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Foomama48 Archive

View 11 posts and 93 comments by Foomama48 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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1

Thank you! Just to clarify, he didn’t give a sob story as an excuse, my friends were trying to analyze his not wanting to be exclusive by saying maybe it’s because of his divorce and past toxic relationship. Regardless I wasn’t analyzing or accepting that because I’ve had a divorce abs bad relationship as well, so that’s not an excuse. He didn’t give a sob story, just that he wasn’t ready for an exclusive relationship. And I was so it’s his loss!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/09/21 02:15 PM
3

Perfectly put, yes!!! This is great, thank you for sharing the story. I love how you put it about the mask and grieving something I haven’t met yet, it 100% resonates with me as to why I felt so sad. ❤️❤️❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/21 04:59 AM
2

No rose colored glasses at all, just no need to vilify him either. He didn’t want to be exclusive, I ended it. Just because someone doesn’t want what I do doesn’t mean I have to be angry. It’s his loss, not mine. He’s definitely not HV by my standards at this point, I don’t think I ever said he was. I dated him, saw some good things, stated my standards, he didn’t want to meet them, the end. He might be taking the benefits from someone else without having to commit, but that wasn’t anything I wa…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/09/21 04:37 AM
22

Thank you for this :) I’ve learned so much from this community and value the honest feedback holding me accountable. It’s tough out here. I had friends and guy friends say thing things like “he seems afraid to go through it again.” Because he had been through a rough marriage and then rough serious relationship.., but guess what… so did I!!! Man up or shut up. I can’t be bothered trying to diagnose his issues and then try to fix them, that’s bullshit and I’ve been there done that before. Meet my…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 04:02 PM
14

There’s no chance of that happening, I’m fine not seeing him again, was just sad that it turned out that way but had no uncertainty about his fuckboi ness once he said he “wasn’t sure if he was ready for exclusive relationship yet.” Once he said that any chance of seeing me again or having sex was done.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 02:28 PM
16

He is blocked and after I made myself clear about exclusivity there wasn’t a chance in hell I would have seen him again anyway. No using me for sex was going to happen/. No exclusivity, no sex. Honestly sex is so easy to come by there is zero need to have it with a man who would definitely cause pain after saying he didn’t want monogamy. I was totally fine not seeing him again if he didn’t want monogamy. That I was clear on with myself. Allowing him access to come sniffing back around was my mis…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 02:09 PM
74

Blocked, deleted, gone! All of these comments are 100% on point. He is what he is, and that’s definitely not HV. Thank you all for the support!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/09/21 12:30 PM
106

A few years ago I was in Italy and toured Pompeii. The section we toured was the “red light district”, it was where all the brothers were (who knew?!). But as a port it had a lot of brothels apparently. There were still sections intact on the walls of each brothel where you could see paintings of various sex acts….they were the menu where men could pick what they wanted to do to the women. Lightyears before porn, in ancient society destroyed by a volcano, the brothels and menus of sex acts survi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/07/21 04:03 AM
2

Good idea, I hadn’t thought of that but will do moving forward!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 04:55 PM
7

Omg, Quarentine80!😂 I just moved on, I was getting caught up in calling him out but it’s not worth it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 03:19 PM
12

Same here, I’m fluffy and my pic is right there, so stupid to lie about it. I got caught up in calling him out, but you’re right. Deleted, blocked, gone!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/07/21 03:18 PM
4

All of this is amazing I’m so many ways! I have a Freyr d who constantly analyzes her past relationships with the victim mindset, bashing and blaming without ever looking at herself- her choices, behaviors, trauma- since fds and therapy, I can’t deal with it anymore. We are responsible for our own healing and growth, and that begins with becoming rurally honest with ourselves.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/06/21 11:20 PM
2

No, do not contact her. Your experience with him is all that matters, that’s the only validation you need- that and therapy, support groups, self care. She and her experience with him are irrelevant. Get yourself a support group and therapist to help you move forward.
/r/askFDS23/06/21 09:35 PM
2

It’s not easy, constant work to be aware and trying not to get caught up. Wondering how “normal” people can do this and feeling bad for it being such a struggle. But that’s what therapy and support and this group is for, none of us are in it alone :)
/r/askFDS23/06/21 04:51 PM
1

I’m sorry you went through all of that, you don’t deserve that kind of hurt. I am absolutely cautious- that may even be an understatement, and will think about all of this.thank you for the support, I wish you healing and happiness, you deserve it!
/r/askFDS23/06/21 02:55 PM
2

Ok, thank you for your advice. I’ll think about it.
/r/askFDS23/06/21 02:41 PM
3

I’m not actually trying to meet anyone OLD, I’m practicing boundaries and things I’m working on in therapy. I have zero expectations, it’s me testing myself out and practicing. I’m still very much working on myself, this is just a small part. I won’t know how much progress I’be made until I challenge myself and my boundaries, and this is a part of that.
/r/askFDS23/06/21 02:35 PM
35

This is wonderful!! I’m just touching my toes back in the dating world and this is the mindset I’m working toward! As for men with younger women- I think back in the day it may have been easier, but young women today are overwhelmingly more empowered than ever, I don’t think most have much interest in anything older men being to the table. Men need to just step it up all together!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/06/21 02:33 PM
6

Thank you, I’ll check out the links :)
/r/askFDS22/06/21 05:07 AM
15

Yes I know the pitfalls of the apps, like I said I’m on them now to test out things I’m working on in therapy, see how I am with boundaries and triggers. I haven’t dated in the real world in about 20 years, after my divorce I met my ex fairly quickly and easily - both of which were huge red flags but that’s a whole different post. I’m just dipping a toe in the water with no expectations while trying to use FDS as a guide. I’m hoping for practical tips that people use beyond just don’t do it, I’m…
/r/askFDS22/06/21 04:24 AM
4

This made me tear up. I’m in what I think is the transition stage- working hard to understand myself and seeing my patterns, being acutely aware of them now while also unsure who I am without them. This was really good advice and needed today. It’s really scary learning your trauma responses and deciding no more, that you’re worth more but what if you never receive it? Everything you said is a necessary mindset, one I’m working hard to adapt. Thank you :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/06/21 07:01 PM
13

Oh yes, totally agree about limiting the time. I refuse to allow this to consume my life, it’s just a small part for me to test my progress. And if I feel like the pick me is tearing its head too much I’ll delete the damn thing and focus it all back to working on the issue. And then test again, and rinse and repeat until I have killed the pick me. Thank you for your response and support!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 12:31 AM
16

Thank you!! I think what I’ve realized, and see it with friendships too- is the “I pick you to pick me” thing…..the somehow deciding, like, “I want you to want me”….which is so bizarre! I knew the pick me part, but realizing through therapy that I’m picking them to focus on wanting them to pick me….like just stop! Agree the apps suck but it’s definitely great for working through all of this .
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/06/21 12:28 AM
22

Holy god that is horrifying. You really never know anyone smh. Like a beard is really going to improve you overall, how shallow!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/06/21 04:40 PM
42

That last part- women don’t let themselves go, it’s the impact of how others treat you- BOOM!!! Wow! At the end of my relationship I was drinking way too much wine, very unlike me and utterly a reflection of how much anxiety I was giving dealing with the dysfunction - and I was gaining weight. I also had insomnia for the two years living with him and went on anxiety medicine. From the day I left, even through all the grief and depression and ptsd after- I haven’t had a bad night sleep, no urge o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/06/21 02:19 AM
25

I’m avoiding dating so I can heal after my ex, basically the man you described except he was handsome with a good body and was affectionate. That’s it. That’s all he brought to the table. Other than that 3 years, an engagement, and utter vilification of me by his ex wife of 10 years and two teen daughters, who he was also at their beck and call and yet still a terrible dad - the four of them put me through the ringer. I dread ever seeing him on a dating app. You are looking at it all the right w…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/06/21 11:35 PM
2

Yes, it’s true- he never really saw me, I just projected so much onto him that wasn’t there. The lovebombing and getting sucked in is no joke, I knew things weren’t right but I kept getting pulled deeper and deeper into having to prove my worth. I’ve been focused on getting my head wrapped around it all, but I am ready to start working on joy - on my own! Lofty goals don’t work for me either, slow steady incremental is best. On one hand it’s comforting that I’m not alone in this, on the other ha…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/06/21 09:21 PM
2

Yeah they had been divorced for over 6 years when we met, she had lived with several men and had a second marriage/divorce. I was his first serious relationship, first he lived with, wanted to marry. Honestly you would have thought I was a homewrecker the way she treated me and they way she manipulated the girls to be. His whole family loved me, which I think made her hate me. It was absolutely insane- plus he was dishonest about how she was and how much control she had over everything. It was a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 06:55 PM
2

Yes!! Everything you said is it exactly!!! It’s really helpful to see that I’m not the only one, that this is all a normal part of the process. Thank you for posting this!! Sometimes the best help isn’t advice but just knowing we’re not alone. Progress and growth ❤️💯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 04:43 PM
2

I actually had massive insomnia, went on anxiety meds, and started drinking way to much wine (never when the kids were around) - same with the emotional outburst I’m not proud off and crying my eyes out - while I was living with him for two years. Hello major red flag!! The day I left his house and went to parents I slept like a baby and have not had a problem sleeping or desire to drink. Go figure! The panic attacks have subsided but it took a while. No consequences for her hitting me at all- i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 04:40 PM
2

This is so true! Finding a relationship ship is easy when you’re looking for it because you’ll jump into and settle for anything! I am of the mind right now that I do not plan to date again until I am at a place where I don’t want or need it, where finding someone isn’t even on my list of things to do or a remote desire.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 04:31 PM
4

We’re in it together, hopefully some of the responses here will give you a boost as well. Some days are good, others it’s a struggle with this. My hope for both of us is that the good days become more than the fearful. Hoping that with time, grace, and lots of work that happens for us. ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 02:47 AM
4

I’m sorry you went through this too - it messes with your head in so many ways, I’m glad you’re in therapy. It’s been a huge awakening for me, I hope it’s just as healing for you! You are spot on with the love bombing and drama and doubts, like exactly spot on with how it went! I actually had ptsd panic attacks on an almost daily basis after things ended, because the whole experience was so toxic but I was so invested from the love bombing. Legit panic attacks for months! Never in my life had th…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 02:41 AM
25

I love this! The funniest thing is that I know all the good parts of the relationship were me, it was my joy and caring and humor and planning and more that made our experiences together happen, I know I brought so much more to the table than he did. In essence everything good in our relationship was me doing all of those things myself already, with him just tagging along! I am realizing that now I have to start doing more myself - not just the weekend errands and normal stuff I already do, but …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 02:28 AM
4

Same here, maybe this is part of the detox of that mindset. I love fds for always making me feel less alone in all of this. Thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 12:17 AM
12

That’s where I think the struggle is coming from, that “belongingness,” and the realizations that keep hitting in small ways that I’m on my own, without that “belongingness” of the relationship - which was highly dissatisfying and traumatic in so many ways so I don’t miss that at all - just getting used to the transition from that mind rest to the hopefully eventual comfort that will come with not needing that belongingness. Thank you!.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/06/21 12:14 AM
25

Listen, half the couples I know posting about their relationship are either miserable, someone is cheating, or they have gone through challenges and come out the other side. My last relationship looked like we were in heaven on social media, but lots of challenges that took us down behind the scenes. And yeah, I know couples who are amazing and post on social media…..but my point is you can’t take that stuff to heart. It’s imagery, snapshots but not the whole story. Absolutely no one on earth ca…
/r/askFDS04/06/21 01:36 PM
4

Yes- missing that sense of optimism is huge and kind of sad. I know ultimately I’ll be in a better place and that optimism got me into more heartache but there was sort of bliss in that ignorance I guess.
/r/askFDS14/05/21 10:18 PM
7

After my divorce from my 15 year marriage, I was theoretically “ready” right away. I had fought hard for the marriage and mourned the death while I was in it, I did therapy while in it to help me end it and heal. So when it ended I was energized, full of life and ready to go. This year, a three year relationship /engagement ended about 8 months ago. Worse than my marriage ending, and brought out a whole bunch of other issues I needed to heal (it never ends). I feel nauseated at the idea of datin…
/r/askFDS14/05/21 10:17 PM
68

Is there such a thing? I feel like at this point it’s like looking for a unicorn.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/04/21 07:32 PM
2

THIS!!! 💯💯💯💯💯💯💯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 01:23 AM
10

I went through a pretty devastating break up back in September from my fiancé. Everything on this list is an absolute must! No contact is imperative. Block, delete, access denied. Focus on yourself, therapy, educate, heal, grow. I’m still working through some things, it’s a process, but I am so much more at peace than I have been in years. Give yourself time, lots of love and care.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 12:27 PM
4

Same depression, massive anxiety, insomnia, drinking too much wine. Sleep like a baby since the day I left, have zero urge to drink, loving how my life feels quiet now - because it’s actually peaceful! Still on anxiety meds and have some ptsd anxiety attacks from it all, but getting better every day!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 12:59 PM
38

AMEN 💯💯💯!! It’s not being petty, spiteful, or immature, it’s self love and empowerment. Access revoked. Period.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/02/21 09:51 PM
1

It’s not untrue though!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/21 09:39 PM
210

I started using the Bumble BFF app about a month ago and had the same exact experience, minus anyone asking for money. It was actually worse than using it for dating, maybe because my expectations were too high - I figure if women were using it to find friends they must actually, you know...want to find friends! I tried and really just don’t get it, why bother if you aren’t actually interested in friendship? I read all the profiles, made conversation about things they wrote. Not one asked me any…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 03:02 AM
8

He is so crazy cute and obviously sweet and just the goodest boy! I hope you can work with him to get him over his fear, he’s just a precious little guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 04:22 AM
22

Right!!!! My family and I couldn’t stop laughing about it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 06:36 PM
19

I don’t think so because I don’t have one! I basically took my personal belongings and my holiday decorations, I left him the house and everything in it!! 😂😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 06:35 PM
50

Mine reached out last months after 3 years. The first text was benign but weird- he said hi and gave me his new number. I didn’t respond. A week later I got “well I guess you’re not talking to me. I’m moving out of the country. And I didn’t cheat on you, ass! And why did you take the egg slicer?” .........almost 4 years since I left the house and over 3 since last contact, and that’s what he texts me! 😂😂 I didn’t respond at all, although him calling me an ass brought back so many fond memories 🤦…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/01/21 05:21 PM
1

Thank you!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 02:02 PM
2

It’s really frustrating, I hope you get some good answers from people on how to handle. It really made life hell for my ex, for both of us.
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/20 09:35 PM
4

My ex fiancé’s kids , teenagers at this point but they had been divorced 10 years, did this constantly to both of them. Kids learn pretty quickly how to manipulate, especially if communication between the parents isn’t great, if there’s any hostility, if one parents appears to hold more authority over another, etc. it’s not that the kids are being necessarily bad, but their working their angles. Sympathy deflects from them getting in trouble. My ex’s ex wife was the authority with the kids, but …
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/20 09:32 PM
5

In fairness my ex was super cheap and pretty much spent money on nothing, so him constantly saying he didn’t want to do therapy because he didn’t want to pay for it wasn’t a big shock. Aside from his issues with communication, there was a huge issue with his ex wife and kids- manipulation, parental alienation, etc. I found a therapist who specialized in that, she was incredible. I went to get ALONE to try and get a handle on what the hell I was living in. We were engaged and he still would not g…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 12:09 AM
29

I am so happy for you about your new man and your son - rode his bike to get you gifts - that’s a good kid who knows how to love ❤️❤️❤️ you did a great job and deserve to be showered with gifts, love, respect.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 05:06 AM
22

So many wasted words, never doing that again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/12/20 03:11 AM
420

My ex would always say things like “I know xxx is your favorite” or “I know how much you love xxx” .....he was always not even close, then he would get this fake down on himself for getting it wrong, and I would feel bad for him. In fairness though I don’t even think he knew what his favorite anything was or what he liked, so why would he be bothered to know about me 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 11:09 PM
2

It was nuts. It is a process, I’m not sure how long a process but I do believe it will just take time. Good luck to you ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 07:55 PM
2

That’s awful! These men are just scum. That’s why I will never move in with anyone again, unless we’re married, buying a place together, and are 100% on the same page about money and expenses. Giving away the best of ourselves to idiots who just take advantage- screw that from now on!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 07:54 PM
8

I am in the same boat after a three year live in/engaged relationship ended four months ago. I am over him and the relationship, however I am constantly reliving, ruminating, ranting about issues that happened with his teenage daughters and ex wife. Long story, but fir the two years I lived with him they used me- my existence- like a battering ram against each other. There were definitely issues between the four of them, she was narcissistic and a bully and was training her girls to be the same.…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 07:05 PM
1

That’s a really cool and thoughtful gift. I don’t even know my love language anymore. I value thoughtfulness- remembering details, special occasions, but I have to reevaluate to see what it really is. That’s why I’m taking a lot of time alone and in therapy after this relationship!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 02:39 AM
1

Same!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 02:33 AM
2

I’m the same way, I don’t really get caught up In that. With him though I always felt like he was keeping score. Never again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 02:30 AM
2

No, lol! I wasn’t that dumb. Just things he bought while I lived there. When I moved I took every single thing I paid for in full while I lived there. I approached it as if it were the same financial relationship my ex husband and I had- it was not even close.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 02:21 AM
8

I mean I paid him rent plus half of everything in a house he owned, while also paying for groceries, half for a vacuum he still had, half for a tv he still has. He could support himself just fine, so could I but the expenses for grad school cut in to my budget a little too much for comfort. I clearly don’t mind paying my share, lol- but in retrospect it was incredibly excessive on my part. I was married for fifteen years prior and my ex husband and I lived together before, I paid more money fir …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 02:18 AM
14

That’s amazing! I got a part time job while living with my ex in addition to my full time to cover grad school expenses. We were engaged and I was still paying rent to him....I know I said that in my first comment but it still gets me that I did all that and still paid half for damn near everything. If I could go back in time I’d slap myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 02:11 AM
39

There are men out there who do these kinds of things?!?! My ex, who i lived with, raised my rent after we got engaged, by $100 which I found out was the monthly payment on the ring. And it was less than her tuition payment.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 02:05 AM
8

Yes. ONLY because even if you think you aren’t conveying it, you are. He’ll pick up on it and in some ways he’ll feel like he’ll have to make you happy, by not being happy with or acting like he’s happy with her around you. Kids don’t need that crap, you’re both his parents, he loves you both, it’s not a competition for him, he doesn’t need to be in the middle. I get it!! Where you’re coming from, totally human to feel that way. Just don’t focus on it or have it be a main piece in your head, you…
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/20 05:45 AM
9

Everything everyone here said is perfect. Also go no contact - debate, block. It’s absolutely necessary for grieving, detoxing and healing. Therapy, talk it all out to anyone and everyone, journaling. I ended three years and an engagement with someone I felt in my bones was my person- once you get your perspective, start seeing things more clearly you can see all the cracks. All the ways they were wrong for you, and then you can start to see where you’re better off. It does take time. Time, spac…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 05:30 AM
1

Thank you for this ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 01:08 AM
1

I absolutely believe you should meet the ex wife! Prior to moving in I insisted we meet, but she just kept ignoring his requests. She would often come and drop the kids off and pick them up, but never came to the door and when I said I wanted to go out and introduce myself he just waved it off. The weekend I moved in, she did come in unexpectedly to meet me, seemed very annoyed about having to be bothered. When I walked into the room I was very friendly “hi it’s so nice to meet you!” Extended my…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/12/20 01:05 AM
4

I am so sorry you went through that! Thank you for sharing your story with me, I hope you’ve been able to heal from everything you went through, it must have been incredibly painful. In my case I don’t think the kids revered either of their parents. All they did was complain and fight with their mom, run her down, whoever she was with someone. They probably did revere him while he was single and alone and she was going from relationship to relationship. I got along well with them, until she was …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 06:15 AM
11

Thank you ❤️ It was insane, I know I’m over him but yes, it feels like I’m a little traumatized by it all. Good call with a trauma therapist, I’m going to look into that. This is the second time today I’ve seen EMDR, have you tried it and if so how has it worked out for you?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 02:19 AM
11

Thank you :) It did escalate, like the whole frog in a pot of water and you turn the heat up slowly thing. Looking back on it all now I’m just like wtf, but during it all it was like a slow pile on. I am so glad I came across this page, the timing couldn’t have been more perfect. I’m going to work harder on redirecting and refining, I really didn’t know what I wanted or even think about it at the time, I just pushed forward based on feelings. Huge lesson learned the hard way. But I do now feel i…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 02:17 AM
5

Flowers from dirt, I like that a lot. I am learning g so much through this, I just really thought by this age I’d know better. And yes, hold me to a higher standard, I love that! Thank you for this ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 02:13 AM
3

It’s great you found a good therapist, that’s exactly the kind of therapy I want. I’m not settling until I find someone who puts me to wok on myself, I need that. Sending love back to you 💕
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 12:41 AM
3

This is great, thank you! I was seeing a therapist until this week but she wasn’t getting into the deep stuff, I want to really work on this and I just think she wasn’t a good fit. I’m looking for someone now to do cognitive behavioral therapy. I’m going to get the book you mentioned as well, and use your mantra. The lovebombing really messes with your head. Thank you for this, I hope you’re in a better place after what you went through :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 12:30 AM
6

Another red flag to add to my ex!! It was always about whatever not bothering him, never about me!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 12:14 AM
16

I was engaged to this bucket.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/12/20 11:24 PM
99

So you’ve met my ex? 😂😂🤦🏻‍♀️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 06:56 PM
6

Oh my god!! What is wrong with these men!! My ex had two daughters and still thought periods were horrific. I went on that birth control where you don’t get one so he didn’t have to deal with it. He’s the only man I ever met who had an issue with it- another huge red flag I totally ignored!!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 06:54 PM
33

Omg, my ex did this all the time!! Even with his kids!! He once, to catch a green light, sped up half a block and ran across the street. Meanwhile his daughters and I were stuck at the red across the street, looking at him like are you kidding me?! At first I was like, maybe in his mind we’d all run or he’d like, catch the green light for us? I don’t know, it was so weird. But after I noticed a pattern of it I realized he’s just thoughtless. But he did always open doors, which I think was just h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 03:20 PM
11

Yes! Mine wasn’t ugly, lol- but all the rest. No friends, hobbies, interests, no long term relationships after his divorce from an absolute bully if not narcissist, his kids had no respect for him, she had no respect for him, he had a job he hated working with his dad, pretty much nothing to offer at all. All he had to offer was nice arms and a boatload of affection - and availability because he had nothing going on except his teenage daughters half the week. And as time went on with us living t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 03:16 AM
16

My ex thought I was the best thing on earth, couldn’t believe I was with him, that he finally found me. His family, especially his parents. Told me numerous times over the years that they prayed for him to meet me, prayed he’d find someone like me. But As time went on HIS disbelief calmed down- I didn’t change, he just took me for granted. Big time. And as loving and caring and loyal as I was just boosted his ego. We ended due to issues with his ex wife and kids, but ultimately we ended because …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 03:08 AM
12

I have faith they are out there, all the women I’m closest too have one. I know I’m the reason I haven’t had that same experience yet, but I’m working on valuing myself much more. I know they exist, hopefully I’ll get to experience one for myself!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 02:42 AM
6

My ex used his kids as an excuse for everything - they were teenage girls who wanted nothing to do with him, yet they were his excuse for not being able to do things or go places or have friends. They’re lazy, if they wanted to be better they’d be doing the work.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 01:06 AM
6

If he wanted to have a close, intimate connection with his kids he would, not scapegoat you for their issues because he’s too lazy to deal with anything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 01:03 AM
47

Women want a good man, nice guys are fake. I had one for three years. Everything was transactional, nothing was because of his character or values or from the heart - he had no character or values, he just did what was easiest and caused him the least stress, conflict or effort. I remember thinking everytime his mom or sister would say he was “such a nice guy,” that it wasn’t a good thing. Many lessons learned, but yeah I want a good man now, not a nice guy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/12/20 01:01 AM
89

God I wish someone said that to me in my last relationship!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 03:27 AM
2

Great work, congratulations!!! Beautiful flowers and beautiful cat :)
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 03:02 AM
5

I never relied on my ex, we lived together and were engaged and I still made it a point not to need him or rely on him, anything I needed I handled on my own, because I knew at some point he’d bring it up and hold it against me. I saw him do it with his kids and ex wife (she was terrible though, but still), and he did it to me with living there. I purposely made sure to pay for things or groceries or whatever just so I was sort of “going above and beyond.” And when he didn’t have anything to hol…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/12/20 04:20 AM
29

My ex fiancé. He was always very calm and reasonable about it, but anytime something came up that was an issue on his end, something that he should have handled better or we should have had a conversation about, he would bring up that I shouldn’t be complaining because I had a good thing going living in his house (he asked me to move in, I didn’t need to and I paid him every month), or he would throw out how he helped out with my dog (he literally just let her out sometimes). He didn’t have much…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 05:02 PM
1

That was tough to read, he made me believe that I was it for him. I never knew I was just an option. Part of what I feel in love with was how much he loved his kids, I still don’t understand what happened or how things got to that point with them. There was so much I wasn’t involved in, so much I wasn’t around for in terms of arguments between the 4 of them. He had so many opportunities to make this right with them before it got to this point, and he didn’t, he did nothing. He had so many opport…
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/20 12:20 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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