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orangeboobert Archive

View 30 posts and 440 comments by orangeboobert on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
892

ROAST-A-SCROTEorangeboobert/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 12:08 AM
426

LEVEL UPorangeboobert/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 04:39 PM
338

FDS RESCUE MISSIONorangeboobert/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 05:32 AM
206

#JustLVMThingsorangeboobert/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/21 02:58 PM
154

MOOD FOR LIFEorangeboobert/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 02:44 AM
142

LEVEL UPorangeboobert/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 12:53 AM
135

DISCUSSIONorangeboobert/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/03/21 01:12 PM
127

DISCUSSIONorangeboobert/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/03/21 05:04 PM
103

FDS RESCUE MISSIONorangeboobert/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 05:38 PM
86

DISCUSSIONorangeboobert/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/03/21 05:52 PM
77

LIES MEN TELLorangeboobert/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 06:04 PM
76

COCKHOLM SYNDROMEorangeboobert/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 01:24 PM
61

#HeAin'tTheOne2021orangeboobert/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 02:07 PM
55

QUEEN SH*Torangeboobert/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 11:33 PM
55

COCKHOLM SYNDROMEorangeboobert/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 03:10 PM
22

COCKHOLM SYNDROMEorangeboobert/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/06/21 10:05 PM
6

QUEEN SH*Torangeboobert/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 11:45 PM
6

SCROTES MADorangeboobert/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 02:25 AM
2

orangeboobert/r/askFDS11/11/20 07:00 AM
2

orangeboobert/r/askFDS04/04/21 10:25 AM
1

LEVEL UPorangeboobert/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/11/20 07:15 AM
1

ROAST-A-SCROTEorangeboobert/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/10/20 06:47 PM
1

LESSON LEARNEDorangeboobert/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 04:59 AM
1

How-To High Valueorangeboobert/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/01/21 05:46 AM
1

LEVEL UPorangeboobert/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/10/20 04:01 PM
1

orangeboobert/r/askFDS08/04/21 08:18 PM
1

orangeboobert/r/askFDS04/04/21 10:18 AM
1

orangeboobert/r/askFDS04/04/21 10:18 AM
1

MINDSET SHIFTorangeboobert/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/21 02:53 PM
0

orangeboobert/r/askFDS08/02/21 06:44 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
2

Yes I thought this was him. The issue is with him, he’s just not that bright in regards to self reflection so he ends up being hurtful and gross without meaning to be. He prob has zero idea this was so manipulative. But it doesn’t matter bc it takes away my peace so ✌🏼✌🏼✌🏼
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 11:04 PM
1

I mean with my more mature exes I’ve been able to healthy dialogue without it delving into pseudo-relational territory. Are you of the mind that there is never a time when getting back with an ex is a good idea or can work, in any circumstances? I have a fucked up upbringing, with this hallmark story my parents tell that is actually not hallmark at all. My dad (a narcissist) ghosted my mom at like 18, and saw her at a bus stop in her early twenties and they got back together after he begged with…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 11:00 PM
1

Yeah I’ve said in other posts he’s not a covert narcissist he’s just abusive in an obtuse way, there was no narcissistic cycle or trauma bond with him. Which is why I stayed longer than I should, bc I thought I should be grateful I wasn’t being verbally or emotionally abused. It’s possible he just didn’t trigger my trauma but is in fact also a narcissist. He was only an asshole after we broke up. I honestly think this sentiment above was just an example of him just not being intuitive or really …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 10:38 PM
5

Are any of them 😞
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 04:39 PM
17

I wish I could downvote him. That’s not just infuriating it’s invasive af. It’s saying, please don’t have your own mind or needs, it makes me feel attacked. Men feel attacked when another women’s perspective doesn’t suit theirs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 02:59 PM
13

Hahahaha good for you. He’s gross. His poor wife should know. Did she respond?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 02:48 PM
17

It’s funny though, it doesn’t truly benefit!!! It boils down to consequences. People stay ignorant bc they don’t want to FACE consequences. Bc the truth is consequences can be either varying degrees of good or varying degrees of bad. When we stay ignorant, we’re preventing consequences. People think avoiding consequences is a benefit. But even bad consequences are good, because there’s GROWTH. So it doesn’t truly benefit them, it keeps them stagnant; but those who don’t want to see that just cho…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 02:01 PM
6

❤️I understand your perspective. It is crucial to note if a therapist is supporting your growth or feeding your stagnation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 01:11 PM
8

My more recent ex is a covert narcissist and it was very difficult to leave bc I was trauma bonded and it followed the cycles of lovebomb, devalue, discard, Hoover. I got out two months ago bc the utter confusion was so painful it gave me clarity that things would never be clear with him (great oxymoron). W the ex I mention in this post, there was no narc cycle. He was consistent but trying to converse w him was like trying to waltz with a gorilla. But he had a warm heart, and tried hard to make…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 01:01 PM
25

Ughhhh gross. This makes me so angry. I deleted AND blocked. It felt so good. He had a way of guilting me which only now do I realize the level of manipulation. I wasn’t happy but I stayed bc he was more sensitive than any man I’d dated. I didn’t realize that sensitivity was actually manipulation, too. I am vehemently repelled by overtly controlling behaviors such as being told what to do or how to do it. The more covert manipulation is scary and difficult to break free from. Therapy helps. So d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 11:06 AM
5

It is why I got a new therapist. One he said was an asshole. An asshole bc she helped me ask for more for myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 11:01 AM
24

💯 and I agree. The “more time” is so entitled. They think they’re “owed” endless time to work on themselves. Meanwhile in their free time they’re wanking off to porn, killing fake robots and aliens, swiping through apps, watching tv or getting drunk/high and blaming the unfair world and their dead-end job for why they lack motivation. Time is now, memories are now. Tomorrow is guaranteed to nobody. But by all means, throwaway the good you have now for the quick fixes today and don’t look at why …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 10:54 AM
23

🤮I bet your boundary made him feel sooooo attacked. Good thing you’re rid of him, avoidants are like dating the devil if they’re not committed to working on themselves. Longing for crumbs hurts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 10:45 AM
33

😂😂😂yeppp. Also, it’s telling he’s not over me, after two and a half years and hasn’t worked on himself beyond budging maybe an inch forward, but is still on every goddamn dating app and making friends with the girls he meets and saying he doesn’t need therapy bc he has his friends (pickmes). They don’t learn. They can’t learn. They are entitled even if it’s hidden until you leave them. Emotionally incompetent men will always be emotionally incompetent.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 10:39 AM
5

I fail to see why this has anything to do with it? I’m of free will and my therapy doesn’t influence my relationship decisions. I go to therapy to work on my own stuff. If I feel a therapist is telling me what I should or shouldn’t do, I stop going to them. Believe me I have noted red flags relatively easily in therapists, it’s one place I don’t stay if it’s the wrong fit. Relationships, however, much different story. Which is a big part of why I’m in therapy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 10:35 AM
14

Yikes. This is very sneaky and terrifying. Glad he’s your ex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 05:38 AM
54

Grossssssss. He also wanted to know your trigger prob so he could use it to manipulate you. Reading your journal? 🤮 Man children, please mind your boundaries. If you want to understand me, just fucking talk to me and 😱😱😱listen to understand!!!😱😱😱 not to hear what you want.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 02:42 AM
24

Right? Thank you. And they say women are psycho.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 02:37 AM
39

Hahahaha no they were both women. One was more a thinker, the one who I was seeing when I broke up with him. But I love how asshole therapist is seen as male hahahaha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 02:29 AM
80

I never thought he was narcissistic, but I’m starting to see him as one too… which sucks. I think he’s more just severely codependent. My entire family LOVED him. 🤮🤮🤮 I don’t think he was a narcissist bc he didn’t use intermittent reinforcement but looking back, he WAS Abusive. He refused to see my perspective and was always doing nice things but is STILL pissed (we broke up more than 2 years ago) that I didn’t appreciate “all the good.” If it was good to him, he can’t understand why I was unhap…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 02:26 AM
139

It kills me bc I waste my TIME trying to teach self reflection instead of being like “this is a brick wall” and treating it as such. The point I need to learn is a person cannot learn to catch the ball if they see no ball coming at them until it hits them in face. Then they cry and call themselves victim. It’s so so gross. I’m standing here throwing balls for you to catch but you only notice they’re being thrown when you are smacked by them. Willfully obtuse. I get so heated by the ignorance. I …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/06/21 12:20 AM
2

Soon to be ex husband
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/06/21 12:30 PM
3

Leave him ASAP
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 04:44 PM
37

Parasite*
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/06/21 01:39 AM
208

Ehhhh LOL a male stranger might be doing these things to keep up his nice guy facade while ignoring his gf unless he needs her sex or attention. So a man on a street being kind doesn’t mean shit. My ex was incredibly “nice” to anyone he didn’t have to build actual concrete relationships with, bc it reinforced his delusional belief in his good guy image. Reality was much different than his feigned friendly, altruistic side.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/06/21 09:27 PM
91

I’d guess probably her hair threatens man children bc it just shows she doesn’t gaf if men find her sexually appealing
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/06/21 11:01 PM
10

Know now when a dude mention love languages early and says his is physical touch I am OUT lmao. Honestly a dude mentioning love languages at all, red flag.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/05/21 02:30 AM
1

Did you not block him?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/05/21 12:45 AM
46

Yesss thank you queen❤️ 👑 not being chosen by a lvm is indicative of self-empowerment. I want to get to the point where I see LVM as so beneath me that I don’t care what they value. What they value is largely about compliance, ease of manipulation, low maintenance attitude and needs, power struggles and superficial worth alone. I think lvm find a girl a dream girl or high value if she has •power over• them (example luke HJNTIY author Greg Behrendt) Once they perceive a semblance of power, they d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 11:22 PM
3

Yayyyy! Cant wait to read it❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 11:12 PM
2

also curious if you stayed no contact after break up 8 months ago??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 11:11 PM
2

Thank you so much!! It helps to know if isn’t permanent. Is this w/ no contact?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 11:11 PM
2

Thank you. It hurts me so much to even read that second paragraph, so I know I have a heck of a lot to unpack. A lot of it was internalized. In EMDR I find a lot of memories are blocked. I have maybe two memories I can fully pinpoint, the rest is just this vague feeling of being terrified whenever my dad was around. I felt that with my ex, too, embarrassingly, from the very beginning. I rarely (if ever) felt safe around him. Looking back I can’t really remember a time I felt truly loved by him e…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 09:48 PM
37

“What he’s into is meaningless because a LVM’s choices hold no value.” I am writing this shit down and engraving it lol. Makes me feel so much better. Especially in the case of narcissistic men... they only value themselves and if their actual self is simply the result of a fragilely defended ego with zero true character or strengths, what they desire is more than irrelevant... it’s not going to be valued, period, bc they value nothing worth valuing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 06:40 PM
2

Yikes to the easier access part.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 06:07 PM
6

Thanks so much. Ugh it also really helps to read that hyper vigilance is common in these relationships. I know I never felt this hyper vigilant with non character disordered relationships. Even IF I had doubts and trust issues in all of them; only the narcissistic relationships left me feeling constantly on edge. He told me HE was walking on eggshells bc he never knew when I’d be upset w him. I made a mistake in the relationship by retraumatizing myself in attempts to be emotionally open about f…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 05:30 PM
6

No contact w my dad feels shockingly impossible especially since he’s improved. However I’m planning to move across the country in the spring so I will not be so involved in the dynamic by then. I agree I think cluster b population is much larger, especially now. I think that’s bc most don’t get help, and most aren’t evil mustache twisting villains with a 24/7 joker smirk going around sadistically killing people.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 04:32 PM
10

Yup I realize now no amount of reasoning could happen with him bc he didn’t operate from reason he operated from desire for control, power and protecting his massively wounded ego. My last therapist I broke up with told me I needed to communicate my needs more clearly. And realize he couldn’t make me happy that that was my job. Sure no one can “make anyone happy” but someone can be a great source of support, encouragement, authentic care and kindness. She had me thinking the problem was solely b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/05/21 04:30 PM
15

Needed to hear this, too. Thank you ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 06:37 PM
9

Surprised he told grandma the whole truth and not a fictional truth that made his ex look bad and him look good. That’s what kinda creature that is.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/05/21 05:49 PM
233

“Sorry I was being so crazy while you treated me like shit.” Thank you! Got me laughing, needed to read this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/05/21 03:45 AM
121

Lmao I think w parasitic lvm their predatory behavior starts to show on their faces. The more people they discard and/or abuse, the more they have to run themselves ragged w workaholism, drinking, drugs, sex, and other addictions etc to avoid facing the reality of themselves. And their bodies eventually break down. No amount of Botox or plastic surgery will fix a hollow and malignant spirit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/05/21 03:56 PM
8

Lol yeah I have that same mentality. So I’ve rephrased it in my head as “he’s just not doing it.” Simple. No reasoning behind why or why not. Just he’s not meeting my needs. No motives implied. Do or do not there is no try😌
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 01:19 AM
12

I have a bit of an issue w this phrase too though. Bc it implies he will do it for a cool girl, his dream girl etc. The “if” makes the “wanting to” conditional when no, if he’s lazy he’ll simply apply his laziness in another way for his “dream girl” and will also do it if he WANTS TO until he’s bored and DOESN’T want to. It’s more like: he’s not doing it. No ifs, ands, buts or confusion.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/05/21 01:16 AM
28

Ohhhh god this reminds of this trashy show on bravo called summer house. One of the stars, Lindsey, said to her obvs lvm “I won’t be mad if you finger me while I’m sleeping.” 🤢wtf why did this actually air? Non-consent isn’t sexy. And consent isn’t sexy, either... it’s to be expected. Like you know, wiping your butt or brushing your teeth.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 03:45 PM
22

They’re also on the apps to fill their narcissistic void and need for validation/attention to feel they even exist. Lol it’s not about relationships.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/05/21 01:38 PM
9

Ugh, I’m so sorry he was unfaithful. Good for you for finally getting out!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 03:57 AM
12

❤️yeah I dunno why I typed 3, I’m sorry. Are you in no contact? How long ago was the break up? I hope you’re hanging in there, one year was hard on me, I can’t imagine 5. You’re incredibly strong to have gotten out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 03:37 AM
6

This is important saving it on my phone thank you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/05/21 02:02 AM
2

Thank you. She is a 👑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 01:15 AM
2

😭🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/05/21 12:49 AM
19

Wtf
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/05/21 03:17 PM
18

Yeah self-sabotage is a very lame excuse, and he is avoiding accountability which makes him untrustworthy.
/r/askFDS06/05/21 01:26 AM
1

Happy cake day!!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 09:58 PM
6

I need to remember this 💯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/05/21 09:53 PM
69

Lol yuuuuuup. Take care of me? Lmaoooooo. Taking care of yourself is much harder when you have a leech for a so.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 08:45 PM
10

So much easier to take care of myself when I’m not attaching my worth to a NVM/LVM. And I know what I want much more clearly when I’m not in a relationship with someone who causes me to doubt my worth, feelings, desires, needs and even dreams. Wish I had learned this in HS. Wish this was taught in high school.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/04/21 08:44 PM
3

🤣me too hahahaha. Welcome☺️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 07:33 PM
3

Thank you for being you. You are a gift.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 01:44 PM
19

I’d like to believe this is only the narcissists, so... the majority of men. Not saying namalt, saying mamalt
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 12:58 PM
17

💯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/04/21 05:11 AM
3

I will check these out thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 05:51 PM
5

Yeah you are lucky about that. I’m currently looking for therapists that have this experience. Hopefully I will find one.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 12:53 PM
6

💯 the system itself is biased but it seems a lot of them are waking up, focusing more on social justice than prior. But much like most of the systems in our nation, the power imbalance still exists and the history deeply entrenched, so there needs to be a complete revamping, not just slight changes.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 12:44 PM
3

Exactly what happened w me
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 04:43 AM
2

Sounds similar to reiki?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 04:42 AM
8

What is somatic healing?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 02:51 AM
4

Absolutely. I didn’t think you were discouraging, just curious! And I agree, part of why I need therapy is BECAUSE I was pathologized as a kid for reacting (appropriately) to abuse. I was the scapegoat. It’s done pretty deep harm. Thanks for your response.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 02:38 AM
4

I’ve been reading his book as well
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 02:34 AM
14

I know, Dr Ramani talks about this in one of her videos, the Goldwater rule. It’s hard to study narcissism bc not many self report. It’s hard also bc it’s not treatable. And when spoken of in circles, you can risk your own livelihood. It’s risky business, and sadly they end up getting away with continuing to harm and abuse w no consequence. It’s why studying counseling, this is what I am going to focus on. Unhealthy power dynamics in relationships.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 02:33 AM
5

Thank you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 02:29 AM
15

He is already my ex. I’m saying I do not want to have a therapist that gaslights the abuse I talk about, and challenges me to try harder as opposed to realizing a narcissistic person cannot change. It’s not about her approval. It’s about feeling supported, seen, validated and understood. She sided w my abuser and I do not want a therapist like that again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 02:28 AM
12

These are good questions, thank you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 02:19 AM
5

Wow. Yep.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/04/21 12:47 AM
15

🤣🤣🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/04/21 12:12 AM
3

Exactly. It will get worse. You cannot fix an insensitive man. It will only break you.
/r/askFDS23/04/21 10:25 PM
20

❤️yup. Can confirm. The wolves came to eat me, repeatedly. Now I’m staying single to heal.
/r/askFDS23/04/21 08:14 PM
6

Yes. And this guy is basically trying to invalidate your feelings. Tell you your feelings are not correct. He lacks empathy. He is not for you.
/r/askFDS23/04/21 08:11 PM
6

First, I am so sorry you’re hurting. I myself have ptsd and I need a very loving and confident man. It is not okay what he said, and him taking it back does not take away the pain. His statement is gaslighting 101. He is not perfect, and for him to say your needs are too much is the opposite of what someone w CPTSD needs. Then when you tried processing it again, he DISMISSED your pain. The right person will bring about confirming experiences, that help you to heal. The wrong person will solidify…
/r/askFDS23/04/21 08:01 PM
25

Ditto LOL
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 06:04 PM
30

Yeah they need the humanity to dehumanize you’re right. Much less satisfying to predatory men to hurt something that can’t feel pain.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 02:39 PM
76

Ugh holy shit. Disturbed and disappointed but not surprised. Found an article about violence on sex dolls, I think there was a bbc once that was removed. This article also makes me think twice about the implications of sex dolls. Bc it’s only solidifying objectification. What has happened to our planet😔 Trigger warning https://www.newstatesman.com/politics/feminism/2017/09/damage-samantha-sex-robot-shows-male-aggression-being-normalised
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 02:06 PM
6

🤣🤣🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 12:57 PM
5

Almost reactively downvoted this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 12:54 PM
12

Oh my god this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 12:52 PM
4

Cisphobic swipe left, no bigots in same line.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 12:49 PM
98

This is the study I want to see
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 12:38 PM
88

Hahaha. Have you seen that Whitney Cummings stand up? Lol also a thought: if men had sex robots instead they would eventually die off and we could make the world a better place with the select few men who actually are capable of human relationships.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 12:38 PM
15

🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 12:36 PM
27

Eh yeah this is the only thing I don’t like about this video. I doubt remotely sexual dressing has anything to do w the objectivity. Was the study focused on objectivity and women’s dress? And what is the criteria for sexist men? How did the study determine that? Seems like a bogus test based on sexist views tbh.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 12:35 PM
45

💯 male toxicity to blame for men w fragile self image having problems w object permanence and empathy. If only there was like a light that we could SEE in the brains of men when that area increased activation, to know we were safe. I suppose we can see it through dead eyes and red flags. It just sucks some men get so good at faking humanity. Somethings I’ve realized: If a man was surrounded by toxic men growing up (played on sports teams well into college, went to only boys private school, was r…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 12:25 PM
22

Pornsickness. I want to stay away from men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/04/21 12:20 PM
6

Just went through her tiktok and she had given me life today. She is such a queen. Thank you so much for sharing.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 08:14 PM
6

This is perfect.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 08:00 PM
1

I forgot about ketamine. Thanks for the reminder.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 11:44 AM
11

Thank you guys for saying this. I hate when men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/04/21 11:35 AM
51

Omgg thank you for drawing attention this. They’re mad bc the failed relationshit was most likely their nv asses driving the women to the brink then pouting when she couldn’t handle the abuse which wAs “NeVeR tHeIr InTeNtIoN” wahwahwahh “can’t you see I’m a NiCe GuY?” Men playing victim is so tired.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 05:18 AM
33

This is my favorite phrase ever
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 05:14 AM
38

Men are from Mars right 🙄🤮
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 05:13 AM
6

Why’re they do desperate? Must truly hurt their balls sooo much to have someone try and take their unearned power away
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/04/21 05:12 AM
1

Oh my god same
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 06:33 PM
1

Thank you ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 02:41 PM
5

Thank you ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 01:45 PM
10

I have to learn this lesson bc they really can’t listen
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/04/21 03:08 AM
33

Wtf I’m so sorry what disgusting words
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 11:09 AM
2

Ugh I just ignored. Thank you❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 02:51 AM
3

Thank you sooo much. I just reread the post in the handbook on oxytocin and fuckboi cycles. This is absolutely what I’m enduring. How long do these cravings last? So interesting about the bath giving the same chemical release! My therapist today specifically told me I should take a long hot shower or bath. I just took one after reading that post, and watched Dr Ramani videos in the bathtub. My crying has subsided some. She is such a national treasure.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/04/21 01:45 AM
2

Also I hope your eye is okay! That sounds painful and awful.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 11:47 PM
6

Hahahahahaha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 10:29 PM
2

Thank you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 10:26 PM
2

Thank you ❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 10:07 PM
3

Also thank you for this comprehensive incredible list. It is extremely helpful and valuable advice and I will absolutely do all of this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 10:03 PM
9

This is funny bc every time I tried to break up he’d convince me but I’d get more and more beaten down. I started saving his number as He Is Not The One, or Dump Him. But then I’d erase it and re-save it but Person Who Causes Me Pain is the best way to do this. Bc it’s not really putting labels on it but being matter of fact. He hurts me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 09:45 PM
11

❤️nothing is lonelier, thank you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 08:07 PM
3

Thank you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 07:08 PM
5

I have a list I’ve compiled since the start. But he gaslit me so much that reading it I start to question if I made too much of things, overreacted, expected too much, focused on the negative. It’s painful to read.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 07:03 PM
11

I’m not in grad school yet. I will be in fall!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/04/21 06:51 PM
2

Thank you❤️lmao potato
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 11:40 PM
1

Thank youuuuuiiiii
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 11:39 PM
4

Thank you so much for this. I’d love to chat in more detail. Your metaphors are apt.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 06:00 PM
3

How long did it take to move on? I wish he wasn’t a narcissist bc it just makes me realize how little he actually loved or cared. Which he made obvious but that’s what hurts.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 04:45 PM
4

I love her. I fell asleep listening to her at the tail End of this situationshit.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 04:39 PM
1

So you had a guy who basically fought w you constantly bc you bothered to stand up for yourself and then blamed the failure of the relationship on “BOTH OF US not communicating well or being able to comfort each other appropriately and never being able to see eye to eye?” When you gave him more empathy and understanding than he ever deserved, you tried every fucking approach in the book to cOmMuNiCaTe your needs more clearly, or cOmMuNiCaTe any triggers more clearly, and found yourself shutting …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 04:34 PM
4

No I had a ton of cognitive dissonance throughout the relationship, was extremely addicted to the trauma bond and accepted his excuses bc I felt desperate to not feel the pain of withdrawal so I prolonged it instead
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 04:28 PM
1

He was good at making plausible excuses.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 04:13 PM
11

I’m going relationship free for at least 6 months. If not longer. I need to heal bc the damage he inflicted has caused more ptsd, and I already had cptsd. He made it active again.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 02:47 PM
11

Thank you so much for your kind words. It’s true, he did take advantage of my talents and strengths. I have a lot of empathy and I know it’s a gift but does not feel like one right now. I do feel suicidal right now, completely and utterly lost.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 02:33 PM
7

When I was talking to my mom about the breakup she kept saying how much of a loser he was and how strange and not right in the head he was and I started to feel so much guilt and overwhelming pity for him and I realize he set me up that way by creating a subtle sense of victim hood in his life when he’s got a full time job w benefits, is private school educated, a college graduate, and a white attractive male. Never in his life has he been victimized.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 02:18 PM
3

Have posted this list LOL
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 02:12 PM
1

I have taken it. I’ve also been in therapy since childhood. I’m not sure when this healing is supposed to actually occur tbh bc I’ve gone through so many periods where I thought I’d healed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 12:27 PM
8

I have so many lists
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 12:25 PM
3

No
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 12:23 PM
9

Thank you❤️yer right
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/04/21 08:42 AM
4

Dr Ramani is incredible. I wish she was my therapist. Thank you for putting this so succinctly. And thank you for sharing your story. I’m sorry you were victim to a predatory man. Your words toward his ex are so important. It’s common to believe you’re better bc they feed you lies. The only thing that is better is how much they believe their new supply will be vulnerable to their manipulation. And that’s not on the woman. It’s on the man for manipulating. Why does society simply fail to ever mak…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 03:04 PM
4

💯 Complacency is not personal. That’s why I do not like the concept of “if they wanted to they would” from the conventional perspective. It frames it as though effort to change, grow and be more in alignment w self only happens if the other person is “good enough” to bring it forth in them. Just bc society teaches us to look outside of ourselves to validate our worth does not make it the truth. If a man is complacent these are his struggles. If he changes “for the right person” it’s not bc they’…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/04/21 02:41 PM
5

I’m sorry!!! I thought it was just a hilarious disclaimer.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 04:20 AM
6

Disclaimer in the post! 😨 I want you to live a long and happy life!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/04/21 12:20 AM
17

Dead.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 10:50 PM
39

Thanks for saying this. It’s such an ingrained message that I find it hard to even fight those thoughts on a daily basis. That it’s the woman’s fault for not being docile, yielding and hot enough for a porn addicted brain. She obviously believes it herself too bc she filtered her face so much. Not hating on her at all, I empathize with it and it’s a completely unhealthy perspective that a man determines the woman’s worth. Just bc we are merely commodities to most of them, that doesn’t say anythi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 10:46 PM
16

Yeah if he dismisses the women’s perspectives in general in his life and seems to more easily acknowledge men’s perspectives... he’s a covert misogynist if not blatant.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 01:47 AM
8

Same
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/04/21 01:45 AM
23

To a pickme they’d be flattered
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 05:30 PM
1

Lmao he’s texting you bc he’s repeating his damn patterns and doesn’t respect women at all.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 05:25 PM
2

Being desirable by people you don’t like isn’t very helpful. 🤯 So simple but legitimately so hard to unlearn the opposite when raised in a pickme culture.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 05:23 PM
21

Or getting violent or aggressive where you dare to express any feelings that aren’t grateful, happy or indebted to them. They can’t empathize and they know this so they turn it all on you by framing it as dramatic, overreactive, nagging, expecting too much, needing too much, being too much.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 04:49 PM
117

Yuck the pick me comments
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/04/21 04:38 PM
4

Honestly I’ve been through this w an ex and he immediately unfollowed every thot but... didn’t mean his behavior changed. He still made lewd statements and treated me like his property. And it’s not subtle once you know what you’re looking for. Nope all the way out of there before you get attached and go all the way sexually w him.
/r/askFDS07/04/21 06:14 PM
5

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/neurosagacity/201701/the-brain-can-work-against-abuse-victims
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 10:00 PM
12

Soothing makes sense! A protective measure for the nervous system during trauma. In situations of predatory men this is terrible though.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 09:16 PM
24

This brings up the whole can of worms though that I don’t even WANT to think about. In ancient times, was abuse and disrespect just part of the equation for survival? Happiness was not a focus, simply working together was the biggest need. If misogyny and narcissism are all the result of a industrialized society, does this mean that in order to actually survive now- you need to take love out of the equation completely as a woman? Love itself based on this seems quite fruitless, a lie even. Also …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 08:44 PM
8

I needed to see it lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 07:03 PM
18

What? How is this living w him for free?! I don’t understand
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 07:01 PM
-3

I do not see in this study anything about feelings needing to be strong prior to sex in men? Can you show me this?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 06:48 PM
28

In what reason biologically would trauma induce oxytocin release? I don’t really understand why the body would want to encourage a painful bond???
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 06:46 PM
124

Wowwwwww wtf. I’m so sorry that happened to you. Gross. That is therapy 101... to not dismiss a persons pain. It sounds as though she’s prob got her own issues w men🙄. In order to vet I would be upfront about men and trauma and tell her you’re coming in to work through this, and need empathy and support. Possibly even tell her you’re not looking to be told “not all men” bc that’s part of the problem!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 06:10 PM
1

Abusive and manipulative relationships aren’t always abuse and pain. No one would stay in one if there wasn’t the “nice moments.” The nice moments are all part of the trauma bond. They keep you stuck in the cycle. The nice moments are CRUMBS, slivers of hope to keep you on the hook and feeding your illusions. The manipulation, the pain.... that’s the reality. Anyone actually caring enough to benefit and grow from therapy wouldn’t use manipulation those manipulation tactics you mentioned above. H…
/r/askFDS06/04/21 06:07 AM
18

Emotionality isn’t the same as emotional intelligence. I think when I am most susceptible to this manipulation is when I’m struggling w emotional regulation and dependency. That’s not emotional intelligence, as I think high EQ would understand when something feels off and not question their intuition on it.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/04/21 02:01 AM
2

Yikes I never even thought of the foot traffic aspect, and ppl attempting to pick you up 🤮And if you wear headphones you’re endangering yourself too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 11:22 PM
4

I understand! Awesome! I can imagine street murals are an incredible experience to create.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 09:17 PM
12

💯 Sickening. This is why supporting female artists is so so so important. But it’s incredibly depressing you have to chose between one or the other. Though this is probably the case w any career that requires complete dedication. Bc a man can’t handle the attention being off of them, they act out in passive aggressive ways. Btw- What city are you in? What kind of art do you do?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 08:51 PM
16

Lol or you’d be working hard in the studio all day while managing any of your children’s stuff, PLUS having to manage the mans lazy messes at home bc he’s been at the office all day is sooooo tired. Doubt there’d be much time for work at all unless you lived fucking separate and could lock your studio. Whereas men can just dick around allll day w their work w out having to manage the house at all🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 07:13 PM
14

Holy shit yup
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 02:12 PM
19

Omfg. I remember after I ended a situationshit with a nvm narcissist. I sent him an article about porn and women not orgasming at all and was arguing that sex addicts think they’re good at sex bc they do it a lot but usually base their moves on superficial acts and have zero ability to actually please the person. I told him I didn’t have access to the whole study. He had a doctorate, so he said “I have unlimited access, but I’d like unlimited access to you.” 🤮blocked him so fast after that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 02:10 PM
29

Man. The more I read from FDS the more I’m convinced I’ll either be single until I’m old (and find a man who’s widowed and/ or finally leveled up); or I’ll be in an emotionally, verbally, physically or psychologically abusive relationship. That there is no “in between”. That a guy can’t casually watch porn w out internalizing the entitlement and deeply ingrained misogyny. It will and DOES leak into their lives and traumatizes the women around them. Porn can’t be compartmentalized. As much as men…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 01:56 PM
5

Without foreplay piv won’t do anything for me. And foreplay isn’t just like jabbing his fingers anywhere but my clit for two seconds to see if I’m wet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 01:51 PM
7

This.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 01:50 PM
7

I don’t remember the study or numbers, but I remember reading that in porn the majority of women moaning aren’t even orgasming. They’re acting. This is why they think this way, redditor porn addicts. They believe fake sex is real sex.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 01:48 PM
27

I’d love to read this study!! It makes sense without even seeing the research... prob bc as a woman I have empathy and have experienced true deep friendship and connection, and know what the opposite feels like, too... it’s def boring but also lonely and empty. Most of the scrotatoes claiming boredom are actually just void of intrapersonal and interpersonal intelligence.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 01:45 PM
119

I was so disappointed watching Andy Goldsworthy (environmental artist) in his home life on a documentary. He was eating breakfast w his four children and his wife attempted small talk asking about his work. I can’t get his response out of my head. He “playfully” mocked “I don’t have plans, I work InTuItIvElY.” Meanwhile, he’s staring out into another world eating toast while his wife is cleaning, cooking and holding one child on her hip. I guess at least he’s rich. But it seemed so empty😔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 01:35 PM
24

This is so true. Brad I don’t know you. But I do you had no empathy for your ex “huge pair of tits.” So you think bc I’m another “pair of tits” that you can easily supplant me with her? I would have been tempted to tell him that he deserves no empathy from anyone if he’s going around spewing trash. But I know lvm don’t deserve any tips on how to manipulate further. They certainly won’t be using the knowledge to actually be a better person.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 01:28 PM
3

Handbook🙌🏽
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 03:40 AM
7

Yeah I mean it’s super easy to delete messages or use telegram to be a cheater w out appearing it at first glance.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 03:39 AM
13

Saved. Thank you. The calendar schedule is a great idea.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/04/21 03:21 AM
12

Yup men will rape you or passive aggressively demean and belittle you, bc to the men that don’t care about you, your needs mean they’re not man enough to provide In my family my needs were either attached w strings, like if my mom met my needs, it also meant she was allowed to violate all of my boundaries. She’d read my diary, go in my room and go through my stuff, tell personal info of mine to strangers and coworkers and act as though she was a victim. My dad would abuse and rage, prob for the …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 03:04 PM
93

Yeah it’s not even that I took pride in not having needs, it’s more like my needs were shamed out of me to the point that I was ashamed at my existence. I still feel disgusting having needs or embarrassed to ask for things at all. I’d prefer to be proud of it as opposed to ashamed. Though both aren’t healthy.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 02:22 AM
20

Is it really impressive? “She’s just an outlet,” he’s basically implying she’s a flesh light and the woman buys it only bc she doesn’t want to believe the reality that he’s prob fallen for this woman bc in his mind she’s an upgrade. Which is why he has all those pics. He’s telling her the opposite of what’s true, bc he doesn’t want to look like an asshole... but his lies makes him look like an asshole and a user.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/04/21 02:17 AM
4

Thank you. This makes me not trust any male dating advice. None of it. I won’t listen anymore to their bs.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 08:24 PM
1

Yeah so just ghost
/r/askFDS31/03/21 08:12 PM
18

Lol yeah the “nice guys” are the creepy, overly agreeable, passive aggressive, chameleon men that use flattery but don’t know who tf they are. They just want some girl to give them external ego boosts bc if they looked inside they’d realize how empty they are, how little they know about themselves or what they even want in a significant other. They just want some idealized fantasy women and once that person shows they’re human, have needs besides puffing up their ego, it’s over. They’re the 500 …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/03/21 08:05 PM
6

Not sure I agree w this. Unless they make a pity ploy out of it, I’d say it says nothing about their loyalty, although it does say something about their levels of trust.
/r/askFDS31/03/21 07:55 PM
2

I mean tbh it’s not very polite to talk shit about her and say you hate her. It doesn’t sound like friendship and more sounds like resentment bc you aren’t sticking up for your own desires in a friendship. I wouldn’t explain anything. Just say you are busy then don’t make plans. Keep being busy, or just say I’m sorry I have a different idea of what friendship looks like and this isn’t it.
/r/askFDS31/03/21 07:53 PM
38

Me too hahahaha great imagery
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 04:59 PM
249

Lmao you out here acting like we draw these features from scratch
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/03/21 04:04 PM
7

“Her life is easy mode...” And this is why I hate the majority of men. If it doesn’t affect them it simply doesn’t exist.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 07:32 PM
19

Lol, “I brought you coffee as a surprise that one time after I pissed you off by ignoring you an entire evening bc my feelings were hurt that yours were hurt after I made a joke at your expense. Would I REALLY have poor intentions if I brought you coffee once? Would an asshole really do that for you?”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/03/21 07:28 PM
12

Valid point. I can’t even believe I didn’t think this way, that’s how skewed my reality is of equity between men and women. Poor girl.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/03/21 03:05 AM
12

I dunno I think about the woman in that position and would prefer to think that she probably didn’t get that way out of nowhere. Maybe she knows that it piles up w out her control. Maybe she literally just cleaned. I doubt these are isolated incidents.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 05:18 PM
16

Imagine being that lazy holy shit
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 03:59 PM
10

I think if a need is reasonable and voiced then it’s not about letting things go. You got it twisted. We are not more comfort security oriented, men are. These would be non issues otherwise.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 03:57 PM
22

Girl I know. My father not only didn’t prioritize simple comfort requests, but turned my request into an attack. He would rage at me if I turned the heat DOWN (which saves money). There was worse instances, which I won’t go into. But if there’s little things they can’t concede on, there will be bigger ones, it’s only a matter of time. But I continue to go for men who don’t prioritize my comfort over their own. One time I was on a trip w my ex, pulled my back and wanted to buy a new pillow (didn’…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/03/21 03:55 PM
3

This needs a trigger warning his aggressiveness is disgusting
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/03/21 05:43 PM
4

Yes this. I think bpd is cptsd often in women. I think bipolar is often misdiagnosed in women the same way too
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy14/03/21 02:03 PM
5

❤️I’m sorry you went through so much trauma. My heart breaks for you. I’m so glad you found this place so young! I wish I’d had a space like this at your age. I do not feel sorry for my mother. She’s head over heels for my father still, and he has put us all through so much. I love her, I love my dad, but empathy for them truly has only gotten me in hot water- bc I’ve used my empathy for others instead of directing it inward. I have no control over my mother’s happiness. I used to have empathy. …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 02:56 PM
10

😂yeah same see my comment above. Hahahaha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 02:23 PM
9

Only if reading the book was frustrating and you quit reading it. Or worse, you were so bored of it you lost interest after a chapter or two because it wasn’t piquing your attention. But then tried picking it up again months later and had to reread the previous chapter; but this continuously happens and you end up with a book you’ve read half of twice in two years. It’s kinda more like that. Bc I’ll reread my favorite books for pleasure! Relationships aren’t about the happy ending- the whole thi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/03/21 02:22 PM
2

Oh my god. Completely. Male strangers, coworkers, acquaintances...they’ll easily have empathy for them bc these ppl will confirm their “nice guy” facade without requiring it to continue on a regular basis. Whereas extending empathy to their partner means they’re a pushover/simp and submitting their power to a woman. They gain from empathy to the general populous. It’s narcissistic supply. Regular empathy for their partner doesn’t “benefit” them bc empathy in this case promotes emotional connecti…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 03:16 AM
1

Adore her. So authentic, genuine, passionate, strong and insightful. Definitely goals.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/03/21 01:46 AM
9

If you see the spot you get it you waste of space
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 04:21 PM
37

Omfg what an entitled bratty creep
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 04:19 PM
36

I block when they ask for pics. Bitch, (yes actually, YOU) you think I’m dumb? What you gonna use that pic for? Looking fondly at my features and wistfully longing to look into my eyes in personal to get to know my soul? No. You’re either gonna fap or judge, prob both. I’m good and I’m more than my image so fuck right off.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/03/21 04:18 PM
2

The fact that they fucked up the c section and epidural makes me think they should bring a lawyer into this for malpractice but maybe I’m completely ignorant in that assumption
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/03/21 02:34 AM
1

Right and if it was flipped the women would be harlots for leading a guy on
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/03/21 05:05 PM
3

I think it’s not really emotional intelligence if it’s used for manipulation and not for congruency It’s simply emotional manipulation. True emotional intelligence also requires an empathetic intelligence.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/03/21 03:01 AM
4

If you do this please send me a message lol
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 11:46 PM
30

Better to have close relationships w women who won’t gaslight, dismiss, belittle, deny, make excuses, abuse, use and blame us for their inability to grow as a person, or care for someone beyond their own selfish desires. I don’t even understand wanting a family anymore unless a man can prove they’re not entitled, clueless and selfish.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 11:45 PM
1

This needs a TW please
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/03/21 02:04 PM
9

Yeah it wasn’t just his dads porn tapes. He was abused. Still, so was I and I’m not a sociopath. He became what he was bc he was entitled and never suffered consequences. His sociopathy got him further. It reminds me of when I found chuck bass attractive in my early 20s... my prime pick-me years. His and Blair’s relationship was toxic and I thought they were perfect for each other 🙄 So Elordi has a point- It’s scary that there’s attraction to a violent character. It doesn’t say so much about the…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 05:22 PM
3

Bingo. Or they say nothing and pretend they’re clueless. Needs? What needs? Mine? Certainly you can’t have any that’s not what you’re here for.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 05:55 AM
3

Yet if you say anything about feeling the relationship isn’t safe or secure- you’re delusional, or being negative, or projecting, or painting him in a bad light and “he isn’t the awful person you think he is, he’s a good guy.” Makes the anxiety skyrocket bc you’re not heard or seen. It’s legitimately crazy making and it’s not bc you’re high maintenance it’s bc you’re intuitive and that anxiety is your body pleading w you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/03/21 04:16 AM
2

Physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/21 05:11 PM
1

Lmaoooo shitty insights is right. I don’t think I’ve once gotten insight from a man I hadn’t already realized by the time I was 17-18, and they look all proud in person when they elucidate on their point. At least it clarifies why their eyes glaze over when I share insights I have... bc they literally can’t follow.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/03/21 05:10 PM
10

I need this tattooed on me
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 04:18 PM
2

Yeah I’m hard pressed to find a man yet that has the emotional depth and self awareness to respect or commit to anyone or anything who doesn’t benefit THEM more. Genuine concern and value requires them to 1) not objectify women 2) put in effort without benefit, 50/50, win/win 3) emotional intelligence I feel that the largest percentage of men lack these things and can only put on a good fake show before sex. After sex it’ll be hot and cold displays of aggressive, arrogant or passive aggressive b…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/02/21 02:17 PM
82

Love him
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 06:37 PM
29

Also hahahaha “I don’t watch porn for years,” (only a few seconds, so I can come). Thinks he’s so clever for a dumb fuckboi.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 04:53 PM
15

“Unrealistic...” annnnd blocked
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 04:52 PM
7

Hahahaha he is the most butthurt
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/02/21 04:07 PM
4

Fuck their assumptions you wear what you want. Ppl will always have opinions and it says nothing about you it says a lot about the ppl.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 07:30 PM
6

Right or advertising being choked? Man pisses me off
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 05:45 PM
18

A very hilarious meme I gather /s
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 05:25 AM
52

A real HVM would not treat any woman as disposable. A real HVM also wouldn’t use social media to brag about his happiness as opposed to actually experiencing it. And I’d also be forward to say I’ve not known any HVM thirsting over women on Instagram. He’s not worth your self-shame cycle. Block him again and don’t go back. You unblocked to feel validated. Don’t go looking for validation from someone who broke up with you. They ended things. Let’s say he DID actually reach out, or seemed sad. Woul…
/r/askFDS25/02/21 03:33 AM
62

Omg. This reminds of a guy I very briefly dated refer to the choker I was wearing as meaning I was DTF, (which he was proven wrong hahahaha) bc apparently that’s also a thing? Now I’m wondering if this was porn related too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 03:14 AM
7

.... wow
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 03:07 AM
15

https://twitter.com/apocalynds/status/1269711325749563399?s=21
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/02/21 03:05 AM
4

I think it’s more about educating society on the nature of abuse, manipulation and even subtle dangers so they don’t get to that trapped place in the first place. This type of education should be a huge part of “sex education.” Women should be taught about red flags and toxic patterns. I wasn’t taught this, and being raised in a sometimes violent home, I saw these patterns as familiar, expected even. As far as how to help them get out, I’m at as much of a loss as you bc the deeper they are the h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 08:18 PM
6

Asking the victim why they felt trapped should be a moot point. Once we fully understand he nature of abusive people, we can understand it’s never the victim, it’s the behaviors and lack of accountability of abusers that create victims in the first place. Furthermore, it’s the abusers manipulative MO to have the spotlight on the victim so that they can avoid any self reflection and stay in a continued state of ignorance and denial. The best way to help victims of abuse is to simply believe them,…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 07:02 PM
3

You’re right, and I never thought about that!! If his whole existence was based on being a chameleon and fabricating who he was to suit his audience and his ego, then we can’t really believe any of the shit he said. Even the stuff that makes his villainy sound credible. You’re absolutely right... abusers don’t deserve even negative recognition.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/02/21 02:37 AM
6

I agree that attracting does put more shame on the victim. We can look at FKA twigs interview, where she’s asked (In regards to abusive relationship with Shia LeBoofwhatevertf), “why’d you stay?” She responds by saying she thinks the question needs to be shifted and she won’t answer. She said the question needs to be (to the abuser) “why do they feel the need to trap someone in abuse?” She’s exactly right. Time and again women are the ones persecuted for being targeted. We can say that a guy loo…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 11:42 PM
7

Omgggg love it hahahaha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/02/21 11:29 PM
29

He’s old. Hopefully he’ll die in there.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/02/21 04:01 PM
6

Hahahaha exactly when do most men offer anything when you’re having a bad day besides trite words so they can go back to their day w out your emotional burden.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 05:38 PM
2

I never thought about the fact that HVM would find 50/50 embarrassing. It makes sense but can you elaborate bc I want to know more on this!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 05:36 PM
3

You have sex and kiss all your friends?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 05:32 PM
18

Yeah it’s the only avenue he has, calling women ugly. Bc he’s so fucking desirable.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 05:28 PM
20

Right? Hebo, ephebo... all pedo. If you’re not 16 you shouldn’t be turned on by one. If you are, you’ve not matured properly. At best you have Peter Pan syndrome, at worst you have Peter Pan syndrome and a desire to manipulate, control and maintain power.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 05:23 PM
43

Yesss same. I trim and shave it shape, but I will not remove my hair bc it is vile to me, personally. Big red flag if a guy says he likes it shaved. I also feel bad for the women getting painful waxes bc I can’t imagine that’s for their sake, rather than internalized misogyny
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 05:16 PM
5

Ugh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 05:13 PM
39

We can also simply look at our society as pedophilic tbh. Definitely discussed this at length with guys who don’t want to hear it. We idolize youth, naïveté and innocence. Why else are there these ridiculous filters that make everyone look like a cherub? Wisdom, aging, experience, strength and resilience... they’re not admired because our society cannot profit off of this.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 05:11 PM
31

Oh my god this. They simply refuse to acknowledge the depravity. I say do you really think that most of these women are consenting? Age of consent, let alone not consenting bc of substance use or forced labor AND let’s not even fathom the wormhole we have to go down to recognize those who chose a life of sex work are most likely unable to empower themselves in ways that truly matter... so are they really consenting either? They always like to say I’m sure those are an exception, not a norm🙄 the …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/02/21 05:06 PM
2

I bought myself this heart necklace w pressed flowers bc I don’t like real flowers bc they die and it makes me sad to throw them out. W the necklace, I asked myself, if I was my lover what would I give me for vday? I also lit a candle, did some yoga’s day meditation then journaled at midnight.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/02/21 12:24 AM
16

That’s the red flag
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/02/21 02:33 AM
12

And other pickmes be like “wE 👏🏼lOvE👏🏼tO👏🏼sEe👏🏼It!!”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 05:15 PM
10

Better idea.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 05:13 PM
9

Right like exactly where in this manipulative gaslighting crock of crap did he actually address or ease her insecurities at all? He legit just ignored and basically patronized her needs and she ate it right up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 05:13 PM
16

I don’t think it’s about the girl being a placeholder. I had a guy I dated who would’ve married me but I ended it bc I thought his thirsting was vile and told him so. He stopped following girls on Instagram but I just couldn’t respect him afterwards and ended it. It’s just gross when you can see how deep the misogyny goes. I think sometimes men do it bc they get away with it and believe it harms no one (or rather don’t care to use the empathy to see the harm) It’s more that they’re the placehold…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 05:09 PM
17

Oh my god this was my thought exactly- that he isn’t remorseful he’s just sad bc women never saw any value in him beyond his now shriveled cock. So his cock is used up and also holds no value either. So he regrets that he can’t get any intimacy he doesn’t regret that he probably hurt more ppl than he can even name.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 05:01 PM
31

Yeahh this. “I want to experience genuine care and intimacy but it means fuck all I’m so lonely 😭” it’s exactly what prob most of his conquests felt. Traumatized by his sociopathic callousness but now that he’s affected by it, HE’S saaad. I don’t see genuine remorse in this, just selfish regret that nobody wants his shrunken used up dick or his cardboard personality. Lmao and I’ll bet that he’s only feeling this remorse bc he’s aging and the ppl he meets now want more abd he can’t give it. It’s …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 04:55 PM
61

Tempted to do a test on this using a throwaway account
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/02/21 04:48 PM
10

Lmao also notice how the one example they give is of the most extreme situation? Killing OP in his sleep. Let’s just assume he’s taken her to that state of mind. This OP will be in same boat soon. Let’s also just consider sure, the person planning to murder someone in their sleep needs therapy. But can we see why? Bc years of gaslighting, DARVO, manipulation and denial wear a person down to their nub. I will never ever see a woman as crazy again, or listen to any examples of “crazy women” as hol…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/21 06:00 PM
5

Oh my god. This. You’re sooooo negative bc you dare call out my disrespectful behavior! I can’t believe you think we’re incompatible bc you don’t want me to benefit from all your emotional labor while I sit back with zero self awareness continuously parroting excuse after excuse about bEnEfIt Of ThE dOuBt bc emotional effort isn’t even in my vocabulary. I’m sick of being called negative bc I can apply critical thought to callous and disgusting behaviors. It’s only negative to them bc everyone in…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/21 05:19 PM
3

Typically the ppl who ask for benefit of the doubt are not getting asked for benefit of the doubt from the person they want it from. Why would that be? Unless this person requesting benefit of the doubt wants the person to doubt that they are being treated like a doormat.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/21 05:12 PM
36

Legitimately read this and was like no this dude is apathetic, careless and lazy. She’s acting like it’s some lightbulb moment? Jesus Christ. “He got annoyed at me being annoyed.” He doesn’t lack empathy he’s just a shitty partner. The only people who care to pinpoint the reason behind behaviors are the people who HAVE empathy and WANT to understand. He doesn’t want to pinpoint his behavior bc HE DOES NOT CARE. Of course he’s going to LATCH ON like a leech to ANYTHING OP says that gets her less …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/02/21 04:54 PM
1

Me too?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/02/21 02:18 AM
1

W.t.f.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/02/21 06:02 AM
3

Yes not your job! Keep those glasses off! And good luck moving on!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 07:52 PM
47

Lol a narc I was seeing briefly during a date bc he disappeared for the entire day before and I KNEWWW why and I was being quiet and cold to him during our next date and he was bothered by it. He finally told me after pulling it out of me why I was upset. I point blank said I know you’re still fucking other ppl (he’d been saying he wasn’t). He finally admitted to sleeping with a married woman, bc it’s his “kink” He said then... “but I don’t have to and I’m open to discussing monogamy.” 🙄 as a pi…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 07:19 PM
2

💔I’m so sorry you went through that. And I’m soooo glad you found FDS. Terrifying experiences.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/02/21 12:16 AM
3

Yiiiikes. Prob w chore charts is it teaches them you manage them, and if they can get away w things not on chart they will. Also you’re doing extra work creating the chart. Whereas he gets to lay around and claim he doesn’t know what what there is to do bc he did his ONE CHORE. Meanwhile you’re scrambling to do everything. While he sits, prob watching sports or porn or playing video games, Ugh this is my absolute nightmare. Glad you got out.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 03:34 PM
6

Hahahaha gaslighting 101... thoughtful message 🙄in other words you ungrateful bitch why can’t you fix him (me/all men). They all have the same handbook. Dude was triggered bc he prob does the same shit to his forever gf and was upset you weren’t handling it like a mommy should.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/02/21 03:25 PM
3

This is so smart
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/21 09:35 PM
5

Lol it’s worse than babysitting bc at least w children you know: one, they’re still learning any immaturity is the result of their short time spent in the planet; two, they’re your responsibility only for the hours you’re PAID for them to be. You’re not paid hourly to be a mans therapist, mother, personal secretary and bang maid. You end being the one paying, in emotional reserves. But they bring up that one time they cleaned four weeks ago without you asking (bc you gave up cleaning for them an…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/21 09:34 PM
4

YES. You have zero obligation to help him change or grow☺️ keep remembering that. The level of entitlement of men 🙄acting like we owe it to them to communicate and force their change bc they’re too apathetic to even try self awareness on for even two minutes. We’re supposed to magic their apathy and cowardly behaviors away with our big hearts? No.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/21 06:05 PM
16

Hahahaha oh my god if this statement wasn’t so true “despite what they think men do not get to pay into a little bank of good deeds at the start of the relationship and then ride it for years of shitty behavior” 😵 this 9/10 men in a nutshell. If I pretend to be a good catch maybe she won’t catch on that I’m not when I give up pretending. Sad thing is men are also so good at manipulating the story so that even if women catch on- they’re guilted into pretending the blaring red flags are pink, and …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/21 05:55 PM
17

Oh my god “I’ve never met someone who could offer (emotional support) bc I’ve always mastered being my own. If anything ppl kind of whittle away at you more and more.” I feel this deeply, esp feel men whittle me away bc they don’t or refuse to have enough of the emotional intelligence to actually even know wtf emotional support is. So you end up draining yourself of reserves trying to teach them basic relational skills, or taking care of their hurt feelings bc you’re drained and don’t want to “h…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy01/02/21 05:37 PM
11

Nah you didn’t fail he did lmao
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/01/21 02:01 AM
73

The point is “his offer to help” isn’t genuine it’s a nice guy disguise when what he really wants is to not lose his sex access.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/01/21 03:45 PM
1

Lars and the Real Girl but this guy is framing it as art and not his delusional reality. Or maybe it is?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy28/01/21 12:20 AM
12

MAN!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 03:50 AM
46

Lmao it’s EXACTLY these men looking for manic pixie dream girls that love eternal sunshine of the spotless mind and 500 days of summer while missing the entire point. You ask why they like them, their answer is usually as simple as i DuNnO i JuSt LiKe It
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 03:50 AM
38

Yes my ex was convinced I was his soulmate when he barely knew me, he never asked me any questions about myself except basic small talk, and rarely that... and he expected me to carry on convos and really didn’t try to get to know me on a personal level except when I was ready to leave or, he perceived me in mpdg state of chaos. He’d only “call” when he was driving home from work and bored, and barely paid attention. We’d go on vacation and I’d feel so lonely even exploring cool new places bc he…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy27/01/21 03:48 AM
18

This. Aftercare🙄 in domestic abuse, when a husband hits his wife he is usually extremely apologetic and sweet, until he repeats it. Then he’s apologetic and sweet all over again, reinforcing his ability to manipulate her moods and create a false sense of dependency. How is this any different except it’s under the guise of being socially acceptable bc of sex and kink shaming culture.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 06:25 PM
29

Yes this is exactly what happens with predator/victim dynamics. They take the victims power by dominating. I was with a severe narcissist who liked bdsm (thankfully I never allowed him to get that far w me physically) but mentally and emotional the abuse was insane. I remember feeling so low at one point, I was sweeping my floor and saw an ant, still alive, curling into a tiny ball, then went stiff. I broke into sobs for that ant bc I related so deeply. I’m this gigantic unfamiliar thing threate…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 06:15 PM
6

Wow I cannot believe I never thought of this. That women use it as an empathetic tool. And I get frustrated when the men I date don’t really care to get into it, bc I’m looking for that empathy!! 😨 But the reality is if they care about mbti it is exactly bc of what you said- to feel special. It’s pretty disheartening that most men are so low in empathy that they could care less about trying to understand another’s perspective. So sad, so true. I was actually in an mbti Twitter group and a much o…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 05:59 PM
35

If a person has been traumatized, these types of situations cause either fight flight or freeze. I do not blame her for not being able to leave or say no.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 04:48 PM
18

This.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 04:46 PM
34

This. He acted quickly to put her in such a state of fear that she couldn’t say no. I love when bdsm ppl say “more experienced” 🙄 More experienced at what? Spotting maladjusted individuals they can cunningly and swiftly indoctrinate into their harem of victims? Sure seems like a valuable way to spend your time in life. You know, as opposed to using your intellect on serving and helping your community. I’m sure some lurkers will read this and be like bDsM cAn Be HeAlInG. Bc keeping someone stuck …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 04:25 PM
3

Agahshshjj wack-a-scrote 💀
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 04:14 PM
2

Very true. I’m not a big fan of mushrooms or onions but will still eat them if cooked well. I love oysters! Absolutely though...the way a person presents any of their preferences speaks volumes for their respect for others, others’ cultures, and others’ lives in general. His response said he was a man baby whose world only revolves around him and him alone. Lol and yeah when someone’s diet is that of a child, it does say he is immature. Dodged a bullet.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/01/21 04:01 PM
2

🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 09:16 PM
7

Castelvetrano olives 😍😍😍
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 09:10 PM
6

When a poc of color chooses lighter foundation, it is seen as self-hate. Why is it the opposite when it has to do with looking more tan? Just something to think about.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 06:53 PM
4

I completely respect her wanting to beautify. Tan in the sun even, if you love the sun. Women can wear loads of foundation if they feel good doing that, too. just think it doesn’t look very HV to be toting that you “love yourself” while trying to change your skin tone. I’m sure she’s not aware that there is problems with this... but the fact is she’s privileged to be able to do that, with no one batting an eyelash. I think if she has a platform to promote self love it should be genuine. It doesn…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 06:43 PM
7

💯 I completely agree with you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 07:12 AM
37

Yes I couldn’t watch it. Are you trying to look tanner by using a darker color? I don’t get it. She’s gorgeous. Her skin is gorgeous. Why is she trying to change her natural tone 🤦🏻‍♀️ I totally get if you want to be a fully made-up goddess. Go ahead and layer it on if you love it... but please match your natural skin tone bc its hypocritical and cultural appropriation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/01/21 04:06 AM
26

Same goes for race as well. I think equity is much more important than equality. The resources and support needed for one person to thrive can be wholly and entirely different from what another needs. Especially with historically oppressed individuals. I think the idea of equality is this utopian ideal that fails to recognize the societal structures in place that have made it more difficult for some to succeed in life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/21 07:04 PM
47

Awwwww that’s the stuff I like to see. So many guys I’ve dated will do the check-in but not actually put in effort to cheer me up or help, they’ll just say the token “lmk if you need anything.” Which when you’re feeling like shit sucks bc then it’s putting the onus on you to think of things they can do, when you’re already not motivated and exhausted. Then you also have to ask them, thus making yourself more vulnerable when already in a shitty place. Usually lmk what I can do is: I can’t be both…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/01/21 12:22 AM
41

This is confusingly done but puhhh lease. Thinking you’re the exception to the rule is going to bite you in the ass.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 11:59 PM
4

Yeah I think she meant Jacques Lacan. Look up Lacanian psychoanalysis or Lacanianism
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 03:42 AM
5

I felt this way for a long time but recently when I looked for a trauma informed therapist (she doesn’t have a PhD) she was the first therapist I’ve found in my area that was professional, empathetic, nonjudgmental, and well-informed. She also knows when to push, when not to. A therapist can have a PhD and still not be a great fit. I tried that route after having so many bad experiences w non PhD therapists under my insurance (all pretty much garbage) and honestly I found fake empathy or zero em…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 03:33 AM
3

💯 cbt is not great for trauma.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 03:21 AM
4

https://www.talkspace.com/blog/25-signs-of-a-bad-therapist-you-deserve-better/ I have had some awful therapy experiences. I had therapists that told me what to do and didn’t listen to me just bossed me around; I’ve had a therapist that yelled at me; a therapist that judged my view of the world with extreme disdain that she didn’t even try to hide. A good therapist listens, you feel safe, you feel that trust can be slowly established. But you don’t always feel better after a session if they dig d…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/01/21 03:20 AM
16

I recently blocked all exes on my phone. I don’t know why I would respond to their boredom and horniness/loneliness but it feels so good not getting random annoying messages from these lonely losers. They were either wanting to fuck me or use me as their free therapist neither being appealing. No coincidence I’m doing better mentally than I have in a while lol!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 05:09 PM
7

Also she IS fucking gorgeous. Her eyes are mesmerizing. So is her voice! I had to double check that it was her vocals wowwww. Also, so hv. Learning Hindi bc she’s enamored by the culture? I love her too.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 05:04 PM
77

THIS. I’m like... why is making him laugh more important than kicking him the fuck out
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 05:02 PM
12

Hahahaha the Sephora bit slayed me
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 04:49 PM
20

I knowwww Lorelai didn’t deserve him! Yeah I remember thinking how great Dean was until the Lindsey fiasco. I was so ashamed for both their characters. Lol yeah revival Jess was great... but I couldn’t get over what he did before. Can’t trust someone who’s that capable of breaking your heart and too cowardly to tell the truth. Logan is an entitled buttface, revival or not. Although these are all characters hahahaha I can definitely pinpoint men in my life that have been exactly like them. Such a…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 04:45 PM
22

Gilmore girls! Highly suggest it. Good show. Female created and directed!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 04:41 PM
27

💯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 03:28 PM
6

Lmao I just went to watch her videos she is a hilariously intelligent queeen
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 03:27 PM
185

I knoooow I saw it back then and was like wtf grandma?! But that fried chicken bit... wow. Like we exist only for their convenience. Honking the horn. All the guys Rory dated were LVM. Luke, Luke was HVM.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 02:43 PM
49

What are the missing the point comments?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 02:41 PM
2

Yeah I have always fancied being a writer. He would really be a great villain. He really made me realize how charm is synonymous with demonic.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 12:16 AM
12

Yeah this one isn’t so gung ho on kids either especially after fds. And yeah 100 this shit he did is completely narcissistic. I think most men have a tinge of it, some men have a ton but are delusional about it. I bet her husband is thinking she’s overreacting and shocked she wants to leave him over this. Bc to him in his delusional pea-sized empathetically deficient narcissist brain it’s probably a tiny excusable lie- not one that has completely upended the entirety of their relationship.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 12:13 AM
7

Good! You saved yourself so much heartache!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/01/21 12:12 AM
3

Lol this dude just wants kinky sex. He isn’t capable of actually making a woman orgasm.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 06:53 PM
5

Oh my god that smirk. It’s in fuckboy red flags pretty sure. A serious narcissist and (pretty sure sociopath too) I dated did this face when he pulled a grossly NV move and I called him out on it. He said just kiss me! And I just wanted to gtf out of there bc I was traumatized so I did. And when I kissed him he was actually GOOD at kissing when the majority of the time he sucked. I realized his shitty kissing was purposeful control. He was rewarding my good behavior w legitimate kissing and conn…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 06:50 PM
32

Gross
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 06:44 PM
82

Yes! It’s male entitlement. “Fuck her needs, I want her, I’ll convince her, eventually, that what she needs isn’t as important as my need to be loved.” VILE.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 06:43 PM
11

Hahahaha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 06:37 PM
12

Hahahaha yes please
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 06:36 PM
21

Lol no wonder I love hands so much. I mean if they’re nice expressive hands. However, I was hoping for more than hands and eyes. The female gaze is also just picking up on subtleties. This is why female directors are so great, they create artful moments open to interpretation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/01/21 06:35 PM
1

LoOk It Up. Ewwww
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/01/21 07:01 PM
8

I vote to block him! Back when I was at my worst in pickme years, early twenties, I wiished blocking was an option. Once my mind got to obsessing over some NVM, I had to ask my friends to take my phone and Hide bc turning it off wasn’t enough! I was tempted to call my phone service to block them but it’s not a switch of the button as it is now. For your own sanity block him bc he’s not reached you for weeks. What can he possibly say that would be excusable at this point? Those romantic songs he …
/r/askFDS20/01/21 06:27 PM
8

Yessss to this. Men whine to me about how they are shamed for being emotive and go to us for free therapy. But most of these men who bitch about how their friends wouldn’t understand blah blah are also continuing friendship with these toxic men and keeping the cycle alive. If you don’t want that type of friendship stop fucking feeding it. It’s not that hard and they only act like it is when the spotlight is on them being called out for oppressing and manipulating us.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy18/01/21 04:45 AM
5

Why is he cleaning angry? Lol they’re all the same aren’t they?! And I feel you about the parent situation. They are typically the reason why we end up in these shite relationships. Poor role models for self love and boundaries. But you got this!
/r/askFDS17/01/21 07:21 PM
4

If you don’t have a job nothing is holding you there, except lack of money for travel. Do you have a vehicle? Can you sell it to move or can you ask a friend or family to borrow money so as to move/pack? You can say the situation you’re living in is harmful to your well being.
/r/askFDS17/01/21 06:09 PM
1

Hahahaha 💯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/21 05:29 PM
3

This is very very true. Most men have been raised and socialized to be entitled and privileged - and taught that abuse and manipulations the perfectly acceptable and valid. This is blatant in movies and tv- a good guy in media is one who is always working, never home, entirely disconnected- then stays when his wife cheats out of loneliness. He’s seen as a saint for sticking it out even though he continuously disrespects women in his life- treating them as props, means to an end, sexual objects, …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy17/01/21 04:12 PM
5

Meeee too. She explains what emotionally unavailable means really well and is extremely insightful. And you can tell she isn’t selling us her guidance -she actually knows her shit and genuinely wants to help others. She’s great. Her and Dr Ramani have helped me understand myself, my needs and what has happened to me in relationships.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/01/21 02:46 PM
7

Hahahahahajhhhh
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 04:46 PM
1

Yesss
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 04:44 PM
13

Baggage reclaim is great
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 04:40 PM
8

Not a little thing. This is big. You saved yourself from sooo much misery ahead.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/01/21 04:23 PM
19

Holy fuck number 9. It’s so true. I remember my last relationship I was feeling hurt by one of his many immature emotionally bankrupt responses and thought... why do I even like him? DO I even like him? And I realized I get so caught up in some guys crumbs that it distracts me from the fact that their PERSONALITY is usually crumbs. It’s like women are taught to value a man’s attention before they even check inside themselves to see if they like the person. We are taught to worry “is he into me? …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 04:59 PM
5

This show did not hold up. Though I still watch for fashion inspiration. Thanks to FDS in the rewatch I saw every guy as LVM except maybe Aidan who was medium value. And Carrie and Charlotte broke my heart w their pickmeishaness
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 04:57 PM
22

100 percent. I relate fully. I do think it’s more than fear of losing, though I think her idea is a valid start. It’s not fear of losing, so as much as feeling undervalued, disrespected and unhappy... but can’t seem to leave. That’s a trauma bond.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 04:53 PM
6

Noooooo fucking shit. More than men ruining your life trajectory, believing a man will bring you happiness needs to be stomped out. I spent most of my most beautiful years a miserable pick me settling for crumbs and focused on that and not my own life! It’s a shame bc beauty does get you ahead in life too (not saying it’s fair or I agree w it but it’s just society) - and I used my beauty on so many undeserving men instead. And in turn just repeatedly letting my wounds from an abused childhood fe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 04:44 PM
5

Same I was like you coulda left that part out. It’s just trying to have the last word but it’s not even funny
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 04:41 PM
43

Went black in the eyes. Fuckkkk yes Amy
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 04:39 PM
13

Projecting much
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 04:37 PM
40

That would warm my heart too. And seems like nearly the perfect response. And good for you ok waiting until you felt fully safe to share this. And congrats on staying sober.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy13/01/21 04:35 PM
4

❤️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 07:57 PM
26

W.T.F. This is straight up abuse.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/01/21 03:40 PM
2

1:38 that eyebrow raise says “I have the power here, got her right where I need her.” Yuck. Also seems like traumatic bonding. Feeling connected over anxiety/mental illness and not real commitment or time.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 07:55 PM
69

Yeah it’s really triggering to me. I’m wearing a mask...don’t tell me to smile behind it. Do I have to be bubbly in order to be a hard worker? Fuuuuuck that.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 02:21 AM
17

Eh after sending that message I’d have blocked him and deleted. Moral of the story is say nothing if you’re expecting some sort of high value man response from a low value man. If you do send, do it for your own closure.
/r/askFDS11/01/21 01:30 AM
5

A keychain portable phone charger from a guy I’d been with over a year. Worst part is he seemed so HV. Last NVM guy got me nothing... but I bought him a bunch of small gifts but never gave them when I realized he wasn’t trying to hang out w me for Xmas OR give me anything.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 01:25 AM
117

Yeah but even my female BOSS tells me to smile and it sucks
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy11/01/21 01:16 AM
7

Yes 💯This is why FDS is legitimately doing very real work and is such a gift send to me. I’m so sorry you’ve gone through something similar.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 08:45 PM
23

Hahahaha lack of forward growth 🤣😭
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 07:04 PM
37

This hits HARD. My mother after thirty years talks about how my dad has changed, he’s grown, he’s different. I just think about the decades of abuse and her buried resentment, anger and stubborn refusal to accept my dads cruel and misogynistic side. And it also just feels dismissive of the very real pain I endured my our childhood, adolescent and early adult life at the behavior and hand of my dad. It feels dismissive of the depression my brother is still lost in, it feels dismissive of my nephe…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 06:34 PM
2

That is clear and makes sense. Man it’s really fucking shitty though. Bc I think the truth is most men aren’t noble in their intent. Again it’s not about us as women it’s about the way men have been raised to avoid accountability.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 06:08 PM
2

I hear what you’re saying definitely. Sure meanie garbage isn’t enough. I’m just saying we do need a level of compassion for ourselves. Saying he didn’t like you, at least for me doesn’t equate with ill intent it just equates with him not seeing my worth and that’s just not the real issue. Who cares how he felt about me? When I feel like shit a higher percentage of the time I’m w someone, I prob don’t really like them much either. It’s just attachment, indicating unhealed traumas. Point is he do…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 10:12 AM
2

I dunno why reading things like “he doesn’t care” or “he doesn’t like you” upsets me. It’s not about him. Fuck him. The way he treated you doesn’t matter if he did or didn’t like you...he is garbage. When we phrase it as “he didn’t care” it really triggers my pickme mindset. I start to blame myself. It’s just not helpful to hear when I’m hurting. Maybe others feel differently? It’s just-Regardless of whether he liked her or not... who the fuck cares if he did or didn’t? If he has the empathy of …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/01/21 09:34 AM
32

😨this is shocking. What garbage of men follow this dude on Twitter? 😒
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 02:08 AM
34

The dudes that are confused by this: Appalling. The level of delusion required to not even QUESTION the nature of these videos. I’m. It’s saying so much I’m sort of blown away. This lack of self awareness is like 9/10 men at least. It’s... beyond scary.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy09/01/21 02:04 AM
2

If they saw us as human then that would force them to reconcile with their inhumane treatment of us. It would also force them to realize they are deluded in believing they are gods greatest gifts to us. It’s also why guys refuse to hear the argument of how they’d feel if someone viewed their mom, daughter or sister that way.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 02:28 AM
3

All I read is entitled scrote
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 02:23 AM
2

Yes you getting off bc of them validates their ego. My ex used to say “you make me feel good.” And I always thought it was weird.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/01/21 02:13 AM
7

I’ve literally read “looking for a therapist” like it was a cute joke 🙄
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 03:04 PM
2

Those colors together. 👑
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 05:53 AM
52

He wants to create drama and then blame it on the girl for not being chill enough to handle the giant toddler man baby
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 05:52 AM
7

Saaaaame
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 05:50 AM
60

Definitely cute and I like how his humor is empowering for women and not the typical male comedian that thinks degradation is funny
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 05:49 AM
37

I have now checked out his Instagram and tiktok and looooove him. He has an imaginary relationship with himself that is both inspiring and hilarious. I just hope that he’s this good as a partner to someone one day.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 05:46 AM
67

Lmaaaao apple picking
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy06/01/21 12:46 AM
9

Then again. Just as you say “guaranteed they aren’t looking this stuff up...” Its evident I’m a product of a patriarchal society as I’m being over-responsible for the emotional state of the relationship and looking within when 99 percent of men do NOT
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 06:15 PM
7

This is an awesome comment and so so sooo true. I agree fully that the right person it won’t feel like a constant battle with my gut and intuition. And it is better to listen to yourself (even if wrong) then it is to question your judgement constantly bc the guy isn’t a fit. I’ll definitely check out the book!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 05:15 PM
11

I think the thing that set me off was “how to get him obsessed with me.” I’ve felt that way about a guy and it was always bc I was obsessed myself, which speaks to an unhealthy codependent relationship and that takes two. It’s not helpful, for me at least, to demonize the other person in this, but more look carefully at my own behaviors with curiosity and empathy. Why do I want someone obsessed with me? Have I felt unheard and unseen and assume unhealthy attachment will indicate my worth?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 05:04 PM
21

I do think even HVM will lose patience if we don’t work on ourselves though. Yes a HVM will listen and empathize but we also need to be able to deescalate triggers on our own sometimes. Not sure if this makes sense? With CPSTD sometimes triggers come out of no where and I spiral further into a google hole instead of speaking up, or, spiral further into a google hole without having self compassion. No HVM can provide you with self compassion if you can’t access it yourself. I’m not blaming myself…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 04:53 PM
29

I would argue for my own history, I have CPSTD... and if I’m googling sometimes it is not about THE GUY. Not that I’m excusing shitty behaviors bc often yes if you’re googling about them it’s a sign they suck. But it could also be a sign you need to feel more secure in yourself before looking to men to do it for you- in my case this is true more often than not. Not even a HVM will put me at ease if I’m not at ease w myself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy03/01/21 03:55 PM
1

LVM: asks any of the above odious questions Woman calls them out LVM: CHiLl It WaS a JoKe Annnnd blocked
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy31/12/20 07:16 PM
6

Yes narcissists are the kings of projection. Dude is talking about himself.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 02:28 AM
41

Right I wish she’d puked into his mouth fucking disgusting rapist. Puked in his mouth and then said I’m divorcing you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 02:24 AM
2

I think hope he’s being formal and quiet w her bc he feels guilty that he raped his wife and got the vomit on him he deserved. But more than likely he’s punishing her for not behaving so he could blow his load without any messy human issues.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/12/20 02:23 AM
23

AND make sure you become more mentally ill and therefore dependent on him so he gets consistent sex while remaining an inconsistent asshat
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 03:37 PM
12

“Insecurities that me and my female best friend, more of a sister would do something intimate” anybody else feel that incorrect grammar or typos are lvm telling on themselves??
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy29/12/20 03:35 PM
25

Yeah that only gets worse
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 11:56 PM
87

No relationship good or bad is worth losing yourself, EVER. If you’re losing yourself then boundaries are being broken/tested. I myself become resentful when I lose myself and give more than I receive. So not worth it. If it ends, you’re left w a shell of who you were. The right person wants you to be your youest you and would not accept your sacrificing yourself for him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 11:35 PM
1

Despite never offering her any consistency ever, most likely
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/12/20 04:38 AM
2

Ugh this sounds awful I’m so sorry
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/12/20 05:33 PM
96

Hahahahah holy shiiiit that is real... wet nurse and domestic slave to an addict☠️
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/12/20 04:54 PM
1

😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/12/20 04:04 AM
5

Oh my god I want this on a face mask too
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 09:44 PM
25

Lmao how much you want to bet he cannot emotionally connect w her whatsoever
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/12/20 02:51 AM
2

Ugh watching it now and I’m done after guy said “I don’t even find you that attractive.” Nooope
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/12/20 06:09 AM
2

This. Unless you want to date someone immature don’t play games
/r/seduction16/12/20 09:21 PM
2

So does this
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 02:59 AM
3

This checks out
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 02:58 AM
8

💯 she’s just like I don’t give a shit about your thoughts on love you don’t even know what love is coward
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 02:58 AM
5

Yessssss this. It’s so true his voice drips with condescension while trying to sound insightful. Her laughs are so good. Hahahahahaha... stupid.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/12/20 02:57 AM
1

Am I the only one who reads this and thinks that only a LVM needs their ego babied this much? My god seems exhausting to me.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 11:15 PM
1

Lmao riddled with spelling and grammatical errors and I’m supposed to take his view seriously. Uneducated garbage troll.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy15/12/20 11:02 PM
8

🤣🤣🤣
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy10/12/20 05:36 PM
24

I can always feel when it’s a diffuse tactic vs genuine remorse. One, you feel SAFE around him in general if it’s genuine. Two, there’s no need to say sorry more than once about the same topic. Apologies without effort to change are manipulation.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 06:32 PM
41

I mean look at the scenario also from another lens. My father was emotionally, psychologically and physically abusive. He never laid a finger on my mother but was emotionally and verbally abusive to her. He still will have occasional outbursts but he HAS gotten better. But the issue is it took my mom getting cancer and 30 plus years of marriage and him being in his 60s to show signs of just IMPROVEMENT. So even if it does get better... do you want to wait around and get sick while waiting???
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 06:28 PM
7

Lmao yuuuuup exactly what I said fuckiest of fuckbois 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 04:45 PM
27

Ehhhh I wish I could be happy about this story but it bothers me bc it sounds kinda pick me. If he led other women on, and was known as having commitment issues, he doesn’t respect women. This story makes it sound like you are special and made the cut but this is never true. As FDS states, a true HVM treats all women with respect. Not just the ones he loves. My mother herself loves to brag about how my dad came back after standing her up on a date and ghosting for years... came back and said she…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 04:45 PM
5

Hahahahahahahahahhhhhhhhhh right?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 04:32 PM
4

💯LOL! Though isn’t this most men? This dude just doesn’t try to hide it on his face
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 04:30 PM
41

This dude looks like the fuckiest fuck of fucking fuck boys so I don’t really care about his thoughts on marriage
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/12/20 04:47 AM
1

Same! Wish I wasn’t so good memorizing numbers. Dyslexia must suck, so at least that’s a plus!
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy07/12/20 01:23 AM
2

He didn’t treat you well. He love bombed, went distant, then gaslit you. He took you through the entire narcissistic cycle in two months. He’s garbage, you need to work on your own self worth now! If you’re thinking you’re not good enough for someone who completely disregarded your humanity- please forgive yourself and disregard his humanity bc he didn’t deserve any of you. Now, how can you get back to healing?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy05/12/20 04:31 AM
35

💯 what a piece of shit
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 12:06 AM
14

Yeah HE decided to stay?! OOF
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/12/20 12:05 AM
2

This shit makes me have no hope
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 08:05 PM
3

I mEaNt A sExUaL oNe 🙄so daft
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy02/12/20 05:40 PM
3

Requirements- -Self awareness -Internally and externally growth oriented -Genuine -Caring and not for egoic reasons -Thoughtful and attentive -Curious and able to fully engage and want to know me deeply -Sexually and intellectually compatible -Able to be accountable for his actions and words -Expressive and able to communicate his feelings and thoughts Red flags- -Lacks anything beyond cognitive empathy -Unable to take accountability right away -Not working on himself -Only hobby is gaming -Inab…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 03:17 AM
4

No.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy30/11/20 03:01 AM
3

It’s not hard to write about actions you’ve seen in HVM. I think if a HVM is parading their high values traits, they’re not HVM
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 06:29 PM
1

What’s worse about this type of guy is how unintentional their behavior often is. So that it’s hard to hate them if their behavior is unconscious. Raised w a narcissistic abusive dad, it was truly just bc he’s emotionally immature and inept. But it doesn’t even matter. Holding out for the crumbs from someone to become a cake when they don’t give a fuck about baking- it’s crazy making.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 03:37 PM
3

Exactly
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 03:23 PM
25

Ugh I got issues if I read this and roll my eyes. The men that have all the pretty words🤢 most of the time they do not back it up w actual actions.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 01:48 PM
33

Guaranteed she’s questioned it in small ways throughout. There’s been flags all along. I mean dating 6 years before they got married is a red flag itself
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 01:46 PM
1

Woof
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 06:19 AM
26

💯
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 03:04 AM
85

😂yeah I was like what’s this second guys angle?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy26/11/20 03:03 AM
11

Yep. And I wish it was.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy25/11/20 03:59 PM
1

Yeah it’s the time I do feel tenderness w him. Almost exclusively only then, with exceptions. All the more why it hurt so much that he said it then. Trauma bonding is so incredibly painful... fuck. I’m currently 90 numb over it today. When I sit with it, it’s a lot more than I feel I can even take in. Maybe I want to buy the excuse bc the truth feels too difficult to process 😞I don’t actually buy it all. He says it’s not an excuse and he could’ve been nicer blah blah I think a lot of actions are…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 02:10 AM
1

Man yeah it’s been subtle- a slight guilt and pouting about his actions like he’s sooo sad that I can see he’s not actually that great of a man let alone person 😔saying he’s frustrated w himself. Tbh i think it’s only the sexual attachment that’s keeping me bonded and struggling to block him.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy24/11/20 01:37 AM
3

🥴🤢is this a real dude youve been with hahahaha
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 10:42 PM
1

Empathy, care and respect to all humans would be my bare minimum. And a lot of an ask for emotional incompetent men.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 01:24 PM
2

Oh my god hahahaha same. I was like ugh wtf? Actual video games. Then she said the paper towels thing and I was like well shit... how many of my exes would’ve done that unprompted? Why is this goals
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 01:21 PM
71

😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 01:13 PM
3

This. Lol LVM want praise for being *good boyfriends or husbands *. I remember after my first day of work at a new job my recent ex called me to see how my day went. My phone was dead and I was enjoying an edible trip. So I didn’t call him back. Lmao dude barely called me, I didn’t want to chat. When I saw him the next day he was like I was kinda upset you didn’t call me back, I wAs tRyInG tO bE a GoOd BoYfRiEnD🙄 so calling me makes you a good bf? Or is calling me something bf should just do? HV…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 01:07 PM
3

I think if a girl talks about her daddy issues a guy with his own issues and insecurities unconsciously rejoices YES she was never taught what real love and respect looks like! I can test these boundaries as much as I want 🤡
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 12:59 PM
1

Yeah dude can leave his phone lmao.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 12:54 PM
40

How would you humiliate him? Talk about how you fake orgasms and he falls for them hook line and sinker? Talk about how he asks if you’ve come bc he’s an idiot and doesn’t have any idea? Talk about how he’ll eventually find a girl who wants his small dick?
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 12:51 PM
42

Yeah I think at the very least if a HVM is friends w a LVM the LVMs behavior rubs off on them. A HVM will see a LVM treat women poorly and laugh it off in order to be their friend- that is not HV. I had an ex I thought was a HVM but his roommate and best friend was a narcissistic piece of shit. My ex made every single excuse for him in the book- and it turns out he made every single excuse for his boring ass self, too. He’d never try to make conversation w me, trying to engage w him was like try…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 12:47 PM
2

Yea 😔
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 12:31 PM
3

I am somewhat convinced that it’s partially the sharing of those traumas that unconsciously gives them the go to be shitty. Bc it is like magnets- “oh so she has dealt w this before so she’s primed to deal w it w me.”
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 12:31 PM
1

His reasoning when it happened back in may was that he thought I wanted someone to take charge bc I am the first girl he’s ever been w who liked dirty talk. I do enjoy sexting and talking smut during sex... but I honestly didn’t buy his reasoning... but he seemed remorseful then. His reasoning this time: his dog was in the bed and we accidentally bumped into her a couple times and I said “we keep hitting her” and he said he told me to shut up bc he wanted to get back to the intimacy and just dis…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 12:23 PM
2

Oh my god LVM: errr NVM:was at his apt in the middle of the city. Had sex on period. Afterwards, I realized I didn’t have any tampons in my purse. He said “there’s a 711 down the block and a Cvs a couple streets down...do I have to go w you I want to clean up.” It’s 11 o clock and freezing in dead of winter, and I waddle myself to 711, pissed off. I go to my car to get high afterwards and contemplate just driving off. Lol he calls ME pissed bc I disappeared and said I was being a child. ??? Ew t…
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy23/11/20 04:15 AM
3

Ugh I haven’t. It’s incredibly difficult. I need to, I know I have to get his energy out of my life.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 01:08 PM
19

Yeah he called and kept saying please reconsider it won’t happen ever again blah blah blah and I’m just like it already did? Hes like please text or call me if you change your mind or there’s hope? I said nothing. I have nothing to say. I’m beyond hurt and he’s trying to STILL get me to be the one putting in efforts to salvage what he fucking ruined.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 01:32 AM
5

Lol pretty much. I’m not the one who needed to shut up.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy22/11/20 12:13 AM
17

Thank you so much for your kind message, you have no idea how much it means to me
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 11:04 PM
27

I have a lot to learn w this. Boundaries included. I feel so heart sick.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 10:55 PM
31

Thank you that helps so much. It’s hard enough to go through a break up but one where my ptsd was triggered sucks even more I feel incredibly overwhelmed and depressed.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 10:51 PM
33

Yeah I know they’re everywhere. And what’s worse is there’s so many of them posing as innocent sheep (this ex included). I am so over dating currently, yes. All I want is to heal and love myself enough to be able to walk out the moment something like this happens.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 10:29 PM
17

Thank you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 10:12 PM
105

Thank you so much for this message. I’m grieving and it’s hard to not want to go back. I need to stand my ground, thank you.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 10:12 PM
98

Thank you
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy21/11/20 10:10 PM
13

Oh fuck. This one hurts to read. So true.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy20/11/20 01:18 AM
1

Luke from Gilmore Girls? I haven’t seen it in a while but he seemed to be good w boundaries w Lorelei and respected himself and her.
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy19/11/20 06:45 PM
1

Dude doesn’t read lmao he just games
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy12/11/20 04:24 AM
1

Yesssss! Lol it drove me so crazy my ex would say at the end YoU dIdNt GiVe Us A cHaNcE. He was so confused on why I didn’t want to work through it, as if I hadn’t been trying in every single way to CoMmUnIcAtE it for 6 months. Yeah it’s cool for you, dude, bc you’re not the one pulling out your hair, you’re the one twiddling your thumbs acting soooo confused as to why I’m done
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy08/11/20 08:20 AM
0

A man can be high value but incompatible in values/lifestyle. But lol it is not at all high value to have the entitled view that bc you’re a catch she should automatically see you as one.
/r/seduction03/11/20 01:45 AM
1

Alternatively my Narc NVM ex had sex with me on my cycle at his apt. Acted disconnected and grossed out upon seeing the blood. Then when I went to put in a new tampon realized I had none. I walked out of his bathroom informing him and he directed me to two stores and said “do you need me to come with you bc I really need to clean off.” I was in shock, walking bloody to 7-11 at 11 pm alone in the city at dark. And he had the audacity to call me immature for leaving without saying goodbye as soon …
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy16/10/20 06:49 AM
1

😂
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy04/10/20 08:24 PM
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