When did your wife’s lucid mind return?

TheBoyBand · 2023-08-05T03:47:14+00:00

She’s gone, she’s dead, the woman you fell in love with is no longer there. DO.NOT.TAKE.HER.BACK.

EarlPronk2 · 2023-08-05T03:56:11+00:00

You are missing a fantasy that you made up in your head. The real truth is what's right in front of you. Your past experiences with this person are just memories that have nothing to do with reality. You are essentially missing a drug and the high that came with it. When a drug addict needs a fix, their brain only thinks about the good feelings it gives, not the terrible consequences of its aftermath. The only cure is to walk away from the source that is giving you this intrusion in your mind. You have to look at what is actually right in front of you and start thinking about how this person treated you so poorly. You don't deserve to be treated poorly no matter what you think you did. They don't deserve you, and you certainly deserve more from life than that. You are a unique individual with feelings and emotions. Get this toxic person out of your life and move on. Stop thinking about the so-called good times and think about what you need to do for you to be healthy and happy in the future.

Old-Macaroon8148 · 2023-08-05T05:11:20+00:00

She might be in fantasy land but so are you if you’re dreaming she’ll one day return and apologize. Never going to happen man.

Lumpy-Prior3261 · 2023-08-05T04:32:11+00:00

Nope and it's been 29 years she got busted 27 since I divorced her .I'm sure she regrets it now my daughter is now 34 yrs old she was 5 then she knew I was going into business.for myself sfe should have waited or not cheat on me .now she's I debt with a new house and just started a business last year from what I hear I'm looking at retiring the end of the year for good . The crazy thing is she would act like we were friends when I would pick my daughter up every time she couldn't figure out why I never said a dam word to her unless it involves the kiddo

wisstinks4 · 2023-08-05T04:59:41+00:00

OP, you are wanting something that is gone. She fell to her vows and commitment to you, your family your friends, her family. She is lost to the streets. Let go.

You need to do Greyrock, do the full 180 and no contact. Cut her out. No more insurance, no retirement, no more family, its gone. She burned the bridge. Gone gone gone. Stop hoping on gone. Go live your new life. You got this. Be safe.

Noodletrousers · 2023-08-05T11:32:43+00:00

They don’t. I’m sorry to break it to you.

I suppose I shouldn’t be so definitive, but unicorns are an endangered species to say the least.

Remember, she’s built her ego around this and used confirmation bias to make herself comfortable with what happened. Introspection is something that very few of us can do productively. That’s step number one. There are multiple steps for someone to take before they can take responsibility for their actions and none are easy.

Just think about how many people she would have to sincerely apologize to and all of the behaviors she would need to change. Then look at how’s she acted recently and tell me whether you think it’s possible. Sorry for the bad news.

For a while I wanted the original woman I fell in love with to come back too, but it’s just never going to happen. I also wasn’t sure I’d ever find someone who I could fall for again, but I have (found many actually) once I let go of the fantasy that my wife would be released from the body snatchers.

JD-Anderson · 2023-08-05T05:22:47+00:00

Sorry to say this but mine has just gone full manic over the years. It’s gotten worse but our kiddo is getting older so I haven’t had to deal with her as much as before. But I still regularly get the harassing text message out of the blue that makes 0 sense.

jimsmythee · 2023-08-05T04:56:31+00:00

My now exwife went crazy on the prescription meds. They rotted her brain. She lives in a fantasy world where she's not a dysfunctional mess.

It's going on 10 years that she got on those pills. We've been divorced now for 6 years. But I still have to deal with her because our kids are still young.

But she never got that lucid mind back again.

ww3historian · 2023-08-05T05:38:21+00:00

I had the same thought but instead of the ghost I thought she was possessed by the devil. And no she didn’t return

Jmovic · 2023-08-05T06:19:26+00:00

"I allowed myself to be treated badly by her" is probably why she's leaving you now.

Why would you accept disrespect and abuse from anyone just to keep them around, and more so a woman.

Thebadmamajama · 2023-08-05T08:05:00+00:00

You say you allowed yourself to be treated badly. I thought of it this way: was there a bottom to the things she demanded of you? To the mistreatment?

I remember hearing about spouses in domestic abuse situations saying things like "he wouldn't have hit me if I didn't make him so mad".

So then I asked myself.. . If you didn't "make her so mad", do you think she would have mistreated you less? I feared the answer.

You don't deserve abuse. You are right to enjoy companionship and joy with a other human.

Please do not romanticize someone who treated you badly. You deserve better. Truly.

goodolddaysare-today · 2023-08-05T06:36:33+00:00

Don’t do it. Remember what brought you to this place you’re in right now.

Mountain_Collar_7620 · 2023-08-05T05:21:28+00:00

Barbie’s don’t have Lucid Minds. Barbie’s don’t have “minds” 🧠 🤷🏻‍♂️ it’s called emotional impulse drive

🤗 on a serious note .. by the time some sort of cognitive sense returns (4 years) she realises what she did to humans - in order to justify that humans generally re-write the narrative before this point to justify their self-perception of events and people I.e. no she won’t pop up with flowers and apologise profusely for her actions. Unless she’s the tiny percentage with enough self awareness .. if she had that she’d not have done it so you’re really asking for her to have REACHED that self awareness After events .. which would require loneliness and self reflection . Society doesn’t exactly foster that on them so what she’s prob getting is validation and group think affirmation. TL/DR:

She “dead” bro no apology coming-move on !! Hugs 🤗

Lumpy-Prior3261 · 2023-08-05T04:41:23+00:00

Never it's been 29 yrs when I caught her 27 when I divorced her one fking I'm sorry or anything

Stitching · 2023-08-05T23:34:37+00:00

Their mind doesn’t return because this is the real them. The one you’re hoping returns is the one you’re putting on a pedestal and only remembering the good about.

WorriedDrumSoloist · 2023-08-05T13:13:20+00:00

It didn't. I waited ten years but it never came back. Now that we're divorced, there's the occasional hint of it, but it's still 99% gone.

ijustdontcare74 · 2023-08-05T14:10:35+00:00

She occasionally tries to make me her “friend” but I ain’t interested. She fucked me over too much for me to ever forget and be friends, she showed just how vicious she could be and I’ve no interest in allowing someone like that in my life again.

Friendly-Maximum9412 · 2023-08-07T02:22:10+00:00

To do the horrible things she is preparing to do to you, she has to twist things in her mind to a point that it will likely never return from. To try to take away someone's kid? To take half of anything they own? To force someone to work to pay for your living expenses as long as possible?

I couldn't do these things to a stranger... and surely not someone I care about.

You are subhuman to her. You think there's coming back from that? Not likely.

Mountain_Collar_7620 · 2023-08-05T15:19:55+00:00

Do you watch The Walking Dead ? Think of it this way - she got bitten drama , she died. Then came back..

The body is moving looking for brains 🧠 to munch people to eat - the persons gone it doesn’t see you it just thinks

“braaaains” 🧟‍♀️

OkEmphasis5923 · 2023-08-05T23:16:51+00:00

Mine did, but I'm the minority. It was bizarre. When it started, it happened seemingly overnight. She seemed to want nothing to do with me and became super distant. Then 6 months after D-Day I was a hair's breath from filing for a divorce and she snapped out of it and came back to her old self. Her entire possessed period from beginning to end was about 1 year. I would liken it to a family member joining a cult. Looking back, it seemed to be a mental health episode but could be undiagnosed Borderline Personality Disorder.

Here's a couple Reddit posts and a blog post that should give you more insight:

Reddit Post (majority didn't get any validation)

Best Reply on that Post

Blog Post

Godspeed brother, what you're going through might be the most traumatizing thing you go through your entire life. Take care of yourself, don't drink, don't do drugs, workout, journal, therapy, time. It might take a few years, but this too shall pass.

DocHolliday80 · 2023-08-06T16:01:06+00:00

In my ex’s family there have been several cases of divorces and separations and comebacks afterwards (her parents, two uncles and one cousin; her cousin even had a kid with other man during that separation). It seems like a pattern of behavior for them.

Whenever she sees me she is always telling me that I am so fit now and in a so nice shape… I don’t know if she would want to follow the same pattern of her family, and come back with me.

I feel very lonely in the last months, but I don’t forget all the fights and shouting and shit I had to stand for half our marriage, so I prefer fucking dying alone to having her back. Bad choice of man to play games with.

GrayCalf · 2023-08-07T01:37:51+00:00

Probably when the new guy got convicted and sent to prison. Cannot confirm though, not in touch.

Acrobatic_Access_905 · 2023-08-07T19:29:01+00:00

The woman who left me is a demon infested murderer who killed my wife. Sounds like yours is too. I mourn my wife's death, and I hate her killer.

Title	When did your wife’s lucid mind return?
Author	steaksauce872
Upvotes	17
Comments	38
Date	August 5, 2023 3:38 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/15ikw0g/when_did_your_wifes_lucid_mind_return/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/when-did-your-wifes-lucid-mind-return.1230239 https://theredarchive.com/post/1230239

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