Separated 6 months. Up until last week we were still sleeping together. We had talked about wanting a third child. She hit me with the "I'm opening up to the idea of 2 baby daddies". Hit me like a truck.

She's told me over and over again "I'm not ready, I don't want to be with anyone else". She just told me she has a date Monday.

This feeling of being replaced. It feels like it's crushing my chest. The amount of times I've heard "you're a monster, you're awful, you're terrible, you're disgusting" and just this level of betrayal. My family was everything to me. I feel so used. I did everything for her. She didn't have to work so she could focus on school so we could build our "dream" together. The day she finished she left. She's perfectly fine. No guilt, no remorse, no empathy. She's being a heartless cunt. My soul feels shattered in ways that will never heal. I am completely alone. My family and friends are sick of hearing it and have started distancing. I can't be the dad I need to be. Every time I look at them all I can think about is her, and the life she stole from me. I'm not good enough. There is no version of this where I come out "better", or even okay. I'm in therapy but it isn't helping. I'm on medication but it's not enough. To me, there is no "replacing" her. There is no filling that void with other people. To my core, Im in love with her. 13 years, just gone. I'm so tired of hurting like this. Everything I do, all I can think about is her, and the memories we've shared. It was all for nothing. I feel all of this hurt, for nothing. I never wanted kids to begin with, but I'm glad we had them, and I love them with all of my heart. I wanted to give them a loving home with mom and dad. I came from a broken home and it fucked me up. I can't give them that now and it hurts like hell. I'm tired of seeing them hurting over this too. "I miss mommy" every night. I don't want her to be happy with someone else. I want her to feel this hurt. I want her to feel guilt and remorse. I want her to come home. This isn't home anymore. As lame as it sounds "home is where the heart is" rings so true. My head is pounding from how hard I've been crying. I've barely eaten. I can't sleep from the nightmares I have all night every night. I'm just not okay at all and I'm so fucking alone. This is the kind of hurt where you need to cry and be held, and I'm just alone. I know it's weak and pathetic, and I just don't fucking care anymore. This is real pain and I'm suffering. No one deserves to hurt like this.