| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 3 | Good credit score, being forced into bankruptcy by divorce judgeThe judge can’t do that. Appeal with a good attorney. Don’t pay a dime until you do. If you really do have issue get a vocational assessment done on yourself as well. The court CAN NOT put you into bankruptcy because you’re unable to pay. That judge will easily be reprimanded if so. Been there. Done that. | /r/Divorce_Men | 25/08/24 05:44 PM |
| 3 | Anyone else lose everything? I paid bills out of joint acct during 3 yr divorce, judge ordered me to pay $ back bc I did it w/o permission& 2 yr later judge ordered me to pay my half of house sale within 7 days + 8 yrs spousal support bc she's uneducated.Yeep. And I’m not even divorced yet. Almost 3 years trying to divorce a narcissist And I just filed a chap 13. | /r/Divorce_Men | 15/05/24 03:06 PM |
| 6 | Do I pay alimony even though wife refuses to work?Ask for a vocational assessment to be sure alimony is based on what she can earn. Not the court minimum. They cost between 2 and 4 grand and worth every penny | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/02/24 02:52 PM |
| 4 | Mediation tomorrow can it really be OVER after this???No. It can only be over if your both amicable and listen to the mediator. I’ve gone three times and have made 5 offers .. and nothing. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/01/24 04:02 PM |
| 2 | Party Invitations…Ex-wife on E-mail ListYes I would. . And if you’re allowed bring a date. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/12/23 12:55 AM |
| 4 | No explanationDon’t kill yourself looking for an explanation. Maybe she is a narcissist without empathy. .. who know. Don’t over think it or you will be miserable. Enjoy what is ahead of you. | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/12/23 06:19 PM |
| 1 | Well, wife wants to go to the streetsPrepare for war. Prepare prepare prepare. Remember regardless of what your told it is a war. I learned the hard way. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/12/23 02:59 PM |
| 2 | Had a chat with my wife - finances -- went better than expectedAs hard as it is..remember Divorce is war. Don’t make my mistakes and be nice. Get a good lawyer and get your guard up. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/12/23 03:57 PM |
| 1 | Wife wants a divorce, we don’t have money for lawyers.Find a lawyer .. u need one. | /r/Divorce_Men | 19/10/23 06:53 PM |
| 1 | Ex's lawyer is trying to hold me in contempt for not letting my ex back in the house.Put her shit in the garage. Tell her to come get it. Call the police and let them know and if they could be there when she picks up her shit. Let them know your concerns. | /r/Divorce_Men | 29/09/23 05:47 PM |
| 4 | 3yr Marriage and she wants $1,500 in alimonyLawyer up. Divorce is war. Remember that. | /r/Divorce_Men | 09/08/23 03:38 PM |
| 2 | Would you marry again wo a prenup?Nope. Not at my age. Iron clad prenup would be required. | /r/Divorce_Men | 30/07/23 08:12 PM |
| 1 | Can child custody court case be more than $100K?How old are the kids. ? 14 and over in NJ they can make their own decision… of course more to it .. I’m 200000 in legal debt over 17 months with a narc who doesn’t know want to mediate. I also have a judge who says we don’t need a trial and to come to an alimony agreement though I’ve made 7 attempts with no counter. Anyhow. I vented enough. Uggh | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/06/23 09:51 PM |
| 2 | Mandatory settlement conference with lawyers in less than 24hrs. AdviceYes. Sounds like your married to my wife’s twin. Lol. In NJ there is a huge back log before we ever see a trial. My judge I’m sure will send us back to our mediator for the fifth time as he doesn’t want a trial. Divorcing a narc is not fun. Just expensive. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/03/23 12:19 AM |
| 2 | Attempted MediationFight. Don’t give up. Do what’s fair… not what she wants. | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/03/23 09:30 PM |
| 4 | Mandatory settlement conference with lawyers in less than 24hrs. AdviceI wish you luck. Mine appears cordial as well… but it’s all a facade. I’m 6 figures in after 14 months of hell. As long as both of you are willing to negotiate u should be fine. It’s when one refuses to budge is when you have issues. Manage your expectations and expect perhaps a little less then you think. . | /r/Divorce_Men | 16/03/23 09:28 PM |
| 3 | Line by line accountingPersonal finance. Need to show line by line accounting where certain monies went. All the flows. | /r/Divorce_Men | 23/02/23 09:49 PM |
| 1 | ESP panel in NJWas yours a NJ divorce?? | /r/Divorce_Men | 11/02/23 03:06 AM |
| 5 | So, I read this board, and see all these horror stories…. What would you all consider Best Practices? I can think of vasectomy and a Cohabitation Agreement? What else have you all considered doing, done, or will do?If ever a next time…..PRENUP. Lol. | /r/Divorce_Men | 22/12/22 11:14 PM |
| 1 | Economic realityThat’s expensive too. She wants more forensic accountants and all sorts of shit. All needless. Chap 13 here I come. Uggh. | /r/Divorce_Men | 20/12/22 05:16 PM |
| 1 | HouseAny ideas on showing the economic reality. ? I’ve tried spreadsheets to forensic accountants. All called lies. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/12/22 07:41 PM |
| 2 | HouseYes. Been a big issue in my marriage. | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/12/22 02:39 AM |
| 2 | HouseYeah. I mean I want to keep it. Just don’t know why she claims to want to buy me out when there is no feasible way for her to do that. Strange. Trying to understand if I’m missing something . | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/12/22 01:54 AM |
| 1 | HouseShe has no job. How the heck would she get a mortgage?? | /r/Divorce_Men | 18/12/22 01:47 AM |
| 5 | Driving stonedMy big regret is not documenting her behavior with the popo. Uggh | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/12/22 10:54 PM |
| 5 | Driving stonedI’ll add that she is a narc as well. Adding to the complexity for me. | /r/Divorce_Men | 17/12/22 09:01 PM |
| 1 | Strategies to get a narcissist to settleHA..tried that when I gave multiple global proposals..never a counter.. | /r/Divorce_Men | 14/12/22 06:36 PM |
| 4 | Taking my mailBelieve it or not it’s a federal crime to mess with one’s mail even if we r still married. Confidential work paper and notes she keeps taking as well. Last night I stepped away for 2 min from my car and I caught her rooting in my bag. I just want to put the fear of god into her somehow. Called her out immediately.. of course she denied it though I caught her red handed. I am playing the grey rock as they say.. but still | /r/Divorce_Men | 13/12/22 11:14 PM |
| 3 | Strategies to get a narcissist to settleShe is a textbook narc. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/12/22 11:01 PM |
| 1 | Misuse of temporary supportno comment....lol | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/12/22 07:59 PM |
| 3 | Misuse of temporary supportThanks..ill take a look at this app. Looks like a great way to manage most communication... | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/12/22 07:42 PM |
| 4 | Misuse of temporary supportYes. Of course I still live with my narc. Wasn’t leaving my kids alone.. as I do everything for them. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/12/22 06:29 PM |
| 4 | Misuse of temporary supportYeah. It’s so damn hard to say no . I know she is just looking g to create conflict. Get her narc supply from me. Thank god for therapists. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/12/22 06:20 PM |
| 3 | Misuse of temporary supportTrue. She won’t work either. I just hate it when she uses my kids .. | /r/Divorce_Men | 12/12/22 06:11 PM |
| 1 | Attorney's from Employer Legal Plan networkYes. I have arag but the coverage gets used quick and the attorneys on it are not the best . If your divorce is going to be difficult I suggest getting the best u can afford. Arag coverage ended for me after the first 10k and then u get a discount. I found alot of the attorneys on it towards the end of their careers who didn’t want to deal with a lot of work or very young attorneys with little experience. | /r/Divorce_Men | 10/12/22 02:28 PM |
| 1 | Has anybody used the kids college education as a bargaining chip?permanent is if over 20 years I believe. We already had Early Settlement Panel and an outside mediator before that..my range for negotiation is between 8 and 10 years per the ESP. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/12/22 08:45 PM |
| 1 | Has anybody used the kids college education as a bargaining chip?NJ. 14 years | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/12/22 08:37 PM |
| 1 | Can I use my soon to be ex self medicating against herI agree. The only time I witnessed her driving on something was after she picked up my daughter from school after being out to lunch. Honestly I didnt know what to do other then call my therapist. But I could smell it on her. Its why I do 99% of the chauffeuring around. But she hides the drinking and smoking at home..thankfully I have pics though. Especially of the towel under the door and weed in the car. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/12/22 08:35 PM |
| 1 | Has anybody used the kids college education as a bargaining chip?how come? I just want her to pay her fair share. If she doesnt want to, I want a reduction in alimony | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/12/22 08:27 PM |
| 1 | Can I use my soon to be ex self medicating against herBottle… I get the emotional abuse soon after sometimes. Though I pay no attention | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/12/22 08:21 PM |
| 1 | Can I use my soon to be ex self medicating against herevery day. wine and weed. my issue is with her doing it when the kids are home. ANd my concern of her driving my kids around while under the influence, I know its legal..I hate the shit myself, but because she has some mental issues she uses alcohol and weed. She thinks we cant smell it. Fell bad for the kids because they know and wont call her out on it. WE have a 50/50 agreement but I feel now with her behavior over the last year that I should of gone for full. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/12/22 07:10 PM |
| 1 | Has anybody used the kids college education as a bargaining chip?What state? | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/12/22 06:11 PM |
| 1 | NJ: Early Settlement Panel Recommendationsmine did have actual numbers .. but they were also based on no real facts of the case as they said. I have no idea why my lawyer wants me to use them to make another offer before mediation...my divorce has just been dragging on for a year and I think my lawyer senses (my second lawyer mind you) that I just want it over. I agree..I found ESP useless. But my pockets are pretty much empty after more than $100000 in fees. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/12/22 02:45 AM |
| 1 | Has anybody used the kids college education as a bargaining chip?no 529s in my divorce. Just bills in 4 years. Curious if I can say Ill take care of it for a reduction in alimony so she doesnt have to be responsible for her share. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/12/22 12:49 AM |
| 3 | Has anybody used the kids college education as a bargaining chip?Meaning have you said you would take care of education for a reduction in alimony for example.. | /r/Divorce_Men | 08/12/22 12:43 AM |
| 1 | NJ: where does affordability come into the alimony formulaThe esp panel and the mediator say differently. Should I just wait for trial and stop trying to sort thru mediation. ? | /r/Divorce_Men | 07/12/22 01:15 AM |
| 2 | For the men who initiated and filed for divorceTook me 5 years to pull the band aid off. The misery was so much I told her I was unhappy... funny thing is that I thought it would facilitate another reaction other then ..ok lets get attorneys..so I filed that week. | /r/Divorce_Men | 06/12/22 02:58 AM |
| 3 | What strategies have you used with the courts against a narcissist wife..?Interesting.. did your budget or cash left over have any affect on alimony considerations? | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/12/22 05:28 PM |
| 3 | What strategies have you used with the courts against a narcissist wife..?Curious as to what anybody has done with motions and the like against their soon to be ex wife. | /r/Divorce_Men | 04/12/22 05:02 PM |
| 1 | Divorcing a Narcissist ... helpDid you have your early settlement panel yet?? | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/12/22 07:13 PM |
| 1 | Divorcing a Narcissist ... helpcurious..what state do you live in?? | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/12/22 04:45 PM |
| 1 | Divorcing a Narcissist ... helpIn NJ you can impute a base income. But you can also get an employability expert to interview your wife to professionally assess their income potential. The courts typically take those reports seriously and will use. Thats what Im looking to do anyhow. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/12/22 04:34 PM |
| 5 | Divorcing a Narcissist ... help50/50 I have a signed of agreement on already. She "worked" only when she wanted to..not because she needed to. Lunacy. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/12/22 04:25 PM |
| 1 | She wants alimony and child supportEmployability expert is what you need..Im in similar position trying to figure out that number. | /r/Divorce_Men | 02/12/22 03:58 PM |
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