Wish I was enough.

Rare-Ad-3542 · 2024-09-30T02:37:36+00:00

You’re human dude. No one is perfect. Least she could have done was love you through all that! But alas. I’m so sorry

Yeti_Dude · 2024-09-29T20:38:35+00:00

You are enough - especially for your kids. Just remember that. These are all normal feelings. Mine has been final for almost 6 months and I still feel these same feelings at times. Same stuff everyone else says here - hobbies, get back in the gym, find yourself, (don’t laugh) but journal (write down all of the things that you may have contributed to this over the years and how/what you can change). But the biggest thing is to focus on making yourself better for you and your kids. Don’t even for a second think about dating until you are in a positive position mentally. You got this bro and you WILL come out of this stronger.

lovemywife11 · 2024-09-28T00:44:16+00:00

This post is really how I feel so deeply. We separated right before Christmas. Next week is our “anniversary” I’m so torn up over it. I love her so much that it hurts my head. It’s been 10 months and I haven’t been able to even let up on some of my feelings. I miss my son and family so fucking much. I did read something recently that made a lot of sense. It went like this, commitment means nothing until it’s tested and unfortunately this is how we find out how committed our spouse ever was. I messed up in my relationship and I own it but it is and was fixable. She gave up on us, the family and the marriage long before we separated and put the blame entirely on me.

Now a days. It’s not “ for better or for worse, it’s for better or for divorce”

I hope things get easier for you brother. As I hope mine gets easier. It’s a long hard road and I don’t see a fucking exit anywhere.

Stay strong bro bro

HumorJust7424 · 2024-09-26T22:27:17+00:00

Why do you torment me in my dreams? HIT ME DIFFERENT!

whoisgodiam · 2024-09-26T22:20:30+00:00

Dude, just get a new 20 year old and never marry again. The world is your oyster.

Joocewayne · 2024-09-26T20:49:32+00:00

I read your post and remembered being exactly where you are now, two years ago. You are in the middle of storm right now and likely cannot even fathom its passage. You will make it through and be stronger and wiser for it!

Focus on what you did RIGHT. Don’t beat yourself up and DO NOT ALLOW YOUR EX’S OPINIONS AND WORDS TO DEFINE ANYTHING ABOUT WHO YOU ARE.

Grieve the loss, get mad. Once the fog clears, healing begins and you can see reality a bit more accurately, you will look back and see this time much differently than it feels right now in the moment.

Sea_Broccoli6349 · 2024-09-26T16:50:10+00:00

I'm with you on all of it, but I say that I'm doing fine. I think you need to flip your mindset. I also ache that I was so harshly rejected by a woman who said she would love me forever. I also wish that she wouldn't have done it. But she did! You cannot ignore that. It's her mistake, not yours.

bennyl23 · 2024-09-26T13:06:51+00:00

The dreams man, I hear you. They're brutal. Pretty much every night I have a dream about my wife (we're separated, and most likely headed for divorce). Sex dreams, or just dreams where she wants to be close to me, or we're out somewhere laughing and having a great time. Then I wake up, and it's a punch in the gut.

Objective-Bug-9205 · 2024-09-26T09:56:01+00:00

I wish I was doing better. Made the mistake of texting her tonight out of loneliness as she had mentioned recounciliation I should know better but was weak - she didnt reply back. It's been 6 months and I still feel like crap. Trying to get exercise and do hobbies but still depressed, can only just manage effort to get to work and look after my kids. Honestly the rest of my life looks like a nightmare.

probebeta · 2024-09-26T00:51:35+00:00

I've noticed 3 phases, the sad phase where you are, the angry phase and the recovery phase.

Sad phase is where you're feeling like a failure because ex left for a better life somewhere, allegedly. The angry phase is when you realize it was not just you but your ex is selfish and a bunch of other stuff, ruined you financially, and is now your sworn enemy. Then there is the recovery phase where you change your life and see rapid improvement of yourself, and people start noticing this. This last phase is where things get better but no they don't get better if you dont put in the work. On my kid days I work , babysit, drop off pick up from school, run to meetings, cook, do laundry and after kid sleeps I try to do some work on the side biz. It's not a cakewalk, but it's the only choice I have. So when people say it gets better, it's true but take it with a grain of salt. But... It's a challenge. F* it I'll survive it :)

6-demon-bag808 · 2024-09-25T22:58:15+00:00

You posted my story. It drives me nuts seeing all these dudes here that are happy. I am absolutely miserable and I'm tired of hearing "it'll get better." You aren't alone man.

superman_410 · 2024-09-25T20:47:20+00:00

Bro im in the same boat, my wife just cheated on me, she left, and took both the kids and i am a complete fucking mess, cant sleep, cant eat, dont have motivation to do anything, dont even wanna watch tv, but i can tell u what i have been doin to get through it so far, i started taking lexapro 10mg, seems to be helping, and i am constantly goin through my contact list of family members and friends, i am staying on the phone on and off all day and just talking to everybody really seems to be helping me get through it, if ur a drinker u can drink a couple drinks to take the edge off but dont drink too much its gonna make things worse for u, u can try to stay busy to keep mind off things but its really hard, every little thing reminds of her, i miss her so much but at this point she has hurt me so bad, i dont think i could take her back, besides, i would never be able to trust her again, and this fact is also helping me move on bc at this point i know there is no going back, no since in worrying and being stressed ab something out of your control, it is what it is

l3landgaunt · 2024-09-25T20:42:47+00:00

What I had to do was realize that the woman I married was gone and dead. The woman I’m currently married to is in no way the woman I married and I cannot wait for the divorce to be finalized. I still get sad and lonely, but mainly because of the kids and seeing what this is doing to them. I’ve had all those same feelings that you were experiencing today, but my reflections made me realize that her actions throughout the years towards me were terrible and I just never realized it. Look back on your time together and how she treated you and it may help. For me, I realize that I was constantly told I was wrong and negated. My opinion was always asked for, but never taken into account. We would be in the middle of an activity together and she would ditch me to go hang out with a friend that called. Looking back I realized that she never put me first like I did her and that’s making the process not easier but moving forward for me

Title	Wish I was enough.
Author	Still-Average9690
Upvotes	34
Comments	31
Date	September 25, 2024 8:33 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1fpekqj/wish_i_was_enough/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/wish-i-was-enough.1531582 https://theredarchive.com/post/1531582

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