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mrssmithhh Archive

View 9 posts and 279 comments by mrssmithhh on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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2

If you're having excessive emotions and outbursts at your man, USE those emotions and outbursts to learn about yourself. What are you feeling? In what ways are you disrespectful? What triggers your impulse to be disrespectful? How does this show up in your interactions with your man? How do you mend things afterwards?
/r/RedPillWomen05/09/22 01:36 PM
2

There is nothing about a woman's cycle that isn't meaningful, useful, and profoundly spiritual. Yes, PMS is there to alert you to things which are not positively serving you any longer. Women NEED to do activities which support progesterone production in the second half of their cycle to feel good, and the few days right before menstruation and during menstruation is a time for being inward-focused, calm, and connected to yourself and nature. ​ If you are experiencing distress at anytime in your…
/r/RedPillWomen02/09/22 04:02 PM
1

There are lots and lots of things that go into this. The postpartum period is one of extreme vulnerability, and both partners are typically at their worst, with the least amount of support, care, and empathy given to them. Usually both the husband and wife default to their more negative subconscious behavior patterns. Unfortunately, you can do literally nothing to improve your husband's behavior. The only thing that will happen if you try to "get him to do anything" is to inspire him to neglect …
/r/RedPillWives01/07/22 05:58 PM
1

I had no real, experiential knowledge of how this kinda of self-love felt until I started IFS therapy. Honestly I think it's the most beautiful, powerful thing ever. I gradually begin to discover a "self" independent of my coping mechanisms and human animal impulses. It's been as humbling and uplifting as finding god. It's been a really beautiful process.
/r/RedPillWives30/06/22 09:31 PM
1

I'll reply back in more detail when my kids aren't hanging on me every second lol.
/r/RedPillWives30/06/22 05:40 PM
3

So you're suppressing your own needs right now. Your husband is in no way shape or form going to be able to either feel real compassion for you or even robotically comply with you if you yourself are denying your true feelings. Here's my advice. Set some time apart ( I know it's hard but it will be worth it) to write THE JOURNAL ENTRY of your life. You need to spew EVERY bit of nastiness, without reservation, into this journal entry. You feel abandoned? You need to express it. Don't try to mitig…
/r/RedPillWives29/06/22 07:15 PM
3

The luteal phase IS incredible feminine. If the woman has balanced hormones, progesterone is the dominant hormone in this phase, and progesterone is all about internal sustenance. It is the inner knowing, the inner containment, and this nurtures life. This is the more yin hormone. Estrogen is a female hormone, but it is yang in nature. It is outward focused, and primes a woman to place her focus outwardly whether it is being a great mom or sexual adventures. The yin portion of the menstrual cycl…
/r/RedPillWives29/06/22 07:00 PM
2

This is all due to still outsourcing love from others vs having it within yourself. It's not bad, but it's still all dependent on others validating you. Sexual attention means that you're so wanted (aka lovable) that your husband wants you passionately. Snuggling with your kids is a major boost in estrogen because they are giving you that beautiful unconditional love that children give so perfectly. Compliments from others makes you feel feminine because positive attention means that you are wor…
/r/RedPillWives29/06/22 06:44 PM
1

You do need to use some self-discipline, but it's SO much easier to use that self-discipline when you understand WHY you are triggered, WHY you deploy the self-defense mechanisms you use, WHERE those came from, and then understand that you can self-coach the parts of you that are reacting in this way and you can do with from a place of love, not a place of self-imposed tyranny. I lead a FB group all about this. I do offer coaching on it, but if you're not interested in the coaching there's just …
/r/RedPillWives15/04/22 04:47 PM
2

Sound like you need to learn to work on your issues (bottling up emotions until they explode, ect) and leave his issues for him to work on himself. It also sounds like you are in a role reversal' you are pursuing him for sex whenever you feel an emotional urgency/threat/disconnect, and he is "allowing" sex but his male desire to seek and penetrate is gone and he is submitting to you instead. You need to forget him for a bit (in a nice way, not a get-the-hell-out way) and focus on yourself and on…
/r/RedPillWives15/04/22 01:19 AM
1

Ummmm this is an amazing comment. Thank you so much for such a deep, insightful, honest reply!
/r/RedPillWives15/04/22 01:11 AM
1

This has been really helpful for me. https://www.etsy.com/listing/1192886611/self-therapy-to-transform-beliefs
/r/RedPillWives15/04/22 01:03 AM
3

I don't really believe that CICO is the ultimate truth to weight loss. After my 3rd child I struggled to lose weight. I still am about 10lbs overweight, to be honest, but for a while it was like 30lbs overweight. I finally realized that there were emotional issues driving me to binge eat, and driving me to hold on to the extra weight. I felt bogged down by life, and it was reflected by my attitude and my outward appearance. When I realized that my attitudes about the situation, and what I took i…
/r/RedPillWives15/04/22 12:30 AM
3

I'm really sorry. It's very hard to try to step into the role of "Happy mom" when there are clouds hanging over your head. Been there. From what I can see, there are many things going on here - you felt like you weren't being heard; you employed a tactic to protect/defend yourself from the pain of not being heard; your self-protective tactic triggered his own issues and he responded with his own defense mechanism; no clear resolution of the triggering event(s); his reluctance to openly accept yo…
/r/RedPillWives15/04/22 12:09 AM
1

Also, chronic pain is often a result of suppressed emotions. If you journal, I would try journaling out everything that bothers you, causes any sort of negative thought or emotion, completely unfiltered. Let out all that bothers or has ever bothered you. It will absolutely help your body's pain.
/r/RedPillWomen29/10/21 05:07 PM
2

Y'all, this is cruel self-punishment. Feminity isn't about hating yourself into something that someone else will accept. If you had a little child who was sick, would you harp on and criticize that child for not looking picture-perfect? Of course not. Care for yourself. Address your pain, be kind to yourself. Health is also about your emotions and attitudes, as well as diet/exercise. Prioritize yours real needs and then allow your body to grow healthier as you are able.
/r/RedPillWomen29/10/21 05:05 PM
2

It may sound strange, but the actual feminine energy is about being, not doing. Doing is a very masculine energy. It never fully solves the problem because true feminine beauty comes from the embodiment of feminine energy. Plus, approaching your body from a place of forcing it to strictly conform to outside standards is a clear message to your body that it is unappreciated and is only good enough if it fits into a very confining box. Talk about internal resentment. It may sound impractical or sc…
/r/RedPillWomen29/10/21 04:52 PM
1

Daddy issues are very real. Girls with unavailable dads "fall in love" with men who will never be available to give them the love, security, and protection they crave at a core level. By falling in love with you, they are subconsciously trying to get Daddy to love them they way they wished he did when they were little.
/r/TheRedPill01/04/21 03:21 AM
1

I would assume so. My husband seems to think I've lost my mind whenever I suggest sex without ejaculation lol, so I would guess most men would think tantric sex is weird and only a recipe for blue balls.
/r/TheRedPill01/11/20 04:36 PM
1

There is a sex practice where the man retains his ejaculation. I would love to do this with my husband. It's actually supposed to enhance love, attraction, and keep both partners in balance. Sex likes this becomes (supposedly, since I haven't personally been able to try it) a spiritual practice, of two halves becoming one in body and soul. Sounds beautiful, in my opinion.
/r/TheRedPill31/10/20 08:57 PM
2

I agree that the feeling of "being in love" is superficial, and based on the emotions a man can make me feel in that moment. I also think that monogamy was designed to force men and women to confront these superficial feelings, to confront our past, our shadows, our triggers, so that we can grow into a more complete self, more full of love and balance. I do not see how women could be incapable of fully opening up to higher purposes, since women are an essential piece of this higher spiritual pur…
/r/TheRedPill31/10/20 08:52 PM
14

Wow. So very poignant. I have to wonder if this is an argument for early marriages. If you marry the person who you fall so deeply in love with as a late teen or young adult, with the iron-clad resolution of staying with each other through everything, then there is a very real possibility that you could have grown as a man, as an individual, expanded your horizons, experienced different cultures, and the intense infatuation with your first love could have deepened from an immature obsession to a…
/r/TheRedPill12/10/20 04:22 PM
3

Haven't tried it in my own relationship, but I've read some things about sex without orgasm. Supposedly it fights the Coolidge effect within relationships, and maintains high testosterone levels in men and encourages high levels of bonding. So for men it should create a win-win feeling of having high drive and desire for sex within the relationship he has committed to. John Gray (of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus) and David Deida (one of his books is in the sidebar for recommended readi…
/r/TheRedPill26/08/20 01:57 AM
4

Why not harness a biological drive (sex) and make it work for you? Men are men, and a man's sex drive can be a glorious thing. Why not master it, so that you're the one in control, and use the focus, the drive, the pure testosterone to rocket you into achievement or whatever higher goals your soul can muster? You don't have to have promiscuous, vapid, self-serving sex to tap into your masculinity.
/r/TheRedPill25/08/20 07:23 PM
1

Amen. It's like people have forgotten that actual risks come with sex - including your health, finances, emotions, social life, future, and legal.
/r/TheRedPill31/07/20 06:26 PM
1

Still have zero desire to private chat with you, but I will agree that the West did a terrible thing when it got rid of God and destroyed the family, and I agree that porn is a hateful, disgusting thing and we are all entirely too selfish. It is heartbreaking in my opinion.
/r/RedPillWives07/07/20 06:46 PM
1

If you say so. However I was deeply embedded in the Arab community in my area, and met people from Syria, Lebanon, Egypt, Iran, Pakistan, and Afghanistan. I worked very closely in their families to help with immigration issues, and gave so much of my personal time, effort, and money to set them up with English classes, jobs, and to help their kids in school. The men were nearly always sleaze bags. I quit working with them after a while because I couldn't tolerate the lude comments. I've never me…
/r/RedPillWives06/07/20 07:56 PM
1

Yes, very, very bad experiences with Muslims. It was a nightmare, and I'm glad I finally got out of it. I cannot say all are bad, but they do not belong in the West. Islam is not what it is held up to be.
/r/RedPillWives06/07/20 07:31 PM
2

Why would I go to you in private? I'm not trolling. I 100% believe what I say. You posted publicly in this sub. I am completely within my boundaries to openly despise what you say. You came here to stir up trouble anyways. You already knew what you believed and had no interest in being open to these women's answers.
/r/RedPillWives06/07/20 07:14 PM
2

Non-Islamic, non-Mormon women generally hate it. I would be heartbroken if my husband told me he even wanted to bring another woman into the bond he and I have created. You really shouldn't post here. Seriously. Just stick to Islamic women. Western women are not compatible with Islam, nor is Islam compatible with the West.
/r/RedPillWives06/07/20 07:08 PM
1

Women can be angry. It's ok to be indignant at your man being irresponsible for doing something as reckless as creating the possibility of getting an STI. He may get upset, but women have an obligation to be angry when it is appropriate. Otherwise you're just being dishonest in the relationship.
/r/RedPillWives06/07/20 07:03 PM
1

The new passion that comes in from new sexual relationships is a temporary high. It always crashes. It's easy to fall into the trap of it since t does seem to reignite or push the old relationship to newer/better places, but it never lasts, and the come down is always bitter.
/r/RedPillWives06/07/20 06:59 PM
2

It's kind of an understandable mistake - trying to give your man what he needs when you're not around - but the truth is, he gives his masculinity to whatever his gives his sexual attention to. It's never "just sex." There are always non-sexual costs to every single sexual interaction. A man's sexual energy can he drained by work, stress, embarassment, porn, flirtations, lustful thoughts - if he is spending his sex drive on text messages and if he is even daydreaming about another woman, he is p…
/r/RedPillWives06/07/20 06:56 PM
3

Not bad advice - it's useful - but it seems a little flat to me. Shouldn't the grace of becoming older be the maturity, the increased capacity for being loving, being sagacious, for bringing the full force of feminine passion and love and joy, freedom, nurturing, to those around you?
/r/RedPillWives06/07/20 06:44 PM
2

Yes, polyamory is pushed much more. Maybe I should have said that. But all the "soft harem" stuff is a non-legal polygamy, and a man who has been divorced multiple times and still paying alimony or child support to each previous spouse is still financially married to that woman. I see polyamory being pushed where it's a guy, his bi-girlfriend, and they both pull girls for entertainment. Yes, I should have been more careful with the polyamory/polygamy terms. Btbh, (warning: rant ensuing) I'm real…
/r/RedPillWives06/07/20 06:38 PM
3

Diddo. In my experience though, Islamic men are totally arrogant and thick-skulled. Yes, I have a very strong anti-Islam bias. Dated an Islamic man from Cairo for over a year and that culture DOES NOT mesh well with Western values.
/r/RedPillWives06/07/20 05:28 PM
2

If you already knew the responses, then why did you bother to ask? I dated an Islamic man from Cairo for about a year. It was hell, and I learned a lot about the religion and the really infuriating way Islamic men view women. Stick to Arab, Islamic women, and let the rest of us alone. I disdain the disgusting, condescending tone and impossible arrogance (although tbh most of the Arab men I met were impulsive, hot-headed, and generally illogical and dumb, but saddled with massive egos.) I have no…
/r/RedPillWives06/07/20 05:27 PM
3

Honestly I think polygamy is being pushed hardcore outside of conservative Christian culture, but it really does suck all around for everyone - even men. Yeah, men will spout off bs about "spreading seed and wanting perpetually fertile 18 year olds," but even men can be more than biological animals and real love is so much more than men getting to rut and women getting money.
/r/RedPillWives06/07/20 05:20 PM
2

Right! It could be doable if the marriage were mostly just an arrangement, without true feelings involved. Yeah, then, I guess it would he ok if he had another woman, as long as I had the material possessions I required.
/r/RedPillWives06/07/20 05:18 PM
2

Not one bit. No woman who hasn't been taught to accept it since early childhood likes the idea of her "one true love" sharing his heart, body, time, and resources with any other woman.
/r/RedPillWives06/07/20 05:16 PM
1

I’m doing my part. I wonder if it’s the women who will have to head a new movement and try to mend the brokenness between men and women. I also wonder if things will progress the way they are until we have total economic collapse, at which point women will be forced to be traditional should they wish to keep themselves and their children alive. I believe I’m helping the world by raising my family in a traditional way, with traditional conservative values (albeit we are atheists, we believe the u…
/r/TheRedPill09/11/19 12:08 AM
6

This is why I eat the carnivore diet. I don’t trust most medical advice. Really, I am more and more thinking that the Red Pill philosophies be applied in a pro-man/woman union, instead of man vs woman. If men and women were on the same team again, we would be unstoppable and there would be no room for government to meddle and plot. As oppositional as men and women’s sexual strategies are, we have a nearly perfect alliance in monogamy. We’re meant to be together as a team.
/r/TheRedPill05/11/19 05:59 PM
4

One question - what do you want a woman to bring to you, apart from sex? What do you like about the feminine? Why do you want a woman (besides the vagina)? Does that question make sense? Sometimes it seems like a lot of guys say they want a girl, but act like they want a guy with a vagina. So sometimes I wonder what it is about the feminine persona that men want in their lives.
/r/TheRedPill09/10/19 10:02 AM
15

This is honesty the best way to view marriage - for the woman, too. He is interviewing for a potential employer and she is deciding whether or not she wants to vote for him as president of her future life. It should be logical and mutually beneficial for both parties. Ironically enough, entering into a relationship based off of weighing rationalities is the best chance for life-long romance and passion. I kinda wish there was a movement to bring RP men and women back onto the same team. For all …
/r/TheRedPill09/10/19 09:55 AM
0

Not necessarily disagreeing with you. All of your points are valid and truthful. Monogamously bonded marriage-type relationships are the safest, surest way to ensure DNA survival and health. Even polygamous marriages crest too much resource competition for the children, and Dad invests more time with the children of the favorite wife than other children, or spends too much time and energy looking to add more women rather than cultivating what he already has. Father’s are vital to a kid’s develop…
/r/TheRedPill01/09/19 12:03 PM
3

A woman would have to believe herself to be pretty worthless to agree to a situation like that upfront. In a woman’s mind, the man is basically declaring her to be someone not worth investing in. This means commitment is not real, it’s simply temporary. When things gets hard or inconvenient, the man will leave. This means her most attractive years will he uses up by a man who will then leave her without love or protection. All of this also means that the kid gets shanked, too. Children and moms …
/r/TheRedPill01/09/19 01:47 AM
1

I understand how marriage seems like it puts men in a absolute vulnerable position and gives women total power, and as we all know, power corrupts. Some counter points: women are afraid that men never turn off their sexual strategy either. Ever heard of men wanting side pieces, or leaving their middle aged wife for a 20 secretary? No woman can stop agin unless she simply dies. Women have fear, too. Also, in traditional marriage, a woman is made very vulnerable by having to exclusively rely on he…
/r/TheRedPill01/09/19 12:27 AM
2

If the world could have more compassionate RP men, we’d all be echelons happier. Again, a man who understands the reality of male/female dynamics but who also is caring is an utter godsend. A loving rp man is unlike any other creature. Keep it up!
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/19 10:03 AM
3

I know that I want sex to be whatever indicates an intense desire for me from my husband. If he wants me so badly that he gets a little rough, than it’s pretty hot. If he is so in love with me that he has to tenderly make love to me and he soft and sweet, then I melt. I personally just want whatever tells me that my husband, the one I love, desires me in an intense and meaningful way.
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/19 09:33 AM
2

No no, of course not! Women are afraid of men who understand how to manipulate and exploit female needs without having compassion or tenderness for the women. The red pill really seems to create men who are armed with the most harsh, bleak truths about the weakest and most flawed aspects of female nature, and who also seem dead-set on making sure that women seem unworthy of being treated with compassion, integrity, or ethically. A man who understands red pill truths but who also actually cares a…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/19 09:10 AM
2

Honestly I think, even when knowing red pill principles, men and women completely misunderstand one another. I wish there would be a general movement to bring men and women together as a team again. Right now it seems like you have blue pill people, who are typically delusional about the underlying animal nature of the opposite sex, vs red pill, which is bleakly honest about the base animal instincts of the opposite sex and paints of picture of bravely living without true trust or love between m…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/19 08:56 AM
1

Honestly yeah, that’s repulsive. Lots of guys who want to enjoy the most intimate physical relationship possible, but who most likely wouldn’t be up for a fraction of the emotional relationship as well. It would be like random women drooling over a man’s bank account, thinking how great it would be to decorate, shop, do cosmetic surgery/enhancements, go on vacations, etc, and wondering what they would need to do to be able to get the guy to give up access to his money. Guys see an attractive wom…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/19 01:30 AM
2

This is pretty common for women, tbh. I can see an objectively attractive man and feel zero desire for him. It’s the same feeling as admiring a friend’s new ring. You’re happy for her, you think her ring is gorgeous and you can see what all the fuss is about, but you are sweetly smug at the fact that you are the only one who has your ring, and it is the best ring in the world in your opinion, and you love it and could never even fathom trying on the other gorgeous ring because your ring is meant…
/r/PurplePillDebate26/08/19 01:06 AM
2

According to The Boy Crisis, it is worse for males. Females suffer, and have lots of negative ramifications from lack of fathers, but boys suffer MUCH more, and in more ways. Women tend to end up promiscuous due to lack of perceived value to men, but the boys end up criminal, depressed, disfunctional in nearly every way. The women at least seem to have an innnate emotional ability to find connections that gives them more purpose and resiliency, and they also usually have a ready-made blueprint f…
/r/TheRedPill22/08/19 05:32 PM
9

I’m beginning to be more and more convinced that I am the one who truly has all the power in my home, because I am the hand that rocks the cradle. I tell my sons what is right and wrong, I show them what is fun, what is expected, they come with me everywhere socially, I control all the conversations, traditions, games, and friends they could have. I make the table, the food that could either nourish them or hurt them, I’m the one who brings all of us together for all family events and family tim…
/r/TheRedPill22/08/19 05:19 PM
2

Sweat is a form of excrement, and saunas produce lots of sweat, and it gives your body a big opportunity to get rid of unwanted hormones. It’s a good tool to use, and helps out a lot when your other excretory organs are overloaded.
/r/TheRedPill22/08/19 04:43 PM
3

Nothing will satisfy you or be as healthy as steak. Eggs might be the only realistic runner-up, if you’re a ovo-vegetarian. Meat is necessary for brain and hormonal health. You can only get certain essential nutrients from meats, without which humans can have some serious brain and health issues. It’s as human to eat meat as it is to want love or affection. You can be an animal lover and eat meat. Nothing wrong with caring for a creature and attending to its happiness and needs and then harvesti…
/r/TheRedPill22/08/19 04:39 PM
14

Changes during ovulation are real if a woman is not chemically altered by fake hormones. Without birth control, I have very distinct changes during my cycle. I even notice that when I’m ovulating, I’m a better driver, and when I’m PMSing I’m an awful driver. I seem to lack quick executive decision making skills and feel muddled in a flood of hazy emotions, and I notice that it makes my driving worse. But when ovulating I have no problem making quick decisions and have excellent reflexes and have…
/r/TheRedPill18/08/19 12:16 PM
2

Women can be extremely rational. The difference is we start from a very different set of values than men, and our priorities are different. There’s a method to the madness, and it makes perfect sense to us.
/r/TheRedPill06/08/19 08:05 AM
1

Sounds sad. Like she sexulaized her sadness because it was the only way to be with him and to deal with reality. She should break up with the guy.
/r/PurplePillDebate06/08/19 07:10 AM
1

No I prefer these questions. I’m quite surprised that no one one here mentioned the things I had done wrong. The neighbor is not hot. In shape since he does rehab and training for a living, but definitely not hot. I thought it was weird that he would offer his devices for free and found out he normally changes $150 per hour. I looked online at my irs transcript and didn’t see where it says if I filed dependent or not. Maybe I’m not reading it correctly. I think I am dishonest with him sometimes.…
/r/RedPillWives01/08/19 04:33 AM
1

When things are bad like this, that’s one of my biggest treason for staying. I grew up with no father around and I now have two sons. I want them to have a dad. I guess I think to myself that I went wrong by choosing him to be a father. But now he is the dad and they have his genes and his influence. Why would I split us all up, when he will be in their lives regardless? It will only spare me. They will still be exposed to him through visitations/custody.
/r/RedPillWives01/08/19 02:25 AM
1

Do you fast 2-4 weeks at once? Do you do a water fast?
/r/RedPillWomen30/07/19 07:57 PM
3

Such wonderful advice! Thank you so much!
/r/RedPillWomen27/07/19 04:46 PM
2

Honestly, it’s a hard situation to be in. The same applies to women who aren’t getting the validation/attention/affection/whatever they crave from their husbands. If your spouse, the person who is supposed to love you, have your back, and who sees you at an incredibly intimate level, doesn’t feel or act like you are worth being excited about, then you’d have to be inhuman to not take a blow to your self esteem. Of course we all care what our spouse thinks about us. I guess the trick is to act in…
/r/askMRP27/07/19 03:33 PM
1

I think that people are always secretly sussing out who is “right” and who is “wrong,” and are almost sparing in their conversations about who has the moral high ground.
/r/RedPillWomen27/07/19 02:04 AM
5

I didn’t say any of that in the post... however, I did say that the typical standard is to be frumpy. It’s expected and almost encouraged.
/r/RedPillWomen27/07/19 01:38 AM
13

i Would say that the girls are probably being truthful. Most girls dream about the future and see a man and kids and could spend hours decorating and taking care of a house. This is their dream, and they’re passionate about it. The same girl who sincerely wants a family is also screwing around because, I believe, she a) has had her critical thinking skills beaten out of her by public schooling, b) has some very serious daddy issues from childhood and dangling sex for male attention is her only m…
/r/TheRedPill26/07/19 05:13 PM
15

That’s the biggest thing I see. I think it’s accepting mediocrity as the standard, and I am sensing some strong negative social vibes whenever I break out of that. And some moms/mom groups are more positive than others, but it seems like right now there is a large culture push for women post-kids to be NPC mediocre blobs.
/r/RedPillWomen26/07/19 04:45 PM
10

Oh I get what you’re saying. I think I’m entirely appropriate with my clothes and don’t go overboard or dress out of what is acceptable. It’s just that even when I do things like athlesuire with nice hair and some jewelry, it’s still way nicer than the other moms and I am feeling the vibes of not sticking to mom code of “frump is best.” I’m starting to feel a an edging out from women who aren’t my closest friends. The women who I really click with don’t seem to care what I wear, and enjoy my com…
/r/RedPillWomen26/07/19 04:43 PM
1

Thanks!! I love my version of FW and will probably also purchase this version, too. Lol it’s become my Bible and I read it and reread it constantly.
/r/RedPillWomen25/07/19 02:59 PM
3

HAHAHAHA yes. Pablo Neruda is every Dylan’s Handbook For The Sensitive Soul. That and Charles Buckowski.
/r/RedPillWomen25/07/19 02:57 AM
2

Are there multiple copies of Fascinating Womanhood? I have a copy by Helen B Andelin and it says nothing about sex in the relationship. It was published 1965, and has a pink cover.
/r/RedPillWomen25/07/19 02:38 AM
1

He is taking a whole lot of heat for posting here, and he is responding very calmly and without any name-calling or anything out of line. Maybe he does want to be different, maybe he does want women to show him something good. MGTOW can overall be quite terrible, but he is not acting like the stereotype and perhaps deserves to be judged apart from the group, as an individual, on his own merit.
/r/RedPillWomen23/07/19 05:54 PM
1

I really don’t understand why everyone is so hard on you. Seems like you want to open up a conversation and be heard. Maybe even he convinced that there are some good women still out there, somewhere. Maybe your post is awkward or not usual, but I see zero to often here.
/r/RedPillWomen23/07/19 05:51 PM
1

If you walk the talk, then you are a man above most others and you will, indeed, have a hard time finding a woman who truly fits that bill. I would say such a woman is a true beauty and a definite rarity.
/r/RedPillWomen23/07/19 05:47 PM
1

I think people here are being too harsh on you. I would be interested to listen to a MGTOW man about who he is and why. I want to know what relationship-oriented men value and appreciate in women, but I also want to know what drives MGTOW men away.
/r/RedPillWomen23/07/19 05:44 PM
1

Honestly it sounds like your husband is so full of resentment that he simply cannot/will not lift a finger to meet your needs. He wants late-night sex after a full day of work and kid duty and (if I read this right in the previous comments) house cleaning? My husband was like this a long time ago. He has changed, but it was only after I absolutely dropped all hints of expecting him to do or be anything. He was so full of resentment that he did not have it in him to do a single nice thing for me.…
/r/RedPillWives23/07/19 10:09 AM
1

Yay! Honestly, I think that overall men are pretty willing to move on once they see that you are respecting them in the way they want and quickoyband succinctly addressing the situion and taking your share of the blame. They seem to really want to get on with enjoying themselves, and are willing to be open to being convinced that their woman is awesome.
/r/RedPillWives23/07/19 09:48 AM
1

Oh my goodness. You must be reliving a scene in my marriage. Partially - yes. There is an aspect that is going to be unfair about this. You know how the red pill community says a man must always be a rock? Well, I personally think that the woman (if we’re going by traditions gender roles, which most people innately want and most fights are about) will always be expected to “read” the needs and the mind of the man, and to allow him to have his need and wants without comment, and to serve him in a…
/r/RedPillWives23/07/19 09:45 AM
1

As a divorce lawyer, what is the secret to a blissful marriage? Is it actually ever really possible for a man and a woman to live with a beautiful, tender and unbreakable love for an entire lifetime?
/r/RedPillWives23/07/19 09:35 AM
1

Excellent advice.
/r/RedPillWives23/07/19 09:21 AM
2

Fascinating Womanhood has been the absolute best thing for me in helping my marriage. One thing that really struck me from the book was one part that explained how, if a woman is down and depressed and sad, and very good and houghtdul man will try to help her feel better, but that the default is for men to expect women to provide the cheerfulness and happiness in the relationship. It struck me because it seems like men have a limit to how much unhappiness they can take from a woman, and their em…
/r/RedPillWives23/07/19 09:18 AM
2

I’m realizing more and more how scary it is to actually be feminine. It seems like, by becoming and rafting in truly feminine ways, you’re giving up all methods of defending or protecting yourself. You want to be able to relax and trust, but let’s be honest - you (and by you, I mean me) probably learned to stop trusting and start controlling by late childhood/early adolescence, when you stopped looking like a child and started to look a bit more womanly. The further I get into this journey the m…
/r/RedPillWives23/07/19 09:12 AM
1

I agree. Actions are what matters in the end. Maybe I just don’t want to acknowledge certain things about men because it makes me feel so extremely vulnerable and open to being hurt. I hate to think that, though, because I have to trust my husband, and I have to trust all the other the men in my life. Male sexuality is something I (obviously) have lots of uneasiness about. If you’re in a cage with a hungry tiger, you want to believe the tiger has a magical bond with you above everyone else, othe…
/r/PurplePillDebate21/07/19 01:36 AM
2

Oh my. I’m so so sorry.
/r/RedPillWomen20/07/19 01:27 PM
1

I’m so sorry for all your losses. I hope you get the baby you’re hoping for!
/r/RedPillWomen20/07/19 01:25 PM
1

I’m so sorry for all your loss.
/r/RedPillWomen20/07/19 01:23 PM
1

I’m not sure what other miscarriages are like. I only know how mine was. Thank you so much for everything your wrote. Lots of things to consider.
/r/RedPillWomen20/07/19 01:23 PM
2

It’s just that women in the past would lose multiple children, and live children would die. Like they would birth 14 children and have only 8 survive, and who knows how many miscarriages would happen in between births. I wonder if they just had to make themselves hard, because I don’t want to try for more children after this, and yet they did, they kept going.
/r/RedPillWomen20/07/19 01:19 PM
3

Thank you! That has really been striking to me - how differently my husband and I are dealing with it. I haven’t detected a trace of meanness in him, but he has told me to stop stalking about it and just move on, and once he even interrupted me crying to do something on a video game. Then he asked me if I needed therapy, and he was sincere, not sarcastic. The amount of him just not understanding how I feel is really profound. I think in his head it’s really just over and done, and he doesn’t und…
/r/RedPillWomen20/07/19 01:16 PM
3

I never mind the prayers of strangers. I think I feel too strong. Everyone assures me that it’s normal to feel so sad, and not selfish or guilty, but I feel largely unable to open up in my non-internet life. I want to. I think it would be a relief.
/r/RedPillWomen20/07/19 01:12 PM
3

Thank you. Your kind words are so sweet.
/r/RedPillWomen20/07/19 01:09 PM
2

I understand. I already have two and always wanted five. Now I feel that I don’t want anymore. Sorry for your loss as well.
/r/RedPillWomen20/07/19 01:03 PM
2

I actually think that love-based marriage is a bad idea. I believe that marriage would be a better success for the West if we still viewed it as a job and “interviewed” prospective partners for how well they could play their role. That being said, I also believe that marriage is the absolute best place to experience the most fulfilling romantic love. What should a woman do if she can’t admire and love her husband, and be cherished and adored from the only man she’s allowed to be with? I understa…
/r/PurplePillDebate20/07/19 01:02 PM
7

Seriously. I have have two children and been hunting and am not usually easily grossed out. This was just a whole different level. No one ever mentioned, ever breathed about how utterly violent and macabre a miscarriage is. Death indeed. I just wish I could let the baby know that I loved him so. I thought about burying him, but the gruesome truth is there were so many pieces and so much blood that it just wasn’t possible. Such an unfitting end to a little baby who I wanted so badly.
/r/RedPillWomen18/07/19 01:44 AM
7

I truly cannot imagine the pain of a stillborn. Oh my, what a blow, so so sad. I sincerely hope all goes well with your second child. It is such a lovely thing when all goes well. I hope you get to enjoy a thriving child in your arms. I also wondered if my husband felt the way you described. He has been very attentive to me, showering me with concern and care and doing anything I hint at, but that comment was seemed so... so cold. I don’t even think he had any mean or cruel intentions. It seemed…
/r/RedPillWomen18/07/19 01:41 AM
13

Oh my goodness. You sound like such a beautiful woman. I’m actually quite struck by how much more good and valuable life seems to me after this. And it’s odd - my body expelled my baby, and yet I don’t resent my body. I feel oddly defensive of it. Like... I personally would have done anything to keep the baby, but my body was operating on a very ancient wisdom and was doing its best to protect me and to protect the species. Is that a weird way of looking at it? I’m so sorry about your struggles.…
/r/RedPillWomen18/07/19 01:38 AM
11

How do you cope with it? I’m torn between extremes of torrential emotions of just ungodly sadness, and then feeling stone cold and business-like about it. I also have this really heavy feeling that I’m being selfish by making such a big deal about how I feel about it, and that I’m being unreasonable.
/r/RedPillWomen18/07/19 12:45 AM
7

I hope you and your man have a happy reunion and that, in the end, you and he enjoy the love you dream about. I’ve had a not too dissimilar journey over the past 8-ish months, and I’ve been absolutely gob-smacked at how many defenses I’ve put up over the years and just how badly hurt the entire feminist movement left me. I look back at myself in my childhood and teenage years, and i remember wishing so badly that my dad and mom would be together, that my mom had time for us instead of working. I…
/r/RedPillWomen17/07/19 12:39 PM
1

Then relationships are a scam and neither gender would ever be fit from having monogamous relationships. If men literally can never be deeply satisfied with one woman to the point where he doesn’t want sex with anyone else, then I think I’m better off shutting off my heart and living off of daytime TV and bon bons. Honestly I’d rather just die than never be loved, cherished, protected like I’m the only woman in the world. If other women exist for my man, then he doesn’t actually love me and I’ve…
/r/PurplePillDebate16/07/19 05:56 PM
1

Grandkids, bro. We women need them. We need babies. Just let us have babies!!!
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/19 10:04 PM
1

I can see the good of that. Do you ever wish that you could recapture a bonding feeling from sex? Do you ever view a woman differently after sex?
/r/PurplePillDebate15/07/19 09:38 PM
5

I think this applies to me. I always felt like I lost pieces of my soul through sex, and breathed a deep sigh of relief and peace when I could feel safe in a “one and forever” marriage relationship. I had sex before my marriage, but to this day regret it all. The reality is we have all been lied to so profoundly, and we all have to heal ourselves. The only way to do that is to face the reality of how destructive sex can be for women outside of committed, loving marriage, and then rebuild and con…
/r/RedPillWomen14/07/19 06:15 PM
1

I think, masculinzed women are worse then normal men or women. Masculinzed women = feminine emotional charge +susceptibility to emotional manipulation + self-righteous indignation + aggression. It’s also tragic that we have been immunized from the dangers of life. Red Pill mentality makes a lot more sense after you see how bloody and dangerous childbirth is. I think a lot of the red pill attitudes will come back once the economy has its inevitable crash. The red pill is based in reality. Once ou…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/19 06:06 PM
1

I don’t think empathy is common, especially across genders. It does seem to be the key to figuring all this out, though.
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/19 05:58 PM
4

A lot of women actually don’t enjoy sex for its own sake. Women aren’t men. Women have been taught to have sex like they’re men, and it makes a woman unstable and insane. Just scoring sex does not make a woman feel happy, valuable, or good about herself. It does the opposite. Any woman who insists she loves no strings attached sex is lying to herself. Take a close look at her and you will see signs of emotional disturbance. A woman who goes out and gets random sex without commitment, love, or tr…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/19 05:55 PM
0

I’m not sure why you’re trying to say one gender has it worse than the other. Men will use a woman for sex, and women will use a man for money or favors. Both are being used without regard for how or what they are as a person. Both are being treated as sub-human and both are hoping that, by offering something (sex, or money) that the other wants, they will prove themselves valuable and an asset to have around. Both have been lied to about how to actually be someone of value. Both genders have fe…
/r/PurplePillDebate12/07/19 05:41 PM
1

This is awesome advice. I started doing it too and have had some great results! I have two toddlers 3 and under at home with me full time, and by the end of the day there’s really not a whole lot left over for me to feel energetic, spontaneous, or that capable of being anything other than tired and ready to crash. I’ve set aside specific nights of the week without telling my husband, and made sure I’m mentally ready to go into “girlfriend mode”. I do what I need to do to get into that mindset an…
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/19 12:52 PM
2

My husband and I got dangerously close to splitting up when J was pregnant with our first. Single motherhood was staring my dead in the eyes and it was terrifying. I have wondered what’s i would have done had we split up. Abortion was out of the question simply because I believe it’s wrong, but for me and the baby, life as a single-mother household would not have been easy. I think, in the abstract, giving the baby up for adoption to a two-parent household would have lodically been the best choi…
/r/RedPillWomen12/07/19 02:09 AM
2

Carnivore diet. Doing the carnivore diet long-term can do amazing things for health (which will help hashimoto’s and her weight will be a body-proportionate reflection of good female health). If you really love her, and she sincerely wishes to make you happy, then this could be a golden opportunity for you two to tackle her hashimoto’s together and to help her become a better version of herself. It seems like the only question you have to answer is what will make you walk away or not - what’s yo…
/r/askMRP10/07/19 05:54 PM
1

Depth, culture, knowledge of good literature and appropriate insight into what makes things meaningful is one of the biggest turn-one ever. A powerful (ie capable) man, who values beauty, sees the larger purpose of life and has the soul of a poet and the operating mode of a general is probable every woman’s ultimate fantasy. I’m getting wet just writing about it and thinking of it. Lord Tennyson’s Ulysses is The Man. Probably real-life Marcus Arlious was this type of man. No woman would ever be …
/r/TheRedPill09/07/19 04:05 PM
2

I looked sperm competition theory. Really interesting. You said some other things that I think have a lot of merit to them. I certainly don’t think you’re wrong about a lot of what you said. Maybe... maybe we’re both right. Maybe we developed both strategies at different times in our history.
/r/RedPillWomen09/07/19 12:53 AM
5

Don’t try to flirt with a guy at your guy unless you have a REALLY strong feeling that you two would hit it off. Guys + girls+ Strenuous physical activity+ girly gym clothes=guys who turn into testosterone chimps. You’ll never be able to work out again in peace.
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/19 05:28 PM
5

I had the almost the exact same experience as you. 25, wanting to get married, meeting lots of guys but none of them marriage-minded and the men I met who were interested in families were much older and already married. I did online dating. I joined OKCupid and within two days met my husband. He was my second date off of the site, and I deactivated my profile after going out with him. Be warned: online dating can be awesome since you can screen, but it’s insane out there for an attractive woman.…
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/19 05:23 PM
1

I doubt it. I never knew a woman who had casual “no strings” attached sex who also was in touch with her own feelings and who wasn’t artificially masculinized through school and cultural messsges. I’m not arguing that women don’t enjoy sex for the physical aspect only. But women were unable to have random sex for purely physical pleasure until about 40 years ago. I doubt female psychogical nature has rewritten its entire millennia of evolution in just a few short decades. Human women have an inn…
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/19 05:16 PM
1

Fascinating.
/r/RedPillWomen05/07/19 07:36 PM
2

Honestly dating without intent of finding a marriage partner is basically a sure way to smash up your heart and become jaded and unavailable for that one special person who actually could be a real Prince Charming. Don’t date in high school unless you’d actually marry the boy you’re dating. Seriously. Everyone in high school will pressure you to have sex and do practically everything which statistically derails your future. If you don’t see a future with this guy then just break up with him and …
/r/RedPillWomen05/07/19 07:23 PM
0

Not necessarily true. If the man has any sort of awareness about how women work, then he realizes that casual sex is damaging for women. He realizes that most women are making a covert contract with the man by hoping to trade sex for affection/a committe relationship. I believe a man who is OK with “spinning plates” is pretty low in the integrity department. It’s exploiting the vulnerability of a low-value or damaged person for personal gain. It would be just like an attractive girl allowing bet…
/r/RedPillWomen05/07/19 07:16 PM
1

School literally beats the spark of life out of most people, especially males. Drop out of university. It’s practically worthless unless you want to be a doctor. Go get a job in the oil field, or be a gold miner, or work with animals, or do anything that has even a hint of interest for you. You sound like a guy who had a lot of hopes and slowly realized that a great majority of the world is heartless and calloused and hates people and wants to squish out the soul in people. The majority of the w…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/19 04:54 PM
0

This is so sad, and not unusual now. Our parents and older generations really screwed us over. No guidance at all about what makes life meaningful or how to have loving relationships. Best thing I can think of is to start trying to find a woman who shares your values and is a good personality match like its your job. Utilize friends, family, matchmakers, online services, whatever is avialbe. People might laugh, but it’s really actually retarded to not treat finding a spouse with the upmost serio…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/19 04:41 PM
1

Bein a good husband a father is a simple and as difficult as being the very best version of yourself that you can be. The goals and ultimate ambitions are still yours only, but the happiness and success of the family is an excellent motivation and judge of how well you are doing. But it all comes from inside you in the end.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/19 04:29 PM
2

Great answer.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/19 04:27 PM
1

I think this works is the women is an actual embodiment of all of a man’s higher ideals. The problem is that usually men fall in love with a woman based on what he wishes she was, and not who she actually is. If a man loves a woman because who she really is is so wonderful, then his love her her is a reflection of his greater ambitions, and therefore anything he achieved in her name would also be for himself and his own inner goals as well. She then becomes the muse which brings them to life and…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/19 04:25 PM
1

I understand. I didn’t choose the gender before they were born, and I was ok with either gender before I even got pregnant. I understand men have it hard and it will get harder. But just having children is an extreme act of faith... even if they have a perfectly easy life, you know that this sweet little beautiful baby will have to face death, and you won’t be there to help them or make them feel less alone. Life is for the brave. I 100% believe I’m making he world a better place by bringing my …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/19 04:19 PM
2

I agree. Women hate it because they have to mother very needy children, and mothering a grown man is a terrifying thing. Signals all sorts of danger. HOWEVER, if a woman wants to throw traditional gender roles to the wayside and be he breadwinner, and the man chooses to be the caregiver, then she should also suppress those biological impulses and recognize that there is no longer any reason to be afraid of a man who needs emotional support. But if she stays home with the kids and relies on her h…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/19 04:09 PM
2

I’m not sure trust the terms in which emotional support was described by OP was sufficiently clear. Why are women allowing themselves to be so selfless that they are winding up in a hospital? Why doesn’t the man see a reason to go see a woman in a hospital? Sounds like a bad relationship with generally unaware people all around. Women have to have boundaries because an innate drive to do things for others can verge on becoming a bitter martyr, and men have emotions, of course, but don’t typicall…
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/19 03:57 PM
2

Someone’s gotta be brave enough to act like the future of humanity is worth investing in.
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/19 03:10 PM
2

Maybe. I don’t know that calling me an alcolyte is useful. Were my points wrong? Is there any benefit for a man to be committed and monogamous apart from the feeling of love and happiness he gets from one woman? And if a man truly loves a woman, does that woman have any reason to restrict or deny him his freedom? If he loves her then her interests and welfare are a priority for him and he will naturally want to make her happy. But it’s a relationship of free will and not one of coercion, force, …
/r/PurplePillDebate30/06/19 02:57 PM
6

@throwaway_dadvice I’ve thought this too. I have two small sons and get scared of heir prospects for a happy marriage when they’re older. I think it’s the woman’s responsibility to shoulder the relationship. Any work that needs to be done in that department is her lot. I think women used to be taught how to be loving towards men and how to make a man genuinely feel that life was better with her in it, regardless of her age or beauty, but that is a totally lost art. I never thought of myself as a…
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/19 07:57 PM
1

You can. Judge her emotional stability, her values (conservative, morals are absolute vs situational), and ensure that the bun is out in the oven in the absolute most stable, loving environment possible. True trust and love between the two baby-making partners, and proven good character, is the best garuntee of no abortion.
/r/PurplePillDebate29/06/19 07:38 PM
1

Honestly, this affection is something your mother should have given you. I believe that the feeling of true abundance comes from a deep bond with the primary caregiver (usually the mother) in early childhood. If a mom is head-over-heals in love with her son, she gives him a shield of emotional invincibility that he carries his entire life, and it helps him with women, with his career, with everything. Sadly, most moms pump out this very important job of raising their children to daycares, and th…
/r/askTRP29/06/19 11:28 AM
1

I believe I am pretty cynical too. It is difficult to look around and see actual love and admiration between the two genders. It seems as though the majority of both are just taking as much as they can from the other before things get too bad and they have to move on to someone else who they can take from. I really really need to see some healthy, virtue-based relationships again. I’m feeling so jaded and bitter. And i think it’s awful over here, because it seems like half of the population is p…
/r/RedPillWomen29/06/19 10:06 AM
1

Hahah! Well, I actually want him to be open with me. I guess this is just something we’ll have to reconcile, but honest confession, it is really hard.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/19 10:16 PM
1

lllol?
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/19 09:56 PM
1

Well, I think I tend to swing on the anxious side. I try to temper most of my reactions with that knowledge. I’m also 100% against divorce. He would probably have to murder someone for me to leave him. This is more my internal struggle I’m trying to work out. I’m tired of being insecure but still have a nagging feeling inside that I haven’t resolved. I don’t think I would care if he just saw another woman and said she was attractive. It’s more like he says explicitly gross stuff about all the wa…
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/19 09:12 PM
1

He just destroyed the marriage? How did he destroy the marriage? Wouldn’t it be on me to decide how I will react, since he has only expressed wishes and not acted on them? Yes, those are along the lines of what he told me. He said he would 100% be down for a threesome if he thought I wouldn’t get jealous.
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/19 09:03 PM
1

Question for you - this is an issue I have struggle with with my own husband. Faithful to me, loves me, but tell someone me he is still sexually attracted to other women. Makes me want to throw up and leave him when he tells me that, tbh. 3 kids and several years and I love him, but it’s just a searing pain to know this and makes me terrified for our whole future. I don’t even like going out on dates with him any more because I know his eyes and thoughts will be on whatever cute girl is nearby. …
/r/PurplePillDebate28/06/19 08:16 PM
1

No, he's wonderful in a billion different ways. There's a reason I fell in love with him, and to give him credit, he hasn't ever even flirted with another woman in front of me. He speaks in a very unfiltered way about his inner thoughts about other women, though, and that's what I struggle with.
/r/RedPillWives10/06/19 05:46 PM
3

Wow, your story is so similar to mine! How hilarious about suggesting your husband speak with his spiritual adviser! And I'm really surprised that more atheists aren't anti-porn. I became an atheist because it was logical. Being anti-porn is also logical. Morals and ethics and sexual conservatism are logical. Churches and the amazing social support and encouragement found in them are logical. My husband was a big porn consumer when we first got married, and after several years of me tolerating i…
/r/RedPillWives08/06/19 01:32 AM
2

The only times I've ever even *considered* the beginning of a thought about another man has been at our very weakest moments, and then it was only because I was trying to stop being depressed and act cheerful around my husband, and I wanted to try to get myself to experience what it felt like to feel happy in a relationship. At the time, things were so bad with my husband that I literally could not imagine him being loving toward me, and I briefly wondered if another type of man might love me. I…
/r/RedPillWives08/06/19 01:21 AM
3

That's really interesting about him trying to get a rise out of me... That is very interesting. Do you mind me asking, why did your boyfriend make comments like those, if they were based out of insecurity? I don't quite follow how his insecurity would prompt him to make those types of comments. You sounded very smart to react they way you did. I think this is how I should have reacted, in a perfect world, but these things first came up during pregnancy, and I absolutely did not feel calm and rat…
/r/RedPillWives08/06/19 01:08 AM
2

Thank you. I do wish to preserve my marriage, and wish to see it bloom into true, hard-won soul-mate love. I don't think he is a bad person - that was the thing I really had to ask myself when I was at my most unhappy. Do I believe he is bad, in his heart of hearts, or is he simply behaving badly? The FW route has been wonderful, both for me and for my husband (although he is not informed about FW). I do believe that this is the best and only way to making things better. It just feels good to kn…
/r/RedPillWives08/06/19 12:47 AM
3

That is the comfort I have. It feel like second-rate comfort, but it's what I have to hold on to, so hold on to it I will. He tells me that I am his Queen, his Melania Trump, the perfect girl for him - but it's like the other night. He and I were being intimate (TMI, please forgive) and he told me I was the prettiest girl he'd ever seen, he was seriously blown away by me, and I fit him so perfectly, and (this is the part that killed it) that even if he liked other girls I was still his favorite.…
/r/RedPillWives07/06/19 04:21 PM
2

You are so helpful. I do think this is the best strategy for me. I'll go try to find the book at the library today. Just to vent (because this is such practical advice and I'm most likely going to use this) - my regret with this is that this is just another biology-hacking strategy. I can use feminie wiles all day long, and do and enjoy using them, but my deeper self really just mourns the stark difference in values and integrity. I guess that is just something that I need to figure out how to g…
/r/RedPillWives07/06/19 03:57 PM
4

Thank you so much. That does a lot to make me feel less insane and out of touch with what my own intuition was telling me. I'm an atheist, but most of my core beliefs are more closely aligned with conservative Christian beliefs. I honestly don't think I would feel the slightest bit upset if all he was doing was simply acknowledging that another woman was beautiful or attractive - I realize he's not blind, like you said. But that is very different than wanting to experience another woman. I also …
/r/RedPillWives07/06/19 03:53 PM
6

Such a balanced and helpful response. Thank you. I wonder if the comments he made were more of him just trying to illustrate the lengths of how willing he is to sacrifice for me and being in the family. He didn't seem to be angry when he said it, but threesomes have come up before and at one point I felt so low that I almost agreed to it, and I was shocked at how grateful and appreciative he seemed that I would even consider that for him. I do think that his GoT comments are more like you said -…
/r/RedPillWives07/06/19 12:53 PM
4

You're describing general compassion and empathy that should be in a loving man-woman relationship. This is not too much to ask. You should only ever settle down with someone who cares about your troubles and someone who you can open up to and share your vulnerabilities with. ​ That being said, there is a difference between a man being transparent about this feelings, and a man looking to the woman to fix his feelings for him. Women don't want to mother a man because women have to mother childre…
/r/RedPillWives24/05/19 07:19 PM
1

Youch. Rough. I try to sympathize with guys who don't find their wive attractive during pregnancy since I know that men are so visual, but my husband felt that way about me during both pregnancies, and it feels like such a betrayal. It's one of the main reasons why I don't want a third. I took a hit for the team by sacrificing my body to him and our future, and he then is repulsed by the results of that sacrifice? And he tells me that he can't desire me because my stomach isn't flat, like a non-…
/r/askMRP09/02/19 03:55 PM
1

Ooooh man. ​ Pregnancy changes everything about the way a woman's body and emotions respond to sex. I literally couldn't physically orgasm during my pregnancies from 4 months - 6 months post partum. I believe the hormones made those pelvic floor muscles too loose (everything loosens up to allow the body to split open to let the baby out). Also, I wasn't able to get wet until I stopped breastfeeding my last son. Not that I didn't feel desire, but I just couldn't get wet. It's a hormonal thing. Sh…
/r/askMRP09/02/19 03:42 PM
3

I track my menstrual cycle, and I have realized that I test the heck out of my husband during ovulation. I have felt so difficult, combative, and high-spirited this week, and I've noticed that I want him to respond positively, with amusement and skill. It's like I'm secretly rooting for him to be the winner, but I have to throw every obstacle in his way to see if he can win when things aren't so easy. It's not a valid win if I play sweet, submissive, quiet wife. Anyone can be the winner when the…
/r/askMRP09/02/19 03:24 PM
2

6 weeks isn't a very long time in the grande scheme of "I Do." Honestly, I've had miserable years but have stuck it out - and it has actually become a happy marriage again, and I thank god that I shut my ears to everyone telling me to leave and I put my nose down and tried to learn how to fix myself, and clean up my portion of the relationship. I'm sorry for the fact that your wife is considering breaking her vows over a lack of desire for a measly 6 weeks. The proper thing for her to do would b…
/r/askMRP09/02/19 03:04 PM
1

I meant hook ups with random hot women. Is that not meaningless? Maybe it's not meaningless because it's a way to get validation and a dopamine rush. ​ Do you feel like sex has meaning, outside of a loving, committed relationship? If so, what's the value? If not, then why do we care about sex? Does sex have meaning to you, besides just a psychical release and the ego-boost of knowing that you scored? I think some men value sex for reasons other than just making themselves more macho, but it seem…
/r/askMRP08/01/19 07:18 PM
1

Jesus. . . Your son told his mother that she was broken and he needed a new one because she was too tired to play? ​ That's pretty cold and disrespectful. . . What if your wife thought it was funny to tell your son that the family needed a richer, better dad whenever you didn't provide or had any shortcomings? So much coldness inside of families.
/r/askMRP08/01/19 06:56 PM
2

That sounds like the loving and honorable thing to do - to marry her because you freely want to give her that gift, and not because she's threatening you with ultimatums or emotional manipulation if you don't comply with her wishes. If you truly desire to marry her, I can't imagine why you shouldn't, unless you secretly believe that she is the type of person who is not good to marry. But all of this depends on you, and your ability to wisely discern the integrity of another person's character. ​…
/r/askMRP08/01/19 06:52 PM
3

I totally agree. Women were never given responsibility, women naturally avoided responsibility, and women and men both were complicit in keeping women immature in many ways. I think the real question is what we should do in the future - should we, as a culture continue to treat women as if they’re incapable of agency and moral responsibility? It’s a real question. Maybe (this is a serious posit) women are truly incapable of the same type of moral agency hat men are due to some very ingrained bio…
/r/PurplePillDebate08/01/19 02:42 AM
8

I think women are less objective than men, and for the most par unaware of certain rules of psychology and biology. Wtihout self-awareness, women are essentially just going to be AWALT in whatever flavor of dysfunction they were raised in. The only way for women to take responsibility is to learn more about Red Pill laws and about human development and morality. ​ They will also take responsibility when they no longer have the option of being irresponsible.
/r/PurplePillDebate04/01/19 06:53 PM
2

I get that sex is part of a relationship. But a guy who gets a relationship via sex is like a girl who gets a relationship via the guy's bank account. If a girl asked for full access to a man's back account on the first date, what would you think, as a man? If you went along with it, you would probably feel pretty resentful as time went by. You might even start withholding financial "treats" like shopping sprees and fancy dinners and spa time or whatever. Also, what would you think about your gi…
/r/askMRP04/01/19 06:17 PM
1

Lol no worries about posting 8 days later. I have very little free time for the internet, and I can only get on here in random spurts every few weeks or so. Maybe I really am being just to lofty and holding up an unattainable ideal of principled behaviour. Maybe we really can't overcome the animal urges. I don't really know. I can see, though, that abstinence until marriage would knock out a tons of social and political problems, but like you said, that may be there is no way to do this except f…
/r/askMRP04/01/19 06:13 PM
2

I'm not sure I understand the sarcasm. The OP hasn't actually married the woman, although he's considering taking actions which will have them living in a near-married state. It's a weird area to be in, and living like that can send some conflicting messages. I was trying to help him figure out if the woman is someone who he can trust or not. It must be exhausting for him to live in such close quarters with a woman who he has to emotionally and legally hold at arm's length. Why not figure out if…
/r/askMRP04/01/19 05:58 PM
2

Also, I didn't answer you question properly. You asked for a definable stat about the benefits of marriage for a man. I will do the google and get back to you. More personal opinion, though, if a man can't find a good woman, it's not worth it. But if he does have a good woman, then it can take him from a good guy to a king. But yes, it's risky in term of money and freedom for a man if he chooses the wrong woman, and he loses out on meaningless sex. It all hangs on the character of the woman.
/r/askMRP03/01/19 07:52 PM
5

Oh yeah, I'm a woman. Sorry if I misrepresented myself. The benefits of a man being married depend on what the man wants out of a relationship. I would say, if a man desires a loving, loyal, ride-or-die relationship with a woman who devotes her whole heart to supporting him and his ambitions, then I would say you need a full commitment. If you ever ever wanted real intimacy with a woman, then the only way to get it is with full commitment. It's just a mtter of what you desire and how far you're …
/r/askMRP03/01/19 07:48 PM
1

She sounds seriously verbally abusive. ​ I would say that you have to decide if you want to stay together or if you want to split. If you want to split, then you now what to do. ​ If you decide you want to stay together for the sake of your son, then there are actually things you can do to help the situation. Most verbally abusive people don't actually realize how nasty they're being. They're typically frustrated and feel out of control and insecure, and they get nastier the less they feel heard…
/r/askMRP03/01/19 07:26 PM
1

It's normal to not want to hurt someone that you care about, but maybe you should figure out why you did it in the first place. You were drunk, but you still wanted to do it, so what did you get out of it? Do you want to fuck other girls? If so, at what cost? Are you willing to let your girlfriend suffer pain so you can have sex with other women, or would you rather her feel safe and you pass up those opportunities? I really can't say if one is right or wrong. You have no kids, so no serious obl…
/r/askMRP03/01/19 07:15 PM
2

I'm not for or against her. I'm just highlighting what the average woman would feel. But if her happiness isn't part of your own happiness, why are you with her? Wouldn't you be happier if you found someone who you could love so unreservedly that her happiness directly affected your own happiness? If you don't care about what humiliates this woman, why do you want her in your life? How does she compliment you, if her feelings about the relationship are not overwhelmingly positive? Do you want to…
/r/askMRP03/01/19 06:57 PM
1

Seems like the best way to find a good match, tbh. Screen objectively before you get emotionally or physically involved. It would help keep your head clear and to find someone who would actually bring value to your life. ​ Also, looks fade, for everyone. I would say that at the end of that day, a 5 who is a lovely person would bring more happiness to your life than a 8-10 who wrecks it. Character is wayyyy more attractive over the long term than a pretty face or hot body.
/r/askMRP03/01/19 06:21 PM
3

Yes, they're in Mommy Mode, but that's exactly why they appreciate having male attention. Early mommy years are a huge change from everything you've known in your life up until then, and practically everyone ceases to see you as a human and only as a living diaper changing machine. It's nice to be recognized as a human with more than the "mommy dimension." Add this onto any struggles she might be having with her husband - many men have a hard time finding their wives as attractive as a mommy as …
/r/askMRP03/01/19 06:07 PM
3

I understand your hesitation, but that stats are pretty clear about the poor outcome of cohabitation. Think of it this way - it's like telling a person that they're good enough for you to pretend to commit to, but only as long as you have an out and they're willing to be discarded when things are inconvenient. Not very flattering, and not a good recipe for building mutual love and admiration. ​ As scared as you are of getting into a bad relationship, she's probably just as scared as losing anoth…
/r/askMRP03/01/19 05:55 PM
2

I can actually tell by my face when I'm ovulating. My skin is much more plump and dewy looking, and my lips are constantly full and a deep red color. I track my cycle, and my appearance is always spot-on with the hormonal changes in my cycle. ​ Probably no one would notice the extent that I notice these changes, but I can certainly say that I get a lot of male attention when I'm ovulating. I would say that red lipstick is just a hyper-exaggeration of these natural changes.
/r/PurplePillDebate25/12/18 09:32 PM
2

I think you behaved admirably by controlling your attraction to the older man and not acting on it. I do think that having "crushes" on someone else is a sign to stop, take stock of your relationship, and do some serious evaluation. You also need to decide what your level of commitment is to your boyfriend. Gauging commitment level is one reason why I think living together pre-marriage or engagement is a very bad idea. When you live together, you are in a sort of mini-marriage, except not. Meani…
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/18 06:05 PM
3

I thought the Surrendered Wife was very good, but I have read them both and I think Fascinating Womanhood had a lot more to offer. Fascinating Womanhood deals a lot more with the roles of homemaker and mother, whereas Surrendered Wife focused more on the woman being responsible for her own joy, actions, and how to influence the relationship for the positive by giving up control. ​ Surrendered Wife was very good and informative, but I thought that, overall, Fascinating Womanhood is a more complet…
/r/RedPillWomen07/12/18 05:52 PM
2

Definitely love this. I have read and re-read Fascinating Womanhood. At the moment, it's a bit like my Bible.
/r/RedPillWomen07/12/18 05:48 PM
1

I feel you. I had this same problem. Recently I just decided to dress as attractively as I felt like, since my reality is that I am a stay at home mom and will likely not have a "reason" to look good other than my own pleasure and my husband's. I have been doing my hair, light makeup, and cute clothes and my husband seems to really appreciate it! I really had no idea that he cared or would notice. It does, in fact, matter how you present yourself.
/r/RedPillWives06/12/18 07:41 PM
3

I think a lot of girls like this have either a terrible relationship with their father or no relationship at all. Girls don’t do that to themselves when they are well-adjusted and feel secure in a loving male relationship. Single motherhood us really destroyed everybody.
/r/TheRedPill06/12/18 07:24 PM
1

I do think that women are more prone to try to allow others to shoulder their morality and will; however, I don’t think that this is healthy for women, and women are very much capable of exerting full agency and choice. But it does still stand that men and women do have different natures, and I do think that women greatly benefit from having a loving relationship with a man - a man’s point of view provides a lot of reality and safety that women often lack, and it’s a relief for a woman to be all…
/r/askMRP14/11/18 03:30 AM
1

I don’t think you’re wrong about a woman wanting to choose the right man to make the right choices, but I don’t think it’s ideally so that she can absolve herself of moral responsibility or agency. I think it’s more like a division of labor - she chooses a man to make wise decisions about how to navigate the external world so that she is free to focus on raising a family, which requires lots of choices, reflection, and moral integrity. I have an issue with the authority thing. I do believe a man…
/r/askMRP14/11/18 03:21 AM
1

I think it’s a chemical reaction that bonds a woman to a man in an intense way so that she desires to remain with the man who possibly impregnated her. That’s fine and can be really good, if she bonds with a man who she would approve of and agree with in a more “sober” state of mind. The problem with sex before commitment is that intense bonds are formed when there is very little emotional trust or true alignment of values or goals. A chemical bond without a solid foundation is a recipe for an u…
/r/askMRP14/11/18 03:05 AM
2

That sounds miserable.
/r/askMRP13/11/18 09:30 PM
1

Yes. 4 years married with two smalls sons.
/r/askMRP13/11/18 09:30 PM
1

I'm sorry about your marriage... I think this is a situation where the woman has more responsibility to bring back the good feelings and make the relationship worthwhile again. Would you accept it if you handed her a few books? I just read a book called Fascinating Womanhood, digested its contents and put it into practice, and there has been a huge improvement in my relationship and I can tell my husband is much more excited and willing to be with me. I do think the ball is in her court, and she…
/r/askMRP13/11/18 09:11 PM
2

Also, I'm just saying that removing agency from a woman is still another form of white-knighting. A strong, super red-pilled alpha can love a woman deeply, be a great leader, and still give her full accountability for her choices. He doesn't have to remove all moral responsibility from her in order to be a good leader or to be the rightful head of a family.
/r/askMRP13/11/18 09:01 PM
1

Also, I'm not the one who is uninterested in sex.
/r/askMRP13/11/18 08:56 PM
1

But that's the thing - it's all wrong because just trying to fuck a girl means that you're trying to take value from her. It's would be like a girl saying, "hey, just get access to a man's bank account without giving anything in return, then tell me how he feels a few years down the road." He would probably be filled with resentment and disgust.
/r/askMRP13/11/18 08:56 PM
1

I think what you're saying is right, except for the fact that a man being a good leader to his woman does not mean that he is in control of her own moral integrity. Part of a woman's exertion of integrity is choosing a man who she feels confident can make all the choices she would approve of. No one can be responsible for someone else's moral being or the truth of their soul. That is for each individual to decide and choose for themselves. A man is supposed to lead, and women really desire and n…
/r/askMRP13/11/18 08:54 PM
1

I'm really sorry about your wife... I get why you're so angry, but I'm not being absurd or unrealistic, and people have lived chaste for plenty of generations. It's not wrong to want high standards nor to work for high standards.
/r/askMRP13/11/18 08:50 PM
1

I think sex before marriage plays into our situation now.
/r/askMRP13/11/18 08:48 PM
1

Really it’s quite awful to strip agency from women so completely. Women really do tend to be more emotionally reactive and less logical, but by saying they are not agents of their own will, you are basically saying they can do no wrong because right, wrong, and choice are not within the realm of femininity. This makes women into children - less than children, since we except children to learn and make choices. This means a woman can do nothing wrong, since nothing is her choice. It’s a crippling…
/r/askMRP13/11/18 01:48 AM
0

Not sure this is true, because it seems like the whole modern premise of sex, dating, and marriage is skewed and is a set up for failure in the long run. Personally I think a woman harbors distrust and resentment of a man if she has sex with him before a solid, loving, committed relationship is formed. I think she feels cheapened for herself and sees the man as lacking integrity. Those are not good things to build a relationship on. My theory is that, after X amount of time, the woman resents ha…
/r/askMRP13/11/18 01:39 AM
1

The sad thing is that I could almost guarantee that the kids are misbehaving because the mom is emotionally spastic and looking for someone to blame. Women really do “hamster,” but that’s no excuse to be a bad mom. We all need some self awareness of what our default instincts are, so that we can override them with a reasonable action when the situation warrants it.
/r/askMRP13/11/18 01:21 AM
2

Yup. ​ When they parents yell, it's usually just because the parent is no longer able to control his/her emotions and wants to put them off into the kid - ie they want to make the kid feel the same anger, frustration, ______ - whatever the emotion is - that the parent feels, because if the kid feels it and then acts it out, the parent can punish the child for displaying what the parent considers to be bad. It's a really vicious thing.
/r/askMRP06/11/18 05:54 PM
3

This is probably true, but it's not healthy and definitely not good for the kids. Just be cause the wife identifies bullying small children and yelling as assertion doesn't mean that it's what should happen.
/r/askMRP06/11/18 05:45 PM
1

Sounds like she is repeating her own childhood experiences and does not understand that children are people, too, and don't automatically need to be punished for every little things. People that act like that were usually punished, themselves, for the silliest things. Sound like she interprets domination, force, and bullying as being a leader. ​ Not sure what all you can actually do except for fold, and start yelling at your children to appease her, or take control of the situation and hold fast…
/r/askMRP06/11/18 05:44 PM
3

I don't think for a minute that you're here to gripe about your parents. I do, however, think that parents have an extremely important role in how well their children are adjusted to handle life in a healthy way. Your parents may have inflicted some wounds on you without having malicious intent. Doesn't automatically mean they're awful people at all. Just means childhood experiences have life-long ramifications and examining the roots of certain beliefs and behaviors can be liberating.
/r/TheRedPill06/11/18 05:35 PM
1

You know... I don't know how you have reconciled with your parents. I read Fascinating Womanhood (several times, actually, at this point) and it says to be fully serene we have to forgive everyone who has wronged us. I don't disagree with that in theory, but in practice... I am so angry at my family. Deeply, deeply angry, and I don't want to forgive them. I don't want to speak to them and I have no respect for my mother or my father. They both broke their solemn vows to God and to each other (an…
/r/RedPillWomen03/11/18 07:04 PM
2

It sounds really hokey, but the "mother-wound" is a very real thing, and I think moms can either boister their sons up to be invincible with the pure, selfless and unconditional love we all dream about, or they can smother or crush their sons to feed their own egos. Journaling is such a powerful thing - it takes a lot of inner work but it can be a huge relief to see patterns and understand things about yourself and your past, and it's very empowering to realize that you can change yourself once …
/r/TheRedPill03/11/18 06:44 PM
2

Oh, well, if that's the case then no, it's not heroic. It's just Machiavellian and hypocritical and lacks integrity and is nothing more than opportunity-seeking monkey behavior.
/r/TheRedPill03/11/18 06:40 PM
2

That will never happen. Government schools abhor masculinity (in men, that is), because as all invaders know, get rid of the men and you can control the female population. This is way better for governments who want to use men as tax livestock and use the women as a social marionette puppet. Governments are anti-man because governments have no one to control and gain power from if men are the proper protectors and lords of their own families.
/r/TheRedPill03/11/18 06:39 PM
1

I think this is fascinating... It seems like high value men decided it was good for everybody is they, the high-value men who could have everything, sacrificed. It's really heroic, in a way. It could just be born out of pragmatism, but I don't see how that makes it less noble. The high-value men must have been very committed to creating a better world, and must have had lots of foresight, self-control, and passion for creating a stable and productive society. It's really impressive and admirable…
/r/TheRedPill01/11/18 07:15 PM
1

Maybe it could be worth it to dig into your past... Maybe examine your relationship with your mother? I really believe that has a lot to do with a man's self esteem, and if you have everything else going for you externally, then it sounds like an emotional hangup, and those tend to be from early childhood and from family of origin.
/r/TheRedPill01/11/18 07:10 PM
7

This is all so true. But the thing is, ALL of us have been lied to. Women pump up on a dangerous high when they are young (this is possible because most of them have huge issues due to no father or, at best, a bad relationship with a father figure) which leads to complete misery and dysfunction for the rest of their lives after the ages of 25-30. A majority of young women actually believe that being promiscuous is a sign of how awesome and adventurous they are, and is a tribute to their desirabi…
/r/TheRedPill01/11/18 07:02 PM
3

So I bought and read Fascinating Womanhood. So much to think about. And your comments have been SO helpful. Thank you thank you thank you. ​ I pretty much have done everything wrong according to the book, and after reading it and looking at our situation, I believe it, and I really feel very humbled and vulnerable to admit it. And I was thinking about taking the book's advice and telling him how much I admired him, how I am glad he is the person he is and that he stood up to me and didn't let me…
/r/RedPillWomen11/10/18 01:44 AM
1

Your comments seems to hit the nail right on the head as far as wanting him to tap into my consciousness, intimacy, male biology and whether or not his desire for random sex deminishes his love for me. All of this has really been a battle of me revisiting beliefs held since childhood and figuring out what it really means to me to be vulnerable and intimate and to love. And I respond in fear when I sense his attraction to other women because a) I can’t imagine wanting to experience another man at…
/r/RedPillWomen08/10/18 04:32 PM
1

I wanted to thank everyone on here for the advice and comments. Just being able to talk about it (even if just via Internet) was a HUGE relief in itself. I think there’s a lot for me to consider and think about, but the support really did help. Thank you RPW!
/r/RedPillWomen08/10/18 04:13 PM
1

Which book should I get? The original or the updated edition?
/r/RedPillWomen07/10/18 04:15 AM
1

I have wanted to go to therapy! I really think about it witch such a positive and longing attitude. I have not gone because of price and childcare - I have no one to watch my kids while I go. I did go to one session several months after my first son was born and he came with me, and it was not productive and I could not speak like I needed to while I had to watch him as well.
/r/RedPillWomen07/10/18 04:13 AM
2

I think this is true. ​ No, I really don't care about my pride in the face of this relationship. I would much rather feel close to him and be safe in his love than have some sort of weird pride in being "right."
/r/RedPillWomen07/10/18 04:09 AM
1

Truth. If duty plays in I think it is mostly around children.
/r/RedPillWomen07/10/18 04:08 AM
1

I think I am doing everything out of neediness. I'm having really difficult time figuring out how to rise above that. I used to feel proud and content with myself when I was a single woman, and I think the desperation and fear of abandonment during my first pregnancy became so intense that it has been really hard to completely clear myself of it, because hardly anything I do anymore is for my own self or fulfillment. My sons are finally sleeping through the night, so I do feel more at peace sinc…
/r/RedPillWomen07/10/18 04:05 AM
2

Also - can you elaborate on the Madonna/whore thing and porn issue? I think the plays a part in my story, too, and I'm trying to unravel it.
/r/RedPillWomen07/10/18 04:00 AM
1

I think it's possible that a small part of the problem is that there's no more chase. He really loves the chase, and I have never told him no or denied him sex or a sexual service, so I think he's not getting the high of chasing and winning sex any more. ​ He also used to be a heavy porn user. I tried even watching it with him at times, but it really just felt like he was mentally having sex with the girls in the video and I was just the body he was masturbating with, so I told him I I felt bad …
/r/RedPillWomen07/10/18 03:57 AM
2

I think you're really right. Thanks!
/r/RedPillWomen07/10/18 03:53 AM
1

I will try! Although... Is it just me? I really have a hard time feeling "right" when I'm too over about sex. The only reason I explicit tell him I want sex is because he told me to just be frank and let him know when I was in the mood, BUT I really feel way too aggressive and not very genuine when I'm being overt or too aggressively sexual. I like sex, don't get me wrong, but I've never felt like I'm the forward girl and it's quite a buzzkill for me.
/r/RedPillWomen07/10/18 03:53 AM
1

Yikes. I have tried speaking to him about it and it really just seems to make things more distant and awkward. Definitely doesn't produce the intimacy like I had hoped lol. So no... I really just can't speak upfront about this.
/r/RedPillWomen07/10/18 03:48 AM
1

The problem is not simply alienation... it is demanding behaviour. Men hate demanding behaviour because it triggers the fear that their protective instinct towards women will be exploited. Another thought.... I think this is probably very relevant. We got pregnant before we were married. Sometimes I think he feels like I trapped him with my pregnancy, and I think that's how it played out, although I really did not mean to - at least, not consciously. I look back at my actions and feelings at the…
/r/RedPillWomen07/10/18 03:45 AM
1

However, both of you are still interested enough in order to try to give the other what he seems to need. So yes, I would say there clearly is hope and the solution will be easier and probably much faster than you expect it to be. Do you really believe this? I am pretty grateful to hear this. I don't speak about our issues to any family or friends because they have historically taken a me -vs him approach and end up disliking him, so it's really reassuring to be able to vent about our problems a…
/r/RedPillWomen07/10/18 03:38 AM
1

I think a lot of this is accurate. As to responding in crisis mode - I feel as though I am in a crisis. Maybe I have been very selfish, and that is why there has been no change. I have very little opportunity to talk about these things with him, and honestly think that talking about it only serves as a reminder to him of unpleasant things in the past. What do I do? How do I ask him to allow me to apologize? Or how do I tell him, out of the blue, that maybe I've been selfish and I don't know how …
/r/RedPillWomen07/10/18 03:26 AM
2

Oh my gosh. We had a situation not too dissimilar to yours in some ways! I had given birth to our second son two months prior, and he had gone out to a neighborhood bar alone to drink and people watch. When he came back, like around 2 a m, he got into bed and told me how much he missed having sex with random girls. That hurt me so badly. I really just can't describe how deep that cut, and I snapped. I told him that if he needed random sex so badly then maybe he should just have it. Maybe he shou…
/r/RedPillWomen07/10/18 03:12 AM
2

I think this is golden advice. I have had this small voice inside of me saying that I needed to back off and just quit all requests or bids for attention - not our of spite or because I want to be closed off - so that he can come to me in his own time. I have wondered if he did not feel pushed into the family role sooner than he was ready for. He definitely tried to knock me up, but I have really speculated that it was all just as overwhelming for him as it was for me, and his dead desire could …
/r/RedPillWomen07/10/18 02:54 AM
2

I don't know if my husband is horny at all any more, tbh. I'm quite jealous of the intimacy between you and your husband, as much as I'm embarrassed to admit it. I feel so cheated out of love and intimacy at times.I wonder if he can't feel sexual towards me anymore because he actually does care about me and I'm now his wife and the mother of his children. I honestly remember his saying once that the more love he feels towards a woman the less sexual attraction he feels. I really should have paid…
/r/RedPillWomen07/10/18 02:49 AM
2

Definitely sounds like me. I've really been struggling to ID the harpy within me - so far, it seems like I retreat into criticism and nagging when I feel threatened or fearful. It's like a default defense mechanism. I think the challenge for me is figuring out how to override my fearful emotions. I don't really see any reason for me to feel anxious anymore, but it's like my body remembers it, and the fear is there, like a tension in my body and I have to figure out how to unwind that tension.
/r/RedPillWomen04/10/18 08:57 PM
1

Yikes... I don't think it's unreasonable for him to want you to be home more or to be a better housekeeper or to devote more time to the relationship, but he's basically forcing your choice with what appears to be very little consideration of you or your feelings. That sounds like a very rude, militant thing to do, in my opinion. It sounds like a threat. You're a Marriage and Family Therapist - is this healthy, loving behavior on his part?
/r/RedPillWives17/07/18 07:33 PM
5

I totally agree that the insecurity comes from being a SAHM. I'm exactly right where you are. I've had two babies back to back, and it leaves you exhausted, both physically and mentally. The person you used to be in no where in sight, and even when you remember to think about the things you used to do that made you special and beautiful, you are way too exhausted to do anything about it. I seriously get it. And then, your husband is off at work, seeing women who are dressed nicely, who move abou…
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/18 07:08 PM
6

HAHAHAHAAHAHHAAH Oh my gosh. This is too hilarious. Mostly because I think every woman has at least flirted with this rabbit hole...
/r/RedPillWomen15/05/18 06:52 PM
1

It really doesn't do the girl any favors for the man to not have abundance mentality. If a guy is only staying with his woman because of easy pussy, that's just not all that flattering or romantic for the girl. A girl would much rather be wanted by a man who has options than kept around by a man who ONLY wants the security of readily available sex. That's so unflattering to both people. It reduces both parties to needy, user-usee TAKERS, and most girls would probably gladly be dumped by a guy wh…
/r/TheRedPill18/11/17 10:46 PM
2

Am I the only one that is a little confused about the Alpha/Beta thing? I keep thinking that Donald Trump is hella Alpha, and he is also a fantastic provider (or at least I assume so, without actually having seen his bank statements). Isn't the appeal of Alpha qualities the instinctual, animalistic messaging that Man is able to beget healthy spawn and also protect and provide for said spawn? I mean, it makes sense that in our Caveman days, the tallest, storngest, most brawny and in-command dude …
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/17 07:08 PM
8

He may be projecting. If you're genuinely happy about things, then you genuinely have nothing to worry about. You can't be responsible for how he feels, and if you're being honest with yourself about how you feel, and then in turn being honest with him, then you literally cannot do anything else. He may be grappling with his own feelings.
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/17 06:50 PM
0

I'm so glad!!! Yeah, I've always been pretty big into fitness and clean eating, but I've found that whenever I approach anything having to do with my boy or appearance from a place of fear, control, anxiety, or disgust, that I can, indeed make some progress, but it is usually short-lived and 1,000,000 X's harder than if I had just relaxed, chosen things that made me happy and healthy and focused on the positive things about my goals instead of all the negative things I was trying to change. I'm …
/r/RedPillWomen05/11/17 12:50 AM
2

Yup. I actually dated a Sunni Muslim straight out of Egypt before I met my husband. He was Red Pill on steriods, and it was AWFUL. All the things he liked about me before were turned into liabilities and even me trying to eat healthy became about me trying to cheat. And yeah, this is an extreme example, but lots of "regular" Red Pill guys do it, too.
/r/RedPillWomen02/11/17 08:22 PM
2

Oh man. How rough. I'm so sorry! One thought - maybe he is freaking out about being a dad? Not an excuse, just trying to figure out his mindframe. Some guys do really stupid stuff when faced with a huge life change like this. Also - maybe you should get a counselor for yourself, not to "treat" you or anything, but for an objective, outside third party to help you process emotions. Pregnancy is SUCH an emotional time, and it is hard enough to be objective on something like this. I wouldn't tell f…
/r/RedPillWomen02/11/17 08:01 PM
1

Have you tried a good B-Complex supplement? I took a lot of B-complex and Grape Seed Extract and my skin GLOWED. Like, it was luminous, and smooth, and dewey and absolutely gorgeous. The supplements helped way more than any topical lotion or cream I had ever used.
/r/RedPillWomen02/11/17 07:54 PM
3

"or a face that looks like melted butter." LOL This is hilarious. Thank you! It really gave me a HUGE, literal lol.
/r/RedPillWomen02/11/17 07:46 PM
1

Aww girl, this sounds so tough!!! I had some really good friends who went through the exact same thing — the wives were losing their minds due to loneliness, and their husbands were struggling to understand how their wives could be unhappy bc they were working hard to fulfill something for oth of them. The only way I saw that the couples made it through were that the wives developed strong friendships with other women, and were careful to make friendships with other wives in the same boat. It is…
/r/RedPillWomen02/11/17 07:17 PM
2

Everything begins and ends with how worthy you feel of properly nurturing yourself. Treat yourself with honest, realistic compassion (note: this is not a license to be slovenly or pitiful) and then being making choices that are based on self-love, care, and generosity of spirit. You absolutely CAN lose weight just by diet alone! But in my experience, if diet and exercise are a terrible, tyrannical regimen through which you punish yourself for being fat or unlovable, then the gains and progress y…
/r/RedPillWomen02/11/17 06:17 PM
1

I like this - cute, clean, and functional. Personally I don't think my husband cares what clothes I have on as long as my body looks good underneath.
/r/RedPillWives05/10/17 03:04 AM
4

I love your post! TRP was extremely hard for me to swallow as well - when I had my first pregnancy, the reality of it hit me VERY hard. I was 26, and changed seemingly overnight from a super-hot, super-sought-out girl to this THING that almost no one noticed and the only topics people spoke with me about included babies. Throw this in with the hubby and I still hanging out with a young, single 20-something crowd (aka 23 year old girls constantly showing TNA), and MEGA insecurities abounded. Yeah…
/r/RedPillWomen04/10/17 06:34 PM
1

Yeah I really do think we messed up big time when we started taking sides in society. Man vs. Woman is not a good idea. The genders start to actively destroy one another with that attitude. It's been quite a life-lesson to me to see, especially after my second son was born, that I am completely incapable of feeling free, happy, and comfortable without my husband there actively being my rock. Everything the Red Pill says is true, but it's like everyone on here has forgotten that there is an extre…
/r/TheRedPill02/10/17 04:41 PM
3

Women also get way more bitter without a stable, loving, strong man to pour themselves into. A women will basically turn into a machine, which is pretty much the death of a feminine heart. Women give their souls when they have sex, and the more casual sex a woman has the more broken her soul gets. Feminism has NOT done women any favors.
/r/TheRedPill13/09/17 06:09 PM
1

This is very true - the fact is that women are being embittered and told to be calloused and to energetically ruin themselves, and so many women are left wondering why their hearts either constantly ache or are just missing. Women were not built to be the vanguards of society. Men were. Women really need men to be men right now. I do think monogamy is the best solution - and I mean old-school, court-the-girl and ask her father's hand for marriage type of monogamy - for a functioning culture. Men…
/r/TheRedPill13/09/17 06:02 PM
1

Thanks for the answer. It's nice getting a guy's perspective on something like this.
/r/RedPillWomen10/09/17 04:35 PM
2

I think that there are Alphas who exist who also have moral standards and have their heads screwed on correctly. It sounds like the common denominator in all of this is you. I used to do this, too, and finally realized that I was scared to death of being known and feeling vulnerable. I was picking guys who I somehow knew it would never last with, which gave me the temporary satisfaction of a "relationship," but I never had to really open up and put myself out there, even though I often found mys…
/r/RedPillWomen09/09/17 05:46 PM
1

Yeah, I'd tell him. Maybe you really are a different woman now, but you gotta be honest about yourself. If you're afraid of it, and keeping it close to your chest out of fear, then that's probably a big sign that it's something you really need to disclose.
/r/RedPillWomen09/09/17 05:28 PM
1

I'm sorry that your relationship failed. That is a heavy thing to deal with. It's very interesting that you say the other female partners highlighted relationship issues - how did all of that happen? I've been reading TRP for almost 3 years now and it's been very hard to swallow. Lots of reasons for that, but one of them is that my fantasy of the "perfect life" is basically man + woman + kiddos and lots of love, and TRP has made me painfully aware that if a man is monogamous and wants to remain …
/r/RedPillWomen09/09/17 05:15 PM
3

Wow. This is aptly timed. Me and the Hubs were just talking about this, and I have had SO many mixed emotions and thoughts about it. On one hand, with modern birth control methods, there's not really a need for him to remain sexually faithful to just me. He swears it's totally possible for him to have sex with another woman and not love her, and only love me, and with no danger of an outside pregnancy, there's nothing "logically" to prevent it. I also was extremely surprised to find myself both …
/r/RedPillWomen09/09/17 05:06 PM
1

I hope things get better for you! It's really hard to have so much tension in intimate relationships, and it takes a big toll on people. I really wish you the best of luck.
/r/askMRP12/06/17 06:31 PM
1

Took me AGES to figure out that just because a man looks at a woman it doesn't mean he is already replacing me. I had some big hang ups when I saw my husband check out other girls - I immediately felt abandoned. Sometimes the wife/gf/LTR just has her own issues about relationships and needs to know that she can trust her man to be a man, and that him being a man does not mean pain and abandonment. A lot of times it just takes accepting the differences between the genders and trusting in all the …
/r/askMRP12/06/17 05:21 PM
1

My husband often eats more than what I had planned, but eventually I figured out that he likes to comfort eat at night and that he would either order a pizza or go get some other terrible food if I didn't have anything ready for him. Do y'all have other issues? Sounds like both of you feel unappreciated, taken for granted, and stuck in a power struggle and neither is being listened to or heard.
/r/askMRP12/06/17 05:08 PM
2

Totally get this. I had heard horror stories of husbands being forgotten and ignored after a child's birth, so I made sure that once I had taken care of my son I was there taking care of him. And it was weird... he started adoring my son and paying attention to everything he was doing, and I was happy about that, I had wanted that, but... I felt like I was being totally neglected and overlooked. I didn't want to take the attention away from my son, but I mean, come on! I was busting my butt to m…
/r/RedPillWives09/06/17 07:52 PM
2

Oh I like this. It makes happiness totally dependent of the people you feel emotionally connected to, and instead they become a happy benefit to your own happiness. Thank you very much!
/r/RedPillWives01/06/17 05:31 PM
1

Thanks! Do you ever feel this way?
/r/RedPillWives01/06/17 04:38 PM
1

Thank you!! I appreciate the answer!
/r/RedPillWives15/05/17 03:56 PM
2

Thank you for the response! i will look into the book!
/r/RedPillWives15/05/17 02:56 PM
4

Yes, I lurk here and I'm a woman. This is beautiful.
/r/TheRedPill07/04/17 08:34 PM
2

Maybe this will help you understand and empathize. For me, labor was 18 hours of agony. Each contraction felt like I'd been damned to Hell, each one felt like it had no end or beginning. My whole existence was pain. No water, no food, no sleep for 2 days. I was stitched up, literally bruised and too weak to move, bleeding from lots of unmentionable places, and once I would walk, each step caused tremendous pain and took my breath away. To top this off, I had only just begun - there was no recove…
/r/askMRP23/06/16 06:04 PM
1

Holy cow. I just had baby #1 and I'm so tired all the time. Does your wife sleep?? I always wanted a lot of kids, but after months of sleep deprivation I'm re-thinking this.
/r/TheRedPill14/06/16 04:15 PM
1

Hah. "Like."
/r/RedPillWives12/06/16 09:13 PM
1

Oh I love Kira. Her character is so beautiful.
/r/RedPillWives12/06/16 09:12 PM
5

Of course! Her work defined a lot of my teen years, and I have a special spot in my heart for her.
/r/RedPillWives11/06/16 06:30 PM
4

I have this same issue: I think a lot of women struggle with handling their emotions in a way that their men can respond to and understand. It's one of the hardest things I've dealt with, but I think the key seems to be holding on to your own inner "lotus" of peace, and realizing that your man may love you as much as humanly possible, but he is a man, and will never understand what a woman feels, the way a woman feels it. I truly think that men need us to see things from their perspective, and n…
/r/RedPillWives11/06/16 11:37 AM
2

Have you heard of Rene Wade? She writes and consults on femininity and relationships. I haven't read the Surrendered Wife, but I imagine the content is fairly similar.
/r/RedPillWives11/06/16 11:25 AM
3

This is adorable.
/r/RedPillWives11/06/16 11:23 AM
7

I am re-reading The Fountainhead and was struck by how Red Pill it was. I read it a few times when I was younger, but never as an adult, and especially not with a "red pill" filter on everything. Yes, I have to agree with her. And yeah, I can remember feeling this, even as a little girl. There were usually two components to it - my own sense of rightness and happiness, and deep appreciation for the "other," the man I was with (usually my grandfather, or a few professors). I've always loved Any R…
/r/RedPillWives11/06/16 11:00 AM
1

Thanks for your response. It is good to hear other perspectives and to get out of my own head. i realize that my SMV is lowered. I knew that at the time and I know it now. I just didn't care. I really wanted a family, found the man I wanted it with, and believed him when he said it would all be ok. I was raised in a conservative Christian home; believe me, I was shocked to realize that I would even consider letting him knock me up, but I did, and I was happy to let him. I don't know what it is, …
/r/RedPillWomen08/06/16 06:42 PM
3

i realize that my SMV is lowered. I knew that at the time and I know it now. I really just wanted a family, and believed him when he said it would all be ok. I was raised in a conservative Christian home; believe me, I was shocked to realize that I would even consider letting him knock me up, but I did, and I was happy to let him. I don't know what it is, but something about him just makes things ok. I think I just answered my own question in my original post. I trusted him then, and at the end …
/r/RedPillWomen08/06/16 06:37 PM
2

Thank you. Yes, that has been my main issue. I appreciate the tip about making a list. I'll try that!
/r/RedPillWomen08/06/16 06:07 PM
2

I definitely don't want to force him. I want the offer; I want him to freely want to be tied to me. probably makes no sense, but it's what I want. A shotgun wedding or applied guilt isn't what I'm looking for.
/r/RedPillWomen08/06/16 06:05 PM
0

lol weed would be nice, but unfortunately I'm breastfeeding, so I don't want to pass on any substances to a wee 5 month old. You comments have been very helpful. I really do want to talk to him, and think that this is what I should do. Any thoughts on how to bring it up? Part of why I haven't said anything is because it never seems like a good opportunity. Any way I can think of would be seemingly out of the blue.
/r/RedPillWomen08/06/16 06:03 PM
3

Oh yes, I realize how dumb it was to allow myself to get pregnant after 4 months. You very well could crucify me. My only excuse is that I felt safe. I thought it would be ok. I was totally in love with him, swept away and from a pragmatic viewpoint knew he could take care of a family. But that's already done. I can't undo it and our son is absolutely beautiful. You are right about many things. But to be very honest, I think it's the lack of boundaries that leaves me feeling so insecure. I know …
/r/RedPillWomen08/06/16 04:37 PM
3

I agree with your comment about keeping score. I am actively trying to let go of my ideas of what a healthy, successful relationship looks like. I think a ceremony would satisfy me. I truly think I would be ok without the legal paper.
/r/RedPillWomen08/06/16 04:22 PM
1

I tell him partial truth - I AM happy with my life and our lives together, all except for this one issue. I just don't know how to broach the subject without being critical or blaming him for what he feels. I would be open to prenupts as long as they were openly discussed and the rules were clearly set in the beginning. What seems to bother me most is that he changed his opinion of marriage during our relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen08/06/16 04:07 PM
2

I guess this is still the problem I have - how is marriage so bad? He is supporting me now, and frankly in a few years we will be common-law wed. I always dreamed about a traditional family - I still remember telling him on our first date that my dream was to home school my kids and take care of a family. He seemed to love this and was as enthusiastic as me about it. I guess I can't help but think he'd only be walking on eggshells if he thinks I'm a risk.
/r/RedPillWomen08/06/16 03:52 PM
2

Thank you. I really appreciate your response. I guess my biggest problem is the fact that I don't feel like I can communicate everything I'm feeling to him, and I end up feeling like I'm keeping a part of myself hidden away from him, and that one on level I'm simply putting on a happy act. This is where I find myself feeling like it weakens our trust. I realize that I need to let go of my ideas of how our relationship "should" look. I guess I'm unsure if I should try to tell him how I'm feeling.…
/r/RedPillWomen08/06/16 03:47 PM
3

I'm really surprised that legal marriage has meant so much to be, but if I'm being at all honest about my feelings than I have to admit that I feel "unclaimed." I guess I always wanted to be chosen over all other women, and then have that celebrated publicly. The rest of our lives wouldn't change. But the declaration and public display actually does mean a lot to me.
/r/RedPillWomen08/06/16 03:47 PM
1

I tell him I am happy, and that I love my life, which is all true. I don't know how to tell him the things that bother me about being unmarried without coming across as blaming him or sounding unhappy with other aspects of my life.
/r/RedPillWomen08/06/16 03:27 PM
2

I guess I understand. Honestly I never knew how things were for men until recently.
/r/TheRedPill06/06/16 11:01 PM
6

This is totally true. I took BC throughout my entire college years. Never felt the slightest desire to hook up or even date. I studied, had friends, and generally had a good time. I had lots of guy friends who I thought I should be attracted to, but just got annoyed with them and thought they were too rowdy (aka testosterone-driven) to deal with. Decided that I was tired of taking hormones and went off of it, and almost overnight I was interested in what would become my first serious boyfriend. …
/r/TheRedPill06/06/16 06:09 PM
3

I can't help but wonder why anyone would get married or have kids if there is so much suspicion and distrust. I want safety and love out of a relationship, and I would rather stay single than live so close to and share so much of my life with a person who I'd have to constantly protect myself from. I think that would be a miserable, unfulfilled life.
/r/TheRedPill05/06/16 06:38 PM
1

I have just had a son, and plan on homeschooling him simply because of all the negative things I saw in school systems (and things that seemed especially unfair to little boys). I have worked in elementary schools for years. I wanted to be a teacher and started working there while I was getting my certificate, then realized that I could not be part of what was happening. It's been my dream for years to homeschool my own children and give them a childhood that allows for true education, where the…
/r/RedPillParenting12/02/16 02:41 PM
1

Maybe more boys learn how to be men if there are some men at the lower levels of education. The pay sucks, yes. But maybe it would help.
/r/TheRedPill07/02/16 04:17 AM
1

I have worked with children for years, both in schools and in different programs. The more time I spent in elementary schools, the more I realized that the public school system was breaking the majority of boys' spirits. No boy is going to happily stay still and on task for (at least) 8 hours a day without having excess energy. I would look at all the kids in my class, and realized that most of the discipline problems were coming from the boys - and most of them tended to be boys who were on ADD…
/r/TheRedPill07/02/16 02:33 AM
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