Day 1

Got into argument with wife Monday about how I don't feel as loved by her like I used to and said we should get a divorce. It was a bit heated, but I left to go to lunch and study. However, realizing my keys were still in my bedroom, I walked back inside and our bedroom door was locked. I told her to open it and she wouldn't; having my shoes on (casual boots and we dont wear shoes in our house normally) I kicked the door at the base and made a 3x3" hole (THIS WAS PROBABLY MY BIGGEST MISTAKE). I walked away to look for a toothpick to open the door and she opened the door. We did not yell at each other, I just kept repeating I wanted a divorce. We both got in our cars and drove away. About 1-2 hours later, I decided to skip on studying and get back to house after daughter was out of school at 2pm. I arrived at 2:15pm, she was gone with daughter, clothes missing, legal documents, and no response from her at all or all her family all day until 6-7pm when a guy picks up the phone and says "if you continue contacting her, you will be charged with harassment under penal code <whatever>;" I think it was a police officer.

I'd like to say we are fairly normal couple without violence/drug/etoh/etc. problems and have had our arguments here and there, but I thought this would blow over and I was just overreacting a bit this morning.

Day 2

Still no word from her or her family. Spoke with attorneys and went alone to court house to file for divorce and ex parte (I'm in california). They said she had not filed anything yet, so I decided to hold off and left her a message about not wanting to get a divorce and how I miss my daughter.

Day 3

I do a case search for the hell of it and notice my name and hers came up with DOMESTIC VIOLENCE!!! I seriously cannot believe this. I never threatened to hurt her or my child, nor hit them. The only "threat" I made is that I kept saying over and over "Either you do the divorce or I am gonna file it when I get back." I bet she used the door thing against me. If anything, ONLY I HAVE BEEN HIT BY HER. Years ago she would get mad and hit me; not too hard from my perspective, but nonetheless, I told her to not do that and she eventually stopped. She admitted this to a marriage counselor at one point too and I recorded her on video another time going a bit crazy on me. However, I have never harmed her except to push her away from me if she starts becoming violent. I always reminded her in the past that she should not do that because I am much stronger than her and she can't abuse me just because I cant hit her back.

I spoke with my attorneys today and I am waiting to be served (I am assuming a TRO is coming my way). I am really lost right now. I felt like I was a great father and husband. Both my wife and I are educated but she is far more likely to embellish the truth it seems.

If you have gone through something like this, please help. I really just need some people to talk with as this couldn't have come at a worse time with me in specialized training at work. The fact that I am a health professional makes things worse because a Restraining Order could seriously screw up my life and throw my many years of school/degree away.

Day 4

Just noticed she's been logging into my personal accounts and has made slight changes (not necessarily bad), however assuming she has filed a TRO (not served yet so unsure), is she violating it? I received an email saying phone contact for my student loan account had been changed for instance.

Update 4:36pm. Turns out door had been repaired previously with some cheap crap, hence the reason it broke easily. Additionally, I picked up TRO myself instead of waiting to be served. I did nothing wrong so I'm not afraid. Anyhow, the whole thing is completely fabricated !!! I'm not an attorney but there is so much evidence against her false claims. In fact, I'm quite glad she lied so much because I hope it will help me with custody. Lastly, you can tell someone wrote up the whole thing. In fact, I think my stbx could have written a better version. This thing reads like a book for teenagers with lots of !!!! At least my stbx was educated and could write quite well.

Thanks for support everyone. Time for me to somewhat disappear and go elbows deep into law.