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Still-Average9690 Archive

View 10 posts and 78 comments by Still-Average9690 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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3

It's super rough. Ya make one bsd choice almost a decade ago, continue building a life with someone just to have it thrown in your face repeatedly, just for them to leave you high and dry and act like none of the last 10 years meant nothing. The day after she called it off she was sending guys nudes from our bed and stuff. I found it all on the iPad. She's out doing god knows who/what while I dwell on all of the sentimental things. The last couple days especially sucked. I hope you're doing alri…
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/24 06:26 PM
1

I went through the same thing. It's been 9 months and I'm still not okay.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/24 12:55 AM
3

I'm in the same boat as your ex. It's a terrible feeling. Despite "being room mates" or a "dead bedroom", there is still a right and wrong way to go about things. I don't know you and can't say with just cause if you're a bad person, but you definitely made a bad choice. It all comes down to how you hold yourself accountable. Tbh, I've gone off the rails on my ex for her behaviour, and she's been nothing shy of a cold bitch about it. You shared some of your life's biggest moments with her. She i…
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/24 07:06 PM
1

Really appreciate it homie 👊🏼
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/24 03:51 AM
1

I've been really going through it. Tried hopping on the apps just to see what's out there, and to no surprise, it's either people who seem really stuck up with PhDs, or.....not what I'm looking for to be kind about it. Idk, I know she's not a great person in a lot of ways, but she was my person, ya know? I'm getting my medication adjusted tomorrow, so hopefully that helps a bit. Nonstop panic attacks aren't a good time. Especially driving a truck for a living. I really fucked up and when I was s…
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/24 02:19 AM
3

Man, I'm sorry. Mine said she had been planning to Leave for a year. We were only married 3 years, but together for 3. Day after she finished school she left me. Claimed family and friends told her to wait so I could keep supporting her. I definitely feel you on the szh.
/r/Divorce_Men15/11/24 05:31 AM
3

I didn't expect this to get the attention it did. Really overwhelmed with all the positive responses. Thank you all so much. No one deserves to feel like this. It's too much. The other day she told me she felt okay the idea of having a baby with someone else. I just want my family back. She went through an abortion a couple year ago, and as much as it didn't hit me then, it's really hitting me now. This is definitely the worst feeling in the world. I can't even keep steady thoughts. I wear my we…
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/24 11:42 AM
2

Exactly. Of course I want to reconcile, or at least be on the path to reconciling without there being other men. If it's "just a date" and they go their separate ways and she comes back and says "you know what, this isn't for me. I need some time to be alone alone, then we can try to work things out" I'd take that. As long as she's open and honest with me and doesn't cross that line too much, I can deal with that.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/24 05:35 PM
8

I think about this all day every day. She just told me she has a date Monday. I asked her for honesty because my dumbass thinks "well what if we reconcile, then there's all the lying and hiding shit". But with that comes the added bullshit of "okay, well, she's going on dates, talking to other men, etc...shes already broken that trust". Doesn't help she's ruthless as hell about it. I fucking hate this so much.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/24 03:15 PM
21

I swear we are the same person who married the same jackass. It's actually insane how fucking stupid some people are. Imagine how badly we'd get dragged through the mud if we pulled the shit these women do? I'm sorry brother. Hopefully things work out better for you than they have been for me
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/24 12:52 AM
1

So far I've replaced almost all the furniture and painted the bedroom and livingroom in "our" apartment. Clean slate so to speak. Doesn't erase the memories of raising our kids together, or everything else that happened in the last 13 years. She's been the one constant the whole time. I invested I was all in, and I lost it all. Trying day by day, but it's a constant reminder that everything is fucked. For my whole life I've had major depression and anxiety issues as well, and these days they are…
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/24 03:05 AM
1

I'm right there with you. This is shit. After kids I lost most of my friends because I was catering to hers and the kids needs and didn't have a lot of free time. Now about the only person I can talk to is my mom. It feels pathetic. I can't even consider going on dates yet. I know I'm still in love with her and it's not fair to be even thinking about dating if you're not fully into it. I've played the moving on too fast game, and it doesn't solve anything. It's just bullshit working your ass off…
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/24 02:58 AM
1

Yeah. She hasn't slept with anyone else, we've been very open and honest about that, she's literally in it for the validation. But it still hurts the same, you know. I tried my hardest to fight to keep the family together. I have been through a lot of trauma, but nothing compares to this pain.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/24 01:45 AM
1

That's kind of where I'm at. It makes it worse that I feel entirely at her mercy. It's so hard to accept that my family is torn apart. She has the kids right now and it just sucks.
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/24 11:08 PM
2

She has been on tinder since a week after the bomb dropped. She's not seeing anyone specific but I know she's chatting with multiple people. We periodically sleep together still. I'm basically clinging to any "connection" with her. I just can't wrap my head around how she doesn't care anymore. 13 years together. We were looking for a new place to move just a week before hand. It's like she finished her schooling (which she wasn't working and I was the sole provider) and the day she finished she …
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/24 10:43 PM
2

Because a scorned woman is brutal to deal with. They're brain ninjas who apply debuffs like no other lol
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/24 07:18 PM
3

Right?! She's said and done a lot of dumb shit through this process.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/24 07:15 PM
11

You are about to fight the final boss and her HP is basically unlimited. I hope you maxed out your stats. Your stamina, attack, and defense specifically. If you don't have S tier gear, you're going to have a bad time. God speed brother 👊🏼
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/24 02:14 PM
6

I am in the same position as OP and my ex basically said this to me yesterday. "You weren't who I thought you'd be, I thought when I made you a husband you'd change, but you weren't deserving of that title"
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/24 02:07 PM
3

I am in the exact same spot. It is actually the worst.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/24 02:26 PM
1

I mean, that sounds weird, but I get what you're saying. I wear my wedding ring to bed every night because it gives me comfort. She moved out now, but we still talk all day everyday. I keep hoping she'll come home and we can start working past this.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/24 05:00 AM
1

Literally the worst
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/24 02:20 AM
3

I prefer the clam
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/24 02:19 AM
3

For me the dreams are usually of her doing something fucked up to hurt me. I do have "good" dreams from time to time. I usually only get an hour or 2 sleep before one wakes me up. Then I have multiple a night. It's so shitty.
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/24 01:38 PM
3

Fuck man. Similar boat for sure. A week after she dropped the bomb she was on tinder and sending other guys nudes and stuff. I'm in a hard place, I kind of secluded myself after we had our daughters. Never went out. Just played video games with a couple friends. They're tired of hearing it because they've told me forever she sucks. My mom is about the only support I have and even she's getting sick of it. I'm in therapy but that's like once a week. I'm just so fucking alone.
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/24 11:25 PM
3

I fucking hate it. It's been almost 6 months, and I still can't last more than a couple hours without breaking down. I'm a god damn mess. And yeah, things might "get better" than they are right now, but I'm never going to forget the trauma I've been through with this. Having it all blamed on me, called pathetic, a little bitch, etc. like, there was nothing notable that changed. We got in the smallest argument and she dropped the bomb the day after she finished her college course. Family blown up…
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/24 11:22 PM
2

My god, my wife said the same thing. We've only been married 3 years but we're together a long time before that. She hasn't even shed a tear over it. She's been on tinder and shit since a week after she called it off, which also happened to be the day after she finished her college which I supported her through so she didn't have to work. It's been a god damn rollercoaster and has fucked me up so bad.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/24 03:53 PM
2

Oh trust me, I'm dying here. To be honest, I'm absolutely sobbing every 15-20 mins. It's been 5 months of this. I've been off work for 3 on stress leave. Put myself in the hospital because I couldn't take it. This shit sucks so much. I wear my wedding band to bed every night because it's the only way I can feel comforted. Healing is going to be a crazy long process for me. Not sure if I ever will. Day by day, just gotta do what I can to survive and make sure the kids are alright
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/24 02:20 PM
1

Yeah, we've been together since around 20 years old. We had a lot of on and off, but after our first daughter we've been solid. Been in this apartment for 8 years and have raised the kids here. So all the memories of them learning to walk/talk/etc, getting married, everything has been in this home. The kids said it best the other day "I want my life back". This shit sucks a lot.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/24 01:38 PM
2

Ugh, that sounds awful. The kids are mostly excited about moms new place. They get a bigger bedroom and it's new and exciting for them, but they're a mess about not seeing her or me everyday anymore. I've tried to keep their spirits up by telling them they can help redo their room here with me
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/24 01:32 PM
2

Renting a 2 bedroom apartment and paying next to nothing for it. To move I'd be spending an extra $1000 a month
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/24 01:30 PM
9

Appreciate it a lot. We've been separated for a few months now, and she's been back and forth from staying with family to staying here, but I knew it was coming and have been making plans for paint colours and stuff for a while (can't wait for my upgraded PC setup). Just wasn't expecting it to be this jarring when she took all of her things. We've raised a family together here for 8 years, and it's like it never happened. It's not "home" anymore and that's scary.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/24 12:33 AM
2

Surprisingly, zero child support on either end is the only thing we have ALWAYS agreed on. We both grew up in broken homes and have always said we would never go that route. But absolutely. Funny enough she told me yesterday she wanted another baby lol. Women, am I right?
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/24 06:20 PM
4

The last 2 years I've been suffering from major depression and my sex drive was insanely low. She asked for a separation and I have been absolutely feral. Baby fever hit hard as well. She still wants to separate and I've been a mess, but we have had the craziest sex of our lives which has been cool. The idea of either of us being with someone else makes me nauseous as hell. I might be the minority and it'll end up screwing me over in the long run, but I hope after she takes some time we can work…
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/24 05:31 PM
3

Only thing in retrograde is my god damn sanity.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/24 11:49 AM
5

Mine too. It's been fucking bullshit lol
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/24 05:16 AM
16

I don't know a single person who has had a good year. Almost every long term relationship/marriage I know of has ended in cheating or something crazy. The most wild thing, every woman involved believes in astrology lol.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/24 04:46 AM
25

I have been a complete train wreck. Uncontrollably crying everyday etc. I'm on stress leave from work, on a bunch of medication etc. this morning I had a hard time getting out of bed. when I did I hugged my youngest daughter and told her "I'm sorry I've been having such a hard time. I haven't been the dad I want to be lately, but I'm doing my best" and this child, who is usually very sassy and a smartass like me looks me in the face and says "you are exactly the daddy I want you to be" and gave …
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/24 01:46 AM
12

Man, I'm dreading for the day I'm "ready" to get back out there. Very much still in love with my ex wife. She kicked my ass just a week ago. The day after my birthday. In front of our daughter. It was wild. She's been "talking" to other guys and lying NONSTOP behind my back while I've been trying to salvage whatever there is left, even if it's a friendship that just respects that at one point we each other's everything. Moving on is her priority and I've been super fucked up about it. My self es…
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/24 04:04 AM
1

Absolutely lol. Can be hard to tell if they're not up front about it. Which is probably the case since both are known to be extremely manipulative
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/24 01:54 PM
2

Borderline personality disorder is bpd
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/24 01:35 PM
2

Buddy lol. My ex is diagnosed bipolar, unmedicated and is both physically and mentally abusive as fuck. Shits been a whirlwind lol.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/24 01:35 PM
2

Widening the cess pool maybe lol
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/24 12:51 PM
1

I guess it's just wishful thinking, you know? Knowing the person she is when she isn't manic like this. Just sucks because separated or not, there is no reason things had to get to this point. I miss my best friend and wish we could have been happy and healthy even as friends. Is what it is I guess
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/24 12:34 PM
7

Aw man. I'm sorry. That's friggin awful. Im going through something along the same lines and my head is wrecked over it. No closure, nothing. I've just been trying to focus on the kids, remodelling the apartment and maybe making a career switch. I don't get how people can be so cruel and mess with their spouses heads like that.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/24 03:19 AM
2

I mean hey, if you didn't get a drink thrown at you, called a creep or slapped, that's a win in my books haha. Im still freshly separated, so even thinking about talking to another woman scares the hell out of me, but still proud of ya! I feel I'd probably go about it in a similar way as well. A nice but simple compliment just to boost someones evening is always a safe bet
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/24 03:15 AM
2

Look at you go! It takes a lot of courage to approach people in general, but these days it's straight up scary. So that's awesome! Was it well received?
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/24 03:08 AM
5

In my opinion (hot take in coming), dating/hook up apps are bottom feeding territory. I know a lot of people use them, but it just seems so corny. What happened to naturally connecting with people? I'm sure there's a lot of good people on there, but it invites so many red flags and issues right off the get go. Found out my ex was on them the day she asked for a separation and had made profiles any time we got in fights. Sure it's convenient to meet people, but it's also easy to end up in the mid…
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/24 03:04 AM
2

With my anxiety, I visualize everything like it's a movie. Every fear I can (uncontrollably) think of feels like a real life horror movie. I shake and hyperventilate. It usually starts and I pace until my body feels weak and I have to sit or lay down. It's been all day every day for 5 months so far. Every thought is so vivid. Based on jealousy and circumstances (finding out my ex was sending nudes to multiple people while sleeping with me), I am tortured day in and day out by thoughts of her sle…
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/24 06:19 AM
1

It's not so much refusing, I am taking a lot of steps to get things done. I've been suffering major anxiety and depression from all of this and struggling with medications. I'm documenting everything, pictures, videos, screenshots etc. I have the kids full time and she only sees them when I'm home. Talking to lawyers this week. I have a lot of doctor appointments and other things I'm doing as well to protect us
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/24 07:05 PM
3

She is currently couch hopping due to the state of the housing/rental market, and all of her things are still at the apartment. To a point, I agree it's self inflicted, but it's also a matter of her seeing the kids. I've tried to be as accommodating as possible so it's a little bit easier on all of us. That's obviously backfired and new terms are going to be figured out this week. Need to get the landlord to change the locks ASAP and I'm going to be getting in touch with a lawyer. I want her to …
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/24 03:33 PM
2

I have all of the screen shots and times of her admitting everything. My mom and I had a long conversation with the kids after she left explaining everything to them and making sure they know that they are not at fault and that they are safe. Its an extremely volatile situation because there is severe, untreated, mental illness involved. When she's good, she is incredible. But when it's bad, well, it speaks for itself. I've made everything known, and I'm making sure she takes the steps to get he…
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/24 03:26 PM
4

Absolutely. I'm trying to make sure everyone involved is okay and plan on getting the kids into see a therapist. Her and I both have a history of drug abuse. Before our oldest was born we were both avid "snowboarders". We both kicked that before she was born. My ex relapsed immediately after asking for a separation. We've been together 13 years and I've seen all sides of her. I recognize when her bipolar is in control and she is manic. This is it. She doesn't think there's anything wrong, but I'…
/r/Divorce_Men09/09/24 03:17 PM
1

If we didn't have kids in the mix, I think that's exactly what I would do
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/24 05:49 PM
3

Just hard to come to terms with, ya know? I gave up everything to focus solely on our family and providing a half decent life for us. Supported her through school so she can better her career, and in turn give ourselves and the kids a better life just to get tossed aside. We were together for just under 15 years. It's tough losing your best friend and having them behave so gross.
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/24 05:49 PM
3

I know a lot of people in healthcare, so I've heard some stories. It's just crazy how people can't just appreciate what they have.
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/24 05:45 PM
2

I feel you 100% man. If there's one take away from this, it's a cold fucking world out there
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/24 05:42 PM
3

It's heart breaking. When she said she wanted to separate, I didn't argue or anything. I just said "if that's what you want that's fine. I think for our mental health, and to make it easier on the kids, let's take our time and learn to coparent, I'll help you find a place (the rental market is insane), and if need be I can even lend you some money. The only thing I ask is neither of us involve anyone else. We don't need to hate each other or complicate things if we decide down the road to work t…
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/24 05:13 PM
3

Man hugs 👊🏼. I just don't fucking get it dude. You support them through everything, you know damn well they're satisfied physically, ya pay for everything, and still they want more. The fuck is wrong with people? It crushes me that we made 2 beautiful kids together, and she wants to just get railed by whatever dude is willing to give her attention.
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/24 04:12 PM
1

It's just so gross. Like I threw up when I found out because it's just blah. Idk if I'm the minority on this, but after having kids, sex isn't just sex anymore. Sure it feels great and the pleasure side to it is awesome, but there's more meaning to it now, ya know? Like it has very real consequences. And she's willy nilly wanting to be fucked by some gross dude (who we have both talked about being a disgusting person) just because he mentioned that him and his gf want to have a 3some. I just don…
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/24 04:09 PM
2

We have 2 kids together and she's currently staying at her parents place. Kids can't really go there for safety concerns, so she's at the apartment everyday to see the kids before school and for bed time. It's devastating and I feel trapped. I want my family back, but I don't even recognize her anymore with all of the disgusting stuff she's been saying/doing.
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/24 03:16 PM
2

Still see my ex everyday, still stupidly in love with her. Not oblivious that she'll never change though. It's definitely rock vs hard place kind of situation.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/24 12:06 AM
9

My ex and I were on and off for a couple years before she got pregnant with our oldest. She had cheated on me a few times and we had broken up. Each time I slept with someone else, so naturally I was the bad guy lol. Years later we got married. Was together for 13 years. After being the solo income for 5 years, supporting her and our 2 daughters, the day she finished college she said she wanted to separate. I found out she had been on dating apps for a few months (not that she knows I know this)…
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/24 11:21 PM
2

I feel this so hard. She's already talking to other people and sending nudes and shit. Every day just gets harder.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/24 05:29 PM
1

Honestly I don't even like offspring, but that song has come to mind a few times.
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/24 02:05 AM
2

I just want to add something here. I feel stupid and abused. I've been an absolute doormat. Today I called her out on her shit, stated how it made me feel, and then it turned into psychological warfare. Basically laughed in my face, went off about how much of a piece of shit I am, told me she was sending nudes to some dude while she was at work a day after we hooked up, and that she'll be sleeping with him in the near future and she'll be sure to tell me all the details. I told her to leave and …
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/24 02:03 AM
1

I have had the problem. Blamed it on medication. She hasn't done anything physical, but I know she's been talking to some guy she's never met. It disgusts me, but knowing Im not in a place to move on with someone new, I still have needs too, ya know? If I said no she'd probably spend the night texting someone else, who knows anymore. She's definitely not the person I fell for anymore. I guess I'm just delusional and keep hoping she smartens up before she does something REALLY dumb. The more I ta…
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/24 05:42 AM
2

Oh man, have I ever lol. Solo income struggling keeping food on the table while she spent every dime getting tattooed or buying dumb shit while she was in school.
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/24 02:44 AM
1

That's basically the plan. She's been denied multiple apartments at this point, so it's just kind of playing the waiting game and stuck in this bullshit limbo in the meantime. It's hard, because I'd love nothing more than to reconcile, but realistically, shes basically fucked that up. I just can't wrap my head around how someone can be so cruel about it, ya know?
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/24 02:42 AM
2

That's basically the approach I've been taking. Eating better and exercising more. I've been in terrible health since my oldest was born. I neglected my health to focus on making enough money to keep a roof over our heads and spending time with the kids. It's hard not to think about how I was used and made out to be the villain for so long when I was just trying to get our family ahead. Plus being "replaced" is always tough. Especially when youve worked so hard for your family
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/24 09:58 PM
1

You aren't wrong at all. That's why I feel weak. It's been a very manipulative relationship and I basically put myself in a situation where I became a doormat.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/24 09:54 PM
3

Long story short, we're separated, shes "staying" at her mom's but is here almost every night "for the kids". She sleeps in the bed and I sleep on the couch because I have sleep problems. However we have sex at least once a week. We're basically always together other than work, but I know she's on tinder and shit. It's the dumbest situation, and I'm too damn weak and scared of her retaliation to do anything about it. She's the most vindictive person I've ever met.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/24 06:45 PM
2

Thanks homie! Loving the support 👊🏼
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/24 07:14 PM
2

My man ❤️, that honestly means a lot. I never posted on Reddit until I ran out of resources, but I'm happy I found a group of people who are this supportive and uplifting. The internet is a scary place lol. Day by day I'm just focusing on the kids and trying to get healthy so I can be the dad they deserve. 4 months in now of nonstop mental breakdowns and mind games. Started some medication and therapy to get me back on track. Hopefully one day I'll learn to trust someone again. For now, it's eat…
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/24 06:38 PM
6

I feel the way your friend does. It's fucking hard. Tbh, it's mostly because of the low self esteem I'm sure they developed from all her shit. I'm literally in that boat right now. Was together 13 years, 2 kids, married. She cheated on a bunch, but after being cheated on, I'd try to move on. I forgave her, but she holds it over my head the shit that I did. Then because I get upset with her or show that I'm sad at the state of things, I get called "controlling, crazy, manipulative, etc. meanwhile…
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/24 05:12 PM
2

It's kind of funny, looking at interior design stuff and thinking about how to make the space "mine" is about the only time I'm happy these days. We accumulated so much junk over the years, I can't to clear it all out. The kids are excited that we get to have a garage sale and buy new stuff.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/24 07:25 AM
3

I'm going through this right now too. I'm an out of control emotional wreck. We have 2 kids and the only way she can see them is by coming to the apartment. She's been talking to other guys and I keep hoping she'll change her mind and come home. I'm basically digging my own grave at this point by trying to talk to her. Part of me wants her to pack her all her shit and leave for good so I can start my healing process, but there's the other part that hopes this was a major lapse in judgement befor…
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/24 08:02 PM
1

I appreciate it. It's hard because we've had an on and off history, so I keep holding out hope that things will change, which is why I haven't taken legal action yet. If you don't mind me asking, what are some ways you managed to deal with grieving?
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/24 05:30 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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