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steaksauce872 Archive

View 27 posts and 184 comments by steaksauce872 on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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Upvotes Title Category Author Subreddit Date (UTC)
111

steaksauce872/r/Divorce_Men10/09/23 12:09 AM
100

steaksauce872/r/Divorce_Men11/05/23 01:02 AM
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steaksauce872/r/Divorce_Men19/04/23 01:05 AM
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steaksauce872/r/Divorce_Men09/07/23 08:11 PM
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steaksauce872/r/Divorce_Men23/09/23 03:32 PM
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steaksauce872/r/Divorce_Men21/08/23 01:17 PM
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steaksauce872/r/Divorce_Men26/04/23 07:31 PM
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steaksauce872/r/Divorce_Men30/08/23 08:36 PM
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steaksauce872/r/Divorce_Men01/07/23 12:43 AM
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steaksauce872/r/Divorce_Men31/07/23 02:35 AM
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steaksauce872/r/Divorce_Men16/08/23 11:07 PM
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steaksauce872/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 02:50 PM
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steaksauce872/r/Divorce_Men15/04/23 03:32 PM
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steaksauce872/r/Divorce_Men13/07/23 08:28 PM
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steaksauce872/r/Divorce_Men24/05/23 10:46 PM
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steaksauce872/r/Divorce_Men19/05/23 10:06 PM
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steaksauce872/r/Divorce_Men05/08/23 03:38 AM
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steaksauce872/r/Divorce_Men03/07/23 03:24 AM
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steaksauce872/r/Divorce_Men02/06/23 02:51 PM
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steaksauce872/r/Divorce_Men15/04/23 08:41 PM
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steaksauce872/r/Divorce_Men19/06/23 11:38 AM
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steaksauce872/r/Divorce_Men29/07/23 05:23 PM
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steaksauce872/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 06:24 PM
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steaksauce872/r/Divorce_Men28/04/23 01:34 PM
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steaksauce872/r/Divorce_Men22/04/23 08:13 PM
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steaksauce872/r/Divorce_Men13/07/23 02:22 AM
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steaksauce872/r/Divorce_Men18/04/23 01:57 AM
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
7

No turning back, live your life with your new future in mind. What do you want to create? Im in the same boat as you, and I’m absolutely furious. But instead of wishing her back, contemplating why she’s doing it, just move on. Concentrate on loving yourself, and becoming amazing. For you and your kids. Love will follow eventually.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/23 04:49 PM
2

I would like to have a family with whatever current love interest I have. But I’m super terrified of this divorce bullshit happening again. I honestly am not sure how to prevent this from happening a second time. Barring not ever getting married again
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/23 08:39 PM
4

Good lord I hope so, every single day here is a total struggle. I hate where I’m currently at
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/23 04:36 PM
2

How is it you only have to pay 150$ in child support with a income of 150k?
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/23 01:28 PM
3

Yes, my brain continually searches for answers. I’m 8 months in, and I don’t understand why she wanted to give up our whole lives instead of actually wanting to work on the marriage. I don’t have any advice to give other than to just be patient and feel these feelings. Don’t distract yourself with alcohol or anything else. In the end, I wish I could have been what she wanted so that she could feel like she wanted to fight for our marriage together. I’m disappointed everyday by that, but it’s not…
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/23 03:06 PM
2

Completely understand you my friend. I was married 7.5 years. My wife was inexplicably miserable for years, I gave her everything. She was emotionally cheating with some other person, to this day 7 months later, I have no idea how this even happened. Unfortunately we have two kids, and now these two kids are going to have to grow up in separate houses. The whole thing makes me sick. Today, I had episodes of hatred. I hate her, I hate what she’s done to me. I truly hate it.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/23 02:02 AM
2

Both 37, married 7.5 yrs
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/23 01:05 PM
3

Everyone has recommended no more Mr nice guy. It has some good advice in it on how to stop catering to others, prioritizing yourself, etc.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/23 05:48 PM
1

I’m too scared of sexually transmitted diseases to actually pay for it. Honestly I think it would suit my needs just fine, but I don’t want to be hit with HSV2 or something worse and then have to explain that to a potential serious partner. I don’t have any judgement, I just don’t think I could ever do it.
/r/Divorce_Men06/09/23 11:25 PM
1

That may be true that there are women out there who adore sex I hope I find one 😂😂. OP seems to be in a similar situation as me, so just trying to give him a different perspective.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/23 01:51 PM
1

Oh yeah. You should be doing your share of parenting as well.. this is funny I like just got out of this dynamic. Where I tried like an insane amount of “choreplay” to get sex. It’s like I was hoping her to say “oh you cleaned the refrigerator, I’m so horny”. It did not work at all. All it did was make me exhausted, and resentful when I inevitably didn’t get sex for my hard work. My point is that you shouldn’t expect sexual arousal to just happen for a woman at that point in their life, maybe it…
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/23 01:38 PM
1

After having two kids it’s probably super hard for her to get in the mood. Probably after taking care of them all day. I would prefer sex once a week or more. But if she’s doing that just for me out of duty, that’s going to breed resentment and hurt us in other areas. I would say don’t get hung up on the number of times you do it. See what the quality and satisfaction of both parties comes out each time. (Easy in a new relationship, not so easy after 2 kids at 10 years of marriage per se)
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/23 01:13 PM
40

Man, how long have you two been together? 1-2 times a month seems decent if you have two kids. does she enjoy it when you have sex? Do you? Or is she just doing it out of duty? I would ask her, what can we do to help you desire it more? I would try to take her out on dates at least once every two weeks. Especially since you have two kids. Go out, have fun, and don’t make it about sex, work on your friendship. Remember to also touch her In affectionate ways that don’t lead to sex. Women can’t tur…
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/23 03:01 AM
3

I was married for 7.5, and also together 13. I’m very sorry for what you are going through. it’s been devastating to me. If you need to chat, please PM me. This has been a journey like no other
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/23 12:27 AM
1

How long were you married?
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/23 11:41 PM
6

Your STBXW may be moving on, but she will be making the same mistake you are. Starting a relationship without healing from the previous. Rebounds never work. I didn’t know what healing meant, but honestly I would try to date yourself for a while and attend therapy. It may really help.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/23 11:29 PM
3

Are you officially divorced? Has she moved out? Honestly; I met someone great about 12 weeks after she filed and I wished I had waited, I didn’t have anything to offer her. I was able to show her a good time, but emotionally I was a total mess. I think I messed things up with her , and if I would have waited I think I could have made it a better result.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/23 11:21 PM
2

I’m honestly happy for you, this would be the ideal situation for me. But unfortunately I’m not sure my STBXW has the self awareness to apologize and come back. But one can dream.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/23 05:42 PM
1

Instead of divorcing, why not separate? If she was unsure it would be a less permanent arrangement.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/23 12:37 PM
0

Can’t they impute her full time income? If she’s being lazy just to collect alimony payments isn’t that like against the rules? My wife is planning to only work part time but my CS payments are calculated with assuming she’s capable of full time work..
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/23 06:02 PM
2

Wow, so you guys went through the divorce process and then 1 month after it being final she came back and wanted to try again? And she was the one that filed? That is wild. I don’t know what the future holds but something tells me that she’s doing this for an affair partner; and if that doesn’t work out, because likely it won’t. I wonder what she will do after that. I need to move on with life, everything is pain stakingly slow.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/23 12:56 PM
0

So she did come back and you are giving her a second chance? How long has this been going on?
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/23 02:58 PM
3

Man I don’t even know. I would probably snoop around in my wife’s phone more to catch the evidence of her cheating. I would try to sit down with her and determine what she was feeling more often, try to get some sense of how to be closer for her. Stick with more consistent therapy. I don’t really know to be honest. Not sure if anything would have made a difference
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/23 12:38 PM
1

This actually happened?
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/23 01:09 AM
1

So did you separate and not actually get a divorce? And then she came back?
/r/Divorce_Men31/08/23 01:06 AM
3

Wait you married her twice? And then got divorced twice?
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/23 10:23 PM
2

Ugh this is so shit. My wife has been talking to someone since the beginning of this, she claimed that he didn’t exist til after she filed, which was bullshit. I am not looking forward to when she wants to introduce this doofus to our two daughters. I’m sorry for what you are going through, I hate divorce
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/23 12:29 PM
2

Welcome, I’m very sorry that life has brought you here.
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/23 02:49 AM
2

But why?
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/23 09:14 PM
2

That sounds like a terrible idea,
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/23 07:02 PM
1

Do I confront her about this or not?
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/23 03:00 PM
2

She filed for divorce. Denied having an affair. She’s getting serious with some guy, or at least that’s the impression I get.
/r/Divorce_Men21/08/23 02:44 PM
2

My wife is a nurse with a masters degree, she can make 85-95k. She won’t be poor.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/23 02:39 PM
9

My wife and I did therapy for 2+ years, and for 1 year apparently she had already decided on divorce. And the year before, basically “therapy” was only bringing the arguments we had during the week to the therapist, and she wanted the therapist to decide who was right AKA agree with her.
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/23 01:16 AM
5

That is horrible I am so sorry
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/23 12:54 AM
1

No one cares about commitment without god? I mean I agree with you, but that’s sad
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/23 12:53 AM
19

Honestly; I didn’t foresee divorcing for any reason once kids were born. I thought we were partners for life. Apparently I was very wrong about this
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/23 12:38 AM
2

This needs to change. I don’t know how, but it definitely needs to change
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/23 12:36 AM
3

Social media is been around for nearly 20 years now. So has divorce rates increased in that time? I’d be interested in seeing those numbers
/r/Divorce_Men17/08/23 12:21 AM
4

How is it that there’s no way out of this? Other than me taking a job that pays me less money? Even if she gets remarried, I still have to pay her? What the actual fuck
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/23 11:35 PM
2

Did they come back and you took them back though?
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/23 06:29 AM
1

You’ve been divorced 10 years and now there’s the occasional hint of it? Can you elaborate?
/r/Divorce_Men05/08/23 01:52 PM
2

I mean it makes sense, but at some point I feel like there should be some anger that comes out against her
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/23 03:15 AM
5

Right? And her brother won’t talk to me at all, he won’t even answer an email from me
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/23 02:44 AM
1

I’m probably not going to do that. I don’t want them to be forced or influenced to take sides. I’ll probably just say, mommy wanted to live somewhere else. When they become adults I can go into as much detail as they want.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/23 10:43 PM
1

She’s capable of working full time and making about 80-90k a year
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/23 09:29 PM
1

Mine are of similar ages. I truly don’t understand why she’s doing what she’s doing. I don’t know if I can blame her though to the kids. It is true that she made this choice and I didn’t want it. I wanted to say “mommy needs some time to figure herself out” but that isn’t true either because its not a temporary thing.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/23 01:44 PM
1

I mean I’m not sure what that means?
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/23 01:52 AM
2

We are both on the title
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/23 06:21 PM
1

No the kids are coming with me, but mom will not be coming
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 09:15 PM
1

I am concerned that my STBXW will feel the same way. And she will have thrown away a beautiful life.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 03:19 PM
10

What happened to this woman? I thought she was supremely loyal, family oriented, driven and independent. Now all she is, is a textbook narcissist, willing to drop an atomic bomb on our finances, our marital home, and our children’s lives. This is not the wife I know, this is not the life I know she once wanted, or she wanted for her kids. But here we are. I honestly can’t believe it sometimes. Is this my fault? Did I push her to do this somehow? Going back over it, I tried to give her the best l…
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/23 02:42 PM
3

Yeah I also operated by doing things in order to get sex. Until the sex didn’t happen and then I just did a shitload of chores and whatever for no reason. Apparently this is the wrong approach. I thought it was okay…because I thought we were both getting what we wanted?
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/23 01:18 AM
1

Sex whenever you wanted? I wanted sex often from my wife but was turned down probably at least once a week. I don’t know how to get over it because I’m on the thick of it. I guess just one day at a time. I loved the family unit as well. I tried as hard as I possibly could for my family. Only for my wife to drop a nuclear bomb on our lives together.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/23 08:07 PM
1

I have absolutely no idea
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/23 09:17 PM
0

No like we have an embryo that is all ready to go. She could implant it today and it’s like a 70% chance you would have a new baby in 9 months. Both our DNA
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/23 09:17 PM
1

So the answer was yes, she blamed pretty much every problem we had on me. And took no accountability or action for her problems. Expected me to mind read and fix it all
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/23 02:21 PM
1

She just kept asking me for more and more things. Which I couldn’t live up to 100% of the time. Like I tried my best, and I tried my best to listen to her needs. But I couldn’t fully meet them
/r/Divorce_Men11/07/23 12:58 PM
1

Mine is also most certainly avoidant. Mine was full time mom 6 days a week, work 1 day a week. If she wanted to get out of mom duty, why not just go back to work? I asked her about this many times
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/23 06:32 PM
1

Nope, I don’t get women at all. I thought I was giving her the life she dreamed of with a house, 2 kids, and her working less than part time. Turns out she was miserable. 🤷🏼‍♂️
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/23 04:27 PM
1

She had a very comfortable life here. Worked 1 day a week.
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/23 04:26 PM
1

Yeah I would try to sit her down every so often and sometimes I would get the feeling that she was unhappy and that she needed something. We were in professional therapy for 2+ years, and she could never make it clear to me, or the therapist what she actually needed or wanted. So how am I supposed to help? The other thing is; I did understand that she wanted things, but it wasn’t clear that I had to take care of those for her. Like I had to book childcare for her on days when she was home while …
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/23 04:25 PM
2

I mean, what part doesn’t she want for the rest of her life?
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/23 01:14 PM
3

Ours are young too, I’ve got a file of text messages that shows I wanted to work it out and she pushed through anyway. I won’t show this to them for 10-15 years. But it’s all there, my desire to be a family. And her desire to destroy it
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/23 03:25 AM
3

She told me that she actually made up her mind in like April of 2022, didn’t actually petition til February 2023. and made no CLEAR mention of it in that time period
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/23 02:37 AM
9

Here’s my question, how could you live with yourself knowing that you utterly destroyed the lives of your husband, 2 kids. And quite possibly effected your extended families lives as well. All for what…? I don’t feel like I could do that
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/23 12:21 AM
5

Shocking
/r/Divorce_Men10/07/23 12:07 AM
8

that’s absolutely stupid. What am I supposed to tel my kids? We did everything for your mom but she wanted to get out. Now because of this weak ass excuse, we have to give up everything. Our house, our lives together etc
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/23 10:45 PM
7

If it’s solution oriented, why not make it as clear as possible? Why suffer in silence and then claim : I dID EvEryTHinG I CoULd
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/23 10:43 PM
13

Shitty, did they think marriage would be easy? Like you wouldn’t have to compromise? Like you get everything you want? Just ridiculous
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/23 10:42 PM
22

I don’t get that, I’ve never felt like a total emotional dolt until this. Like yes, I don’t pick up on these subtle complaints with no solutions. Why am I in charge of solving your problems?
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/23 09:30 PM
1

Not physically, I don’t think she has time for that. But maybe emotionally
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/23 11:11 AM
2

Yeah I thought there was still a chance, now it’s like aliens have possessed her body. I have absolutely no idea what happened to her
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/23 08:02 PM
1

I get it but Jesus Christ what an awful situation
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/23 08:00 PM
1

She ain’t getting it because she can’t afford it. Now I have to figure out if I can afford it. I wish she would gtfo of this house
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/23 08:00 PM
7

Your lawyer will handle all of that. But yes definitely impute her full time income
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/23 01:20 AM
13

Well that’s total bullshit. All rationality has gone out the window for my wife. She went for the maximum child support and alimony. Didn’t get either. But her perception of being entitled to everything is disgusting
/r/Divorce_Men01/07/23 01:02 AM
6

Unbelievable
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/23 12:46 PM
2

I’m 6 months into the divorce process and I’ve dated a little. I mean why not? I’m not getting any younger, is it the perfect time? Maybe not. But I want to start getting used to talking to women again, being charming, and working on my game. I’m not looking to sleep with anyone. Just looking to have fun, meet people, and work on skills. I’ve been on dating apps and have had the most success on hinge. I’ve had about 25 matches in a few months. Honestly way more than I thought
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/23 10:48 PM
8

Interesting thank you for this
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 07:36 PM
1

She’s on the deed, we did buy it together but before marriage. I didn’t think of this until I met with my lawyer. They said I should try to find the information of the down payment since it was bought before marriage
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 04:31 PM
1

She is on the title. This was one of the first things she said, was to see if I could find the information of down payments of the house .
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 04:30 PM
1

Interesting. Well that’s not what I’ve been hearing from my legal team. But I will bring that up. If it’s just going to cost me more time and money, then I’m not sure it’s worth it.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 04:25 PM
-3

Why would they give her a better deal? Doesn’t make any sense to me. My lawyer advised me to look at the down payment as it was before the marriage. I didn’t come up with this idea on my own
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 04:19 PM
2

She filed
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 04:10 PM
-10

We will see, I would think it matters. We did buy the house together, but I did pay 9x more money than her. So we will see how that plays out.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 04:10 PM
19

I have a lawyer, I retained one right away. I’m not taking any chances with custody, finances, or anything.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 03:10 PM
2

She’s engaged and called you to complain about how miserable she is? Um that sounds absolutely ridiculous
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/23 09:21 PM
1

I said I wasn’t sure if I would. But all I’ve wanted was a happy family. But I will NOT put my kids through a 2nd split
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/23 07:35 PM
1

My therapist says the same things that the no more men nice guy book says. Basically learn to love yourself, do things for yourself, be comfortable being alone. Realize that divorce is not your fault, forgive any mistakes.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/23 01:41 PM
2

:( that’s too bad
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/23 02:37 AM
1

What was her reasoning for coming back? Did she initiate the divorce?
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/23 11:40 PM
1

Lol
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/23 11:01 PM
1

Crazy
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/23 10:37 PM
1

Did she initiate the divorce?
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/23 09:45 PM
1

My family would agree with me, along with certain members of hers. 🤷🏼‍♂️
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/23 08:58 PM
6

I am moving on. But I feel this is such a colossal mistake, that it would make sense for her to maybe backtrack it at some poibt
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/23 07:36 PM
8

Weird. I’ve come to the conclusion that I know nothing about women. And I knew nothing about my wife
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/23 07:34 PM
3

Yes I am seeing a therapist most every week
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/23 05:33 PM
3

I’ve read no more Mr. Nice guy twice. It is a solid book with solid advice. Thank you sir.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/23 05:13 PM
3

Oh lord, that’s pitiful. I don’t think my wife is that stupid
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/23 05:11 PM
3

What do you Mean?
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/23 04:59 PM
9

Whatever success she thinks she’s obtained will not be long lived. What she gave up with me Was insane. But whatever
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/23 04:36 PM
3

This would be the most satisfying thing ever
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/23 04:06 PM
10

I don’t think it’s that simple. She’s the mother of my children, I don’t expect her to be madly in love with me or vice versa. But I do expect her to be committed to the family.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/23 04:03 PM
27

I will be no one’s plan B. That’s ridiculous.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/23 03:03 PM
2

I’m assuming VARS is video, audio recording or something. I don’t think she’s doing anything outwardly weird at my house that I could see on that. I think she’s probably texting a man on her phone from somewhere. I don’t even know if they even met before, or maybe it was a friendship / relationship from a long time ago. Either way, it doesn’t matter. Whatever scenario she has constructed, if it is with another man. That’s unlikely to be healthy for anyone involved. I’ve got my own stuff going on…
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/23 02:50 PM
1

I guess not, I kinda thought she was special. That we had a bond that went beyond some superficial bullshit. Guess I was wrong. I thought that she loved me enough not to act the way she had been. So I guess I’m just naive.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/23 06:10 PM
2

I wish I could have the faith that I could take a break from dating for a year, and know that once I jumped back in I could feel like it would be easy. Dating hasn’t really ever been easy for me. So I go on some online dates, get comfortable talking to strangers, and try to get some confidence. It’s not a perfect situation.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/23 03:04 PM
9

37M here, 3 months into divorce process she initiated. My wife straight up told me : I will never love you again. She told a member of my family that there’s 0 chance of reconciliation. It’s an extreme statement. Life is uncertain in many ways. I know that my wife and I are not a good match at this point. She is going through something deeply personal that I cannot help her through. At this point I don’t know if I even want her back. But maybe someday that will change. I miss memories of her fro…
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/23 02:47 AM
3

I don’t really know, but there was a ton of psychological manipulation. Misleading narratives. Me genuinely wanting to help and being pointed in the wrong direction. Never being appreciated, and constantly being undermined. Looking back, it’s hard to imagine how she became so insane, the woman I married was much different.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/23 09:55 PM
0

Maybe she’s having a midlife crisis. I don’t know anymore
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/23 11:27 PM
2

Kids have grown up in that house, and buying another one seems impossible
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/23 08:02 PM
2

Maybe, or she’s already got another dude lined up here
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/23 06:42 PM
1

Well mine has perpetuated the whole scenario. Now both our lives our blown up. Neither of us can afford to keep the house. So she better not come crying to me about how hard it is.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/23 04:37 PM
1

It’s sad at how accurate this appears to be. As soon as kids came, she became entitled to treat me like shit
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/23 11:00 PM
2

No I mean I want her to apologize. But that’s never going to happen. I’m confused that our bond of marriage wasn’t stronger. After all we’ve been through. She has flaws and I accept that, none of which are complete dealbreakers. But I wasn’t accepted for who I was especially after kids came
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/23 09:50 PM
1

Even if there is a second phone or some other dude here. At this point what if anything will change if I find that information? Other than give me clarity. I just chock it up to this: the woman I married has drastically changed in a way that I don’t understand. I did everything I could to keep up with her and meet her needs as she change, but wasn’t able to fully due to communication difficulty. I was willing to work it out, she was not. I’ve sent her parents an email saying I was very disappoin…
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/23 09:34 PM
1

Lol what?? You still live there with your two kids? Do they know anything? We haven’t had sex in 3 months, we barely talk. I can’t decide if I want her out of my life forever, or want her to turn this around and apologize
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/23 02:13 PM
1

I’ve never seen anything deceptive or secretive Out of her before in 13 years
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/23 02:12 PM
2

If she honestly went to such lengths to be deceptive then gg she’s a sociopath
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/23 01:48 AM
2

So let me get this straight. We met when we were 24, she followed me 1200 miles to my home state, we lived together 4 years, got married, went through IVF twice to have a baby. And then once she got her babies I was of no use to her? If babies were her plan she could have more easily of had them with someone else
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/23 01:27 AM
2

I seriously doubt that
/r/Divorce_Men20/05/23 01:15 AM
5

Alimony is completely bullshit. Especially if the loser is wanting out of the marriage, if you want out then make it on your own steam, no reason for me to pay you to leave me. So fing stupid
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 12:51 AM
1

Best response on here. Thank you.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/23 12:00 AM
2

Thar sounds childish; this is marriage. I married her to be her partner and make her happy. I wasn’t aware my wife was going to attempt to control, manipulate, and shame me in my marriage. Or act like an insane person and me have to stand up and put her in her place.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/23 02:03 PM
1

It’s a shame really, I thought our relationship was stronger than whatever gender roles she thought was bullshit. Or whatever. Her feminism, took control of her thoughts and actions. It made her crazy, and it made our home/working life hell.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/23 04:56 AM
2

alimony and childcare put a really bad taste in my mouth. This system is bullshit
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 11:23 AM
1

It doesn’t make any sense to me, what did she want? What excitement did she want? What was I supposed to do?
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 11:22 AM
2

They got bored? What was I supposed to do?? Challenge her to work at her job more? Make a chore schedule for the house? I thought these Dumbass games ended 15 years ago
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 11:19 AM
1

She told me I wasn’t nice enough lol.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 04:44 AM
1

Can you describe what behaviors resonated with you as far as ADHD?
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 02:04 AM
3

What kind of mental illness do you think she had? I for sure think my wife is mentally ill but don’t know how to classify it. Postpartum insanity
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 01:41 AM
3

3 is the absolute truth, this is what I did for 5 years. I was wrong for doing it
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 12:09 AM
2

I don’t think that’s true. Who would marry someone and go through fertility treatments in order to have kids and not have a happy family as a goal
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/23 10:53 PM
1

Sounds exactly like my situation
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/23 10:32 PM
1

Seems really weird. Like was it just life with a baby was not satisfactory for her? And then I could never reel it in? Shit, she wanted babies her entire life, and it ended up ruining her life, and marriage. The irony
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/23 08:51 PM
3

So what do you think you should have done? Just told her to take care of her own needs? Or what? I’m struggling to understand what should have been done
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/23 08:50 PM
7

Unfortunately I don’t attract women easily and don’t get much attention from them. I think attempting to get back into another relationship is going to be the great challenge of my life. I wonder if now i should just give up on love and find meaning in something else.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/23 08:46 PM
6

Well I don’t believe that you can have your cake and eat it too. I don’t believe you can be a stay at home mom, but not recognize that your husband / husbands salary essentially grants you the ability to do that. She wanted me to get up at night with the kids at night even though she was breastfeeding and the kids wouldn’t take a bottle. (Also she worked 1 day a week). It’s like she wanted everything, she wanted to be doted on. She didn’t want a partner, she wanted to be queen and me her slave I…
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/23 08:42 PM
13

She is a radical feminist. She wanted all the benefits of being a stay at home mom, but none of the other stuff. also wanted to treat me like crap. Minimize anything and everything that I did. It’s actually quite mind blowing.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/23 08:26 PM
6

I tired to be a dominant male presence and leader in the relationship. She despised “gender roles” and thought every role in the house and life was interchangeable between the two of us. How could I be stronger? Tell her no more often? Honestly they would just enrage her and she would accuse me of being controlling.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/23 08:09 PM
6

So what shouldn’t have done was attempted to make her life easy with all the stuff I was doing? I spent nearly 5 years making adjustments for her
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/23 08:05 PM
11

I don’t agree, whatever happened, you both contributed to the place you are now. Forgive your mistakes, they are not a life sentence. Use this as a period of reflection, get therapy and take whatever responsibility is yours and use those to enhance your character. Everyone makes mistakes, we all deserve to be loved even with the presence of our imperfections.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/23 07:02 PM
1

Super insane. I don’t know how but I will be fighting this as much as possible. I will not be her slave for 4 years. Ridiculous
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/23 06:37 PM
1

2 kids are involved yes
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/23 06:27 PM
1

Lol no I make 6 figures
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/23 06:25 PM
1

Nobody has cheated to my knowledge
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/23 04:34 AM
1

It’s a no fault state
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/23 04:15 AM
3

Yes we have two kids. I don’t know, we like our house, we would like to keep it for kids stability. The area we live in is expensive and buying another property would be tough, even with a 200k down payment. You might be able to buy something for 600k, then have 400k mortgage…🤷🏼‍♂️ I am also of the mindset that since she is initiating this divorce. She should leave this house. Just from a moral standpoint; I’m sure that matters 0%. This is all just a crazy nightmare
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/23 01:07 AM
4

This is going to get ugly. Im sure she wants the house and it’s a 0% chance she’s going to back down. I don’t think I should back down either. She could probably buy me out with her retirement account / investment account
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/23 11:05 PM
6

I feel the same way. I don’t know what the hell she wanted in the end. She worked 1 day a week, I provided for her and two kids. I worked my ass off with the kids and around the house. And somehow she said she was miserable, and that I had been hurting her for years. She told me she wanted divorce and I had to go to a mental health emergency center. I poured my life and soul into my family life. Losing it was like losing myself. It’s been 8 weeks and everyday it’s either sadness, anger, rage, ba…
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/23 09:14 AM
2

Omg that would just piss me off to no end. I don’t think I would ever recover from that. If there is another guy in this equation, and she were to marry him, I would be absolutely livid the rest of my life
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/23 04:00 AM
1

The kids suspect something but they are young. 2,4. I haven’t really told them anything and I’m not sure what to tell them. “Mom doesn’t want to be a part of this family anymore.” ??
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/23 09:57 PM
1

Damn I missed this lol
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/23 09:56 PM
1

The only reason I would do that is for the kids. I don’t care at all about her. She’s ruined everyone’s life. I’m dreading having to tell my 4 year old that they are going to have to spend 1/2 time at moms and 1/2 time at dads.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/23 09:56 PM
1

Keep me as a backup plan?? Wtf, we made marriage vows to legally stand by each other no matter what. There’s no F’ing way I’m anyone’s backup plan. I poured my heart and soul into this marriage, kids, house, career, and life. I can’t imagine letting her back knowing how insignificant that all was to her.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/23 09:54 PM
19

Hell no, I’m making sure everyone knows that she perpetuated this. And I had 0 desire to divorce
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/23 03:06 AM
12

She’s awful, but has convinced herself that I’m some type of abuser or whatever she thinks that makes her justified in divorce
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/23 03:02 AM
14

She 100% has tried to make me the bad guy and like she’s the Angel here. Give me a break. It’s absolutely ridiculous, I didn’t do this. I didn’t ruin our marriage
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/23 03:00 AM
2

I went on a date, first time in 13 years. I thought it went well, we had good conversation. She was laughing, seemed to be having a good time. Then she texted me in the morning that “we weren’t a match and good luck to me”…ehhh 🤷🏼‍♂️
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/23 12:55 AM
3

I would be absolutely shocked if my STBXW did this. I’m kind of hoping for it, I’m not sure whether I’d want her back or not.
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/23 01:53 AM
2

I’m in therapy with 2 different people
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/23 11:20 PM
1

Thank you, I’m just like so desperate for something good to happen.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/23 10:41 PM
2

We are both at fault, she has accepted no blame. Has pinned everything on me. And I was suicidal for the first 1-2 weeks.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/23 10:37 PM
2

I’ve been used for 3-4 years. Honestly I don’t know how much hurt I could be
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/23 10:28 PM
1

I feel bad, but I totally am superficial. My upbringing was all about physical attributes. I want to try to change that
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/23 09:38 PM
0

It would serve me no purpose other than to say “I knew this wasn’t my fuckin fault”. Which would be gold to me. I have thought about hiring some sort of service to hack it. Probably illegal. My thoughts are insane, never thought I would have them
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/23 09:20 PM
2

She’s locked her phone, so I can’t get in it.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/23 09:02 PM
1

How did you prove the affair ?
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/23 08:41 PM
3

I mean in 2 years I’ll be 39, harder and harder to maintain fitness. Who knows what my career will be. Honestly it’s sad, but I want to start right away or I feel I’ll run out of time.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/23 08:18 PM
2

I kind of think that makes marriage pointless. Like why is it so easy to get out of this legal contract? I’m torn, I obviously don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t want me. At the same time, she can just divorce me without having tried everything? I think we did a lot of couples work, but she rarely owned any individual mistakes or self reflection
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/23 07:45 PM
2

If she wanted to be submissive, why did she act like an insane overworked bully? I swear, I’m supposed to read her mind, give her exactly what she wants the first time, and never screw up. Like I lead the house, the money, lots of activities, etc etc. never enough, and I was given no direction
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/23 07:25 PM
2

What did you find out with the study of female psychology. I wish I could have it make sense
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/23 07:22 PM
2

This is how I feel. Meeting women was hard before, I can’t imagine trying to get them to take a chance on me now compared to everyone else who is out there
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/23 07:21 PM
4

Stay strong, our height has nothing to do with who we are. It’s sad that some people can’t see past that. I am going to try to look past other peoples physical imperfections as well. I’ve been too focused on looks for too long
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/23 07:19 PM
3

My wife wanted me to be emotionally perfect. I once got slightly annoyed that she bought the wrong peanut butter at the grocery store. And when we were talking about why she wants divorce she said she wanted less flights like that. Um, to me this is so insignificant, I’m not perfect and I was under immense pressure to try to be. I hated it. And every time I slipped up. It was “if you ever do this again our marriage will not continue”. It was hard to believe, but I’d tried my best, but I need som…
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/23 07:17 PM
2

Absolutely the truest thing I’ve read. The image of me as the villain is all she sees. It’s absolutely kind boggling.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/23 06:59 PM
3

She was completely amazing for our first 3 years of marriage. Then after we had a baby, omg, it was like an alien had possessed her body. Like nothing I did was right. To this day I don’t think there could have been enough work that could have been done. I don’t know what happened to her. Honestly I think that after kids were born; maybe I wasn’t viewed as a protector? It was something like, almost instantaneous. Makes my head spin. And I told her before kids “if you want to go be with someone w…
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/23 06:58 PM
1

😂😂😂
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/23 06:40 PM
5

She used me for my money, she acted like I did absolutely jack shit around this house with cleaning and childcare. She complained that she had to take the kids to the doctor when she only worked 1 day a week. Oh and she would frequently try to manipulate me to get her way on decisions that should be joint decisions. These things are not something you do to someone you love. It feels awful
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/23 06:19 PM
3

How do you figure she was checked out 3 years ago? I suspect you are right. But I just don’t understand it, I did everything for this woman. We went through IVF for our two kids because she was sure she wanted a family with me. Then as soon as the kids came BAM, she like thought I was trash. True story, the change in her was insane
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/23 05:12 PM
3

Thank you for your words. I’ve accepted it’s over, our lawyers are in contact and we are 10,000$ deep into the process. She’s used me for many things, I feel like I’ve been duped into giving her everything. To being manipulated by her lies. We are still in the same house, and I don’t know when that will change. Maybe in 3-4 months. We don’t really talk at all anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/23 05:09 PM
1

I honestly agree with you. I’m just so scared to be alone. And I know that finding another person will take a LONG time, and it may never happen. And I don’t know how long I can maintain my looks, fitness, etc. I wish I was comfortable enough to know that when I started looking it would be easy or even do-able. That’s never been the case for me. I don’t feel I’m a bad looking guy, but it’s always been a challenge for me.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/23 05:04 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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