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salt_packet_tom Archive

View 9 posts and 30 comments by salt_packet_tom on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
21

Getting Startedsalt_packet_tom/r/Divorce_Men10/12/25 11:59 PM
7

Need Supportsalt_packet_tom/r/Divorce_Men18/01/26 06:51 PM
6

salt_packet_tom/r/Divorce_Men20/12/25 08:54 PM
5

salt_packet_tom/r/Divorce_Men14/12/25 04:26 PM
5

salt_packet_tom/r/Divorce_Men18/12/25 03:38 PM
5

salt_packet_tom/r/Divorce_Men22/01/26 03:50 PM
3

salt_packet_tom/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 05:32 PM
3

Getting Startedsalt_packet_tom/r/Divorce_Men09/11/25 08:41 PM
2

Need Supportsalt_packet_tom/r/Divorce_Men07/01/26 03:43 PM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
1

I left her because it felt like I was drastically changing, and she was just saying the right things without changing underneath. This just confirmed it for me.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/26 05:13 PM
1

No, she had 2 and they both ended up leaving her. The rejection probably led to the breakdown where she finally confessed. I know she found a 3rd guy 2 weeks after I moved out, but it's not my problem anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/26 01:54 PM
3

THIS! I did this as part of my work in my men's group. It's can be a great way to grieve. It was for me.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/26 03:07 AM
5

I found ManKind Project (MKP). It's an international men's group for men ready to learn about healthy masculinity. It's not a church group. I started with the weekend, expecting it to be a one-and-done kind of thing. Now I've got a weekly group I meet with who help me, along with all sorts of other men I met along the way who are checking up on me all the time. You are not alone. You don't have to be an island.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/26 10:26 PM
1

It sucks to add that level of feeling helpless on top of being alone. I'm sorry. I hope you can find some help.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/26 10:14 PM
2

We have to laugh to hold back the tears. At least someone appreciates my humor.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/26 10:13 PM
2

Closest family is a thousand miles away. I've been growing my support network locally, but there's not many people who'd change a bandage.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/26 03:07 AM
1

Cartilage doesn't have blood flow, so the labrum doesn't heal at all. The only fix is to stitch it up.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/26 07:23 PM
4

Agreed. I just sat through a session with our mediator where they laid out their engagement rules. It was all about respect and integrity. Thankfully it was on do I could mute myself. What a crock.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/26 04:53 PM
5

You've just experienced trauma. Don't not make any life changing decisions in this state. Do what you need to be safe. That might mean separating for a time. It definitely means finding a therapist trained in betrayal. DM me if you want some more resources around betrayal. I was there. I managed to stay just over a year. With a ton of work on myself, I came out of the fog. I was able to make the decision to leave for good with a much clearer head. I could have immediately left, but I'm glad that…
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/26 08:44 PM
9

Whatever their age, your kids are too young to take on that emotional burden. That's a conversation for down the road. Believe me, it kills me to not yell my kids that I want the divorce because their mom has been cheating for years. It pissed me off when she said "we" decided, even though she was too much of a coward to walk away and chose affairs instead. Telling them now would effectively be like killing her off in their minds, though. I can't do that to them, and I hope you don't, either.
/r/Divorce_Men04/01/26 02:44 PM
6

We're going to find out. I'm just moving into my own place now. We start with the mediator next week. That 6mo clock is about to start ticking.
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/26 07:04 PM
7

I'm trying to be very aware of #2. After STBXW's affairs, I really want to rush out there and go hog wild to prove to myself that I'm desirable. Someone else phrased it as a question for yourself. Are you incomplete and filling a hole, or are you complete and looking to share your whole self with someone else?
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/26 06:56 PM
6

Great advice. Thank you!
/r/Divorce_Men01/01/26 06:42 PM
2

You misspelled awesome as awkward. I'm jealous.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/25 07:25 PM
5

I broke down in the kitchen because it's the last time I'll make pancakes on that stove. You're not alone.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/25 02:14 AM
4

I personally gave up on joy and happiness. I settled for mediocrity because I checked the boxes I was taught for success: wife, kids, house, job, ... I'm envious of your relationship with your kids. That's great. My relationships with mine have gotten so much more rewarding since I started dealing with her shit and started appreciating them more.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/25 03:05 AM
22

100%. Mine actually checked out, though, starting her affairs 4 years ago. At least now I realize divorce is only a legal formality. That relationship has been dead for years. She had so many other options, and she chose fear, cowardice, and selfishness. Pathetic.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/25 02:46 AM
6

It's f-ed up that we think it's ok to forgo our happiness, though. When I first heard that phrase, it made me feel superior until I realized how bad both sides are in that scenario.
/r/Divorce_Men14/12/25 02:44 AM
2

Awesome idea! I've used it for everyrhing else (including the divorce speech), but didn't think of this. Thanks.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 06:36 PM
2

I added some detail. Short version is it's pretty close to even. I've been told I can probably argue for bo spousal support, and child support is around $350/mo without any other considerations. I'll probably do things like pay for healthcare to minimize this. I'd like the kids to still keep the house, but I don't want it. That's the biggest financial question I have.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 06:34 PM
2

Good point. I added some details.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 06:31 PM
1

Any suggestions on how? Her mom does a daily family email with some dumb inspirational quote. I'm tempted to reply all, but I don't want to start a war.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 04:23 PM
1

It's not that I should, it's that I want to. Too many memories/triggers in this house. I want a clean break.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 04:21 PM
2

I have consulted. They haven't mentioned this, but did say it's fine. It does start the clock on child support, though.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 03:25 PM
2

I've had a few nights away, and the peace was magnificent. She has still mocked my trauma and tried to compare it to the depression she has because of her choices. I'm done trying to live with my abuser. I'm glad you made it out.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 03:24 PM
3

That's what I'm doing by divorcing. Staying has had me drowning in contempt. I heard that forgiveness is accepting the past choice and accepting the future consequences. Divorce is the consequence, and I'm embracing it. So in that sense, I guess I am forgiving her.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 03:21 PM
2

I know, but I honestly don't want to stay in this house. We were married 18yrs and lived here 8. This is where she kissed me goodbye and went down the road to fool around with her CF trainer. I don't need those triggers. FWIW she is the one sleeping in the guest room.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 02:00 PM
3

That's how long it's taken me to get some stability from the PTSD she gave me (no joke). I've also been building an awesome support network through a new mens group. I checked out before. I'm living very intentionally now. Thanks!
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 02:26 AM
1

What does "document everything" mean? I've heard it before. I get that verbal agreements are worthless (she's already a pro at rewriting history), but like texts?
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/25 02:24 AM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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