway? | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/02/23 02:19 PM |
| 7 | How are we supposed to afford to live?Put yourself first! I know it sounds harsh, but if you get destroyed in the process, you will be no good to anyone, which includes your kids. You need to take care of yourself first and foremost. Men (at least I did) tend to not fight fierce enough for themselves during divorce and only later realize that they got fucked a lot harder than would have been necessary. Go get some legal counseling, do not move out before that! Chin up, when this is over you will become your own boss again! | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/02/23 02:16 PM |
| 1 | How are we supposed to afford to live?Why would you pay child support if you split them 50/50? At least it should not be very much? | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/02/23 02:12 PM |
| 3 | Can anyone help me feel better about my financial situation I’m about to enter?This is unfortunately the very sad reality. But with your income can't you maybe not just downsize? I stayed in the house, can barely pay it off (no disposable income or savings rate left). Also have 2 kids which she has 80%, therefore paying boatloads of alimony So I'm struggling but still hanging on by a thread. I am thinking very hard about just selling the house and moving into a one bedroom, much cheaper. The house is wayyyy too big for me alone anyway 🤷🏻♂️ Yes, it's a fucked up situation … | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/02/23 06:09 PM |
| 1 | Every "single mom" in OLDWell, poor soul, then you are stuck with crazy and entitled most of the time 😂 | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/02/23 06:33 AM |
| 1 | After divorce, I _______No, the divorce itself was "cheap" - it was a no fault, not even lawyers involved since the law is pretty straightforward. But since she took 50% of "our" net worth and we basically now have to lead two lives instead of one with the same combined income (most of it mine), it puts a heavy strain on financials. For me, it's even harder because I pay child support - about 30% of my net income for the next 15 to 20 years (depending on if they go to university) | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/02/23 05:51 AM |
| 5 | Every "single mom" in OLDMe too 😜 was not really a joke, always been very open and bi interested. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/02/23 08:37 PM |
| 8 | Every "single mom" in OLDNah, its not that bad with me but I've certainly learned to not trust so easily ever again. I am a very hard working guy and basically half of all I ever built up got just stolen. No loyalty, no fairness... so I'm the appropriate amount of bitter, but not that much honestly 😅 | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/02/23 03:01 PM |
| 4 | Every "single mom" in OLDHaha, so true - I don't even want to know how she justifies what she did in before her family, friends and also herself. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/02/23 12:35 PM |
| 7 | Every "single mom" in OLDI don't know if that was meant accusatorily and at this point I'm too afraid to ask. In any case - one can be idly interested in certain subs without dwelling on everything 24/7 in a dark basement. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/02/23 10:36 AM |
| 18 | Every "single mom" in OLD🤣🤣 oh well - time to get a dog and on Grindr I guess. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/02/23 10:34 AM |
| 1 | Every "single mom" in OLDDon't we all (wish we had realized some things earlier in life) 😅 oh well - some lessons are just more expensive than others | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/02/23 10:32 AM |
| 1 | Every "single mom" in OLDThanks - It really got me thinking when I wrote the above. Maybe there are 50 year olds that are still hot AF. I mean I am also still very fit, attributing to 25 years of consitent strength training. It is just very rate to find a woman who has done the same thing 🤷♂️ But I will take your word for it and maybe try to broaden my range. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/02/23 07:24 AM |
| 6 | Every "single mom" in OLDOh yeah - I know what you mean. Every time I look at the face of my ex-wife it's really curious. Like she is another person now wirh a different - and way less attractive/cute face than I thought just a few years ago. Unfortunately we have children so I have to look at that regularly. Very weird. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/02/23 07:12 AM |
| 5 | Every "single mom" in OLDWow - that's deep. Thank you. You are correct, I make my own life. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/02/23 05:58 AM |
| 6 | After divorce, I _______Same - she really fucked up my financial long term plan. We could have retired in our mid-50s. Now we will both work until 65 - but at least she now has a top-tier chance to "find herself." I hope she will like what she finds. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/02/23 05:51 AM |
| 18 | Every "single mom" in OLDI'm 41 - I don't think that age is particularly kind to women's appearance. Call me shallow, but I would like to date a woman who is reasonable attractive to me. What do you think women that are older (50s) bring to the table to compensate (except more emotional baggage and entitlement)? | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/02/23 05:41 AM |
| 3 | How to deal with the alone timePick up guitar playing - it is actually not that hard to learn, tons of material online (good courses, paid & free). And it impresses the hell out of ladies 😉 Other things: Strenght training, research and apply healthy eating (researching on youtube, reddit, etc. - what an incredible time sink!) Also chess can occupy me for hours on end... Just try and find some hobbies I guess. I am in the same boat - two kids which I only see every other week, but thats ok since I really like filling my time w… | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/02/23 08:36 PM |
| 9 | Is there even a point to marriage anymore? Are women really this immature in the aggregate?I've read all her comments and I would implore her: Leave him. He seems like a normal person and she seems like a woman that will eventually divorce him anyway, but probably not before nagging him for one or two kids and to get a house together. He will be finacially and emotionally destroyed in the process and pay through the nose. So yes - just leave him now and save him from all that shit that she will do to him anyway. She sounds completely delusional. If only my own ex-wife would have reali… | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/02/23 09:44 AM |
| 3 | I'm so scared of the unknown, what the other side looks like.Woah - I just read all the comments on here and thought I should counter with my story: Hey! How old are you? I am 41 and divorced for just about a month now - but separated for 4. Been married for 10 years, together for 13. Two children (5 & 7) who I have every other week for a weekend. Sooo.... I can tell you that it is glorious! And that is coming from someone who does not have many friends and who is actually much more introverted than outgoing. I don't like to go out that much, but I don't … | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/02/23 01:09 PM |
| 3 | Divorced men over 50 why us?That's not my takeaway from "Rational Male" so far. It tries to explain how extremely lopsided relationships really are and what the hidden and not so hidden agenda of women as a whole and also individually is. To me, it sounds like a very powerful warning to men. It's best not to play the game at all. Unfortunately, the warning came too late for me, but at least it explains pretty well what I could not realize in my late 20s and so I will pay in my 40s 🤷🏻♂️ oh well. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/02/23 08:55 PM |
| 2 | How do I save this marriage?I was in the same exact situation - small mistakes that got blown way out of proportion. She slept on the couch. What can I tell you - I am very sorry because it was an unbelievably hard time for me as well. We were married for 10 years, together for 13. We have two children - 5 and 7. Our divorce was finalized last week on Tuesday and now I am officially single again. She got half the assets I alone have built (since she was actually pretty lazy and all the providing hinged on me). She got a ve… | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/01/23 06:15 AM |
| 3 | What to do with the children?Ah thanks! Yes, since it's winter here, most things suggested are not really viable, but we have indeed an ice skating ring nearby... will take a look tomorrow 😄👍 | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/01/23 04:43 PM |
| 16 | Anyone elses ex or stbxw really hot?Wow that's a good read. You are absolutely correct. Ideas of attraction change - and I myself also found that a woman who "handles her shit" is amazing - after having to litereally drag my ex-wife along through life, providing for everything (hence a shitty deal in divorce court to add insult to injury), it is soooo refreshing to find out that there are women out there who can provide for themselves - I find that extremely attractive. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/01/23 08:41 AM |
| 4 | Anyone elses ex or stbxw really hot?Receding hairline means high testosterone levels (I think I recall reading about that connection somewhere). Which means you are a good lay with a hard cock - much more important to women than a full head of hair. If it gets too bothersome, just shave it off and look like Jason Statham. Of course you'd have to pack on some muscle, but that is easy my man! Look into healthy diets (I would suggest keto/carnivore). Eat lots of meat, stay away from carbs. Go into the gym twice or thrice a week. You … | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/01/23 08:23 AM |
| 10 | How do u guys trust women again? Or can you?Well, I believe the council of men has decided :D ... and I agree 100%. Never ever will I trust a woman again. The risk is just too high, the reward basically non existent. So that I can have someone in my life that could turn around at any moment and for any reason and take half my shit? Thanks, but no thanks. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/01/23 04:48 AM |
| 4 | How to protect myself in the future (wife is low income)As I've written above. There was nothing wrong with my wife 10 years ago as well. I loved her more than anything (still do). She is getting a divorce because she "is not happy anymore". Basically she brainwashed herself through a few insane self finding seminars. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/01/23 04:54 AM |
| 16 | How to protect myself in the future (wife is low income)Ouch. Yes, that's what I thought in regard to my wife of 10 years too. Today we have the court appointment for our "amicable" divorce. She will take half of everything I earned within those 10 years as well as child support for the next 15 years. I will probably lose my house (although I get to keep it in the divorce, I'm not sure that I will be able to continue paying the mortgage. The older the kids get, the more child support will be due. OP: The reason she is getting a divorce is literally b… | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/01/23 04:51 AM |
| 1 | We will finalize in two daysVery good advice, thank you! | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/01/23 07:00 PM |
| 1 | We will finalize in two daysYou are not wrong - it's what I'm used to... but with time I will hopefully be able to fill the emptiness with something nice and most importantly of my own choosing for once. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/01/23 06:59 PM |
| 2 | We will finalize in two daysYou are correct - there really was, but not anymore. It definitely will not be all bad - still hard to lose so much - not only in terms of money but also imagined future and shared past. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/01/23 06:40 PM |
| 2 | We will finalize in two daysI'm definitely looking forward to not feel "used" and exploited. I did everything right - according to what we agreed upon when we started this family. I was the best provider she could wish for. And even if that would have been actually her part of the deal I did a lot of "family building" and "homeliness" stuff. So basically I did it all. And that was a big mistake. She did not have to work, I earned enought for a great lifestyle for all four of us. For the last few years I knew exactly what w… | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/01/23 06:39 PM |
| 3 | Reminder: Wait at least one year after Divorce before dating.I hear you, brother 🫤 It will turn out well for the both of us - I think divorce is something profoundly eye opening and transformative for a lot of men - never again will I put a woman on a pedestal basically just because she looks nice and feels soft to the touch. My requirements have risen significantly, and I got very watchful. I bring so much more to the table (as a lot of men) than most women nowadays. And I guess that's also something a man has to learn. In our 20s, women hold all the car… | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/01/23 12:11 PM |
| 5 | Reminder: Wait at least one year after Divorce before dating.I understand your attitude completely but at the same time recognize how unique every single person / situation really is E.g. it makes total sense that you made that deal with yourself - you recognized how damaging it was for years to simp after a woman, swore to never do it again, and stick to it - commendable! My situation is completely different. I loved my wife and with good reason. I would not say that we were soulmates but certainly a good match. Good life, good sex, we were really happy,… | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/01/23 06:21 AM |
| 3 | Reminder: Wait at least one year after Divorce before dating.Yes - already doing it, lol.... but to be fair, it is a mighty big difference to just date a lady or let her move in or (god forbid) marry (never again!). There are nuances. I have met a nice girl and we both have emotional damage, which we acknowledged and talked about. So basically we both said "let's fuck and enjoy our time together" and that's what we are doing. She is not about to move in and I am certainly not about to let her. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/01/23 08:17 AM |
| 3 | I'm in the anger stage of grief, and it has opened my eyes to the truth of marriage.Yo, you summed it up pretty well - all work, liability and risk is on the man. I found out the hard way as well. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/01/23 06:31 PM |
| 1 | Erectile Dysfuncion after divorce - common?Yeah sure, will research - but gives a starting point... thanks a bunch 😊 will report back | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/01/23 03:31 PM |
| 1 | Erectile Dysfuncion after divorce - common?Oh wow - I will try that since my circulation generally seems bad - always cold hands and feet... The powder I've found has l-arg:cit in 2:1.6 ratio - does that sound about right? The Taurin caosules would be 1000mg each? | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/01/23 03:23 PM |
| 1 | Erectile Dysfuncion after divorce - common?Haha, plow on brother! I am actually pretty fit, lift heavy 3x a week and Testosterone is at 800, pretty high for 41 y.o. But as many, here have said, it might just need time... "too much too fast" seems pretty spot on. At least the pills my doc gave me work marvellous... Tadalafil is really something. Tried it last weekend (got a girlfriend now) and ... "plowing" is the term thst could be used 😄 Without the pills absolutely nothing was possible though 🙄 | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/01/23 02:41 PM |
| 1 | Erectile Dysfuncion after divorce - common?Hehe - nah, I admit it... it still sucks. And of course it is also just weird to basically feel nothing down there, even when I touch myself... I'm weirdet out by it but totally recognize that it is the circumtances (was at the doc and everything seems fine... even pretty high testostetone of 800ng/dl at 41 y.o.) | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/01/23 01:25 PM |
| 1 | Erectile Dysfuncion after divorce - common?Thank you so much for sharing - you are probably spot on... it is an emotional thing - I went to the doc already, physiologically everything seems in order. He prescribed Tandafil (Cialis) and that works pretty well. Hopefully I will not depend on it for too long 😅 As you say - just some milage on the clock probably. Very sorry for you, 26 years seems insane - for me it was "just" 13... still pretty hard to process. | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/01/23 12:59 PM |
| 7 | Was divorce the biggest failure of your life?Well it was the biggest mistake of my life to get married to this idiot, ungrateful, selfish bitch. Same exact story - she is just not happy anymore after I spent the best years of my life to work my ass off and give her EVERYTHING she wanted - including two kids I will be paying for over the next 15-20 years. Financially and emotionally in a destroyed state - but I will just put my head down, work hard (as I'm used to) and make the best of it. The only failure is on her part. Did not hold up he… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/01/23 08:41 AM |
| 3 | Erectile Dysfuncion after divorce - common?Basically the thing that we quarrelled over recently was all her self-help bullshit (she took seminars where she would be away from home for a week straight, leaving everything to me - I was the sole breadwinner and had two small kids to attend to). This was like 6-7 weeks in the last year. The seminars where fucking expensive and where intended for her to literally find a way to be happy since she just could not be content with everything "we" (I) built - which was a lot. She was never happy wi… | /r/Divorce_Men | 03/01/23 06:18 AM |
| 2 | Erectile Dysfuncion after divorce - common?Thats good to hear - was at the urologist for a checkup and everything seems ok physiology wise - he prescribed me some Cialis which serms to work well.... | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/01/23 10:17 PM |
| 3 | Erectile Dysfuncion after divorce - common?Yeah I was at the doc last week and got Cialis (similar to Viagra). It helps pretty well... but of course I would prefer to not depend on it 😅 Thanks for your comment! My libido is of course also in the toilet as well since I'm basically dead below the waist. Perfect timing to get a girlfriend 🙈 | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/01/23 08:48 PM |
| 4 | Erectile Dysfuncion after divorce - common?Heh, got to admit that I drank a bit more than usual... not completely overboard though. I already train 2-3 times a week so that's covered. Dropped porn maybe two weeks ago - can you remember how long it took for that to have an effect? Thanks! | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/01/23 08:45 PM |
| 1 | Any positive stories here?Oh they sure need the man to pay for her kids... other than that you are correct | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/01/23 09:31 AM |
| 5 | Men, Marriage and Michelle ObamaI could have easily dismissed that as misogynistic drivel ten years ago. Now that I've lived it I unfortunately only can say: sounds about right. | /r/Divorce_Men | 31/12/22 11:54 AM |
| 1 | Thank you to all the men here sharing your stories! They helpAnd a costly at that looking at the numbers... juuuust like mine lol | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/12/22 06:17 PM |
| 20 | Getting marriedDuuude, you know exactly what needs to be done. I loved my wife more than anything in the world, I trusted her completely. 13 years later she successfully pressured me into having two kids, she was SAHM, I wad busting my ass - now she is a different person, I literally don't know her anymore. Taking me to the cleaners, no sense of loyalty or fairness, just "not happy anymore". I would give anything to just have the oportunity to cut her lose retroactively... | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/12/22 09:16 PM |
| 1 | She just does not know how to be happyNot really if the father dignificantly outearns the mother. Everything skewed against men, so liberal, feminist and forward thinking 😑 | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/12/22 02:01 PM |
| 2 | There’s always someone elseWell - thanks for confirming that I married the wrong one... But I knew that already - and so did you, considering the sub we are in :D | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/12/22 12:34 PM |
| 2 | Is it better to have loved than lost? Or to have never loved at all?Love is great. Marriage is not. I loved my STBX like I never loved before. And she did me. That's why I married her. That's why I let her pressure me into having children. Well - people change. After 13 years she is now leaving (already moved out) with two young children I will have to pay for for at least 15 years, possibly longer if they go to college. So yes - it is infinitely better to not do this. Love all you want - but NEVER marry and NEVER make children with any of these lunatics. Far to… | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/12/22 03:24 PM |
| 2 | She just does not know how to be happyWell what is there to say about it? .... I guess never marry. And definitely never re-marry. After men have gone through what we have, they probably wont. Well at least I don't plan to... Next stop vasectomy, just to be sure. Damn me if I ever get trapped just because she seems lovely for a few years before revealing the actual crazy, lazy, selfish. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/12/22 02:52 PM |
| 2 | Merry ChristmasGreetings from my basement, where I enjoy an intense workout session in the home gym... its definitely a good idea to challange yourself physically alone on Christmas morning for the first time... Stay strong brothers and thank you OP ♥️ | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/12/22 11:56 AM |
| 3 | First Christmas divorced.Sounds like my own emotional state as well (see post history for a bit of background). At first I thought I'm just "numb" - but maybe it is just my personal flavor of sadness and grieving... a bit dialed back and very much from the head instead of the heart. It's not been that long since she moved out with the kids. I occasionally just burst into tears for a minute just because of some tearjerk song. It never lasts long though. I really would like to just cry for half an hour and let it all out,… | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/12/22 07:41 AM |
| 1 | She just does not know how to be happyHehe, yes you may be right - there might be some pathology to it. Definitely the "crazy" part. I am really curious how it all will turn out for her. It's a bummer that she will be financially secure on my dime, otherwise I could probably watch her crash and burn in no time. Child support is calculated as percentage of the income and since I earn quite good, she walks away having her housing & utility completely covered by me. Unbelievable - all she had to do is say "sorry, not happy" and walks a… | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/12/22 07:11 AM |
| 2 | She just does not know how to be happyNo we are not - that shit seems to be sooo common it's ridiculous 🙄🙉 what I wouldn't give to have had someone in my life at 28 to explain this to me. I will make damn sure my son will get all the facts once he is old enough... | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/12/22 07:00 AM |
| 2 | She just does not know how to be happyJup, sounds about right - honestly after all I've read here I would not be too surprised to later find out she is actually monkey branching to the next dude... but I have no idea how that would be possible - organizational and time wise. Forgot to mention that after the house and shortly before the "I don't love you anymore" we also HAD to have two young cats. So all my furniture is completely fucked up and cat pissed on in the course of 6 weeks - thats about the time frame between "there are th… | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/12/22 06:58 AM |
| 3 | She just does not know how to be happyI dont think so, but who knows. I thought our sex life was pretty good - 2-3x per week and always looked after her having a good time (orgasm). She never reallx said that something was not to her liking and we had a lot of variety - so I don't think that sex was a main driver behind her move. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/12/22 10:51 PM |
| 11 | She just does not know how to be happyYes - we are just absolute fools when it comes to coochie it seems 😂🙈 I can't think of why else I would have done myself in so bad. | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/12/22 01:14 PM |
| 11 | She just does not know how to be happyThere you go, king: 👑 😉 Happy for you, damn lucky to not have kids in the picture, otherwise I could do the exact same thing... | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/12/22 01:12 PM |
| 12 | She just does not know how to be happy"let society convince me" really resonates with me. So much in my life I have done just because it is "the proper thing to do" - should have listened to what I truly wanted (it was not really the whole family/house/suburbs routine). But alas I loved her and she was a damn good manipulator | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/12/22 01:07 PM |
| 5 | She just does not know how to be happyYes - same as mine: no hobbies, not interests... just coasting through life trying to have as much change, diversion, "adventures" as possible, but nothing of substance. I can and I will be what you outlined. Generally I'm a gym goer, self-improver type so I will be fine. But it is really hard to come to terms with the fact that I basically start over financially after all I already have put in, after wasting my best earning years just for all the wealth I created for us to evaporate. I'm 41 btw… | /r/Divorce_Men | 24/12/22 01:02 PM |
| 20 | She is struggling.Well I have to say I absolutely would relish to watch my ex struggle, crash and burn after what she has done to our family for absolutely no reason other than "I'm not happy anymore" - leaving a path of destruction in my and the childrens' life but running around with absolute bliss on her face because now she has such newfound "freedom". Well the freedom will soon fade and the happiness will fade as well and she might just realize that all this did not make her any happier because she actually … | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/12/22 02:53 PM |
| 2 | Girls Night Out Forever.Absolutely correct. She did not gain one bit. Just pure destruction. She is a 35 year old single mother of two now, close to hitting the wall, no carreer. What the fuck does she think her life will become in a few years? Does she think "Mr. Right" is around the corner? We had SUCH a great life. House, Garden, happy kids, family barbecue on Sundays. Not even sex was an issue. I don't fucking understand it. I just don't. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/12/22 08:33 AM |
| 2 | Girls Night Out Forever.It is so often the exact same story - I did not write it down to give new information - just as cathartic exercise lol. Hang in there, we know what we are made of and we can get through this as well. Marcus Aurelius (stoicistic philosopher, cesar of rome) said it best: "Fuck it" or something to that effect. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/12/22 04:39 AM |
| 3 | Girls Night Out Forever.Thanks man - I will. I'm definitely going to do some talking therapy in the near future - after all christmas stress has come and gone lol.At least I'm lucky in the sense that I have a strong and caring family - brothers, sister, parents, a few friends. All came together as one to support me emotionally and also pledged financial support (if it ever should come to this, hope not though). So I'm fucking lucky and very gratefule for my support network - which I realize many do not have. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/12/22 04:34 AM |
| 1 | Girls Night Out Forever.lol - valid point. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/12/22 04:27 AM |
| 8 | Girls Night Out Forever.Thanks bro, I really appreciate every single message of encouragement on this sub - good to know that one is not alone... | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/12/22 07:01 PM |
| 10 | Girls Night Out Forever.Unfortunately - since no one talks about it - young men are just not aware. When I was dumb enough to propose I had literally no idea what that actually entailed. I thought that my wife and kids would be secured better in case something happens to me but that was about the extent of my knowledge. That a father would pay a fair share for children he puts into this world seemed expected - that "fair share" means literally the "whole share" because wifey could not be bothered and that 50% of all I … | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/12/22 07:00 PM |
| 14 | Girls Night Out Forever.Thanks man, will do... you too! And yes, obviously never marrying again - it is a scam of the highest order. Would have been way cheaper to pay an escort for company now and then for the last 13 years - and probably more enjoyable. | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/12/22 02:15 PM |
| 45 | Girls Night Out Forever.Yup - my case is pretty much the same. Shared history and what I've done for her and our family does not count one bit anymore - loyalty? What is that? We were 13 years together, 10 years married. She wanted kids soooo badly, so she got a beautiful little family. Our kids are now 5 and 8. Of course she wanted a house in a nice suburb to go along with it - who made it happen? Yours truly who literally did not have a vacation for 9 fucking years. I have a construction business and just worked thro… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/12/22 12:54 PM |
| 2 | this is more light-hearted but what's your go to recipe during weekI put a brick of ground beef into the air fryer, after cooking it I alt it, lay a slice of cheese on top and that's my meal. It's easy, has lots or protein, zero carbs and is quite delicious. That's what I eat most days. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/12/22 05:44 AM |
| 8 | Can I buy a house in my parent's name in order to prevent it from becoming marital property?Just DONT do it. I can tell you one thing: never in a million years did I think I would end up where I am now. People WILL change, you will grow, she will grow (or at least sidestep lol) and then she will suddenly be "just not happy anymore" - jup, that's all the explanation I got for her breaking our family apart. The woman you divorce is never the woman you married. As soon as children are involved, you WILL be on the hook - so be damn sure you really really really want kids. Don't do what I d… | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/12/22 11:48 AM |
| 2 | Am I "being strong" or just numb?Thanks for the compliment 😄 I always try to improve my english - written its pretty good but spoken it is sooo bad, really emberassing because in the heat of the moment I'm always super nervous and the right words won't come to me so it gets clunky. Anyway - what my wife will do now, I have no clue. It does not concern me any longer. I'm pretty sure she did not manage to make herself happier in the long run although right now she is in total bliss - her "new freedom" with a huge chunk of my savi… | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/12/22 08:01 PM |
| 2 | I can't shake the feeling that my marriage is entirely conditionalPhu, that is really hard to answer. The situation really depends on if this is "real" or just in your head. Maybe she also did some growing and sees things differently now than 8 years ago? Maybe she is even ashamed of how she acted - back then she was not ready to just "commit" because she was so young and still adventerous but realized now that what you guys have is way more precious than meaningless sex. It might be a good thing that she "got it out of her system"? Did you ever try to talk to… | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/12/22 05:10 AM |
| 1 | Am I "being strong" or just numb?Thanks - it really might be the way to go.... getting some therapy. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/12/22 04:53 AM |
| 2 | Am I "being strong" or just numb?I know this sounds probably like I'm a horrible dad (which I promise you I'm not), but from the start we talked about EOW-model and I am fine with that. The main reason nothing else really occurred to me (us) was that I never knew anything else tbh. I only ever had one divorce in my group of acquaintances and they also had this model, so I kind of thought this was the norm.I also read online that 50/50 was only possible if both parties earn about the same amount of money (this might be specific … | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/11/22 05:18 AM |
| 2 | Am I "being strong" or just numb?You are definitely right there - so far my divorce is going as good as it can in my opinion and those around me. Keeping a "cool head" certainly helps - even if it is just because I'm numb and not really even capable to be emotional. On the other hand my capacity for thinking does not seem impaired so I'm pretty convinced that the deal is not especially bad for me (e.g. I'm going to keep the house, which was a huge topic for me) | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/11/22 04:49 AM |
| 7 | Am I "being strong" or just numb?Thank you for the reply. Yes the train has left the station, you are absolutely right. Fortunately I have my family to support me and catch me when I have a bad day - it's something. | /r/Divorce_Men | 28/11/22 10:30 AM |
| 2 | DivorceI personally try it with stoicism. Just accepting what I cannot change. Works pretty well for the time being altough it might just be the fact that I can't feel anything because I'm totally numb. 😅 "Comfortably numb" one might call it. | /r/Divorce_Men | 26/11/22 09:47 AM |
| 1 | For what?Good luck to you sir! Whatever you eventually decide on will be the right choice. I will probably go the EOW route with one additional afternoon/optional sleepover. I will just try to make the most of our time together and use the remainder to make myself good and happy - also important I think. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/11/22 04:10 PM |
| 1 | For what?Yes it is the same situation for me - I work 45 hours but I could organize it relatively flexible (self employed). But still, the work has to be done for the money to come rolling in. Therefore I also cannot really imagine to take care of the kids besides working. On the other hand I'm seriously scared of losing them - just growing slowly apart until I have missed enough of their developmental steps to be considered a stranger. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/11/22 12:55 PM |
| 1 | For what?Did you get 50/50 time with your children? I am still not decided if this will be the best option for me (and the kids) | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/11/22 11:11 AM |
| 3 | For what?Well here in Germany it does - 20% for one child, 40% for another. it is actually 22% per child but you can deduct 2% per child over 10. It is a bit more complicated than that - but yes... it is 40% for children over 10. Under 10 it is 18% per child = 36%. FML | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/11/22 06:01 PM |
| 27 | For what?Same story everywhere (including myself). I'm very sorry you are going through this. In our case the "reason" she has given me is not even an emotional affair or anything like that. She is "just not happy anymore" and needs her "freedom". We have two young children - be grateful that you only got one. Because double the child support is seriously scary (of course I had to be the breadwinner to make her life as easy and comfortable as possible). Just focus on yourself, get in the best shape of yo… | /r/Divorce_Men | 21/11/22 04:52 AM |
| 1 | How not to start despising women in general?Thanks for the in depth reply - really appreciate it! You are probably spot on in that I'm just in the thick of it and therefore "red pill raging". It might just pass. But I also have the feeling that this knowledge will help retain a bit more self respect in the future. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/11/22 08:22 AM |
| 1 | How I let a woman destroy my life - 41m. Young men: Do not ever get married.TLDR: No and No No way to salvage anything. We filed yesterday - in a few weeks its off to the judge and finalized. Even IF she would make a 180 turnaround, I would never be able to trust that person again. She has shown her true selfish face and demonstrated that when push comes to shove she is absolutely willing to look at what she would be gaining (financially) in a divorce and run with it. Why would I continue to build up equity (pay off the house, pay the largest junk of our other expenses)… | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/11/22 05:19 AM |
| 1 | How I let a woman destroy my life - 41m. Young men: Do not ever get married.Yes - I believe there must be a connection between this self-help bullshit and something inherently being wrong with a person. The seminar was of course also just the culmination after years of reading one retarded self-help "get happy" book after another. Always just interested in her own self, never in actually interesting topics. She just is not able to be happy or even content, no matter what she got in life - and she got plenty. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/11/22 04:36 AM |
| 1 | How I let a woman destroy my life - 41m. Young men: Do not ever get married.I am happy for you, but there literally were no red flags. Everyone in my environment is shocked about what is happening. She was a very loving, loyal, happy, fun, easygoing person. Only after the children that she sooooo wanted she gradually changed her tune. Even then I just accepted that life with kids is a bit harder, lots of obligations, less "us" time. I was really blindsided once the divorce talks started after some random argument. I really apreciate your insight and point of view, but i… | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/11/22 02:59 AM |
| 1 | How I let a woman destroy my life - 41m. Young men: Do not ever get married.No doubt. She benefits so much from this, my head is spinning. What she is taking initially she would never have been able to earn herself. Yet she really really believes to be entitled to it. Not even speaking about the child support money coming her way which will be more than a very good portion of other women even earn by themselves. No doubt a part of that money will not go directly to the children. And yes: she has an echo chamber that confirm how terrible her life is, how she is a poor vi… | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/11/22 06:50 PM |
| 1 | How I let a woman destroy my life - 41m. Young men: Do not ever get married.I kind of hope for that. Not because I will ever take this untrusworthy, vow-breaking, egocentric woman back. But because it would give me very much joy and satisfaction to see her realize what she has done. Not just to her kids, not to me - but to herself. Not holding my breath though. Really more occupied with planning for my own glorious future... | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/11/22 06:20 PM |
| 1 | How I let a woman destroy my life - 41m. Young men: Do not ever get married.I am sorry to hear that, truly. On the other hand it helps a little to know I'm not the only schmuck in this racket 😅 stay strong and chin up - be glad that she showed her true colors and sooner than later (too late). I am just 41 and pretty succesful. There is much good life that lies ahead of me (and you). She on the other hand has her best years behind her. I have no clue what she expects for her future as 36 year old single mom of two. Yes she might be financially set up for life, but other … | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/11/22 04:41 PM |
| 1 | How I let a woman destroy my life - 41m. Young men: Do not ever get married.Simple answer: because I was an idiot and did not for a second see this coming. I had only some abstract notion of "if we marry then she and our potential children will be secure e.g. in case something happens to me". Not even three years ago when "we" took on the huge mortgage on our home - which I completely paid for alone (down payment as well as all monthly rates). Not even then it occurred to me to maybe set up a contract and let the house be bought solely in my name (would have been possib… | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/11/22 04:14 PM |
| 1 | How I let a woman destroy my life - 41m. Young men: Do not ever get married.Yeah I just stumbled upon this "MGTOW" movement and it quite resonates with me. Already noticed that it was banned from reddit. Well of course we could not just let men openly discuss their "misogynistic" disgust about what once bright eyed, loving, soon to be husbands go through after ten years of marriage, grinding them down, expecting it all and then taking them to the cleaners. Couldn't let that happen, ey? It matters not - I know exactly what will happen next. a) a snip b) never again will … | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/11/22 01:25 PM |
| 1 | Any older men (say.. 45+).. finding it hard to be attracted to similar age women and basically give upDamn friend, that sounds tough. I know because I am in the same spot. Two young kids, suddenly she pulls away after I gave her everything (she said) she wanted. Children, house, garden, pets, swing set in the back. Turns out it was not what would make her happy after all (she later realized lol). And because she is not happy, she now wants to divorce (we are filing today). Yay me - I will pay a SHITton of money, she takes the kids and I will keep the house. Amazing how that goes. You give your l… | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/11/22 05:15 AM |
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