I'm looking for advice as I consider divorce with the holidays approaching. I'm afraid of ruining the holidays for my kids if I pull the trigger too soon. I haven't even talked to a lawyer yet.

For background, we've been married 18yrs with 3 kids (11/13/15). She admitted to multiple affairs over a year ago. We've both been in IC and MC since. She's doing the "right" things on paper. I'm healing, but I just don't believe anything she says and I can't see her the same way anymore.

We're discussing an in-house separation at MC this week (she's in the guest room already). I want to consult a lawyer before I drop the D word. She caught me off guard first. I won't be the one caught off guard again.

I live in no-fault state (CO) with a 91 day period to get affairs in order. I don't want to give up the house (out of principle) or parenting privileges, but I'm not sure how things will fall. It feels like me moving out would just be easier. Let her wallow in the mess she made while I get a new bachelor pad. She's starting a new, well-paying job in a couple weeks, so she'll make >40% of our combined income.

I appreciate any help you've got.